Why Not Tonight
Page 50
Only... Only... Her chest got so tight she couldn’t breathe. Her throat burned as tears filled her eyes. Before she could figure out how to stop them, they spilled onto her cheeks. A sob escaped.
Her work. Her beautiful, amazing piece. It was destroyed. She didn’t have to see it to know.
Strong arms wrapped around her. She leaned into him and let herself cry out her disappointment.
“I’m sorry,” he said again and again. “Dammit, I’m so sorry.”
“I know. It’s o-okay.”
“It’s not. I want to make it better.”
She was sure that was true. She could feel the tension in his body and knew he was hurting almost as much as she was. He would live with the guilt while she would deal with the loss. The piece was gone and there was nothing she could do about that.
She drew back and wiped her face. “I’m going to go home. I need to be alone right now.”
“Can I come with you?”
She looked into his green eyes and saw pain and worry and enough caring that she was able to breathe again.
“I’ll be okay.”
He started to speak, but she shook her head. “Ronan, it’s not your fault. We both know that. I’ll get through this, I swear. I just have to be disappointed for a little while.”
He looked as if she’d kicked him in the gut. Natalie tried to feel bad, but she hurt too much to think past her own pain. She ignored the fallen painting and got her bag from her desk, then headed for her car. When she got home, she quickly changed into yoga pants and a T-shirt, then sank onto her bed, curled up in a ball and began to cry.
* * *
“HOW’S NATALIE?” NICK asked as they ran along the park’s trail. The tournament was coming up faster than Ronan had realized and they were in a rush to get in shape.
“Not good,” Ronan said, thinking about how quiet she’d been when he’d stopped by the previous night. “She says she’s fine, but she’s not.”
“I haven’t seen her since it happened.” Mathias glanced at him, then returned his attention to the trail. “Has she been to work?”
“Just in the office. She hasn’t been back in the studio.”
“It’s not your fault,” Nick told him. “It just happened.”
Something Ronan had told himself about a thousand times, but that didn’t stop the gut-churning guilt that never left. She’d created something wonderful and he’d destroyed it. He’d been the one to pick up the piece after she’d left. The canvas was still intact but the flowers were ruined. Those at the top had been burned down to nothing while those at the bottom were singed, with the middle petals somewhere on the spectrum, depending on their placement.
For a couple of minutes, he’d had the idea that maybe he could fix it or something, but who was he kidding? He didn’t have her gift. Besides, it wasn’t as if what had been lost could be replaced. It was a one-of-a-kind creation and now it was gone.
“So, ah, how’s that volunteer school project?” Mathias asked in an obvious attempt to change the subject. “What are you going to do for your first class?”
He figured the distraction was as much for them as for him. No one liked to think about Natalie suffering.
“I thought I’d go traditional and we’d start with paints. I’m going to work up some templates, show them how to divide their work space. Talk a little about perspective, that kind of thing.”
“Want some help?” Mathias asked. “Sounds like it’s going to be cool. I’d like to go with you.”
“Me, too,” Nick added. “I can wrangle a kid or two. It will be good practice. Plus, I was thinking about the classes. Remember when I used to play around with animation? Maybe I could work up something with that. Break it down into steps. Show the kids how to illustrate the high points of a story. With all the animation software out there these days, the students who are interested could take it to the next step on their own.”
“Thanks.” Ronan cleared his throat. “I appreciate the offer. I welcome any help you want to give.”
They finished their last lap, then walked to the chin-up bar, where they took turns alternately cheering and jeering each other as they finished their workout.
The charity tournament was in a few days. Aidan and Del would be arriving, along with their wives. It was going to be a Mitchell brother reunion.
When Ronan had first found out he’d been committed to the event, he’d felt trapped. Now he was grateful to have time with his brothers. Natalie had dragged him back to the land of the living. Without her, he would still be moody, reclusive and without purpose.
Thinking about her reminded him of what he’d done and how she was still crushed. If only there was a way to make it up to her—but there wasn’t. In his head, he understood it really had been an accident and no one was at fault. In his heart and his gut, he knew he’d hurt Natalie, and how on earth was he supposed to get over that?
