White Trash Love Song
Page 4
A tiny knock came from behind me and I shook my head as I pulled open the door to Donna, still wearing her low-cut dress with no shoes and a bottle of sparkling wine in her hand.
The small smile that played on her lips faded as she saw my face. “What’s wrong?”
I stepped to the side so she could enter my room. “One of my headaches,” I half lied as I made my way toward the bed, sitting down on the edge and cradling my head in my hands.
After a moment, I slowly looked up to see Donna still standing by the door. “What?” I stretched my neck from side to side, trying to relieve some of the pain.
“She’s pretty. I get it, but you need to focus on the band.”
It took a moment to understand what she was talking about. “Yeah, well, she is someone else’s. If the guys sent you over here to talk me off a f**king ledge, I don’t want to hear it. We’re just friends.”
Donna nodded, chewing on her lower lip as she looked down at her bare toes. Being off-duty during this hiatus from our tour seemed to be bringing out that softer, more relaxed side of her tonight. “No one sent me over here, E.” She held up the bottle of wine as her eyes met mine and she smiled. She was really letting her guard down. “I was just trying to help and I figured you’d be up for a drink. I know I could use one and I don’t feel like drinking alone.”
“Why is that?” I relaxed back onto my elbows as she made her way across the room and sat down next to me. I knew that someone had broken her heart. She had slipped up once when she had too much to drink, started to tell me about her ex . . . but when she’d sobered up the next day, she pretended not to remember having opened up. I’d been trying to get it out of her ever since, but she always changed the subject. Which I got—so I never really pushed it.
But suddenly I wanted to know more.
She shrugged as she struggled to uncork the top to the bottle. I took it from her hands and popped it open, holding it out for her.
“I don’t know.” She shrugged again as she tipped the bottle to her lips and took a sip. A trail of bubbly liquid trickled down her chin and she struggled not to laugh and spill it everywhere. I took the bottle from her hands, pulling it slowly away from her wet lips, and took a drink. Her eyes watched my mouth as I titled the bottle up. Whatever her ex did, it had left her scared to get close to anyone, but I knew she craved it—closeness, intimacy—more than anything else.
“She is stupid if she doesn’t see you are better than him.”
I laughed sardonically as I shook my head. “I’m not exactly a prize.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit.” She bumped her shoulder against mine and laughed nervously.
“I guess that makes two of us.”
“I’ll drink to that.” She took the bottle back, her delicate fingers sliding over mine as our eyes locked. There was no denying the attraction between Donna and me. We were cut from the same cloth. She just masked her pain with the illusion of perfection. I hid behind my anger. Same problem, different Band-Aid.
I watched her tilt the bottle to her lips, wrapping them around the rim, and I had to move away from her. I pushed to my feet and paced the floor as I scratched the back of my head. My hair had grown out in the last few weeks and now was a shaggy dirty-blond mess.
“I need to get out of here.” I was beginning to feel like a caged animal in my own thoughts, and being alone with Donna was a regret waiting to happen. She needed this band as much as we needed her, and for that reason alone I was going to keep my hands to myself.
“All right. I’ll head back to my room. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.” She stood and took a step forward as I turned to continue my path across the room. Our bodies nearly collided and I put my hands up, grabbing her arms to keep us from crashing together.
“You’re coming with me.” I wasn’t about to abandon a friend when he or she needed me because I was busy sulking over my own bullshit. Getting out would do us both some good, and I wasn’t about to go hang out with the twins while that f**king ass**le was around.
“Oh . . . all right, but I’m not bailing you out if you get in another fight. Just let me go change.” My eyes scanned down her body; her dress revealed the top of her br**sts and her breathing had grown heavy, pushing them toward me with every inhale.
“You look good. Just grab your shoes.”
Her cheeks tinged pink as she smiled. I let my hands slide off her silky skin. I grabbed the bottle from her hand and sat it on the counter behind us. “We can finish that later. Let’s go get something a little stronger.”
