Wicked Kiss
Page 28
My grip on the railing tightened painfully as a group of teens moved past, way too close, the scent of their souls brushing into my orbit of hunger.
“So here we are,” Stephen said.
“That’s close enough,” I said when he got four feet away.
He stopped. “I’m not planning to hurt you. I’m not the one who carries around a sharp golden dagger, remember?”
“No, you’re the one who helped my aunt nearly kill me.”
“I don’t think she would have killed you.” There were dark shadows under his eyes, which made it look as if he hadn’t slept in days. I’d noticed the same circles under my eyes this morning, thanks to my nightmare-induced tossing and turning. “Besides, she’s gone.”
A stomach-churning image of the Hollow grabbing hold of my aunt after Carly had stabbed her with Bishop’s dagger flashed through my mind. “Are you upset about that?”
He gave me a grim look. “No.”
I didn’t want to take my attention off him in case he disappeared in a puff of smoke. This is what I’d wanted. I’d searched the city for him for a week and now he was standing right in front of me. “I don’t want to talk about my aunt, Stephen. I’m here for one reason and one reason only.”
“Your soul.”
“And Carly’s. Give them back to me.”
He looked down at the food court, his jaw tight. “Look at all of them. It’s hard to believe they have no idea what’s happening in Trinity right now. Right in front of their eyes. Humans.” He said it with barely contained disgust.
He was trying to change the subject. I had to stay calm and not make any huge demands. He had all the power here, but I didn’t want him to know that. “You’re human.”
“I was.”
“Now you think you’re more than that?”
He didn’t answer my question. His gaze flicked to me. “You were already more than human before this.”
I tried not to grimace. He knew I was a nexus, thanks to Natalie. My little secret that nobody was supposed to know. “Other than the hunger, I don’t feel any different than before.”
Stephen studied my face, as if searching for some clue there. “You will.”
I still gripped the railing as if it was the only thing keeping me from tumbling over. “No, I won’t.”
He shook his head. “Things are changing...ever since Natalie’s been gone.”
“Is this another recruitment speech or a warning?”
He snorted a little, and I could have sworn he looked a bit nauseous.
I frowned. “Are you all right?”
That earned me another dry laugh. “Do you really care about my well-being, Samantha?”
My hands were sweating as I forced myself to stay calm and not start shrieking demands. “You wanted to talk to me. So talk. What’s changing?”
He kept his eyes forward, not looking directly at me. “It wasn’t like this when Natalie was still around.”
“What?”
“It starts with the cold. Like...worse than normal. Worse than the cold we feel from not having a soul. And the hunger...” His expression tightened. “You can’t ignore it even if you try. It’s there...a constant need that doesn’t leave for a second, driving you to feed from someone...anyone. And it doesn’t get satisfied when you give in to it...it—it just gets worse.”
I think I stopped breathing. This wasn’t what I’d expected him to say—not at all. “What are you talking about?”
He swallowed, and when his gaze met mine I swear I saw fear there. “Stasis.”
I shook my head. “What’s stasis?”
When he wrenched his gaze from the food court to look at me again, there was something in his eyes that scared me. Something bleak and defeated.
Stephen was afraid.
This realization chilled me right down to my bones.
“Feeding—kissing someone—it makes you feel better for a little while. But...it doesn’t stop what’s going to happen. We’re changing, Samantha. You will, too. We lose our minds, our control. Everything.”
I started to tremble. He was talking about the zombie grays. “But—but that’s what happens to the grays that feed too much. Natalie warned us to control ourselves or we’ll end up like that. But if we don’t feed, it won’t happen. Right?”
“It’s different now. She didn’t know. We go into that state and...then we come back out again. That mindlessness, it’s only the beginning.” He didn’t say it like it was a good thing.
I stared at him, trying to understand, but then with a sickening feeling it all clicked into place for me. “Oh, God. The gray from last night...”
“What?”
“He was different.” My words were barely audible. I tensed up as more people closely brushed past us. “He—he was stronger, more powerful, and...and evil. Like, he had no...” I gritted my teeth before I managed to continue. “Like he had no soul.”
Stephen didn’t mock me and tell me this was a stupid thing to say—that of course a gray had no soul. Instead, his expression only grew more grave. “That’s right. Any morals, any compassion we have left—after stasis, it’s gone. Stripped. Soulless, completely and totally.”
