Where the Road Takes Me
Page 31
Chloe nodded slowly but jerked her head toward the kids, sending a silent message.
Mary smiled, but the smile was sad. Then she sucked in a breath and faked a peppiness in her tone as she said, “So I caught Dean in the bedroom, watching himself twerk in the mirror.”
The kids’ laughter filled the room. Chloe just looked back down at her plate.
I leaned in close to her ear and whispered, “Are you okay?” She turned her head and looked up at me with such sadness in her eyes that I swear my heart actually broke. “Can I do anything?”
“No.” She tried to smile but failed. Then I felt her hand reach for mine under the table. “You’re already doing it.”
“See?” she said, pointing to a picture. “There’s a river or a lake behind them, but we can’t find where it is.”
“Do you mind?” I asked, taking the photo from her hands.
“Not at all.”
I scanned the picture quickly. “Holy shit, Chloe. You look just like them,” I said, before pulling out my phone and snapping a picture of the photograph, then handing it back. It wasn’t a lie. She did. Only younger and more beautiful. I kicked off the ground, setting the swing seat in motion.
Her smile was genuine. “I just want to find the place before I leave.”
I ignored the tightening in my chest and placed my arm behind her. “So, you’re still leaving?”
She looked up at me. “Of course. Nothing’s changed, Blake.”
I sighed, remembering Clayton’s words. I could be her change. “So . . . Mary told me about the cancer.”
“I know,” she said quietly, averting her gaze. “She told me that she did.”
“I just think—”
“Don’t, Blake,” she interrupted. “Don’t do that. Don’t think about it, and don’t think for me.”
I wanted to press further, but I didn’t want to push her. And I had a feeling that with her, if you pushed enough times, she’d push back. She’d push hard enough that one of us would fall off the edge and whatever delicate thing we had would be over. And that was the last damn thing I wanted. “So your plan’s still The Road?”
She nodded. “And what about you? What’s your plan?”
“I don’t know,” I said truthfully. “I thought I did, but a lot has changed lately.”
“Like what?”
“I got a scholarship to Duke.”
She gasped, her smile wide. “That’s amazing, Blake! Basketball?”
“Yeah,” I said quietly.
Her brow furrowed. “But you’re not happy about it?”
“No, I am,” I said quickly. “I’ve always loved basketball. Ever since I was four and my uncle got me one for Christmas. The fact that I’m good at it . . . That’s a bonus.”
“But?”
“But my dad’s army. His dad was army. His dad’s dad was army. So that’s what I’ve been raised to believe my future is. Army.”
“Does your dad know about the Duke scholarship?”
I shook my head. “No. Only Josh and Hannah. Hannah . . . she knew about shit with my dad, and she kind of used it as blackmail.” I laughed once, thinking about how petty it was. “She said that if I ever tried to break up with her she’d tell my dad about the scholarship. That’s pretty much why I stayed with her as long as I did. And I know that it’s not important, Chloe, but I just think that you should know that I didn’t love her.”
She nodded slowly, as if she understood, but all she said was, “So it’s basketball or the army. What are you going to do?”
I sighed and rubbed my hand across my jaw. “You know, until I met you, I thought this decision was the hardest thing in my life. I thought it was make or break. Life or death. With the pressure from my dad . . . the expectations of my teammates and my coaches . . . I put so much pressure on myself that it was all I could think about. I felt like I was drowning in it. Some days I still feel like that.” I paused for a beat, before adding, “The night I met you . . . when I was out for a run . . . I was trying to escape it. That’s what I do when I feel like things are too much and I don’t want to feel them anymore. I run. But now, I see things differently. I actually have a choice, and there’s nothing life or death about it.”
Her eyes snapped to mine, and she must have known what I’d meant. I was talking about her.
She looked away when her eyes started to glaze. I changed the subject, because the last thing I wanted was to upset her. “I signed the letter of intent for Duke. The truth is I’ve always wanted basketball, and not just the game, but Duke specifically.”
“So go to Duke,” she said, as if it was the answer to my problem.
I waited a moment, forming my thoughts before adding, “But there’s also a huge part of me that wants to enlist. Meeting you, Mary, and Dean—it’s kind of . . . I don’t know. It’s made me want to do something more with my life. It’s made me want to make a difference, you know? My dad is right in a sense. Being able to shoot a ball through a hoop isn’t going to do anything to improve the world. Joining the army—being part of a team, waking up every day and knowing that you have a purpose, a reason—there’s something satisfying about that. Something special, you know?”
She laughed quietly and shook her head.
“What?”
“Every time I think I know you, Blake Hunter, you just keep surprising me.” Then her mouth was on mine. But it wasn’t just a kiss; it was more. Her lips didn’t move. Her tongue didn’t search. And just as quickly, it was over. She settled back in the crook of my arm, with no answers or apologies. Which was perfect—because I didn’t want or need either of them.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Chloe
I knew something was about to happen, even though there were no physical signs. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and my palms began to sweat. Butterflies formed in my stomach, and the beating of my heart thumped faster, harder—and even though I was staring down at the floors of the familiar hallways of high school—I knew that when I’d lift my gaze, something was going to change. And then I looked up—and the beating of my heart stopped for a split second. The boy with the messy dark hair and the piercing blue eyes was watching me—a hint of a smile on his beautiful face that was enough to kick my heart back into gear. But then he turned around and walked away—not for him—but for me. Because he knew that was what I wanted, and I knew that he only wanted me to be happy.
