Where Darkness Lies
Page 56
“Well?” he rasps. “Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted? Or did you want to make me pay first?”
“Please,” Indi sobs. “Don’t.”
I don’t look at her; I keep my eyes on him.
“Well, go on!” he roars so loudly it causes me to jerk. “You want to fuckin’ kill me then do it. Do it! You’re so sure you’re right; you’re so sure I fucked up your life. If you want to make me pay, here’s your chance. Take it now, boy, because if you walk away from here, you’ll never get it again.”
My vision blurs as emotion rips through my body. Just shoot him. End this. Be free.
“Don’t tell me you’ve come all this way to back down now?”
Thump. Thump. Thump.
It’s all I can feel as my vision continues to blur.
“Well?” he roars.
“Shut up!” I snarl, closing my eyes and trying to rein in my emotions.
“I know Jess told you what went down,” he says, his voice like ice. “But I’m goin’ to repeat it. If you’re goin’ to shoot me, at least let me tell you what happened. Your momma was in bad shit. I became a pirate to try to fix that—I could do a lot out here that I couldn’t do on land. Illegal stuff. It didn’t work. When you got beaten because of her behavior, yes, I made her pay by getting her taken out. Her own son copped the punishment for her mistake. That wasn’t okay with me. When I came to the hospital, you hated me, despised me. It wasn’t fair that I was making it worse . . . so I left. It wasn’t until years later that I realized that was the worst thing I could ever have done. Your momma let you down, but what I did was so much worse.”
I flinch, struggling to breathe. I have no words, nothing. All the years I wanted to tell him how he fucked my life, but right now all I can do is shake, the gun trembling in my hands.
“I don’t expect forgiveness from you, Dimitri. I don’t expect you to understand or even try to. But if you’re goin’ to kill me, you need the fuckin’ truth. That’s the only thing I can give you that’s real. You’re my son, even if you don’t believe it anymore. And if I’m to die, I want to die with you knowin’ that I love you. Always have and always fuckin’ will.”
His words cause me to sway on my feet. They repeat over and over as the gun slips from my hand. He loves me. He loves me.
“Did you hear me, boy?” he says, his voice less harsh. “I said I love you.”
I look up at him and see that he means it, it’s written all over his face. It’s in that moment I know I can’t do it; I can’t take his life. There is more than one reason for that. The first being that now I’ve experienced emotion and loss with a woman, I know I can’t take that from Indi. The second is that I believe him. No matter the rage or hatred, I believe what he is saying is true.
In a raspy voice, I croak, “Why didn’t you come for me earlier? Why didn’t you fuckin’ try?”
He shakes his head, his eyes on mine. “Because I was an idiot. Because I fucked up. I can’t give you any more than that.”
I shake my head, trying to clear my vision.
“She loves you,” I whisper, my voice too shaky to use. “I don’t know why but she does, and . . . I care about her. I can’t do it, I can’t shoot you and risk the only good thing that’s come into my life in a long, long time.”
“You know . . .” he says. “She cares about you, too.”
I look up. “Then we need to find her.”
“I’m tryin’,” he says sincerely. “I really am.”
I gather myself and look up at him, “Someone took her, and there’s only one person who will know who that person was.”
Hendrix narrows his eyes. “Who?”
“Livvie.”
Jess
I wipe my face with a yellow colored washer and try to calm my panting. I’ve been fighting with Damon for three hours and I’m exhausted. He’s determined, though, and has pushed me even when I thought my body couldn’t go anymore. Now we’re standing having a rest and a drink. I haven’t taken my eyes off the guards, who have been watching us, making sure our conversations aren’t private.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to let him know about Dimitri if they won’t stop looking at me.
Suddenly, as if reading my mind, Damon spins around “accidentally” knocking his water all over me. I squeal and grip my shirt, fanning it, frantically trying to keep the freezing water off my skin. I take a step back and my shoe slips on the floor. Damon takes my arm as I go down and his mouth quickly goes past my ear. “A name.”
“Dimitri,” I say as he pulls me back upright.
His eyes flash and he stares at me for the longest moment. “Dimitri? As in undefeated fighter Dimitri?”
“Hey, get back to work,” one of the guarding men yells.
Damon steps back and lets me go, his eyes wide. I nod, letting him know that yes, that is the Dimitri I want. He narrows his gaze but gives me a nod to let me know he understands.
“I think we’re done here for the day,” he says, wiping his hands on a towel. “I’ll see you again tomorrow.”
I smile weakly. “Thank you.”
He smiles back. “Fight until you can’t breathe.”
