Wild Man
Page 40
This made Rex and Joel emit boy snickers and Cob to mutter, “I’ll try, Slim, but it’ll be hard.”
“Jesus,” Brock muttered back then I felt him take a swig of his beer.
I went back to piping but I did it smiling.
* * * * *
“Here you go, Cob,” I said softly, handing Brock’s father a fresh beer.
Dinner (and cake) consumed, visit with Gramps (and Dad) over, Brock was off taking the boys back to Olivia and her husband Dade’s house and I was hanging out with his Dad at his place.
Why Cob was still there, I wasn’t sure. I was still there because I was spending the night.
I curled in the seat across the sectional from him with my peppermint tea and tried not to be obvious as I studied him while he studied the fire Brock built.
When silence stretched as we sipped at our beverages and Cob’s look went from reflective to dark, I whispered, “Hey,” and his eyes came to me. “You okay?” I asked quietly.
Cob didn’t delay in letting me know what was on his mind.
“When he was datin’ her, I felt joy,” Cob stated and I stared at him. “We weren’t close, still aren’t close, but I was around. Looks like that and sugar sweet,” he muttered then went on to say, “Turns out saccharine.”
Oh man.
He was talking about Olivia.
His eyes got intense and he said softly, “Not my place, lost that place and I ‘spect you know it but I’m gonna say it anyway and I hope you know I got my son’s best interests at heart but, like Olivia, you are far from hard on the eyes and, like Olivia, you’re sugar sweet and I need you now, Tess, to promise me what’s under all that frosting,” he jerked his chin at me, “tastes just as sweet.”
I felt my heart melt at a question from a man who was facing sickness, pain and possible death and wanted to face it knowing his son had good things in his life and I whispered,
“What you see is what you get with me, Cob, I promise.”
He studied me, nodded then looked back at the fire.
Then he said to the fire, “Jill told me you’re a survivor.”
This unexpected blow caused me to pull in breath, close my eyes and look away. I opened them when he spoke again to see he was looking at me.
“My girls and me, always close. Always been better with females than males, ‘cept Fern but that’s because I been a jackass for forty-odd years. I don’t know where Slim stands but far’s Jill’s concerned, it’s all in the family and what I want you to know is, where I stand, that’s the God’s honest truth.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“A man hurt you?” he asked.
“Yes,” I answered.
He stared at me and he did it long and he did it hard then I watched with some shock and a lot of other, stronger feelings as his eyes went bright.
Then he asked in a quiet, thick voice, “What possessed him?”
“I don’t know,” I answered in a quiet, thick voice.
“He pay?”
I shook my head.
To this he murmured, “Sweetheart.”
“There are lots of different ways to survive, Cob,” I defended softly.
“Well, honey, you stick with however you’re doin’ it. No judgment here. You get me?”
I nodded.
He pulled in a soft breath.
Then he shared, “Wish my boy Levi’d find a woman like you, makes him look like Slim looks when he looks at you, makes him feel however Slim feels that makes him get close to you anytime you’re even a little near, like any moment a lion’s gonna come roarin’ into the room and he’s gotta be close enough to come between you and it so he can keep you safe.
Can die knowin’ my Laurie and Jill got men like that at home, can die knowin’ Slim feels like that about a woman, wish I was dyin’ knowin’ that was warmin’ Levi’s bed at night.”
His words warmed my heart, settled in my soul and made that tight, coiled snake of poison in my belly shrink near to oblivion.
“Maybe you’re not dying,” I suggested gently.
“A man knows, Tess,” he replied with resignation.
“Does it hurt to fight?” I asked and he smiled small.
“Oh sweetheart, don’t you worry, I’ll go down swingin’.”
“Good,” I smiled small back.
“Just hope I got it in me to fight back at the same time make peace with my family.”
“I’m getting to know your family, Cob, and I don’t want to get your hopes up but I see good things.”
His eyes grew intense on me and he asked, “Slim?”
I tipped my head to the side, surprised he asked.
“You just ate dinner with him and his sons,” I reminded him.
“There’s him lettin’ me in the door and lettin’ his boys know their Granddad while they got the chance and there’s him just lettin’ me in. I didn’t do right by Fern and in doin’ that, I didn’t do right by all my kids but Slim bore the brunt of it.”
“I know,” I whispered and pain shadowed his face.
“Right,” he muttered looking back at the fire.
“Cob,” I called and he looked back at me. Then I told him, “Life is funny. And the funny part is, sometimes out of bad comes good. I don’t like to see you conflicted and, no offense, but it’s upsetting to know things were rough for Brock and Fern and your family growing up because of the choices you made. But because of those choices, Brock is the man he is today and if he wasn’t, I honestly don’t know where I’d be. And that’s because there’s a lion in the room, Cob, and Brock’s standing between that lion and me and if he wasn’t, I don’t know how long I’d survive. You created that, not in a good way, in a bad one but that doesn’t mean it isn’t done. No one can erase mistakes. But in the end, your actions brought them together, they’re close, they love each other deeply, they’re fiercely loyal, they look out for one another and the ones who mean something to them. You had a hand in that and that doesn’t excuse what you did. But I hope that it brings you some peace to know the family you created, well, they’re survivors too even if the thing they had to survive was you.”
“That’s the loopiest thing I ever heard, sweetheart,” he replied and I shrugged then he went on, “But, I’ll be damned if it isn’t true.”
That’s when I laughed.
And after I was done, I told him, “Just FYI, where I stand is, you’re welcome at my bakery and my home anytime and if you need anything, now or if it gets rough, I want you to know, honestly and I mean it, you can call on me.”
