Wild
Page 43
The cold hard truth was that I was embarrassed.
“Georgia isn’t some fling. It’s different with her.”
At that declaration, my heart tightened in my chest with equal parts thrill and terror. Logan looked at me then, his gaze steady and deep.
Reece snorted and my gaze swung to him and Pepper, reading the doubt on their faces . . . the incredulity.
“Oh, please.” Annie laughed. “Like we’re supposed to believe you two are in love?”
“I don’t care what you believe. Why are you even here?” Logan demanded.
She sniffed, but remained firmly in place.
“Georgia?” Pepper’s soft voice drew my gaze. Her amber eyes searched my face, asking without words if he was telling the truth. Was there something between Logan and me? Something besides the physical display they had just interrupted? It was an uncomfortable moment and for some reason I was reminded of my mother as Pepper stared at me, her expression one of confusion because I had not lived up to her expectations of me. I shook my head. Pepper was not my mother.
I felt Logan’s gaze and turned to face him. He stared at me, waiting, and I knew this was the moment. I either owned that I felt something deeper for him than mind-numbing attraction and saw it through or I shut this wild ride down now. Whatever I said would determine whether I would be his “girl” or not. The temptation to explore this thing between us was strong.
But fear was stronger.
I shook my head at him and almost immediately a shutter fell over his gaze, snuffing out the light that had been there. The light that had been there for me.
“No,” I whispered. “This can’t go anywhere between us, Logan. We’re not right . . .”
Logan nodded once, turning to face his brother. He shrugged, looking so damnably unaffected that I wanted to cry. Which only made me a contrary idiot. Like always. “Guess I was wrong.”
Something inside me crumpled as he stepped past me and left the four of us staring at one another in the stairwell. I wanted to be alone so badly right then to lick my wounds that I ached. But I wouldn’t look exactly dignified running upstairs.
Annie whistled between her teeth. “I think you actually just stomped all over his heart.” She grunted in satisfaction. “Who knew he even had one?”
Pepper whirled on her, her hair whipping around her shoulders. “Shut. Up.”
“Fine.” With a shrug, Annie turned and left. “You guys are a buzzkill, anyway.”
Pepper looked back at me, her expression uncertain, her deep amber eyes so damned pitying I wanted to scream. “Georgia . . . are you okay?”
I forced a smile that felt brittle as fractured glass. “Sure. That was a little awkward.” I motioned to the stairs where we had been caught making out. “But I’m okay.” I inhaled, filling my lungs.
Pepper bit her lips and looked between her boyfriend and me. “He looked kind of . . . crushed.”
“Pepper,” Reece cut in. “Leave it alone.”
“He’s not like you think,” I blurted, glaring at Reece, my voice angrier than I intended.
Reece arched an eyebrow at me. “No? And what do I think?”
“He’s not some irresponsible kid jumping from girl to girl. He’s had the world on his shoulders forever and he’s been handling it all on his own and he’s just . . . lonely.” And then it dawned on me.
Maybe that’s what all the girls had been about for Logan. His way of searching for intimacy. Connection. Feeling something, filling in the void. “I think he’s been lonely for a long time.” And I’d just failed him. I hated myself a little right then . . . until I told myself that I wasn’t the girl for him. He deserved someone who didn’t have obligations holding her down. The expectations and pressure of her family strangling her. That was me.
The creases bracketing Reece’s mouth tightened. “I know he’s not irresponsible. He’s had to carry more on his shoulders than he should have and I blame myself for a lot of that. I should have been there for him.”
Pepper rubbed his arm, consoling him. “You were young . . .”
“So was Logan. Younger than me.” Reece glanced at her before looking back at me and continuing. “As for Logan jumping from girl to girl . . .” His voice faded and he looked me up and down meaningfully, the implication clear. I was just one in a long line.
He did think his brother was a man-whore.
I shut my eyes in a tight blink and batted away the idea that I had somehow changed him. Even if he was looking for a relationship with me, he wasn’t the kind of guy I could bring home to my parents. They would never accept him, and that wouldn’t be fair to him.
Reece continued, “I don’t know how far this thing between you two has gone.”
My face burned and Reece’s lips tightened, obviously inferring that it had gone far.
“Logan has never been into monogamy, Georgia.” His voice gentled, his eyes full of concern. “I hate to see you get hurt.”
“I’ve never seen him like he was just now over any other girl,” Pepper interjected. “Maybe it’s different this time—” She stopped when Reece sent her a look.
“You willing to bank on that?” He inclined his head to me, still using that kind voice. “Georgia is our friend,” he reminded her.
“And Logan is your brother,” she returned.
“I’m going up to bed,” I inserted, over and done listening to them talk about me like I wasn’t even standing in front of them.
“Sure.” Pepper nodded, moving to take a step upstairs. “Want some company for a little while?”
“No, I’m tired.”
She continued to bob her head in that eager manner, watching me like I might fall and break a hip. She had been looking at me that way a lot. Ever since Harris dumped me. Things had finally been starting to get back to normal, with less pitying looks, and now this. She’d probably be watching me warily from the corner of her eye for another five months. Awesome.
“See you next weekend, right? At Emerson’s gallery showing?”
“Oh, yeah.” I’d almost forgotten Emerson had been offered an opportunity to show some of her pieces at a gallery in Boston.
“We can ride together if you want. Suzanne is coming, too. She actually got off work.”
