Wild Man
Page 84
Oh man. Not a smooth move on Austin’s part. I had a feeling Austin was in the doghouse.
Laura kept right on going.
“Okay, so, he took the boys out to breakfast and then to a movie so I don’t also have Grady and Dylan to deal with but Grady and Dylan are a piece of cake compared to four four year old little girls. Ellie told them all about you and your cupcakes and that’s all they’ve been talking about so, to shut them up, I had to bring them here. But I have to tell you, Tess, I’m uncertain about injecting even a teaspoon of sugar into those four. They’re bouncing off the walls now. With sugar in them, they might explode through like four year old little girl Hulks in mermaid outfits.”
I bit my lip and waited for her to continue complaining so she could get it all off her chest but she didn’t. Her eyes suddenly wandered to a blackboard but she wasn’t reading it. They’d glazed over and I knew she was on a mental deserted island with a very strong mai tai and a romance novel.
I waited a moment to allow her to experience her fantasy before I was going to lift my hand and wave it in front of her face but I didn’t get the chance.
“Aunt Laurie,” Rex called, moving through the swinging doors followed by Joel.
Laura’s body jerked, her mouth tilted up into a smile and she said, “Hey kiddo,” and accepted a hug around her h*ps as she ruffled his hair then her eyes went to Joel and she said,
“Hey there, Joey.”
“Hey Aunt Laurie,” Joel replied, two years older than his brother and those two years were the two years you grew out of giving your Aunt a hug around her hips.
At the arrival of the boys, I took charge.
“All right guys, I’ve got a big job for you. Your Aunt Laura needs a breather so I want you to go over to Ellie’s table, get cupcake and milk flavor orders from those girls, put the cupcakes on plates, get the milk and get Kalie to make your aunt a coffee. And also, find out what treat your aunt wants and sort that out. Then I want you to hang with the girls and make sure they’re good. Can you do that?”
“Sure,” Joel said.
“Cool,” Rex said then asked, “Like, we’re waiters?”
I smiled at him. “Yeah, like that.”
“Awesome,” he muttered, his eyes alight.
Jeez, kids.
“You do the girls, I’ll do Aunt Laurie,” Joel ordered, all bossy big brother. Rex nodded, all used to being bossed little brother and took off. Joel headed to his cousin Kalie.
I looked to Laura. “Do you want to take a moment of sanity in my office or do you want your coffee to go and Joey, Rex and I can watch the girls while you take a much longer moment of sanity walking through the shops of Cherry Creek?” I asked. “With Kalie and Kellie here as well as the boys, I’m sure we’ll be good with the girls and you can nip away for half an hour? Forty-five minutes?”
She grinned and stated, “Now I know why Slim loves you. I always thought it was your, um… endowments.” She tipped her head to my chest then explained, “He’s my brother; I know it’s gross but you can’t help but notice that stuff and he’s totally a boob man.”
I pressed my lips together to stop myself from laughing and to stop myself from informing her that she was not correct. Yes, Brock liked br**sts and it had to be said he liked them a lot but it was a tossup if he went for the rack or the ass since he showered attention on both.
Then again, there were other, better areas he showered attention on so who knew? I only knew I was not going to share any of this knowledge with his sister.
Even so, Laura didn’t give me a chance because she kept speaking. “Olivia, she was busty too then she got her ball and chain on him and lost twenty-five pounds she didn’t have to lose which was not looked on favorably by Slim but all the rest of his chicks,” she grinned,
“totally. But now I’m seeing things more clearly. This place is crazed and you still offer a moment of sanity to a mother on the verge of breakdown. Very cool.”
“Well… thanks, I think,” I said to her.
“You’re welcome,” she said back then, I didn’t know why but something moved my eyes from Laura to the front window and at what they saw I got a chill down my back when I discovered I had a superhero power and it wasn’t super-cake-baking it was Bitch Radar.
And I discovered this because Olivia was standing in the window, glossy, Cherry Creek North bags dangling from her fingers, eyes staring at a Rex who had clearly taken orders from a gaggle of mermaids because he was heading back to Laura and me. Then her eyes moved from Rex through the shop and locked on me. Then her entire face got tight and she moved toward the door.
“Uh-oh,” I muttered, my eyes glued to her closing in on the door, my body experiencing an omen of doom and I knew when Laura clocked her because she muttered, “Oh my freaking God.”
Olivia opened the door and took two long strides in, did another scan of the shop, her eyes narrowed on Joel when she caught sight of him and then, if you can believe this, from across the room, she snapped loudly, “Where’s Slim?”
I quickly looked between the boys who both were close to me and were now frozen to the spot and staring at their mother.
“I got this,” Laura muttered and panic seized me because I was afraid she would “get this”
and how she would get it was not so good considering the fact that the last time she was near Olivia she attacked, nails bared but before I could stop her, she headed toward Olivia.
“You stay away from me,” Olivia snapped, again loudly, her hand raised with finger pointed at Laura and all my customers, and I had many, were starting to stare. Then her eyes came to me. “Where’s Slim?”
“He’s working and you need to go,” Laura told her.
“Boys,” I said quietly to Joey and Rex, “why don’t you go in the back?”
“No!” Olivia flared, getting louder, moving forward, skirting Laura and coming toward Joel, Rex and me. Then, if you can believe this, she announced, “Boys, come with me. We’re going home.”
I blinked in shock.
Then I asked, “What?”
This was at the same time Laura, who was following her, snapped (loudly), “What?”
Olivia ignored both of us and said to Brock’s sons. “Get your coats, let’s go.”
Damn! What did I do about this?
