When You're Back
Page 56
It wasn’t long before we pulled up to the iron gates of the DeCarlo estate. The first time I’d visited, I’d had to fight off feeling furious that Reese had been struggling to survive while the man who had given her life lived in total luxury. However, the pure joy on the man’s face as he got to know Reese slowly dissolved my bitterness. I believed that he hadn’t known where to find her. Whatever had kept him away was no longer important. He was in her life now.
Nonna opened the front door wide, and she was beaming as she called Reese’s name.
“I’ll help your dad. You go visit your nonna,” I told her, then pressed a kiss to her lips before she turned and hurried up toward her grandmother.
“She’s good for Nonna,” Benedetto said behind me.
“Nonna is good for Reese, too,” I told him.
He nodded, and a look of concern crossed his face. “I wish she’d always had this family. I wish a lot of things, but I did what I thought was best.”
He’d been wrong. What he’d thought was best had been a nightmare. “Reese’s past is hers to share with you. But I’ll tell you, anything would have been better than the life she survived.”
Benedetto tensed, and pain slashed across his face. Did he know more than he was letting on? How could he know? “I’ve made many mistakes in this life,” he said, watching as Nonna took Reese into the house before turning back to me. “But that mistake is one I can never forgive myself for. I’ll go to my grave with that part of my soul destroyed.”
He knew. He had to know.
“Let’s go inside. Hernaldo will make sure the luggage gets to the correct rooms.” Benedetto gestured for me to walk with him.
We walked in silence, and I replayed his words over and over in my head. How could he know what Reese had suffered? Who would have told him? She’d come here to tell him and unburden herself of things left unsaid. If he knew already, why didn’t he let her know?
“Knowing my daughter is with a man who can and will protect her with his life is comforting to me. She loves you, and I can see that you love her. But I want you to understand that if there is ever a time when you stop loving her or you can’t protect her anymore, you must bring her to me. Do you understand?”
I was never leaving or giving up Reese. Not for any reason. “I understand. But that day will never come. Reese is my life. She’s my future.”
Benedetto nodded. “Good. That’s what I want to hear.”
Reese
Nonna had kept me with her all afternoon, until Raul had returned home and insisted it was his turn to hang out with me. I enjoyed my time with them, and it pushed the conversation I needed to have with my father to the back of my mind. Benedetto was still a stranger to me in so many ways. He felt powerful yet loving. I knew he was glad to have found me, but I didn’t know him the way I felt I was getting to know Nonna and Raul.
Telling him about the baby scared me. He seemed to be a very traditional man. Even though I knew he’d had sex with my mother as a fling and left me behind, he expected more from his family. How would he feel about me being pregnant and not even engaged? Would that disappoint him?
I had planned to come see him to tell him how the past had marked me. How it was hard to forgive him for leaving me with my mother. But now that didn’t seem as important. I had a baby to think of. A child I would never allow to experience the horror I had lived through. I wanted this baby protected and loved. If Mase wasn’t ready for this, I had to know that someone wanted us. That someone would take care of us.
Once dinner was over, I turned to my father. “I’d like to speak with you,” I said softly while the others still talked among themselves. Raul was telling Mase about a game of basketball he’d played last week.
Benedetto gave me a warm smile. “Of course. Let’s go to my library.”
He began to stand, and I glanced around as I did, too. Everyone was going to know we were leaving to speak alone. I didn’t mean to draw attention to the matter. Especially around Mase, who would think I was going to talk to my father about something entirely different.
“I’m stealing my daughter away so I can have some time with her. This bunch demands all her attention, but I’d like some, too. Please, enjoy a cocktail in the drawing room while we have a private moment,” Benedetto said, holding out his arm for me to take.
“You stingy old goat,” Nonna complained, but I could see the pleased look in her eyes.
I looked down at Mase and gave him a reassuring smile. I didn’t want him following us. This had to be done alone.
“If he bores you too much, remember, you can always escape by saying you aren’t feeling well. Works like a charm,” Raul called out as we left the table and headed down the hallway to the library.
“The boy thinks I believe him when he uses that excuse, too. I just know if he says he isn’t feeling well, he’s already checked out on me and isn’t listening to a word I’m saying. What’s the use in keeping him?”
I laughed. Hearing the two of them carry on with each other like this gave me hope that I could be a good parent. That I had it in my blood to be the mother my baby deserved. That one day, twenty years from now, we would be joking with each other and cherishing shared memories.