“Jesus,” Brock muttered back then I felt him take a swig of his beer.
I went back to piping but I did it smiling.
* * * * *
“Here you go, Cob,” I said softly, handing Brock’s father a fresh beer.
Dinner (and cake) consumed, visit with Gramps (and Dad) over, Brock was off taking the boys back to Olivia and her husband Dade’s house and I was hanging out with his Dad at his place.
Why Cob was still there, I wasn’t sure. I was still there because I was spending the night.
I curled in the seat across the sectional from him with my peppermint tea and tried not to be obvious as I studied him while he studied the fire Brock built.
When silence stretched as we sipped at our beverages and Cob’s look went from reflective to dark, I whispered, “Hey,” and his eyes came to me. “You okay?” I asked quietly.
Cob didn’t delay in letting me know what was on his mind.
“When he was datin’ her, I felt joy,” Cob stated and I stared at him. “We weren’t close, still aren’t close, but I was around. Looks like that and sugar sweet,” he muttered then went on to say, “Turns out saccharine.”
Oh man.
He was talking about Olivia.
His eyes got intense and he said softly, “Not my place, lost that place and I ‘spect you know it but I’m gonna say it anyway and I hope you know I got my son’s best interests at heart but, like Olivia, you are far from hard on the eyes and, like Olivia, you’re sugar sweet and I need you now, Tess, to promise me what’s under all that frosting,” he jerked his chin at me, “tastes just as sweet.”
I felt my heart melt at a question from a man who was facing sickness, pain and possible death and wanted to face it knowing his son had good things in his life and I whispered,
“What you see is what you get with me, Cob, I promise.”
He studied me, nodded then looked back at the fire.
Then he said to the fire, “Jill told me you’re a survivor.”
This unexpected blow caused me to pull in breath, close my eyes and look away. I opened them when he spoke again to see he was looking at me.
“My girls and me, always close. Always been better with females than males, ‘cept Fern but that’s because I been a jackass for forty-odd years. I don’t know where Slim stands but far’s Jill’s concerned, it’s all in the family and what I want you to know is, where I stand, that’s the God’s honest truth.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“A man hurt you?” he asked.
“Yes,” I answered.
He stared at me and he did it long and he did it hard then I watched with some shock and a lot of other, stronger feelings as his eyes went bright.
Then he asked in a quiet, thick voice, “What possessed him?”
“I don’t know,” I answered in a quiet, thick voice.
“He pay?”
I shook my head.
To this he murmured, “Sweetheart.”
“There are lots of different ways to survive, Cob,” I defended softly.
“Well, honey, you stick with however you’re doin’ it. No judgment here. You get me?”
I nodded.
He pulled in a soft breath.
Then he shared, “Wish my boy Levi’d find a woman like you, makes him look like Slim looks when he looks at you, makes him feel however Slim feels that makes him get close to you anytime you’re even a little near, like any moment a lion’s gonna come roarin’ into the room and he’s gotta be close enough to come between you and it so he can keep you safe.
Can die knowin’ my Laurie and Jill got men like that at home, can die knowin’ Slim feels like that about a woman, wish I was dyin’ knowin’ that was warmin’ Levi’s bed at night.”
His words warmed my heart, settled in my soul and made that tight, coiled snake of poison in my belly shrink near to oblivion.
“Maybe you’re not dying,” I suggested gently.
“A man knows, Tess,” he replied with resignation.
“Does it hurt to fight?” I asked and he smiled small.
“Oh sweetheart, don’t you worry, I’ll go down swingin’.”
“Good,” I smiled small back.
“Just hope I got it in me to fight back at the same time make peace with my family.”
“I’m getting to know your family, Cob, and I don’t want to get your hopes up but I see good things.”
His eyes grew intense on me and he asked, “Slim?”
I tipped my head to the side, surprised he asked.
“You just ate dinner with him and his sons,” I reminded him.
“There’s him lettin’ me in the door and lettin’ his boys know their Granddad while they got the chance and there’s him just lettin’ me in. I didn’t do right by Fern and in doin’ that, I didn’t do right by all my kids but Slim bore the brunt of it.”
“I know,” I whispered and pain shadowed his face.
“Right,” he muttered looking back at the fire.
“Cob,” I called and he looked back at me. Then I told him, “Life is funny. And the funny part is, sometimes out of bad comes good. I don’t like to see you conflicted and, no offense, but it’s upsetting to know things were rough for Brock and Fern and your family growing up because of the choices you made. But because of those choices, Brock is the man he is today and if he wasn’t, I honestly don’t know where I’d be. And that’s because there’s a lion in the room, Cob, and Brock’s standing between that lion and me and if he wasn’t, I don’t know how long I’d survive. You created that, not in a good way, in a bad one but that doesn’t mean it isn’t done. No one can erase mistakes. But in the end, your actions brought them together, they’re close, they love each other deeply, they’re fiercely loyal, they look out for one another and the ones who mean something to them. You had a hand in that and that doesn’t excuse what you did. But I hope that it brings you some peace to know the family you created, well, they’re survivors too even if the thing they had to survive was you.”
“That’s the loopiest thing I ever heard, sweetheart,” he replied and I shrugged then he went on, “But, I’ll be damned if it isn’t true.”
That’s when I laughed.
And after I was done, I told him, “Just FYI, where I stand is, you’re welcome at my bakery and my home anytime and if you need anything, now or if it gets rough, I want you to know, honestly and I mean it, you can call on me.”