I watch him turn and walk out, and I pray that he can get hold of Dimitri before I have to go back in the cage.
“Please,” Indi sobs. “Don’t.”
I don’t look at her; I keep my eyes on him.
“Well, go on!” he roars so loudly it causes me to jerk. “You want to fuckin’ kill me then do it. Do it! You’re so sure you’re right; you’re so sure I fucked up your life. If you want to make me pay, here’s your chance. Take it now, boy, because if you walk away from here, you’ll never get it again.”
My vision blurs as emotion rips through my body. Just shoot him. End this. Be free.
“Don’t tell me you’ve come all this way to back down now?”
Thump. Thump. Thump.
It’s all I can feel as my vision continues to blur.
“Well?” he roars.
“Shut up!” I snarl, closing my eyes and trying to rein in my emotions.
“I know Jess told you what went down,” he says, his voice like ice. “But I’m goin’ to repeat it. If you’re goin’ to shoot me, at least let me tell you what happened. Your momma was in bad shit. I became a pirate to try to fix that—I could do a lot out here that I couldn’t do on land. Illegal stuff. It didn’t work. When you got beaten because of her behavior, yes, I made her pay by getting her taken out. Her own son copped the punishment for her mistake. That wasn’t okay with me. When I came to the hospital, you hated me, despised me. It wasn’t fair that I was making it worse . . . so I left. It wasn’t until years later that I realized that was the worst thing I could ever have done. Your momma let you down, but what I did was so much worse.”
I flinch, struggling to breathe. I have no words, nothing. All the years I wanted to tell him how he fucked my life, but right now all I can do is shake, the gun trembling in my hands.
“I don’t expect forgiveness from you, Dimitri. I don’t expect you to understand or even try to. But if you’re goin’ to kill me, you need the fuckin’ truth. That’s the only thing I can give you that’s real. You’re my son, even if you don’t believe it anymore. And if I’m to die, I want to die with you knowin’ that I love you. Always have and always fuckin’ will.”
His words cause me to sway on my feet. They repeat over and over as the gun slips from my hand. He loves me. He loves me.
“Did you hear me, boy?” he says, his voice less harsh. “I said I love you.”
I look up at him and see that he means it, it’s written all over his face. It’s in that moment I know I can’t do it; I can’t take his life. There is more than one reason for that. The first being that now I’ve experienced emotion and loss with a woman, I know I can’t take that from Indi. The second is that I believe him. No matter the rage or hatred, I believe what he is saying is true.
In a raspy voice, I croak, “Why didn’t you come for me earlier? Why didn’t you fuckin’ try?”
He shakes his head, his eyes on mine. “Because I was an idiot. Because I fucked up. I can’t give you any more than that.”
I shake my head, trying to clear my vision.
“She loves you,” I whisper, my voice too shaky to use. “I don’t know why but she does, and . . . I care about her. I can’t do it, I can’t shoot you and risk the only good thing that’s come into my life in a long, long time.”
“You know . . .” he says. “She cares about you, too.”
I look up. “Then we need to find her.”
“I’m tryin’,” he says sincerely. “I really am.”
I gather myself and look up at him, “Someone took her, and there’s only one person who will know who that person was.”
Hendrix narrows his eyes. “Who?”
“Livvie.”
Jess
I wipe my face with a yellow colored washer and try to calm my panting. I’ve been fighting with Damon for three hours and I’m exhausted. He’s determined, though, and has pushed me even when I thought my body couldn’t go anymore. Now we’re standing having a rest and a drink. I haven’t taken my eyes off the guards, who have been watching us, making sure our conversations aren’t private.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to let him know about Dimitri if they won’t stop looking at me.
Suddenly, as if reading my mind, Damon spins around “accidentally” knocking his water all over me. I squeal and grip my shirt, fanning it, frantically trying to keep the freezing water off my skin. I take a step back and my shoe slips on the floor. Damon takes my arm as I go down and his mouth quickly goes past my ear. “A name.”
“Dimitri,” I say as he pulls me back upright.
His eyes flash and he stares at me for the longest moment. “Dimitri? As in undefeated fighter Dimitri?”
“Hey, get back to work,” one of the guarding men yells.
Damon steps back and lets me go, his eyes wide. I nod, letting him know that yes, that is the Dimitri I want. He narrows his gaze but gives me a nod to let me know he understands.
“I think we’re done here for the day,” he says, wiping his hands on a towel. “I’ll see you again tomorrow.”
I smile weakly. “Thank you.”
He smiles back. “Fight until you can’t breathe.”
I watch him turn and walk out, and I pray that he can get hold of Dimitri before I have to go back in the cage.