As I opened the door to the hotel room, I placed my hand on the small of Donna’s back to guide her out of the room. When I stepped into the brightly lit hall, my eyes locked with Sarah’s as she swiped her key card in a room just three doors down.
Her mouth opened as if she was going to say something, but her door pulled open and she practically fell inside as I heard the sound of Derek’s muffled voice. I swallowed hard as Donna and I walked in Sarah’s direction.
As we passed the door, which still hung open, Derek glanced out at us and smiled. “You two are like a thing now, huh?”
I glanced over his shoulder to Sarah and back to him. “We’re just hanging out.”
“Whatever, man.” He glanced back at Sarah behind him. “We’re just getting ready to hit the bar scene with the twins. You guys should come. Would suck to be the only couple there.”
I glanced to Donna, who shrugged but didn’t want to commit to anything. I knew she was worried it would upset me more to be around Sarah, but Derek was holding out an olive branch and I would be stupid not to take it.
“Yeah, just let her grab some shoes. We’ll meet you in the lobby.” I pushed my fingertips against Donna’s lower back and she began walking toward her room two doors down on the left. When we got inside, I slammed her door a little harder than necessary.
“Sorry about that,” I sighed as she grabbed her shoes and slipped them on her feet.
“It’s fine.” Her tone had a bite as she ran her fingers through the loose curls that hung around her face.
“If you don’t want to go, we can just hang out.”
“I don’t want you to be embarrassed when people think we are a couple.”
“What?” I said. She tried to walk by me, but I grabbed her arm, stopping her beside me. “Why do you think I would be embarrassed?”
She sighed, her shoulders sagging as she looked at my chest, avoiding eye contact. “What does it matter if Derek and Sarah think we are a couple? Am I that much of an outcast? I know what you all think about me, but am I really that repulsive?”
I took my free hand and titled her chin up with my fingers. “It matters because we aren’t, Donna. And none of us think you are repulsive. You’re just a bitch.” I laughed as I saw the familiar frustration roll over her face.
She knocked my hand away as her eyebrows pulled together. “I know we aren’t. But why does it matter? If Derek thinks you aren’t looking at Sarah, he won’t care if you’re around. And maybe Sarah seeing you with someone else will make her realize what she is missing.”
I hadn’t thought of that. I let go of Donna’s arm as a smile spread across my face. “You’re kind of evil,” I joked. She grinned wickedly and winked at me. I wrapped my arm over her shoulder and pulled her head closer, kissing her on the forehead.
“I have my moments.” She giggled as I pulled open the door to her room, and we made our way down to the lobby.
The twins were already waiting for us and they turned around, eyebrows rising as they saw me with my arm around Donna. The elevator next to us opened and Derek and Sarah stepped out.
“This is going to be fun,” Chris said, laughing, and Terry shook his head. I just glanced at Donna, who smiled and slipped her arm behind my back.
“Where we hitting first?” Derek asked as we walked across the lobby toward the front door.
“I figured we’d hit a few bars and get a good buzz on before we find a club,” Terry called over his shoulder as we stepped out into the cool night.
I walked behind Sarah and Derek, getting a view of his hand grabbing her ass. I clenched my jaw and swallowed back the jealousy just as her hand swept behind her and knocked his away. I couldn’t help but grin a little bit at her clear annoyance.
Then he reached over and flicked her ribs and she glared at him. I could tell it really bothered her, but Derek was a clueless f**king idiot. Clearly he thought he was being playful or something. He just didn’t get her at all.
I laughed and Donna looked up at me through her thick, dark lashes. I just shook my head as we walked down the sidewalk toward a large neon sign ahead.
4
SARAH
I WASN’T SURPRISED THAT E was with someone, but I didn’t expect it to be his manager. She didn’t seem like his type. Even though she was around our age and seemed cool enough, she was definitely more uptight and professional than E, and E was just . . . E.
