Why Not Tonight
Page 43
“Yup.”
Ronan laughed. “Fine. So we run, then what?”
“Push-ups and pull-ups until one of us pukes.”
Mathias groaned. “Great. I can’t wait for that.”
They started out at a slow jog. The path around the park was a mile long, meaning they would circle it four times. Ronan knew that jogging outside was more challenging than the run he did on his treadmill at home and he looked forward to pushing himself this morning. No way he was going to be the one to puke first.
“How’s Pallas?” Mathias asked Nick when they’d found their rhythm on the run.
“Feeling better. Just like the doctor said, her hormones are calming down and she’s having more time between the waves of nausea.” He swore, then continued. “I don’t know how she got through it. I was exhausted and all I had to do was try to help. She was the one dealing with physical symptoms. Her mom told her she went through the same thing with her pregnancies.”
Mathias shook his head. “Let me guess. Libby being Libby, she was almost gleeful that Pallas was suffering, as well.”
“You know it. Mothers and daughters are complicated creatures.”
“But Pallas is definitely better?” Mathias asked.
“She is. The doctor is hopeful that once she gets through this stage, she’ll be fine. There’s a chance she could be sick at the end of her pregnancy, when the hormones step up again. We’ll have to see.”
They continued talking about the pregnancy, but Ronan stopped listening. He didn’t want to think about children—not when he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to have any. How could he? The risk was too high. Yet the thought of going through his life with no family was more than grim. He liked being with someone special. Natalie, for example. She was great. Sweet and smart and funny and sexy. There was just something about the way she pushed up her glasses that made him want to rip off her clothes every time she did it.
“This is just like track team,” Mathias said as they picked up the pace. “Remember?”
Ronan nodded. He and his brothers had all run track in high school. They’d trained with Nick until he’d graduated. None of them had been state championship material, but they’d been stars at the Fool’s Gold high school and that had been plenty for them.
“We were gods,” Ronan said with a chuckle.
“I was a god,” Nick told him. “You two were wannabes.”
“You wish.” Mathias led them around the final corner as they completed their first lap. “Ronan and I dated twin sisters.”
“Which was a disaster.”
Ronan had to agree with Nick. It hadn’t gone well at all. He and Mathias had decided to ask the sisters out to see what it would be like. Unfortunately, the girls were identical twins and he and Mathias couldn’t ever tell them apart. They were forever mixing them up, which probably made a great summer movie plot but in real life led to hurt feelings and plenty of tears.
“You grabbed my date’s boob,” Ronan reminded Mathias. “What was up with that?”
“I thought she was my date and we’d definitely gone further than that. I don’t know. It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“Not for very long. Cindy and Mindy never forgave us.”
“They probably had a point,” Mathias said. “Maybe we should have called them a few years later. Look at Maya and Del. They were hot and heavy in high school, broke up, then got together ten years later and now they’re married.”
“You want to marry either Cindy or Mindy?”
“No. I have Carol and she’s the one I love. Want me to Google them for you?”
“Thanks, but I’ll pass. I doubt if I could tell them apart any more today than I could back then and that would get me into trouble.” Besides, there was only one woman who interested him these days.
* * *
NATALIE WOKE UP a little after seven to a horrible, heavy cramping sensation low in her belly. For a second she lay in bed wondering what on earth was wrong with her. Then she sat up with a whoop and ran to the bathroom. Seconds later, her happiness was complete and the cramps a delightful reminder that she’d been very, very lucky.
She showered, then got ready for work, all the while profoundly grateful that she hadn’t had to deal with any life-changing pregnancies or births. Just as soon as she got to her desk, she was going to call her doctor and make an appointment to get on birth control. Something easy, like the patch or the shots, would work better for her. She wasn’t sure she was a pill-every-day kind of girl. But either way, she would be on something as soon as possible.
As she walked to her car, she thought about all the decisions she now didn’t have to make. Despite knowing she would have kept and raised the baby on her own, she was happy she didn’t have to. There were no regrets, no might-have-beens. In her heart, she knew she wasn’t ready to be a parent. She still had to make decisions about her life and figure out what she wanted and where she was going. There were so many options right now. If she’d had to make changes, she would have, but she didn’t and yay.
