While It Lasts

Page 23

Chapter Twenty- Two
Cage
Eva woke me up an hour before dawn kissing my chest and sliding her hand up and down my very awake cock.
“Mmmm,” I moaned reaching down to pull her closer so I could press her wonderfully swollen lips to mine. “This is the way to wake up,” I whispered before slipping my tongue into her eager mouth.
Eva threw her leg over my hips and straddled me.
“What ya doin’, baby?” I asked as she leaned up until the head of my dick was penetrating her. “Whoa! Hold up,” I reached for the extra condom I’d left on the bedside table last night, just in case. “We need to use this.”
“Can I do it?” she asked with a wicked grin on her face.
“Oh, yeah,” I replied handing the small packet to her.
She ripped it open with her teeth, which was sexy as hell. Then she rolled it down slowly causing my cock to jerk anxiously under her touch. Once she had it firmly in place, she sat up and sank down on it in one thrust. We both cried out and bucked in unison.
I watched in wonder as Eva slowly opened her eyes and gazed down at me with pure pleasure glittering in her eyes. I’d never get tired of this. Of her. I’d never get enough. I gripped her waist and guided her as she rode me driving us both closer and closer to the edge.
Just before I lost myself inside her, my mouth opened and I couldn’t hold back the words hammering in my head with each beat of my heart.
“I love you.”
When I stepped out of the shower my sheets were gone. If I hadn’t shot my load on them I’d have wanted to keep them. They smelled like sex and Eva. I grabbed a towel and dried my hair. Then I wrapped the towel around my waist. I’d been worried about making Eva sore but damned if she hadn’t made me sore.
After last night, Eva owned me. I pushed the fear away that came with that knowledge. Before I thought she’d broken me but now she had the power to absolutely destroy me. Sex had always been a release for me. Nothing more than a pleasurable pastime. What we’d done had been so much more than sex.
A sharp knock on the barn door snapped me out of my happy thoughts.
“Yeah?” I called out.
The door swung open and Wilson came storming inside with murder on his face. It didn’t take much for me to figure out I was the one he was ready to kill. Somehow— he knew.
He pointed his finger in my face, “You touched something you had no business touching, boy. She ain’t one of your little sluts. She’s a good girl who has had one helluva year. I ought to put a bullet through your head and bury you in the yard,” he ranted and shook his finger at me. “But I ain’t. I’ve called Mack. I’ve told him that you worked hard here this summer and that you should be let off for your DUI and allowed back on the team. I didn’t tell him you’ve been banging my little girl. It took all my will power not to grab my shot gun and come blow your fucking balls off when I drove up to see Eva walking out of here at sunrise with her arms full of YOUR SHEETS!”
Had Eva seen him? Was she okay? Why hadn’t she called or texted me to warn me?
“You will pack your bags and walk out to that little car of yours and drive away. You won’t tell her bye. You won’t even look her way. If you so much as blink an eye in her direction I will make sure you lose everything. I know all about your situation. You want a future then you can’t lose your education. If you want to keep it then you’ll walk. Don’t kid yourself boy, if you think you can choose my daughter instead, you’ll never have her. I’ll go get that gun and I’ll put an end to it that way. You hear me?”
He wanted me to walk away from her? How the fuck was I supposed to walk away from her? I couldn’t leave her.
“I won’t leave her.”
“The hell you won’t. You won’t ever have her. I can pick up the phone right now and take away your world.”
Baseball was the only way that I would get a college education. I wouldn’t have another chance. I’d be working in a bar somewhere making minimum wage and tips for the rest of my life. Eva deserved more than that. She deserved a man who could take care of her. But fuck if I was just going to leave her. I couldn’t do that. I may not be good enough for her but I was gonna damn well try my hardest to become worthy.
“I can’t hurt her and I will not leave her.”
“You already did hurt her, boy. You already did. She was unstable and you took advantage of that. Eva won’t ever marry someone like you. She loved Josh Beasley. She adored him. She will never be happy until she finds another Josh. We both know you ain’t ever gonna meet those standards. You are just a way for Eva to act out. You don’t mean anything to her, boy. Now pack up and go before I change my mind.”