Derek seemed to relax a little when he discovered they were together, and that made me feel a little more at ease. I didn’t want this trip to be ruined by his perpetual bad mood over my past with E. Derek just didn’t believe that we’d only ever been friends. Unfortunately, that was a side effect of his own cheating, even if it was way in the past—he just never trusted anyone anymore. But I knew that dealing with his insecurities was part of dating Derek—it just came with the territory.
But still, if he wasn’t worried about E, we could all hang out, and that is all I wanted. I missed Damaged. Life on the road without those guys—and Cass, especially—had been a lot more stressful. Our band just didn’t mesh the way theirs did, especially with all the drama between Derek and me lately.
We slipped inside the Wet Room, just a few blocks from our hotel. I was so glad we had an entire two weeks to relax and hang with our friends before getting back on the road. I loved the stage, but we all needed some time to relax.
The thumping music pulsed through my body and drowned out any lingering thoughts of E. Derek slipped his hand in mine, pulling me behind him, as we navigated our way through the crowded bar. I wasn’t much of a hand-holder, but I was happy not to get lost in the throngs of people stuffed into the room. The bar had to be at capacity and it was nearly impossible to move.
We found a booth along the right wall, and Donna and I slid in as the guys went to order us a round. We stared out at the crowd of dancing bodies as the lights flashed red and blue over them. The lack of conversation would have been awkward if not for the loud music.
“It’s nice to get out of the hotel for a little bit,” Donna yelled to be heard.
I nodded and smiled as the image of her and E locked away in a hotel flashed in my mind. They had separate rooms and I wanted to ask her why that was, but it wasn’t my place. I didn’t know Donna well.
“So, you and E . . .” My voice trailed off.
She stared out at the crowd. “He’s a good guy.”
“Jesus, this place is f**king crazy,” Terry yelled as he reached the booth. Donna slid over closer to me in the half-oval bench seat so he could sit. E showed up with two drinks in hand as he looked down at me.
“Oh, sorry!” I slid out of the booth so he could slide in beside Donna. I stood at the edge of the table awkwardly for a moment before I sat back down, keeping space between E and me. E handed a drink to Donna and leaned closer to her ear to say something, and I wondered what they were talking about.
“Where’s Derek?” I yelled.
E turned to look at me before scanning the crowd and shrugging. “I think he went to the bathroom.” He slid his mixed drink in front of me. “Here. You can have mine while you wait.”
“Thank you.” I smiled over at him and my eyes fell to the hand that was resting on his leg. Donna’s hand. I picked up the drink and took a sip as I pondered their relationship. They didn’t seem like a good fit for each other, but E seemed happier than I remembered.
Chris came back and, without saying a word, slid in next to me, bumping my hip and shoving me closer to E until my side was pressed against his.
“Sorry!”
He turned his head toward me and our noses nearly touched. “What?” he mouthed, and leaned closer so my head was next to his ear.
The smell of his polo sport washed over me. “I said I was sorry.”
He pulled back to look at me, his brow furrowed, before placing his lips next to my ear. “You don’t ever need to apologize for touching me.” As he pulled back, he winked and turned to resume his conversation with Terry on the other side of the table. Such a notorious flirt. I shook my head—I swear he only did things like that to mess with Derek.
I grabbed my drink and sucked down half of it. My throat burned. It was practically straight liquor with just a splash of soda.
“I should go look for Derek,” I said to Chris, who was nursing a beer on the other side of me. He glanced down at me and back to his beer as he set it on the table.
“I’m sure he is just stuck in line at the bathroom.” His gaze flicked to Terry and there was some silent exchange.
I rolled my eyes. I hated when they communicated in code like that. “Whatever, just let me out, Chris.” E looked to Chris and nodded. Chris sighed and slid out of the booth so I could get out, just as Derek showed up at the table.
“Hey, this place is crazy, man.” Derek’s eyes were already glossed over, and he slipped in front of Chris and tapped my thigh for me to slide back into the booth. I did, pushing my leg flush against E’s as Chris squeezed in on the end.
