Wicked Cravings
Page 35
“There’s another thing that you need to be prepared for, Jaime. As much as you’re confident that you can control your wolf, we both know you’ll have doubts lurking. These doubts will distract you. And if you feel your wolf strongly fighting to surface, you’ll become a little spooked. You can’t afford to do that.”
She didn’t bother denying any of that. “Okay, so tell me how to get over my fear.” Dante looked at her incredulously. “Why would I do that? Fear is a basic survival mechanism.
It helps you stay alive. It’s an automatic response that dumps adrenaline into the bloodstream, which helps us.”
Jaime’s face scrunched up. “Sweating like crazy, having your heart race, and shaking like a shitting dog helps us?”
Dante chuckled. “No, but adrenaline will help with increasing your speed and strength and increasing your tolerance for pain. The time it becomes a problem is when you let that fear become something else—panic. Once you begin to panic, your ability to think rationally often goes out of the window.”
“Right. So how do I do that?”
“Acknowledge what fear actually is—it’s just your brain communicating to your body that it senses danger. Accept fear for what it is, and work with it. That’s when its power disappears.”
“Accept it as a chemical reaction that’s there to help me.”
“Yes, because if you don’t, if you let it control you, then you’re, to put it bluntly, f**ked. You can be killed. And that’s not acceptable to me. Yes, you’ve kept your wolf under control during training, but sparring with me is very different from what you’ll be facing in reality.”
“I know, I know,” said Jaime flatly. “I won’t be in a safe environment fighting one of my pack, I get it.”
“No, I’m not sure that you do. Glory won’t want a fight, Jaime. Her objective will be to kill you as quickly as possible, particularly since you’ve overpowered her once before. I very much doubt that she’ll shift, because she knows how dominant your wolf is. She’ll come at you so swiftly you might not see it coming. She won’t want to give you a chance to use any of your moves on her.
Even if you manage to land a lot of good blows, that won’t be all it takes. She will have moves of her own. She’s been in countless fights before. She’ll be used to being hurt and ignoring the pain to carry on.”
“I don’t think she’ll stop until one of us is dead,” she said quietly.
He repeatedly clenched his fists. “Neither do I. This is why it’s imperative that you’re able to switch quickly from one mind-set to another—namely, that you can be prepared to kill. That kind of thing isn’t easy. Throughout your entire life, you’ve had morals instilled in you. You have a conscience that interferes in every choice you make. It’s similar to brainwashing, in a sense. None of that can matter, Jaime. Even in the context of self-defense, you still can’t fully justify killing a person to your conscience. It is what it is. You need to be able to accept that rather than make excuses for it.”
“Like you?”
“Like all the enforcers, but yes, like me. I have a very fierce sense of right and wrong, but when it comes to defending or protecting this pack, I’ll cross over any lines I wouldn’t otherwise cross. You need to be able to do the same. It doesn’t mean you have to stop being a good person and that you have to harden. But like it or not, it will change you in some ways. You can still be the person you are now, but with an ability to cross right over any ethical lines when you need to. When you’re involved in a fight with Glory, you will need to. So, can you do that?”
“I can do it.” Jaime set her jaw.
“I don’t know how long it will be before Glory finally appears again, but I think we can be pretty sure that she will. So until then your training won’t involve exercises or practicing. I’m going to be asking you to do something much harder than that. From now on, there’ll be no more sparring.
There’ll only be attacks. Not just with me, but with the guys, too.” Jaime smiled evilly. “Good.”
“You might be thinking that this will be fun, but believe me when I say that they won’t go easy on you. They will hurt you, and they will continue until you either yield or pass out, unless you can give as good as you get. You can’t afford to care that these are your packmates. You can’t afford to care that hurting them will be hard. In fact, hurting people close to you would pain you ten times more than hurting Glory. You do everything I taught you—you fight dirty, you cheat, you make them bleed.
They’ll do exactly the same to you, as will I. Are you ready for this?” After a few moments, she finally replied in a strong voice. “I’m ready.” Jaime had done better than Dante ever would have imagined. He was pretty sure the guys were just as surprised. While Jaime was hesitant and awkward during her first fight, Marcus hadn’t held back at all. She had therefore learned the hard way what happened when she let her feelings distract her. After that, she had been merciless. She hadn’t said one word at any point, as if she had taken herself into some sort of zone where the only thing that mattered was survival—and that was exactly what Dante had been hoping for.
