Wildest Dreams
Page 92
Although it wasn’t for Sjofn, I took this as good news that Frey, Atticus and Aurora all considered Sjofn’s actions an act of treason. First, knowing this, she wouldn’t want to return (for the punishment for treason was hanging which, obviously, anyone would wish to avoid) and second, for this reason, Atticus and Aurora would not want her return. And if she faced that, what it would mean for Lunwyn as a whole for, if hung by the neck until dead, obviously, she could not bear a child who would sit on the throne and assure peace for the land but, instead, political maneuvering (already unpleasant, to say the least, what with daggers and poison involved) would careen out-of-control.
So I took this as good news (for me) because, with all of that, they all would be less likely to want me to go home and more likely to wish me to stay.
Discussing Sjofn led me to thinking (and sharing with Frey) that there were a number of questions and contradictions about her behavior. There were things she did that were thoughtless and selfish and others that were neither. I couldn’t help but think that Frey was wrong about her and this was because she had the devotion of all her maidservants. It was clear Sjofn didn’t think like Frey did about the different classes. They were not her maidservants, they were her friends, her confidants and she was theirs. And I couldn’t imagine my girls caring for a woman who did not deserve their emotion.
I also couldn’t imagine carrying the burden of Sjofn’s responsibility to her country which forced her to hide her sexuality, something innate and so crucial to not only who she was but her happiness.
I could not say I agreed with everything she did but I was not her. I’d never had to hide who I was so didn’t understand these feelings and how she had to be torn between happiness and duty. And not knowing, I could not make a judgment.
When I quietly shared this with Frey, he disagreed. It was clear he felt quite comfortable making a judgment and he did. I left him to his thoughts for, obviously, he was entitled to them.
But I couldn’t help but think, hopefully, in the end, both Sjofn and I would find ourselves high on Valentine’s line of happiness in our different adventures.
“I’m finished, milady,” Skylar called, my thoughts moved back into the room and I turned my head his way.
Then I smiled, uncurled from my corner and walked slowly to him. As I did, Skylar shrank slightly back in the big chair and didn’t quite meet my eyes, something he did normally but something I noticed intensified when he had completed his work and it was time for me to look over it. Therefore, when I arrived, I reached in carefully, took hold of the corner of the paper and moved slowly away, again giving him space.
Then my eyes scanned the paper. In the twenty questions, he’d crossed out two answers but in the end, got them right. In fact, he got all the answers right.
I took another small step back because I intended to speak to him and he seemed more comfortable with distance when I did.
“Not a single mistake, Skylar,” I said gently, “you’re learning this extremely quickly. Tomorrow, I’ll have to make them a bit more difficult.”
I had hoped he would blossom under the quiet praise but the mention of the questions becoming more difficult made a flash of fear fire in his eyes.
Therefore, I rushed to assure him, “Not that much more difficult, honey. We’ll take it slow. No worries.”
He bit his lip and nodded, looking no less worried.
I pulled in a breath. Frey had advised me not to give into my instinct to protect him by responding to his uneasiness and fear by releasing him from the cause, namely me. Frey had said that Skylar couldn’t get used to me if I let him scurry away but that I would need to be around for him actually to get used to me.
This was, of course, wise.
It was also really hard.
So instead of seeing that fear in his eyes, his teeth sinking into his lip anxiously and giving into my instinct of cutting our lesson short and letting him off the hook, I decided to move forward and work with him on his letters.
“All right, Skylar,” I said softly, taking a step toward him, “we’re going to move on. You’ve got the alphabet down pat so now we’ll work on putting it together to make some –”
I stopped speaking when the door opened suddenly.
Skylar’s eyes shot to it and so did mine.
And when they did, I saw Kell barging in.
He looked to Skylar at Frey’s desk then me then he announced in his gruff voice, “We got a problem.”
My heart skipped.
He didn’t look happy, as in, way more than his usual unhappy when he was looking at me so I was thinking this problem was a problem.
“Out, boy,” Kell barked at Skylar, Skylar jumped up and took off.
He closed the door behind him and Kell’s gaze came to me.
My eyes had not left him and my fingertips were on the desk, pressing in, seeking support hopefully without looking like I was.
“Frey?” I asked quietly and Kell’s bushy white brows shot together.
“What?” he barked.
“Frey,” I repeated, turning more fully to him and stiffening my spine. “Have you heard some word? Are Frey and the men all right?”
“Gods, woman, a’ course they are. Stealin’ a branch from a poof? Bloody hell,” he replied and I decided that I would not share my thoughts on him calling homosexuals “poofs” but I even if I wished to do so, I didn’t get the chance because Kell kept speaking. “We got riders at the shore. They hold Baldur banners.”
Oh shit.
Kell went on. “They’re flashin’ a sun message. Bloody Baldur knows you’re here, he’s camped close and he wants you and Frey to attend him.”
Oh shit!
“A sun message?” I asked.
“Sun,” he grunted. “Mirror. Message.”
That was all he said but I put two and two together and figured that the riders were flashing a mirror at the sun in some way that the men on the ship could read.
And that message was, my uncle… who was not my uncle… wanted me and my husband… who was not here but instead on a clandestine mission to steal property from Middleland soil some weeks after, of course, he and his men had helped the king’s captive sorceress (and forced mistress) to escape… to come and see him.
This was not good.