Both boys stared up at her, Rex with an open mouth, Joel with indecision warring clear as day on his mini-hot-guy face.
Laura kept right on going.
“Okay, so, he took the boys out to breakfast and then to a movie so I don’t also have Grady and Dylan to deal with but Grady and Dylan are a piece of cake compared to four four year old little girls. Ellie told them all about you and your cupcakes and that’s all they’ve been talking about so, to shut them up, I had to bring them here. But I have to tell you, Tess, I’m uncertain about injecting even a teaspoon of sugar into those four. They’re bouncing off the walls now. With sugar in them, they might explode through like four year old little girl Hulks in mermaid outfits.”
I bit my lip and waited for her to continue complaining so she could get it all off her chest but she didn’t. Her eyes suddenly wandered to a blackboard but she wasn’t reading it. They’d glazed over and I knew she was on a mental deserted island with a very strong mai tai and a romance novel.
I waited a moment to allow her to experience her fantasy before I was going to lift my hand and wave it in front of her face but I didn’t get the chance.
“Aunt Laurie,” Rex called, moving through the swinging doors followed by Joel.
Laura’s body jerked, her mouth tilted up into a smile and she said, “Hey kiddo,” and accepted a hug around her h*ps as she ruffled his hair then her eyes went to Joel and she said,
“Hey there, Joey.”
“Hey Aunt Laurie,” Joel replied, two years older than his brother and those two years were the two years you grew out of giving your Aunt a hug around her hips.
At the arrival of the boys, I took charge.
“All right guys, I’ve got a big job for you. Your Aunt Laura needs a breather so I want you to go over to Ellie’s table, get cupcake and milk flavor orders from those girls, put the cupcakes on plates, get the milk and get Kalie to make your aunt a coffee. And also, find out what treat your aunt wants and sort that out. Then I want you to hang with the girls and make sure they’re good. Can you do that?”
“Sure,” Joel said.
“Cool,” Rex said then asked, “Like, we’re waiters?”
I smiled at him. “Yeah, like that.”
“Awesome,” he muttered, his eyes alight.
Jeez, kids.
“You do the girls, I’ll do Aunt Laurie,” Joel ordered, all bossy big brother. Rex nodded, all used to being bossed little brother and took off. Joel headed to his cousin Kalie.
I looked to Laura. “Do you want to take a moment of sanity in my office or do you want your coffee to go and Joey, Rex and I can watch the girls while you take a much longer moment of sanity walking through the shops of Cherry Creek?” I asked. “With Kalie and Kellie here as well as the boys, I’m sure we’ll be good with the girls and you can nip away for half an hour? Forty-five minutes?”
She grinned and stated, “Now I know why Slim loves you. I always thought it was your, um… endowments.” She tipped her head to my chest then explained, “He’s my brother; I know it’s gross but you can’t help but notice that stuff and he’s totally a boob man.”
I pressed my lips together to stop myself from laughing and to stop myself from informing her that she was not correct. Yes, Brock liked br**sts and it had to be said he liked them a lot but it was a tossup if he went for the rack or the ass since he showered attention on both.
Then again, there were other, better areas he showered attention on so who knew? I only knew I was not going to share any of this knowledge with his sister.
Even so, Laura didn’t give me a chance because she kept speaking. “Olivia, she was busty too then she got her ball and chain on him and lost twenty-five pounds she didn’t have to lose which was not looked on favorably by Slim but all the rest of his chicks,” she grinned,
“totally. But now I’m seeing things more clearly. This place is crazed and you still offer a moment of sanity to a mother on the verge of breakdown. Very cool.”
“Well… thanks, I think,” I said to her.
“You’re welcome,” she said back then, I didn’t know why but something moved my eyes from Laura to the front window and at what they saw I got a chill down my back when I discovered I had a superhero power and it wasn’t super-cake-baking it was Bitch Radar.
And I discovered this because Olivia was standing in the window, glossy, Cherry Creek North bags dangling from her fingers, eyes staring at a Rex who had clearly taken orders from a gaggle of mermaids because he was heading back to Laura and me. Then her eyes moved from Rex through the shop and locked on me. Then her entire face got tight and she moved toward the door.
“Uh-oh,” I muttered, my eyes glued to her closing in on the door, my body experiencing an omen of doom and I knew when Laura clocked her because she muttered, “Oh my freaking God.”
Olivia opened the door and took two long strides in, did another scan of the shop, her eyes narrowed on Joel when she caught sight of him and then, if you can believe this, from across the room, she snapped loudly, “Where’s Slim?”
I quickly looked between the boys who both were close to me and were now frozen to the spot and staring at their mother.
“I got this,” Laura muttered and panic seized me because I was afraid she would “get this”
and how she would get it was not so good considering the fact that the last time she was near Olivia she attacked, nails bared but before I could stop her, she headed toward Olivia.
“You stay away from me,” Olivia snapped, again loudly, her hand raised with finger pointed at Laura and all my customers, and I had many, were starting to stare. Then her eyes came to me. “Where’s Slim?”
“He’s working and you need to go,” Laura told her.
“Boys,” I said quietly to Joey and Rex, “why don’t you go in the back?”
“No!” Olivia flared, getting louder, moving forward, skirting Laura and coming toward Joel, Rex and me. Then, if you can believe this, she announced, “Boys, come with me. We’re going home.”
I blinked in shock.
Then I asked, “What?”
This was at the same time Laura, who was following her, snapped (loudly), “What?”
Olivia ignored both of us and said to Brock’s sons. “Get your coats, let’s go.”
Damn! What did I do about this?
Both boys stared up at her, Rex with an open mouth, Joel with indecision warring clear as day on his mini-hot-guy face.