He had purposely left Dominic until last, knowing how close he and Jaime were—something Dante would never be happy about. Although there had been the briefest flicker of unease in her expression, it had quickly disappeared, and Jaime had fought just as dirtily as she had with Marcus, Trick, Ryan, and Tao. As expected, Tao got it the worst. The second it was all over, the enforcers enveloped her in a hug. Not a comforting act, but a show of respect.
Trey, who stood a short distance away and had observed the entire thing, looked truly impressed with Jaime. While the enforcers were still fussing over her—all of them tended to joke with her as if she was one of the guys—Trey approached Dante. “You did good with her.”
“I can’t take all the credit. She worked hard. She only tried to kill me twice.”
“She’d make a good enforcer. But…I think she’d make an even better Beta female.” Dante’s gaze shot to his. “What are you saying?”
“Just that I’m no longer so troubled about her staying. I admire anyone who shows that much strength and determination. And she puts you first. You don’t put yourself first to anything. You’ve been too focused on your role as Beta—you deserve to have something of your own too, and I know you want to imprint on her. Although you don’t need my approval or blessing, you have it.” With that, Trey turned and walked away.
That had been a surprise. Trey was right, Dante wouldn’t have sought his approval, but he was glad to have it. Now all he needed was Jaime’s approval. Dante swerved his head to see the female in question— his female—jogging over to him, smiling. She was bruised and covered in scratches and bumps. If he hadn’t known they would heal in a matter of hours, he would have freaked.
“My wolf’s feeling really smug right now.”
He returned her smile and pulled her to him. “I’ll bet.”
In response to the strange look on his face and the strain in his voice, she cocked her head.
“You okay?”
He kissed a spot on her forehead that wasn’t smeared with blood. “More than okay. I’m proud of you.” But I have no idea how to tell you I want to imprint on you without scaring you off.
“Good. Let’s go take a shower.”
Dante told himself, as he walked hand in hand with her back to the caves, that he would talk to her about it in their room. Unfortunately, the words didn’t come out. He wasn’t scared of the commitment that would come with it. As far as he was concerned, she was it for him whether they were bonded or not. But he was still worried that she would leave before she agreed to imprinting.
Losing her wasn’t something he could allow.
Still, he was resolute that they would talk about it. He’d been silent about it for long enough, and he wouldn’t last much longer before it burst out of him anyway. If she said she didn’t want it, he could simply agree that things remain as they were. Then, naturally, he’d do his best to wear her down over time.
He told himself that he’d bring it up when they were in the shower. Yeah, he’d f**k her with his tongue until she was on the verge of an orgasm, and then he’d stop and tell her. But that didn’t quite work out because, once again, he chickened out. He’d tell her before they left to go to lunch, he promised himself. Preferably while she was na**d, because then she couldn’t run out on him.
However, not only did he become terribly distracted by her na**d body and mischievous smile, but she chose that moment to get on her knees and suck him off. So, yeah, his wits were a little too scattered for him to have any kind of conversation right then.
After that, they’d been caught up with Beta stuff—that was the excuse he was sticking to anyway. Before he knew it, they were seated at the long dining table having their evening meal and he still hadn’t told her.
“Now you’re just being selfish,” Dominic said to Jaime, shaking his head. “You have that body for the rest of your life. I only want it for one night.” Not in the mood to hear his packmate making moves—no matter how playful—on the female he intended to claim, Dante growled. “Dominic, no. Not to Jaime.”
“But—”
“No.”
Dominic sighed in resignation. “Okay, fine.”
Noticing that Trey seemed to find the whole thing extremely amusing, Dante raised a brow at him. “It’s funny now that he’s not saying this shit to Taryn?” Trey smiled. “Of course.”
“I’ve always got some stored up for my gorgeous Alpha female,” said Dominic with an impish grin.
Instantly Trey’s smile fell from his face. “Dom, don’t do it.” Dominic held his hands up, pleading innocence. “I was just going to ask her if she went to Boy Scouts…because she has my heart all tied in knots.”
Taryn groaned and chuckled at the same time. But then she gasped loudly and everybody froze.
“I think my water just broke. Yep. My water just broke.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Watching Trey pace up and down anxiously outside the examination room, Jaime couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. Still, she wasn’t budging. She, Dante, and the enforcers had been charged with guarding the door and ensuring that Trey didn’t get through. After he’d lost his temper four times with Grace, as if it was solely her fault that the baby wasn’t yet out, Taryn had insisted that he wait outside until she was fully dilated. If the sounds she was making were anything to go by, she wasn’t far off.
“I should be in there with her.”
