Wildest Dreams
Page 128
I didn’t have anything to say to that and since I was concentrating on keeping my tightening neck muscles from snapping, I didn’t make a peep.
Valentine carried on. “Therefore, I must inform you that I also know that before you felt this emotion for him, and he was aware of his depth of feeling for you, in order to bind you to this land and to him for the future of this country and for his own ends as he held extreme distaste for your twin, he ordered the elves of this world to bind you here for the rest of your days at the same time he ordered that the other Sjofn be bound to your world… and your life… for the rest of hers.”
I blinked but said nothing mostly because I had no air in my lungs and my throat suddenly felt parched.
Valentine kept speaking. “The power held by these creatures is immense, unbreakable. It is so powerful I have never felt the like of it. Still, I have searched for magic or some means of thwarting it but my search was fruitless and I fear this kind of magic does not exist.” She paused, held my gaze and delivered the killing blow, “You are never to go home, Seoafin, ever. And your twin will never come back, ever.”
I stared at her, now unblinking, she held my stare and continued.
“Your husband made this decision without consulting you and he did this on the night you first learned of the existence of elves.”
I kept staring as my mind reeled.
That night… that night…
Oh my God. We barely knew each other back then. He’d just come back from being away with his men. Although he told me he fell in love with me while I was mixing pancake batter, and maybe when he looked back this was the true, but at the time he didn’t trust me and I wasn’t even certain he liked me. He didn’t even know who I was until the elves told him. In fact, he wouldn’t start being really sweet and gentle, becoming my Frey, until after that night.
After he’d cut me off from my world – completely and forever.
And he cut me off because the elves had told him who I was. He cut me off because Sjofn was a lesbian and I was not. He cut me off because he could get from me for the rest of his life what he wouldn’t get from her.
And he did all of this without asking me.
He irrevocably changed my life and imprisoned me in this world, cutting me off from people I loved and the world I knew without asking and at a time when I had no intention of staying.
Oh… my… God.
“And when,” Valentine continued and my dazed, wounded attention shot back to her, “I sent a message through the witch of this world, Agnes, to inform you this happened, your husband intercepted it, lied to me through Agnes about your desires to remain, saying you were aware of this situation and had agreed to stay. He then disallowed Agnes any communication with you even though much was happening in this world and your own.”
Oh my God.
“And now, ma cherie,” she kept going, her voice gentling, indicating she was not done delivering her death blows, “even though I do sense you are pleased that you are bound to this world and further bound to it through the child you carry, you must know that your husband orchestrated that as well. He did this without your knowledge and, until it came about and you decided to be pleased mostly because the deed was done and you had no choice, he also did it against your will.”
It was then I finally blinked again.
Then I whispered, “What?”
“This powder you took?” she asked, I nodded slowly and she went on. “It is quite powerful and nearly foolproof. However, you have not been taking it now for some time. He discovered it and switched it with a placebo with the intent to sire a child on you in order to safely deliver an heir to the throne of this nation.”
I felt every inch of my body lock.
No.
God. No.
Why would he do that?
“Why would he do that?” I breathed.
“He is a man,” Valentine answered gently, studied my face that I could actually feel was pale and then she continued. “Therefore, my goddess of love, your husband has been very busy. Your parents of this world have known of all of this since your return to them after the time you spent in the country. The three of them have known you are bound to this world everlasting and Princess Sjofn would never return. But it is only your husband, and one of his men who procured the placebo for you, that knows he has schemed behind your back to get you with child.”
I couldn’t believe this.
This was unbelievable.
Why would Frey do this? Any of it.
Why?
Memories clashed in my head. Atticus seeming so despondent when I couldn’t hit the target I knew now was not because he was disappointed in his Sjofn but because he was mourning the loss of his daughter. Both his and Aurora’s easy acceptance of me, acceptance they had no choice but to have for their Frey, their Drakkar had commanded the elves. All of them, including Frey’s quick and unreserved happiness I was pregnant without me having to say a word about remaining in this world, switching places with Sjofn and providing an heir to the throne.
God, I was so stupid, so blind, so involved in falling in love I didn’t even notice, didn’t think, didn’t piece it together – but this was because they all knew I was never leaving way before I did and way before I even knew I wanted to.
I felt my jaw clench and a red film descended over my eyes.
“That said…” Valentine’s voice came to me but I had stopped hearing her, nothing was penetrating the injured, infuriated fog filling my head.
I slowly stood and turned to round the bed.
“Seoafin,” she called but I ignored her and moved, my gait slow, my head feeling fuzzy, my eyes still seeing red.
“Seoafin,” I heard again and then I heard an angry mew from Penelope which could only mean that Valentine had stood but I kept going, my pace quickening. “Seoafin, my goddess of love, I’m not quite –”
But she didn’t finish because I was running to the door, out the door, down the hall, down the stairs, down the next flight, out the door and into the snow.
And as I blindly ran, I ran right into Ruben who caught me in his arms.
“Finnie, what are you doing outside without a cloak?” he asked and my head shot back, my gaze locked with his and his head jerked at what he saw.
“Where’s Frey?” I demanded to know.
“Finnie –” Ruben started, his eyes turning guarded as they took in my face, his hands coming to my upper arms, fingers curling around carefully.