“Georgia isn’t some fling. It’s different with her.”
At that declaration, my heart tightened in my chest with equal parts thrill and terror. Logan looked at me then, his gaze steady and deep.
Reece snorted and my gaze swung to him and Pepper, reading the doubt on their faces . . . the incredulity.
“Oh, please.” Annie laughed. “Like we’re supposed to believe you two are in love?”
“I don’t care what you believe. Why are you even here?” Logan demanded.
She sniffed, but remained firmly in place.
“Georgia?” Pepper’s soft voice drew my gaze. Her amber eyes searched my face, asking without words if he was telling the truth. Was there something between Logan and me? Something besides the physical display they had just interrupted? It was an uncomfortable moment and for some reason I was reminded of my mother as Pepper stared at me, her expression one of confusion because I had not lived up to her expectations of me. I shook my head. Pepper was not my mother.
I felt Logan’s gaze and turned to face him. He stared at me, waiting, and I knew this was the moment. I either owned that I felt something deeper for him than mind-numbing attraction and saw it through or I shut this wild ride down now. Whatever I said would determine whether I would be his “girl” or not. The temptation to explore this thing between us was strong.
But fear was stronger.
I shook my head at him and almost immediately a shutter fell over his gaze, snuffing out the light that had been there. The light that had been there for me.
“No,” I whispered. “This can’t go anywhere between us, Logan. We’re not right . . .”
Logan nodded once, turning to face his brother. He shrugged, looking so damnably unaffected that I wanted to cry. Which only made me a contrary idiot. Like always. “Guess I was wrong.”
Something inside me crumpled as he stepped past me and left the four of us staring at one another in the stairwell. I wanted to be alone so badly right then to lick my wounds that I ached. But I wouldn’t look exactly dignified running upstairs.
Annie whistled between her teeth. “I think you actually just stomped all over his heart.” She grunted in satisfaction. “Who knew he even had one?”
Pepper whirled on her, her hair whipping around her shoulders. “Shut. Up.”
“Fine.” With a shrug, Annie turned and left. “You guys are a buzzkill, anyway.”
Pepper looked back at me, her expression uncertain, her deep amber eyes so damned pitying I wanted to scream. “Georgia . . . are you okay?”
I forced a smile that felt brittle as fractured glass. “Sure. That was a little awkward.” I motioned to the stairs where we had been caught making out. “But I’m okay.” I inhaled, filling my lungs.
Pepper bit her lips and looked between her boyfriend and me. “He looked kind of . . . crushed.”
“Pepper,” Reece cut in. “Leave it alone.”
“He’s not like you think,” I blurted, glaring at Reece, my voice angrier than I intended.
Reece arched an eyebrow at me. “No? And what do I think?”
“He’s not some irresponsible kid jumping from girl to girl. He’s had the world on his shoulders forever and he’s been handling it all on his own and he’s just . . . lonely.” And then it dawned on me.
Maybe that’s what all the girls had been about for Logan. His way of searching for intimacy. Connection. Feeling something, filling in the void. “I think he’s been lonely for a long time.” And I’d just failed him. I hated myself a little right then . . . until I told myself that I wasn’t the girl for him. He deserved someone who didn’t have obligations holding her down. The expectations and pressure of her family strangling her. That was me.
The creases bracketing Reece’s mouth tightened. “I know he’s not irresponsible. He’s had to carry more on his shoulders than he should have and I blame myself for a lot of that. I should have been there for him.”
Pepper rubbed his arm, consoling him. “You were young . . .”
“So was Logan. Younger than me.” Reece glanced at her before looking back at me and continuing. “As for Logan jumping from girl to girl . . .” His voice faded and he looked me up and down meaningfully, the implication clear. I was just one in a long line.
He did think his brother was a man-whore.
I shut my eyes in a tight blink and batted away the idea that I had somehow changed him. Even if he was looking for a relationship with me, he wasn’t the kind of guy I could bring home to my parents. They would never accept him, and that wouldn’t be fair to him.
Reece continued, “I don’t know how far this thing between you two has gone.”
My face burned and Reece’s lips tightened, obviously inferring that it had gone far.
“Logan has never been into monogamy, Georgia.” His voice gentled, his eyes full of concern. “I hate to see you get hurt.”
“I’ve never seen him like he was just now over any other girl,” Pepper interjected. “Maybe it’s different this time—” She stopped when Reece sent her a look.
“You willing to bank on that?” He inclined his head to me, still using that kind voice. “Georgia is our friend,” he reminded her.
“And Logan is your brother,” she returned.
“I’m going up to bed,” I inserted, over and done listening to them talk about me like I wasn’t even standing in front of them.
“Sure.” Pepper nodded, moving to take a step upstairs. “Want some company for a little while?”
“No, I’m tired.”
She continued to bob her head in that eager manner, watching me like I might fall and break a hip. She had been looking at me that way a lot. Ever since Harris dumped me. Things had finally been starting to get back to normal, with less pitying looks, and now this. She’d probably be watching me warily from the corner of her eye for another five months. Awesome.
“See you next weekend, right? At Emerson’s gallery showing?”
“Oh, yeah.” I’d almost forgotten Emerson had been offered an opportunity to show some of her pieces at a gallery in Boston.
“We can ride together if you want. Suzanne is coming, too. She actually got off work.”