“She’s not alone,” said Jaime. “Shaya will help keep her calm. Grace and Lydia have delivered lots of babies, so they know what they’re doing.”
“That’s not the point. I’m her mate. I should be in there.”
“As soon as it’s looking like the baby’s ready to come out, Grace will come get you.” Dante patted his back once as he passed. “Don’t worry. Taryn would never let you miss this.”
“I can feel how much pain she’s in—well, I can feel a hint of it, which is bad enough, and I take back that I said getting kicked in the balls was worse than childbirth. She’s also feeling woozy.
Drunk.”
Jaime smiled. “That’ll be the gas and air.”
Suddenly he grimaced and paled. “The contractions are getting real strong. I hate that I can’t help.”
“Trey! ”
At the sound of Taryn’s screech, he struggled to pass Jaime, Dante, and the enforcers.
“Trey, you bastard! ”
Instantly the guy stilled.
Jaime gave him a pitying smile. “Yeah, you really don’t want to go in there yet.” She had been around shifters in labor before, and she knew exactly how colorful the air could become, and just how easily the females could turn on their mates.
He straightened, as if steeling himself, and knocked loudly on the door.
“Not yet, Trey,” Shaya called from inside the room.
“Let me in, Shaya. I want to be with her.”
“Yeah, let the bastard in so I can break his nose and shove it up his—”
“Okay, Taryn, I’ll let him in.” Shaya only opened the door a crack, and Trey pushed his way inside, shutting the door behind him. His mate slung a string of profanities at him that had everybody’s lips twitching. Jaime didn’t move from her place near the closed door, determined to be one of the first to see the baby when someone finally allowed them in. Dante and the enforcers must have been thinking the same thing, because none of them moved either.
Half an hour and a lot of cursing, growls, and cries later, they heard Taryn declare, “I can’t do this! Just leave her in there. She’ll be fine.”
“You’re doing really well,” Lydia assured her.
“No, I’m done! I’m tired, I’m sweaty, I’m in agony, and why do I feel like I need to shit?”
“It’s totally natural to feel that way,” said Grace in a placatory, calming voice. “Some women even have one during labor.”
“What?” The word dripped with horror. “Women can shit when they’re in labor? Tell me that won’t happen to me! Don’t you let me shit, Grace!” A loud, lengthy cry signaled that she was having another contraction.
Trey’s voice was soft and encouraging. “Just breathe, baby.”
She didn’t bother denying any of that. “Okay, so tell me how to get over my fear.” Dante looked at her incredulously. “Why would I do that? Fear is a basic survival mechanism.
It helps you stay alive. It’s an automatic response that dumps adrenaline into the bloodstream, which helps us.”
Jaime’s face scrunched up. “Sweating like crazy, having your heart race, and shaking like a shitting dog helps us?”
Dante chuckled. “No, but adrenaline will help with increasing your speed and strength and increasing your tolerance for pain. The time it becomes a problem is when you let that fear become something else—panic. Once you begin to panic, your ability to think rationally often goes out of the window.”
“Right. So how do I do that?”
“Acknowledge what fear actually is—it’s just your brain communicating to your body that it senses danger. Accept fear for what it is, and work with it. That’s when its power disappears.”
“Accept it as a chemical reaction that’s there to help me.”
“Yes, because if you don’t, if you let it control you, then you’re, to put it bluntly, f**ked. You can be killed. And that’s not acceptable to me. Yes, you’ve kept your wolf under control during training, but sparring with me is very different from what you’ll be facing in reality.”
“I know, I know,” said Jaime flatly. “I won’t be in a safe environment fighting one of my pack, I get it.”
“No, I’m not sure that you do. Glory won’t want a fight, Jaime. Her objective will be to kill you as quickly as possible, particularly since you’ve overpowered her once before. I very much doubt that she’ll shift, because she knows how dominant your wolf is. She’ll come at you so swiftly you might not see it coming. She won’t want to give you a chance to use any of your moves on her.
Even if you manage to land a lot of good blows, that won’t be all it takes. She will have moves of her own. She’s been in countless fights before. She’ll be used to being hurt and ignoring the pain to carry on.”
“I don’t think she’ll stop until one of us is dead,” she said quietly.
He repeatedly clenched his fists. “Neither do I. This is why it’s imperative that you’re able to switch quickly from one mind-set to another—namely, that you can be prepared to kill. That kind of thing isn’t easy. Throughout your entire life, you’ve had morals instilled in you. You have a conscience that interferes in every choice you make. It’s similar to brainwashing, in a sense. None of that can matter, Jaime. Even in the context of self-defense, you still can’t fully justify killing a person to your conscience. It is what it is. You need to be able to accept that rather than make excuses for it.”