Thank goodness she hadn’t said anything to Ronan. There would have been all kinds of drama and for nothing. Even telling him she wasn’t pregnant wouldn’t have taken their relationship back to where it had been before.
She had a feeling that putting off the pregnancy test wasn’t the lesson she was supposed to learn. That maybe she should be thinking more about taking responsibility for her actions. That the mature decision would have been not to suffer all those days in the first place, that burying her head in the sand, so to speak, wasn’t anything to be proud of.
She started her car engine, then shook her head as she realized that was the lesson. To be responsible—for herself and her body by being on proper birth control when actively sexual, for her mental state by dealing with the problem in the moment and not ignoring it because it was uncomfortable or scary. Which was a lot to deal with so early on a Friday morning, but still something to remember. Next time she would do better, she promised herself.
She drove to the bakery on the way to the office and picked up two dozen donuts. The guys would be done with their first training session and probably starving. She got a couple of scones for Atsuko, then went directly to the gallery. She arrived at the studio and had just finished setting out the donuts when Ronan walked out from the bathroom in back.
He looked good, she thought, her insides quivering at the sight of him. Freshly showered and pumped up from his workout.
“Morning,” she said. “How was it?”
“We ran four miles and did some push-ups and pull-ups. No big deal. Mathias and Nick went home to shower. I used the one here. It’s faster than driving back to my place.”
“Makes sense.” His house was halfway up the mountain. She motioned to the bakery box. “I bought donuts.”
“We’re supposed to be in training.”
She laughed. “Oh, please. It’s a charity event and none of you needs to lose weight. Are you telling me that a little sugar doesn’t sound delicious right now?”
He ran his fingers down the side of her face, then kissed her on the lips. “What kind of sugar are we talking about?”
“The bakery kind. Nothing more. We’re at work.”
“We are, but your place is very close.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Thoughts?”
Ronan laughed. “Fine. So we run, then what?”
“Push-ups and pull-ups until one of us pukes.”
Mathias groaned. “Great. I can’t wait for that.”
They started out at a slow jog. The path around the park was a mile long, meaning they would circle it four times. Ronan knew that jogging outside was more challenging than the run he did on his treadmill at home and he looked forward to pushing himself this morning. No way he was going to be the one to puke first.
“How’s Pallas?” Mathias asked Nick when they’d found their rhythm on the run.
“Feeling better. Just like the doctor said, her hormones are calming down and she’s having more time between the waves of nausea.” He swore, then continued. “I don’t know how she got through it. I was exhausted and all I had to do was try to help. She was the one dealing with physical symptoms. Her mom told her she went through the same thing with her pregnancies.”
Mathias shook his head. “Let me guess. Libby being Libby, she was almost gleeful that Pallas was suffering, as well.”
“You know it. Mothers and daughters are complicated creatures.”
“But Pallas is definitely better?” Mathias asked.
“She is. The doctor is hopeful that once she gets through this stage, she’ll be fine. There’s a chance she could be sick at the end of her pregnancy, when the hormones step up again. We’ll have to see.”
They continued talking about the pregnancy, but Ronan stopped listening. He didn’t want to think about children—not when he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to have any. How could he? The risk was too high. Yet the thought of going through his life with no family was more than grim. He liked being with someone special. Natalie, for example. She was great. Sweet and smart and funny and sexy. There was just something about the way she pushed up her glasses that made him want to rip off her clothes every time she did it.
“This is just like track team,” Mathias said as they picked up the pace. “Remember?”
Ronan nodded. He and his brothers had all run track in high school. They’d trained with Nick until he’d graduated. None of them had been state championship material, but they’d been stars at the Fool’s Gold high school and that had been plenty for them.
“We were gods,” Ronan said with a chuckle.
“I was a god,” Nick told him. “You two were wannabes.”