“Ben, where… is… Frey?” I ended my question on a shriek and Ruben’s head jerked again as his fingers tightened.
Valentine carried on. “Therefore, I must inform you that I also know that before you felt this emotion for him, and he was aware of his depth of feeling for you, in order to bind you to this land and to him for the future of this country and for his own ends as he held extreme distaste for your twin, he ordered the elves of this world to bind you here for the rest of your days at the same time he ordered that the other Sjofn be bound to your world… and your life… for the rest of hers.”
I blinked but said nothing mostly because I had no air in my lungs and my throat suddenly felt parched.
Valentine kept speaking. “The power held by these creatures is immense, unbreakable. It is so powerful I have never felt the like of it. Still, I have searched for magic or some means of thwarting it but my search was fruitless and I fear this kind of magic does not exist.” She paused, held my gaze and delivered the killing blow, “You are never to go home, Seoafin, ever. And your twin will never come back, ever.”
I stared at her, now unblinking, she held my stare and continued.
“Your husband made this decision without consulting you and he did this on the night you first learned of the existence of elves.”
I kept staring as my mind reeled.
That night… that night…
Oh my God. We barely knew each other back then. He’d just come back from being away with his men. Although he told me he fell in love with me while I was mixing pancake batter, and maybe when he looked back this was the true, but at the time he didn’t trust me and I wasn’t even certain he liked me. He didn’t even know who I was until the elves told him. In fact, he wouldn’t start being really sweet and gentle, becoming my Frey, until after that night.
After he’d cut me off from my world – completely and forever.
And he cut me off because the elves had told him who I was. He cut me off because Sjofn was a lesbian and I was not. He cut me off because he could get from me for the rest of his life what he wouldn’t get from her.
And he did all of this without asking me.
He irrevocably changed my life and imprisoned me in this world, cutting me off from people I loved and the world I knew without asking and at a time when I had no intention of staying.
Oh… my… God.
“And when,” Valentine continued and my dazed, wounded attention shot back to her, “I sent a message through the witch of this world, Agnes, to inform you this happened, your husband intercepted it, lied to me through Agnes about your desires to remain, saying you were aware of this situation and had agreed to stay. He then disallowed Agnes any communication with you even though much was happening in this world and your own.”
Oh my God.
“And now, ma cherie,” she kept going, her voice gentling, indicating she was not done delivering her death blows, “even though I do sense you are pleased that you are bound to this world and further bound to it through the child you carry, you must know that your husband orchestrated that as well. He did this without your knowledge and, until it came about and you decided to be pleased mostly because the deed was done and you had no choice, he also did it against your will.”
It was then I finally blinked again.
Then I whispered, “What?”
“This powder you took?” she asked, I nodded slowly and she went on. “It is quite powerful and nearly foolproof. However, you have not been taking it now for some time. He discovered it and switched it with a placebo with the intent to sire a child on you in order to safely deliver an heir to the throne of this nation.”
I felt every inch of my body lock.
No.
God. No.
Why would he do that?
“Why would he do that?” I breathed.
“He is a man,” Valentine answered gently, studied my face that I could actually feel was pale and then she continued. “Therefore, my goddess of love, your husband has been very busy. Your parents of this world have known of all of this since your return to them after the time you spent in the country. The three of them have known you are bound to this world everlasting and Princess Sjofn would never return. But it is only your husband, and one of his men who procured the placebo for you, that knows he has schemed behind your back to get you with child.”
I couldn’t believe this.
This was unbelievable.
Why would Frey do this? Any of it.
Why?
Memories clashed in my head. Atticus seeming so despondent when I couldn’t hit the target I knew now was not because he was disappointed in his Sjofn but because he was mourning the loss of his daughter. Both his and Aurora’s easy acceptance of me, acceptance they had no choice but to have for their Frey, their Drakkar had commanded the elves. All of them, including Frey’s quick and unreserved happiness I was pregnant without me having to say a word about remaining in this world, switching places with Sjofn and providing an heir to the throne.
God, I was so stupid, so blind, so involved in falling in love I didn’t even notice, didn’t think, didn’t piece it together – but this was because they all knew I was never leaving way before I did and way before I even knew I wanted to.
I felt my jaw clench and a red film descended over my eyes.
“That said…” Valentine’s voice came to me but I had stopped hearing her, nothing was penetrating the injured, infuriated fog filling my head.
I slowly stood and turned to round the bed.
“Seoafin,” she called but I ignored her and moved, my gait slow, my head feeling fuzzy, my eyes still seeing red.
“Seoafin,” I heard again and then I heard an angry mew from Penelope which could only mean that Valentine had stood but I kept going, my pace quickening. “Seoafin, my goddess of love, I’m not quite –”
But she didn’t finish because I was running to the door, out the door, down the hall, down the stairs, down the next flight, out the door and into the snow.
And as I blindly ran, I ran right into Ruben who caught me in his arms.
“Finnie, what are you doing outside without a cloak?” he asked and my head shot back, my gaze locked with his and his head jerked at what he saw.
“Where’s Frey?” I demanded to know.
“Finnie –” Ruben started, his eyes turning guarded as they took in my face, his hands coming to my upper arms, fingers curling around carefully.
“Ben, where… is… Frey?” I ended my question on a shriek and Ruben’s head jerked again as his fingers tightened.