Benedetto opened the library door, and I walked inside. The smell of leather and books engulfed me, and I wanted to inhale deeply. Once books had terrified me. I hadn’t wanted to be near them for fear I’d be asked to read. Now I wanted to open every book and discover the treasures inside.
Nonna opened the front door wide, and she was beaming as she called Reese’s name.
“I’ll help your dad. You go visit your nonna,” I told her, then pressed a kiss to her lips before she turned and hurried up toward her grandmother.
“She’s good for Nonna,” Benedetto said behind me.
“Nonna is good for Reese, too,” I told him.
He nodded, and a look of concern crossed his face. “I wish she’d always had this family. I wish a lot of things, but I did what I thought was best.”
He’d been wrong. What he’d thought was best had been a nightmare. “Reese’s past is hers to share with you. But I’ll tell you, anything would have been better than the life she survived.”
Benedetto tensed, and pain slashed across his face. Did he know more than he was letting on? How could he know? “I’ve made many mistakes in this life,” he said, watching as Nonna took Reese into the house before turning back to me. “But that mistake is one I can never forgive myself for. I’ll go to my grave with that part of my soul destroyed.”
He knew. He had to know.
“Let’s go inside. Hernaldo will make sure the luggage gets to the correct rooms.” Benedetto gestured for me to walk with him.
We walked in silence, and I replayed his words over and over in my head. How could he know what Reese had suffered? Who would have told him? She’d come here to tell him and unburden herself of things left unsaid. If he knew already, why didn’t he let her know?
“Knowing my daughter is with a man who can and will protect her with his life is comforting to me. She loves you, and I can see that you love her. But I want you to understand that if there is ever a time when you stop loving her or you can’t protect her anymore, you must bring her to me. Do you understand?”
I was never leaving or giving up Reese. Not for any reason. “I understand. But that day will never come. Reese is my life. She’s my future.”
Benedetto nodded. “Good. That’s what I want to hear.”
Reese
Nonna had kept me with her all afternoon, until Raul had returned home and insisted it was his turn to hang out with me. I enjoyed my time with them, and it pushed the conversation I needed to have with my father to the back of my mind. Benedetto was still a stranger to me in so many ways. He felt powerful yet loving. I knew he was glad to have found me, but I didn’t know him the way I felt I was getting to know Nonna and Raul.
Telling him about the baby scared me. He seemed to be a very traditional man. Even though I knew he’d had sex with my mother as a fling and left me behind, he expected more from his family. How would he feel about me being pregnant and not even engaged? Would that disappoint him?
I had planned to come see him to tell him how the past had marked me. How it was hard to forgive him for leaving me with my mother. But now that didn’t seem as important. I had a baby to think of. A child I would never allow to experience the horror I had lived through. I wanted this baby protected and loved. If Mase wasn’t ready for this, I had to know that someone wanted us. That someone would take care of us.
Once dinner was over, I turned to my father. “I’d like to speak with you,” I said softly while the others still talked among themselves. Raul was telling Mase about a game of basketball he’d played last week.
Benedetto gave me a warm smile. “Of course. Let’s go to my library.”
He began to stand, and I glanced around as I did, too. Everyone was going to know we were leaving to speak alone. I didn’t mean to draw attention to the matter. Especially around Mase, who would think I was going to talk to my father about something entirely different.
“I’m stealing my daughter away so I can have some time with her. This bunch demands all her attention, but I’d like some, too. Please, enjoy a cocktail in the drawing room while we have a private moment,” Benedetto said, holding out his arm for me to take.
“You stingy old goat,” Nonna complained, but I could see the pleased look in her eyes.
I looked down at Mase and gave him a reassuring smile. I didn’t want him following us. This had to be done alone.
“If he bores you too much, remember, you can always escape by saying you aren’t feeling well. Works like a charm,” Raul called out as we left the table and headed down the hallway to the library.
“The boy thinks I believe him when he uses that excuse, too. I just know if he says he isn’t feeling well, he’s already checked out on me and isn’t listening to a word I’m saying. What’s the use in keeping him?”
I laughed. Hearing the two of them carry on with each other like this gave me hope that I could be a good parent. That I had it in my blood to be the mother my baby deserved. That one day, twenty years from now, we would be joking with each other and cherishing shared memories.
Benedetto opened the library door, and I walked inside. The smell of leather and books engulfed me, and I wanted to inhale deeply. Once books had terrified me. I hadn’t wanted to be near them for fear I’d be asked to read. Now I wanted to open every book and discover the treasures inside.