* * *
“I’M WHINING,” PALLAS said with a strangled laugh. “You’re welcome to hang up on me if you don’t have time.”
Natalie was alone in her office at the gallery. She’d finished all her work and, were this any other day, she would be eager to get into the studio and get going on whatever project she had planned. But she hadn’t been back to the studio since the accident and going there now seemed impossible.
She shifted her cell phone to her other ear and said, “I would love to listen to you whine. What’s going on?”
Pallas sighed. “Just a bunch of little stuff that makes me insane. The villain T-shirts are printed wrong. They’re going to be replaced, but they’re from a vendor I really trust. Now I wonder if they’re going to screw up other stuff, which isn’t fair, but it’s how I feel. Renee was the one to find the mistakes. Thank goodness she insisted on checking the order. I would have just left the boxes in the storage room, ready to go for the wedding.”
“Are we liking Renee more?”
Pallas laughed. “Yes. I mean, I never didn’t like her. It’s just she’s so perfect. It’s unnerving.”
“What else is going wrong?”
“I can’t for the life of me get the whole, and I’m using air quotes here, icy lair thing right. Renee’s working on it, too, and we’re stymied. Oh, Silver did a midweek wedding at one of the other venues last night and she called to say she thinks she got food poisoning.”
“Oh, no. That’s awful. How is she feeling?”
“She had to go throw up before she could tell me, so I’m guessing not good. And that’s everything here. You’re coming to the dinner on Friday, aren’t you? I’m looking forward to hanging out with everyone.”
With all five brothers in town, a big family dinner had been planned. Ronan had asked Natalie to go with him. “I’m a little nervous about seeing Aidan, Del and their wives again.”
“You’ll do great. They’re so sweet. I got to know Del and Maya last year when I worked on their wedding. I didn’t spend as much time with Aidan and Shelby, but they seemed really nice.” Pallas laughed. “I’ll make sure you and Ronan sit by us. How’s that? Then if you run out of things to say, you can roll your eyes at me.”
Natalie smiled. “It’s a deal.”
Her work. Her beautiful, amazing piece. It was destroyed. She didn’t have to see it to know.
Strong arms wrapped around her. She leaned into him and let herself cry out her disappointment.
“I’m sorry,” he said again and again. “Dammit, I’m so sorry.”
“I know. It’s o-okay.”
“It’s not. I want to make it better.”
She was sure that was true. She could feel the tension in his body and knew he was hurting almost as much as she was. He would live with the guilt while she would deal with the loss. The piece was gone and there was nothing she could do about that.
She drew back and wiped her face. “I’m going to go home. I need to be alone right now.”
“Can I come with you?”
She looked into his green eyes and saw pain and worry and enough caring that she was able to breathe again.
“I’ll be okay.”
He started to speak, but she shook her head. “Ronan, it’s not your fault. We both know that. I’ll get through this, I swear. I just have to be disappointed for a little while.”
He looked as if she’d kicked him in the gut. Natalie tried to feel bad, but she hurt too much to think past her own pain. She ignored the fallen painting and got her bag from her desk, then headed for her car. When she got home, she quickly changed into yoga pants and a T-shirt, then sank onto her bed, curled up in a ball and began to cry.
* * *
“HOW’S NATALIE?” NICK asked as they ran along the park’s trail. The tournament was coming up faster than Ronan had realized and they were in a rush to get in shape.
“Not good,” Ronan said, thinking about how quiet she’d been when he’d stopped by the previous night. “She says she’s fine, but she’s not.”
“I haven’t seen her since it happened.” Mathias glanced at him, then returned his attention to the trail. “Has she been to work?”
“Just in the office. She hasn’t been back in the studio.”
“It’s not your fault,” Nick told him. “It just happened.”
Something Ronan had told himself about a thousand times, but that didn’t stop the gut-churning guilt that never left. She’d created something wonderful and he’d destroyed it. He’d been the one to pick up the piece after she’d left. The canvas was still intact but the flowers were ruined. Those at the top had been burned down to nothing while those at the bottom were singed, with the middle petals somewhere on the spectrum, depending on their placement.