“You wish.” Mathias led them around the final corner as they completed their first lap. “Ronan and I dated twin sisters.”
“Which was a disaster.”
Ronan had to agree with Nick. It hadn’t gone well at all. He and Mathias had decided to ask the sisters out to see what it would be like. Unfortunately, the girls were identical twins and he and Mathias couldn’t ever tell them apart. They were forever mixing them up, which probably made a great summer movie plot but in real life led to hurt feelings and plenty of tears.
“You grabbed my date’s boob,” Ronan reminded Mathias. “What was up with that?”
“I thought she was my date and we’d definitely gone further than that. I don’t know. It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“Not for very long. Cindy and Mindy never forgave us.”
“They probably had a point,” Mathias said. “Maybe we should have called them a few years later. Look at Maya and Del. They were hot and heavy in high school, broke up, then got together ten years later and now they’re married.”
“You want to marry either Cindy or Mindy?”
“No. I have Carol and she’s the one I love. Want me to Google them for you?”
“Thanks, but I’ll pass. I doubt if I could tell them apart any more today than I could back then and that would get me into trouble.” Besides, there was only one woman who interested him these days.
* * *
NATALIE WOKE UP a little after seven to a horrible, heavy cramping sensation low in her belly. For a second she lay in bed wondering what on earth was wrong with her. Then she sat up with a whoop and ran to the bathroom. Seconds later, her happiness was complete and the cramps a delightful reminder that she’d been very, very lucky.
She showered, then got ready for work, all the while profoundly grateful that she hadn’t had to deal with any life-changing pregnancies or births. Just as soon as she got to her desk, she was going to call her doctor and make an appointment to get on birth control. Something easy, like the patch or the shots, would work better for her. She wasn’t sure she was a pill-every-day kind of girl. But either way, she would be on something as soon as possible.
As she walked to her car, she thought about all the decisions she now didn’t have to make. Despite knowing she would have kept and raised the baby on her own, she was happy she didn’t have to. There were no regrets, no might-have-beens. In her heart, she knew she wasn’t ready to be a parent. She still had to make decisions about her life and figure out what she wanted and where she was going. There were so many options right now. If she’d had to make changes, she would have, but she didn’t and yay.
Thank goodness she hadn’t said anything to Ronan. There would have been all kinds of drama and for nothing. Even telling him she wasn’t pregnant wouldn’t have taken their relationship back to where it had been before.
She had a feeling that putting off the pregnancy test wasn’t the lesson she was supposed to learn. That maybe she should be thinking more about taking responsibility for her actions. That the mature decision would have been not to suffer all those days in the first place, that burying her head in the sand, so to speak, wasn’t anything to be proud of.
She started her car engine, then shook her head as she realized that was the lesson. To be responsible—for herself and her body by being on proper birth control when actively sexual, for her mental state by dealing with the problem in the moment and not ignoring it because it was uncomfortable or scary. Which was a lot to deal with so early on a Friday morning, but still something to remember. Next time she would do better, she promised herself.
She drove to the bakery on the way to the office and picked up two dozen donuts. The guys would be done with their first training session and probably starving. She got a couple of scones for Atsuko, then went directly to the gallery. She arrived at the studio and had just finished setting out the donuts when Ronan walked out from the bathroom in back.
He looked good, she thought, her insides quivering at the sight of him. Freshly showered and pumped up from his workout.
“Morning,” she said. “How was it?”
“We ran four miles and did some push-ups and pull-ups. No big deal. Mathias and Nick went home to shower. I used the one here. It’s faster than driving back to my place.”
“Makes sense.” His house was halfway up the mountain. She motioned to the bakery box. “I bought donuts.”
“We’re supposed to be in training.”
She laughed. “Oh, please. It’s a charity event and none of you needs to lose weight. Are you telling me that a little sugar doesn’t sound delicious right now?”
He ran his fingers down the side of her face, then kissed her on the lips. “What kind of sugar are we talking about?”
“The bakery kind. Nothing more. We’re at work.”
“We are, but your place is very close.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Thoughts?”