The small smile that played on her lips faded as she saw my face. “What’s wrong?”
I stepped to the side so she could enter my room. “One of my headaches,” I half lied as I made my way toward the bed, sitting down on the edge and cradling my head in my hands.
After a moment, I slowly looked up to see Donna still standing by the door. “What?” I stretched my neck from side to side, trying to relieve some of the pain.
“She’s pretty. I get it, but you need to focus on the band.”
It took a moment to understand what she was talking about. “Yeah, well, she is someone else’s. If the guys sent you over here to talk me off a f**king ledge, I don’t want to hear it. We’re just friends.”
Donna nodded, chewing on her lower lip as she looked down at her bare toes. Being off-duty during this hiatus from our tour seemed to be bringing out that softer, more relaxed side of her tonight. “No one sent me over here, E.” She held up the bottle of wine as her eyes met mine and she smiled. She was really letting her guard down. “I was just trying to help and I figured you’d be up for a drink. I know I could use one and I don’t feel like drinking alone.”
“Why is that?” I relaxed back onto my elbows as she made her way across the room and sat down next to me. I knew that someone had broken her heart. She had slipped up once when she had too much to drink, started to tell me about her ex . . . but when she’d sobered up the next day, she pretended not to remember having opened up. I’d been trying to get it out of her ever since, but she always changed the subject. Which I got—so I never really pushed it.
But suddenly I wanted to know more.
She shrugged as she struggled to uncork the top to the bottle. I took it from her hands and popped it open, holding it out for her.
“I don’t know.” She shrugged again as she tipped the bottle to her lips and took a sip. A trail of bubbly liquid trickled down her chin and she struggled not to laugh and spill it everywhere. I took the bottle from her hands, pulling it slowly away from her wet lips, and took a drink. Her eyes watched my mouth as I titled the bottle up. Whatever her ex did, it had left her scared to get close to anyone, but I knew she craved it—closeness, intimacy—more than anything else.
“She is stupid if she doesn’t see you are better than him.”
I laughed sardonically as I shook my head. “I’m not exactly a prize.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit.” She bumped her shoulder against mine and laughed nervously.
“I guess that makes two of us.”
“I’ll drink to that.” She took the bottle back, her delicate fingers sliding over mine as our eyes locked. There was no denying the attraction between Donna and me. We were cut from the same cloth. She just masked her pain with the illusion of perfection. I hid behind my anger. Same problem, different Band-Aid.
I watched her tilt the bottle to her lips, wrapping them around the rim, and I had to move away from her. I pushed to my feet and paced the floor as I scratched the back of my head. My hair had grown out in the last few weeks and now was a shaggy dirty-blond mess.
“I need to get out of here.” I was beginning to feel like a caged animal in my own thoughts, and being alone with Donna was a regret waiting to happen. She needed this band as much as we needed her, and for that reason alone I was going to keep my hands to myself.
“All right. I’ll head back to my room. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.” She stood and took a step forward as I turned to continue my path across the room. Our bodies nearly collided and I put my hands up, grabbing her arms to keep us from crashing together.
“You’re coming with me.” I wasn’t about to abandon a friend when he or she needed me because I was busy sulking over my own bullshit. Getting out would do us both some good, and I wasn’t about to go hang out with the twins while that f**king ass**le was around.
“Oh . . . all right, but I’m not bailing you out if you get in another fight. Just let me go change.” My eyes scanned down her body; her dress revealed the top of her br**sts and her breathing had grown heavy, pushing them toward me with every inhale.
“You look good. Just grab your shoes.”
Her cheeks tinged pink as she smiled. I let my hands slide off her silky skin. I grabbed the bottle from her hand and sat it on the counter behind us. “We can finish that later. Let’s go get something a little stronger.”