“I’m guessin’ from that look on yer face you’re readin’ this situation as not good,” Kell accurately deduced then without a breath continued. “We’re exposed. Until nightfall, without them seein’, we can’t get a man to shore to get a message to Frey. And, we got a command from a king on our hands, one we cannot defy without good reason and we got ourselves a couple a’ those, but none of ‘em are ones we can share. And Baldur is not the kind ‘a king who’s big on bein’ defied. Not to mention, we send you in, you got no idea who this blighter is.”
So I took this as good news (for me) because, with all of that, they all would be less likely to want me to go home and more likely to wish me to stay.
Discussing Sjofn led me to thinking (and sharing with Frey) that there were a number of questions and contradictions about her behavior. There were things she did that were thoughtless and selfish and others that were neither. I couldn’t help but think that Frey was wrong about her and this was because she had the devotion of all her maidservants. It was clear Sjofn didn’t think like Frey did about the different classes. They were not her maidservants, they were her friends, her confidants and she was theirs. And I couldn’t imagine my girls caring for a woman who did not deserve their emotion.
I also couldn’t imagine carrying the burden of Sjofn’s responsibility to her country which forced her to hide her sexuality, something innate and so crucial to not only who she was but her happiness.
I could not say I agreed with everything she did but I was not her. I’d never had to hide who I was so didn’t understand these feelings and how she had to be torn between happiness and duty. And not knowing, I could not make a judgment.
When I quietly shared this with Frey, he disagreed. It was clear he felt quite comfortable making a judgment and he did. I left him to his thoughts for, obviously, he was entitled to them.
But I couldn’t help but think, hopefully, in the end, both Sjofn and I would find ourselves high on Valentine’s line of happiness in our different adventures.
“I’m finished, milady,” Skylar called, my thoughts moved back into the room and I turned my head his way.
Then I smiled, uncurled from my corner and walked slowly to him. As I did, Skylar shrank slightly back in the big chair and didn’t quite meet my eyes, something he did normally but something I noticed intensified when he had completed his work and it was time for me to look over it. Therefore, when I arrived, I reached in carefully, took hold of the corner of the paper and moved slowly away, again giving him space.
Then my eyes scanned the paper. In the twenty questions, he’d crossed out two answers but in the end, got them right. In fact, he got all the answers right.
I took another small step back because I intended to speak to him and he seemed more comfortable with distance when I did.
“Not a single mistake, Skylar,” I said gently, “you’re learning this extremely quickly. Tomorrow, I’ll have to make them a bit more difficult.”
I had hoped he would blossom under the quiet praise but the mention of the questions becoming more difficult made a flash of fear fire in his eyes.
Therefore, I rushed to assure him, “Not that much more difficult, honey. We’ll take it slow. No worries.”
He bit his lip and nodded, looking no less worried.
I pulled in a breath. Frey had advised me not to give into my instinct to protect him by responding to his uneasiness and fear by releasing him from the cause, namely me. Frey had said that Skylar couldn’t get used to me if I let him scurry away but that I would need to be around for him actually to get used to me.
This was, of course, wise.
It was also really hard.
So instead of seeing that fear in his eyes, his teeth sinking into his lip anxiously and giving into my instinct of cutting our lesson short and letting him off the hook, I decided to move forward and work with him on his letters.
“All right, Skylar,” I said softly, taking a step toward him, “we’re going to move on. You’ve got the alphabet down pat so now we’ll work on putting it together to make some –”
I stopped speaking when the door opened suddenly.
Skylar’s eyes shot to it and so did mine.
And when they did, I saw Kell barging in.
He looked to Skylar at Frey’s desk then me then he announced in his gruff voice, “We got a problem.”
My heart skipped.
He didn’t look happy, as in, way more than his usual unhappy when he was looking at me so I was thinking this problem was a problem.
“Out, boy,” Kell barked at Skylar, Skylar jumped up and took off.
He closed the door behind him and Kell’s gaze came to me.
My eyes had not left him and my fingertips were on the desk, pressing in, seeking support hopefully without looking like I was.
“Frey?” I asked quietly and Kell’s bushy white brows shot together.
“What?” he barked.
“Frey,” I repeated, turning more fully to him and stiffening my spine. “Have you heard some word? Are Frey and the men all right?”
“Gods, woman, a’ course they are. Stealin’ a branch from a poof? Bloody hell,” he replied and I decided that I would not share my thoughts on him calling homosexuals “poofs” but I even if I wished to do so, I didn’t get the chance because Kell kept speaking. “We got riders at the shore. They hold Baldur banners.”
Oh shit.
Kell went on. “They’re flashin’ a sun message. Bloody Baldur knows you’re here, he’s camped close and he wants you and Frey to attend him.”
Oh shit!
“A sun message?” I asked.
“Sun,” he grunted. “Mirror. Message.”
That was all he said but I put two and two together and figured that the riders were flashing a mirror at the sun in some way that the men on the ship could read.
And that message was, my uncle… who was not my uncle… wanted me and my husband… who was not here but instead on a clandestine mission to steal property from Middleland soil some weeks after, of course, he and his men had helped the king’s captive sorceress (and forced mistress) to escape… to come and see him.
This was not good.
“I’m guessin’ from that look on yer face you’re readin’ this situation as not good,” Kell accurately deduced then without a breath continued. “We’re exposed. Until nightfall, without them seein’, we can’t get a man to shore to get a message to Frey. And, we got a command from a king on our hands, one we cannot defy without good reason and we got ourselves a couple a’ those, but none of ‘em are ones we can share. And Baldur is not the kind ‘a king who’s big on bein’ defied. Not to mention, we send you in, you got no idea who this blighter is.”