“Like you?”
“Like all the enforcers, but yes, like me. I have a very fierce sense of right and wrong, but when it comes to defending or protecting this pack, I’ll cross over any lines I wouldn’t otherwise cross. You need to be able to do the same. It doesn’t mean you have to stop being a good person and that you have to harden. But like it or not, it will change you in some ways. You can still be the person you are now, but with an ability to cross right over any ethical lines when you need to. When you’re involved in a fight with Glory, you will need to. So, can you do that?”
“I can do it.” Jaime set her jaw.
“I don’t know how long it will be before Glory finally appears again, but I think we can be pretty sure that she will. So until then your training won’t involve exercises or practicing. I’m going to be asking you to do something much harder than that. From now on, there’ll be no more sparring.
There’ll only be attacks. Not just with me, but with the guys, too.” Jaime smiled evilly. “Good.”
“You might be thinking that this will be fun, but believe me when I say that they won’t go easy on you. They will hurt you, and they will continue until you either yield or pass out, unless you can give as good as you get. You can’t afford to care that these are your packmates. You can’t afford to care that hurting them will be hard. In fact, hurting people close to you would pain you ten times more than hurting Glory. You do everything I taught you—you fight dirty, you cheat, you make them bleed.
They’ll do exactly the same to you, as will I. Are you ready for this?” After a few moments, she finally replied in a strong voice. “I’m ready.” Jaime had done better than Dante ever would have imagined. He was pretty sure the guys were just as surprised. While Jaime was hesitant and awkward during her first fight, Marcus hadn’t held back at all. She had therefore learned the hard way what happened when she let her feelings distract her. After that, she had been merciless. She hadn’t said one word at any point, as if she had taken herself into some sort of zone where the only thing that mattered was survival—and that was exactly what Dante had been hoping for.
He had purposely left Dominic until last, knowing how close he and Jaime were—something Dante would never be happy about. Although there had been the briefest flicker of unease in her expression, it had quickly disappeared, and Jaime had fought just as dirtily as she had with Marcus, Trick, Ryan, and Tao. As expected, Tao got it the worst. The second it was all over, the enforcers enveloped her in a hug. Not a comforting act, but a show of respect.
Trey, who stood a short distance away and had observed the entire thing, looked truly impressed with Jaime. While the enforcers were still fussing over her—all of them tended to joke with her as if she was one of the guys—Trey approached Dante. “You did good with her.”
“I can’t take all the credit. She worked hard. She only tried to kill me twice.”
“She’d make a good enforcer. But…I think she’d make an even better Beta female.” Dante’s gaze shot to his. “What are you saying?”
“Just that I’m no longer so troubled about her staying. I admire anyone who shows that much strength and determination. And she puts you first. You don’t put yourself first to anything. You’ve been too focused on your role as Beta—you deserve to have something of your own too, and I know you want to imprint on her. Although you don’t need my approval or blessing, you have it.” With that, Trey turned and walked away.
That had been a surprise. Trey was right, Dante wouldn’t have sought his approval, but he was glad to have it. Now all he needed was Jaime’s approval. Dante swerved his head to see the female in question— his female—jogging over to him, smiling. She was bruised and covered in scratches and bumps. If he hadn’t known they would heal in a matter of hours, he would have freaked.
“My wolf’s feeling really smug right now.”
He returned her smile and pulled her to him. “I’ll bet.”
In response to the strange look on his face and the strain in his voice, she cocked her head.
“You okay?”
He kissed a spot on her forehead that wasn’t smeared with blood. “More than okay. I’m proud of you.” But I have no idea how to tell you I want to imprint on you without scaring you off.
“Good. Let’s go take a shower.”
Dante told himself, as he walked hand in hand with her back to the caves, that he would talk to her about it in their room. Unfortunately, the words didn’t come out. He wasn’t scared of the commitment that would come with it. As far as he was concerned, she was it for him whether they were bonded or not. But he was still worried that she would leave before she agreed to imprinting.
Losing her wasn’t something he could allow.
Still, he was resolute that they would talk about it. He’d been silent about it for long enough, and he wouldn’t last much longer before it burst out of him anyway. If she said she didn’t want it, he could simply agree that things remain as they were. Then, naturally, he’d do his best to wear her down over time.