As I opened the door to the hotel room, I placed my hand on the small of Donna’s back to guide her out of the room. When I stepped into the brightly lit hall, my eyes locked with Sarah’s as she swiped her key card in a room just three doors down.
Her mouth opened as if she was going to say something, but her door pulled open and she practically fell inside as I heard the sound of Derek’s muffled voice. I swallowed hard as Donna and I walked in Sarah’s direction.
As we passed the door, which still hung open, Derek glanced out at us and smiled. “You two are like a thing now, huh?”
I glanced over his shoulder to Sarah and back to him. “We’re just hanging out.”
“Whatever, man.” He glanced back at Sarah behind him. “We’re just getting ready to hit the bar scene with the twins. You guys should come. Would suck to be the only couple there.”
I glanced to Donna, who shrugged but didn’t want to commit to anything. I knew she was worried it would upset me more to be around Sarah, but Derek was holding out an olive branch and I would be stupid not to take it.
“Yeah, just let her grab some shoes. We’ll meet you in the lobby.” I pushed my fingertips against Donna’s lower back and she began walking toward her room two doors down on the left. When we got inside, I slammed her door a little harder than necessary.
“Sorry about that,” I sighed as she grabbed her shoes and slipped them on her feet.
“It’s fine.” Her tone had a bite as she ran her fingers through the loose curls that hung around her face.
“If you don’t want to go, we can just hang out.”
“I don’t want you to be embarrassed when people think we are a couple.”
“What?” I said. She tried to walk by me, but I grabbed her arm, stopping her beside me. “Why do you think I would be embarrassed?”
She sighed, her shoulders sagging as she looked at my chest, avoiding eye contact. “What does it matter if Derek and Sarah think we are a couple? Am I that much of an outcast? I know what you all think about me, but am I really that repulsive?”
I took my free hand and titled her chin up with my fingers. “It matters because we aren’t, Donna. And none of us think you are repulsive. You’re just a bitch.” I laughed as I saw the familiar frustration roll over her face.
She knocked my hand away as her eyebrows pulled together. “I know we aren’t. But why does it matter? If Derek thinks you aren’t looking at Sarah, he won’t care if you’re around. And maybe Sarah seeing you with someone else will make her realize what she is missing.”
I hadn’t thought of that. I let go of Donna’s arm as a smile spread across my face. “You’re kind of evil,” I joked. She grinned wickedly and winked at me. I wrapped my arm over her shoulder and pulled her head closer, kissing her on the forehead.
“I have my moments.” She giggled as I pulled open the door to her room, and we made our way down to the lobby.
The twins were already waiting for us and they turned around, eyebrows rising as they saw me with my arm around Donna. The elevator next to us opened and Derek and Sarah stepped out.
“This is going to be fun,” Chris said, laughing, and Terry shook his head. I just glanced at Donna, who smiled and slipped her arm behind my back.
“Where we hitting first?” Derek asked as we walked across the lobby toward the front door.
“I figured we’d hit a few bars and get a good buzz on before we find a club,” Terry called over his shoulder as we stepped out into the cool night.
I walked behind Sarah and Derek, getting a view of his hand grabbing her ass. I clenched my jaw and swallowed back the jealousy just as her hand swept behind her and knocked his away. I couldn’t help but grin a little bit at her clear annoyance.
Then he reached over and flicked her ribs and she glared at him. I could tell it really bothered her, but Derek was a clueless f**king idiot. Clearly he thought he was being playful or something. He just didn’t get her at all.
I laughed and Donna looked up at me through her thick, dark lashes. I just shook my head as we walked down the sidewalk toward a large neon sign ahead.
4
SARAH
I WASN’T SURPRISED THAT E was with someone, but I didn’t expect it to be his manager. She didn’t seem like his type. Even though she was around our age and seemed cool enough, she was definitely more uptight and professional than E, and E was just . . . E.