For a couple of minutes, he’d had the idea that maybe he could fix it or something, but who was he kidding? He didn’t have her gift. Besides, it wasn’t as if what had been lost could be replaced. It was a one-of-a-kind creation and now it was gone.
“So, ah, how’s that volunteer school project?” Mathias asked in an obvious attempt to change the subject. “What are you going to do for your first class?”
He figured the distraction was as much for them as for him. No one liked to think about Natalie suffering.
“I thought I’d go traditional and we’d start with paints. I’m going to work up some templates, show them how to divide their work space. Talk a little about perspective, that kind of thing.”
“Want some help?” Mathias asked. “Sounds like it’s going to be cool. I’d like to go with you.”
“Me, too,” Nick added. “I can wrangle a kid or two. It will be good practice. Plus, I was thinking about the classes. Remember when I used to play around with animation? Maybe I could work up something with that. Break it down into steps. Show the kids how to illustrate the high points of a story. With all the animation software out there these days, the students who are interested could take it to the next step on their own.”
“Thanks.” Ronan cleared his throat. “I appreciate the offer. I welcome any help you want to give.”
They finished their last lap, then walked to the chin-up bar, where they took turns alternately cheering and jeering each other as they finished their workout.
The charity tournament was in a few days. Aidan and Del would be arriving, along with their wives. It was going to be a Mitchell brother reunion.
When Ronan had first found out he’d been committed to the event, he’d felt trapped. Now he was grateful to have time with his brothers. Natalie had dragged him back to the land of the living. Without her, he would still be moody, reclusive and without purpose.
Thinking about her reminded him of what he’d done and how she was still crushed. If only there was a way to make it up to her—but there wasn’t. In his head, he understood it really had been an accident and no one was at fault. In his heart and his gut, he knew he’d hurt Natalie, and how on earth was he supposed to get over that?
* * *
“I’M WHINING,” PALLAS said with a strangled laugh. “You’re welcome to hang up on me if you don’t have time.”
Natalie was alone in her office at the gallery. She’d finished all her work and, were this any other day, she would be eager to get into the studio and get going on whatever project she had planned. But she hadn’t been back to the studio since the accident and going there now seemed impossible.
She shifted her cell phone to her other ear and said, “I would love to listen to you whine. What’s going on?”
Pallas sighed. “Just a bunch of little stuff that makes me insane. The villain T-shirts are printed wrong. They’re going to be replaced, but they’re from a vendor I really trust. Now I wonder if they’re going to screw up other stuff, which isn’t fair, but it’s how I feel. Renee was the one to find the mistakes. Thank goodness she insisted on checking the order. I would have just left the boxes in the storage room, ready to go for the wedding.”
“Are we liking Renee more?”
Pallas laughed. “Yes. I mean, I never didn’t like her. It’s just she’s so perfect. It’s unnerving.”
“What else is going wrong?”
“I can’t for the life of me get the whole, and I’m using air quotes here, icy lair thing right. Renee’s working on it, too, and we’re stymied. Oh, Silver did a midweek wedding at one of the other venues last night and she called to say she thinks she got food poisoning.”
“Oh, no. That’s awful. How is she feeling?”
“She had to go throw up before she could tell me, so I’m guessing not good. And that’s everything here. You’re coming to the dinner on Friday, aren’t you? I’m looking forward to hanging out with everyone.”
With all five brothers in town, a big family dinner had been planned. Ronan had asked Natalie to go with him. “I’m a little nervous about seeing Aidan, Del and their wives again.”
“You’ll do great. They’re so sweet. I got to know Del and Maya last year when I worked on their wedding. I didn’t spend as much time with Aidan and Shelby, but they seemed really nice.” Pallas laughed. “I’ll make sure you and Ronan sit by us. How’s that? Then if you run out of things to say, you can roll your eyes at me.”
Natalie smiled. “It’s a deal.”