Wilson slammed the door on his way out.
I sank down on the bed and dropped my head into my hands. MARRY??? Fuck, what did he mean by marry? I couldn’t get married. Eva would never think of me that way. I wasn’t the kind of guy a girl like her married. He was right. I was Eva’s side thrill. She’d never said she loved me. She’d never said anything about forever. I would never measure up to Josh and Eva wanted another Josh. She deserved another Josh. When Eva decided to get married she’d go looking for someone without a fucked up past and a criminal record.
Last night I’d made love to a woman for the first and last time. It had been amazing and I had a memory that would shape the rest of my life. Eva got her taste of the wild side. She’d move on soon enough. It wasn’t as though I was breaking her heart. But damn if I wasn’t ripping mine out of my chest.
With my duffel bag packed up, I headed out for my car. I didn’t look anywhere but straight ahead. I wouldn’t be able to leave if I saw her. She may not love me but I loved her so damn much it wouldn’t matter. The closer I got to my car without her calling out my name the more I felt something inside me die.
Opening the car door, I threw my duffel inside and pulled out of the drive for the last time. Leaving my heart behind.
Eva
Where was he? After I’d gotten a shower, I’d taken extra special care in fixing my makeup and picking out an outfit that would make Cage crazy, I went downstairs to fix him a snack.
His car was gone. I walked outside and looked around for it. My heart started racing as fear settled in. Had something happened? Was he okay? Did he get in trouble for driving last night? I ran down to the barn and into his back room. It was empty. No sign that Cage had ever been there.
I turned around and found my daddy standing at the door.
“What’re you doing Eva?”
I didn’t care anymore. Daddy could get over it. I was twenty years old. “I’m looking for Cage,” I replied, daring him to ask me why.
“He left.”
My heart stopped.
“What do you mean?” Had he needed to take his car back? Did he have a practice?
“Mack wanted him back. Said he’d done his sentence and he could come on back home. He ran outta here like he couldn’t wait to get away.”
No. No. Cage wouldn’t just run off. He wouldn’t go without telling me when he’d see me again. My phone. Had he called my phone?
I pushed past Daddy and ran for the house. I had to get my phone. I’d left it to charge in my room. Maybe it had been on silent and I’d missed his call. That had to be it because Cage would not leave me. Not after last night. He wouldn’t. The last time when he’d worn the condom and come inside me he’d said he loved me.
He wouldn’t leave me.
There were no calls on my phone. No text messages. Nothing.
Cage had left without a word.
Why? What had I done wrong? Had it all been just sex for him? Were all those sweet words something he told every girl when he had sex? God, no. I dropped my phone on the floor and let the pain assail me. I’d given my heart away to someone who didn’t want it. Even knowing that, I didn’t regret it. I just wanted him to want me. I just wanted him to love me too.
~*~
I took my guitar and headed for the barn. It was my daily routine. Daddy was bothered by it but I told him to leave me alone and let me handle this the way I wanted to. I wasn’t innocent and full of dreams and fantasies anymore. All of that died with Josh. I understood that pain was real and sometimes things didn’t last. Sometimes you just had to enjoy it while it lasts and cherish it when it’s gone.
Opening the door to Cage’s room, I sat down on the bed and sat my guitar in my lap. I’d hid from my music when I’d lost Josh. I needed it now. There was so much I needed to express and this was the only way I knew how. I opened the new notebook I’d bought and the words I’d been working on covered the first page. I began playing the tune that I heard in my head and jotting down ones that worked better.
My time with Cage wasn’t something I ever wanted to forget. I wanted every emotion written down. The way it felt falling in love. Losing yourself to someone. Those were moments that I would always hold close.
Josh had always been in my life. I don’t remember actually falling in love with him. I just always loved him. He was secure. He was there for me and I knew it. We were a part of each other.
Cage was so different. He’d shown me how it felt to want, to need, to surrender, to lose myself. He encouraged me to let go of my insecurities and be myself. Cage was free and wild. He was like a beautiful bird you could never own.
The words flowed out of me and I ignored the tears that streaked down my face.