Mary smiled, but the smile was sad. Then she sucked in a breath and faked a peppiness in her tone as she said, “So I caught Dean in the bedroom, watching himself twerk in the mirror.”
The kids’ laughter filled the room. Chloe just looked back down at her plate.
I leaned in close to her ear and whispered, “Are you okay?” She turned her head and looked up at me with such sadness in her eyes that I swear my heart actually broke. “Can I do anything?”
“No.” She tried to smile but failed. Then I felt her hand reach for mine under the table. “You’re already doing it.”
“See?” she said, pointing to a picture. “There’s a river or a lake behind them, but we can’t find where it is.”
“Do you mind?” I asked, taking the photo from her hands.
“Not at all.”
I scanned the picture quickly. “Holy shit, Chloe. You look just like them,” I said, before pulling out my phone and snapping a picture of the photograph, then handing it back. It wasn’t a lie. She did. Only younger and more beautiful. I kicked off the ground, setting the swing seat in motion.
Her smile was genuine. “I just want to find the place before I leave.”
I ignored the tightening in my chest and placed my arm behind her. “So, you’re still leaving?”
She looked up at me. “Of course. Nothing’s changed, Blake.”
I sighed, remembering Clayton’s words. I could be her change. “So . . . Mary told me about the cancer.”
“I know,” she said quietly, averting her gaze. “She told me that she did.”
“I just think—”
“Don’t, Blake,” she interrupted. “Don’t do that. Don’t think about it, and don’t think for me.”
I wanted to press further, but I didn’t want to push her. And I had a feeling that with her, if you pushed enough times, she’d push back. She’d push hard enough that one of us would fall off the edge and whatever delicate thing we had would be over. And that was the last damn thing I wanted. “So your plan’s still The Road?”
She nodded. “And what about you? What’s your plan?”
“I don’t know,” I said truthfully. “I thought I did, but a lot has changed lately.”
“Like what?”
“I got a scholarship to Duke.”
She gasped, her smile wide. “That’s amazing, Blake! Basketball?”
“Yeah,” I said quietly.
Her brow furrowed. “But you’re not happy about it?”
“No, I am,” I said quickly. “I’ve always loved basketball. Ever since I was four and my uncle got me one for Christmas. The fact that I’m good at it . . . That’s a bonus.”
“But?”
“But my dad’s army. His dad was army. His dad’s dad was army. So that’s what I’ve been raised to believe my future is. Army.”
“Does your dad know about the Duke scholarship?”
I shook my head. “No. Only Josh and Hannah. Hannah . . . she knew about shit with my dad, and she kind of used it as blackmail.” I laughed once, thinking about how petty it was. “She said that if I ever tried to break up with her she’d tell my dad about the scholarship. That’s pretty much why I stayed with her as long as I did. And I know that it’s not important, Chloe, but I just think that you should know that I didn’t love her.”
She nodded slowly, as if she understood, but all she said was, “So it’s basketball or the army. What are you going to do?”
I sighed and rubbed my hand across my jaw. “You know, until I met you, I thought this decision was the hardest thing in my life. I thought it was make or break. Life or death. With the pressure from my dad . . . the expectations of my teammates and my coaches . . . I put so much pressure on myself that it was all I could think about. I felt like I was drowning in it. Some days I still feel like that.” I paused for a beat, before adding, “The night I met you . . . when I was out for a run . . . I was trying to escape it. That’s what I do when I feel like things are too much and I don’t want to feel them anymore. I run. But now, I see things differently. I actually have a choice, and there’s nothing life or death about it.”
Her eyes snapped to mine, and she must have known what I’d meant. I was talking about her.
She looked away when her eyes started to glaze. I changed the subject, because the last thing I wanted was to upset her. “I signed the letter of intent for Duke. The truth is I’ve always wanted basketball, and not just the game, but Duke specifically.”
“So go to Duke,” she said, as if it was the answer to my problem.
I waited a moment, forming my thoughts before adding, “But there’s also a huge part of me that wants to enlist. Meeting you, Mary, and Dean—it’s kind of . . . I don’t know. It’s made me want to do something more with my life. It’s made me want to make a difference, you know? My dad is right in a sense. Being able to shoot a ball through a hoop isn’t going to do anything to improve the world. Joining the army—being part of a team, waking up every day and knowing that you have a purpose, a reason—there’s something satisfying about that. Something special, you know?”
She laughed quietly and shook her head.
“What?”
“Every time I think I know you, Blake Hunter, you just keep surprising me.” Then her mouth was on mine. But it wasn’t just a kiss; it was more. Her lips didn’t move. Her tongue didn’t search. And just as quickly, it was over. She settled back in the crook of my arm, with no answers or apologies. Which was perfect—because I didn’t want or need either of them.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Chloe
I knew something was about to happen, even though there were no physical signs. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and my palms began to sweat. Butterflies formed in my stomach, and the beating of my heart thumped faster, harder—and even though I was staring down at the floors of the familiar hallways of high school—I knew that when I’d lift my gaze, something was going to change. And then I looked up—and the beating of my heart stopped for a split second. The boy with the messy dark hair and the piercing blue eyes was watching me—a hint of a smile on his beautiful face that was enough to kick my heart back into gear. But then he turned around and walked away—not for him—but for me. Because he knew that was what I wanted, and I knew that he only wanted me to be happy.