Derek seemed to relax a little when he discovered they were together, and that made me feel a little more at ease. I didn’t want this trip to be ruined by his perpetual bad mood over my past with E. Derek just didn’t believe that we’d only ever been friends. Unfortunately, that was a side effect of his own cheating, even if it was way in the past—he just never trusted anyone anymore. But I knew that dealing with his insecurities was part of dating Derek—it just came with the territory.
But still, if he wasn’t worried about E, we could all hang out, and that is all I wanted. I missed Damaged. Life on the road without those guys—and Cass, especially—had been a lot more stressful. Our band just didn’t mesh the way theirs did, especially with all the drama between Derek and me lately.
We slipped inside the Wet Room, just a few blocks from our hotel. I was so glad we had an entire two weeks to relax and hang with our friends before getting back on the road. I loved the stage, but we all needed some time to relax.
The thumping music pulsed through my body and drowned out any lingering thoughts of E. Derek slipped his hand in mine, pulling me behind him, as we navigated our way through the crowded bar. I wasn’t much of a hand-holder, but I was happy not to get lost in the throngs of people stuffed into the room. The bar had to be at capacity and it was nearly impossible to move.
We found a booth along the right wall, and Donna and I slid in as the guys went to order us a round. We stared out at the crowd of dancing bodies as the lights flashed red and blue over them. The lack of conversation would have been awkward if not for the loud music.
“It’s nice to get out of the hotel for a little bit,” Donna yelled to be heard.
I nodded and smiled as the image of her and E locked away in a hotel flashed in my mind. They had separate rooms and I wanted to ask her why that was, but it wasn’t my place. I didn’t know Donna well.
“So, you and E . . .” My voice trailed off.
She stared out at the crowd. “He’s a good guy.”
“Jesus, this place is f**king crazy,” Terry yelled as he reached the booth. Donna slid over closer to me in the half-oval bench seat so he could sit. E showed up with two drinks in hand as he looked down at me.
“Oh, sorry!” I slid out of the booth so he could slide in beside Donna. I stood at the edge of the table awkwardly for a moment before I sat back down, keeping space between E and me. E handed a drink to Donna and leaned closer to her ear to say something, and I wondered what they were talking about.
“Where’s Derek?” I yelled.
E turned to look at me before scanning the crowd and shrugging. “I think he went to the bathroom.” He slid his mixed drink in front of me. “Here. You can have mine while you wait.”
“Thank you.” I smiled over at him and my eyes fell to the hand that was resting on his leg. Donna’s hand. I picked up the drink and took a sip as I pondered their relationship. They didn’t seem like a good fit for each other, but E seemed happier than I remembered.
Chris came back and, without saying a word, slid in next to me, bumping my hip and shoving me closer to E until my side was pressed against his.
“Sorry!”
He turned his head toward me and our noses nearly touched. “What?” he mouthed, and leaned closer so my head was next to his ear.
The smell of his polo sport washed over me. “I said I was sorry.”
He pulled back to look at me, his brow furrowed, before placing his lips next to my ear. “You don’t ever need to apologize for touching me.” As he pulled back, he winked and turned to resume his conversation with Terry on the other side of the table. Such a notorious flirt. I shook my head—I swear he only did things like that to mess with Derek.
I grabbed my drink and sucked down half of it. My throat burned. It was practically straight liquor with just a splash of soda.
“I should go look for Derek,” I said to Chris, who was nursing a beer on the other side of me. He glanced down at me and back to his beer as he set it on the table.
“I’m sure he is just stuck in line at the bathroom.” His gaze flicked to Terry and there was some silent exchange.
I rolled my eyes. I hated when they communicated in code like that. “Whatever, just let me out, Chris.” E looked to Chris and nodded. Chris sighed and slid out of the booth so I could get out, just as Derek showed up at the table.
“Hey, this place is crazy, man.” Derek’s eyes were already glossed over, and he slipped in front of Chris and tapped my thigh for me to slide back into the booth. I did, pushing my leg flush against E’s as Chris squeezed in on the end.