I took this in and worked the disturbing information over in my head. “I thought you were already like that.”
“So here we are,” Stephen said.
“That’s close enough,” I said when he got four feet away.
He stopped. “I’m not planning to hurt you. I’m not the one who carries around a sharp golden dagger, remember?”
“No, you’re the one who helped my aunt nearly kill me.”
“I don’t think she would have killed you.” There were dark shadows under his eyes, which made it look as if he hadn’t slept in days. I’d noticed the same circles under my eyes this morning, thanks to my nightmare-induced tossing and turning. “Besides, she’s gone.”
A stomach-churning image of the Hollow grabbing hold of my aunt after Carly had stabbed her with Bishop’s dagger flashed through my mind. “Are you upset about that?”
He gave me a grim look. “No.”
I didn’t want to take my attention off him in case he disappeared in a puff of smoke. This is what I’d wanted. I’d searched the city for him for a week and now he was standing right in front of me. “I don’t want to talk about my aunt, Stephen. I’m here for one reason and one reason only.”
“Your soul.”
“And Carly’s. Give them back to me.”
He looked down at the food court, his jaw tight. “Look at all of them. It’s hard to believe they have no idea what’s happening in Trinity right now. Right in front of their eyes. Humans.” He said it with barely contained disgust.
He was trying to change the subject. I had to stay calm and not make any huge demands. He had all the power here, but I didn’t want him to know that. “You’re human.”
“I was.”
“Now you think you’re more than that?”
He didn’t answer my question. His gaze flicked to me. “You were already more than human before this.”
I tried not to grimace. He knew I was a nexus, thanks to Natalie. My little secret that nobody was supposed to know. “Other than the hunger, I don’t feel any different than before.”
Stephen studied my face, as if searching for some clue there. “You will.”
I still gripped the railing as if it was the only thing keeping me from tumbling over. “No, I won’t.”
He shook his head. “Things are changing...ever since Natalie’s been gone.”
“Is this another recruitment speech or a warning?”
He snorted a little, and I could have sworn he looked a bit nauseous.
I frowned. “Are you all right?”
That earned me another dry laugh. “Do you really care about my well-being, Samantha?”
My hands were sweating as I forced myself to stay calm and not start shrieking demands. “You wanted to talk to me. So talk. What’s changing?”
He kept his eyes forward, not looking directly at me. “It wasn’t like this when Natalie was still around.”
“What?”
“It starts with the cold. Like...worse than normal. Worse than the cold we feel from not having a soul. And the hunger...” His expression tightened. “You can’t ignore it even if you try. It’s there...a constant need that doesn’t leave for a second, driving you to feed from someone...anyone. And it doesn’t get satisfied when you give in to it...it—it just gets worse.”
I think I stopped breathing. This wasn’t what I’d expected him to say—not at all. “What are you talking about?”
He swallowed, and when his gaze met mine I swear I saw fear there. “Stasis.”
I shook my head. “What’s stasis?”
When he wrenched his gaze from the food court to look at me again, there was something in his eyes that scared me. Something bleak and defeated.
Stephen was afraid.
This realization chilled me right down to my bones.
“Feeding—kissing someone—it makes you feel better for a little while. But...it doesn’t stop what’s going to happen. We’re changing, Samantha. You will, too. We lose our minds, our control. Everything.”
I started to tremble. He was talking about the zombie grays. “But—but that’s what happens to the grays that feed too much. Natalie warned us to control ourselves or we’ll end up like that. But if we don’t feed, it won’t happen. Right?”
“It’s different now. She didn’t know. We go into that state and...then we come back out again. That mindlessness, it’s only the beginning.” He didn’t say it like it was a good thing.
I stared at him, trying to understand, but then with a sickening feeling it all clicked into place for me. “Oh, God. The gray from last night...”
“What?”
“He was different.” My words were barely audible. I tensed up as more people closely brushed past us. “He—he was stronger, more powerful, and...and evil. Like, he had no...” I gritted my teeth before I managed to continue. “Like he had no soul.”
Stephen didn’t mock me and tell me this was a stupid thing to say—that of course a gray had no soul. Instead, his expression only grew more grave. “That’s right. Any morals, any compassion we have left—after stasis, it’s gone. Stripped. Soulless, completely and totally.”
I took this in and worked the disturbing information over in my head. “I thought you were already like that.”