He told himself that he’d bring it up when they were in the shower. Yeah, he’d f**k her with his tongue until she was on the verge of an orgasm, and then he’d stop and tell her. But that didn’t quite work out because, once again, he chickened out. He’d tell her before they left to go to lunch, he promised himself. Preferably while she was na**d, because then she couldn’t run out on him.
However, not only did he become terribly distracted by her na**d body and mischievous smile, but she chose that moment to get on her knees and suck him off. So, yeah, his wits were a little too scattered for him to have any kind of conversation right then.
After that, they’d been caught up with Beta stuff—that was the excuse he was sticking to anyway. Before he knew it, they were seated at the long dining table having their evening meal and he still hadn’t told her.
“Now you’re just being selfish,” Dominic said to Jaime, shaking his head. “You have that body for the rest of your life. I only want it for one night.” Not in the mood to hear his packmate making moves—no matter how playful—on the female he intended to claim, Dante growled. “Dominic, no. Not to Jaime.”
“But—”
“No.”
Dominic sighed in resignation. “Okay, fine.”
Noticing that Trey seemed to find the whole thing extremely amusing, Dante raised a brow at him. “It’s funny now that he’s not saying this shit to Taryn?” Trey smiled. “Of course.”
“I’ve always got some stored up for my gorgeous Alpha female,” said Dominic with an impish grin.
Instantly Trey’s smile fell from his face. “Dom, don’t do it.” Dominic held his hands up, pleading innocence. “I was just going to ask her if she went to Boy Scouts…because she has my heart all tied in knots.”
Taryn groaned and chuckled at the same time. But then she gasped loudly and everybody froze.
“I think my water just broke. Yep. My water just broke.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Watching Trey pace up and down anxiously outside the examination room, Jaime couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. Still, she wasn’t budging. She, Dante, and the enforcers had been charged with guarding the door and ensuring that Trey didn’t get through. After he’d lost his temper four times with Grace, as if it was solely her fault that the baby wasn’t yet out, Taryn had insisted that he wait outside until she was fully dilated. If the sounds she was making were anything to go by, she wasn’t far off.
“I should be in there with her.”
“She’s not alone,” said Jaime. “Shaya will help keep her calm. Grace and Lydia have delivered lots of babies, so they know what they’re doing.”
“That’s not the point. I’m her mate. I should be in there.”
“As soon as it’s looking like the baby’s ready to come out, Grace will come get you.” Dante patted his back once as he passed. “Don’t worry. Taryn would never let you miss this.”
“I can feel how much pain she’s in—well, I can feel a hint of it, which is bad enough, and I take back that I said getting kicked in the balls was worse than childbirth. She’s also feeling woozy.
Drunk.”
Jaime smiled. “That’ll be the gas and air.”
Suddenly he grimaced and paled. “The contractions are getting real strong. I hate that I can’t help.”
“Trey! ”
At the sound of Taryn’s screech, he struggled to pass Jaime, Dante, and the enforcers.
“Trey, you bastard! ”
Instantly the guy stilled.
Jaime gave him a pitying smile. “Yeah, you really don’t want to go in there yet.” She had been around shifters in labor before, and she knew exactly how colorful the air could become, and just how easily the females could turn on their mates.
He straightened, as if steeling himself, and knocked loudly on the door.
“Not yet, Trey,” Shaya called from inside the room.
“Let me in, Shaya. I want to be with her.”
“Yeah, let the bastard in so I can break his nose and shove it up his—”
“Okay, Taryn, I’ll let him in.” Shaya only opened the door a crack, and Trey pushed his way inside, shutting the door behind him. His mate slung a string of profanities at him that had everybody’s lips twitching. Jaime didn’t move from her place near the closed door, determined to be one of the first to see the baby when someone finally allowed them in. Dante and the enforcers must have been thinking the same thing, because none of them moved either.
Half an hour and a lot of cursing, growls, and cries later, they heard Taryn declare, “I can’t do this! Just leave her in there. She’ll be fine.”
“You’re doing really well,” Lydia assured her.
“No, I’m done! I’m tired, I’m sweaty, I’m in agony, and why do I feel like I need to shit?”
“It’s totally natural to feel that way,” said Grace in a placatory, calming voice. “Some women even have one during labor.”
“What?” The word dripped with horror. “Women can shit when they’re in labor? Tell me that won’t happen to me! Don’t you let me shit, Grace!” A loud, lengthy cry signaled that she was having another contraction.
Trey’s voice was soft and encouraging. “Just breathe, baby.”
