Willing Sacrifice
Page 25
Like Mom, Grace had believed him because she’d wanted to.
“I don’t understand,” she said. “How did you give me back my memory?”
“I gave you nothing. You took it. For that, I am sorry. Some things are best left forgotten.”
Those words made sense now in a way they never had before. Grace could remember every moment of fear, anger and grief from that night. The rest was still a dark void with no more than fluttering shadows taunting her.
She had a mother, a brother. His was the face she’d seen in her dreams. At least now she knew his name. She also knew how much she’d loved both Mom and Blake. That alone was a tremendous gift, even as mixed with pain and loss as it had been.
Grace had a family. She wasn’t completely alone. They were humans like her, and they’d loved her despite her weaknesses.
That knowledge was a precious gift that helped balance out the dark burden of the memory itself.
“Are there more memories I can see?” she asked.
“The more important question is whether or not you know where to find the crystals.”
Grace opened her mouth to say no, but the knowledge was there, clear and certain. “I do.”
“Good. Then tonight’s work is done.”
“But there’s so much more I want to know. What happened to my mother? Where is Blake?”
“Not tonight. I am weary. Leave me and go rest for your journey.” It wasn’t a request.
Arguing with Brenya wasn’t an option, and Grace really did worry about the older woman’s health. As much as the need for more memories burned inside Grace, she knew she would get nowhere tonight. It was best to do as she was told and bring it up another day.
She left the hut, still reeling from what she’d seen.
She had a family out there somewhere.
She looked up at the sky, wondering if she would ever see them again. Were they even alive?
Dark had fallen, and the nighttime animals had come out to play. Their chattering comforted her, making her feel grounded in reality. Wherever she’d been before in her memory—in a house she couldn’t remember—she was here now, in the world she knew and understood.
The scent of dirt and leaves rose from the ground. Warm, humid air wrapped around her limbs, but it did little to drive away the chill just beneath her skin. The longer she turned the memory over in her mind, the more she realized what it meant.
This man who’d brutalized her mother and terrified her and her brother had shaped her life. She couldn’t remember him clearly, but he still had control over her. He was the reason she flinched and shied away from displays of anger. He was the reason she would hide under the covers, afraid of some nameless threat in the night. Even from a distance of both time and space, he shaped her.
The idea that she let it happen gave her a rare surge of anger.
She had to walk this off, shed the oily film of fury that left ugly streaks across her insides.
She wasn’t like Jerry. Never would be. Now that she knew he existed, it was time to take away any lingering control he had over her.
There was no conscious thought to her path. Only habit guided her steps as she walked blindly along the edge of the village.
It wasn’t until strong hands circled her arms that she realized that she’d almost walked right into Torr.
“Whoa—I said your name three times. Where were you?” he asked.
“Sorry. I didn’t hear you.”
“Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Maybe she had. Was her family still alive? Were they looking for her?
His thumbs stroked her skin, calming her a bit. Some of the shaky fear and anger trickled out of her, giving her a little room to breathe.
“Something’s wrong,” he said. “You talked to Brenya, didn’t you?”
Grace nodded as she looked up at him. Once again she was struck by the beauty of the band around his throat. For a second, she forgot all about her own thoughts, which helped ease some of her roiling emotions.
From the necklace, her eyes naturally wandered to the skin beneath it and the strong lines of his neck. She’d been cradled close to him only a few hours ago, and she could still recall his scent and the way it made her whole body relax and grow languid.
His expression hardened. “Did she upset you? If she did, I’ll—”
Grace instinctively pressed her hand against his chest to calm his anger. “No, it’s not that. I mean, she did, but it wasn’t her fault.”
“Of course it was her fault. That woman has got to stop playing queen and start thinking before she speaks.” His tone was getting sharper, angrier.
Grace took a step back, shoving herself away from him. His body didn’t even sway. “Stop it,” she said, surprising herself with the force of her words. “Brenya saved my life. She can talk to me however she likes.”
“Okay,” he said, more gently. He lifted his hands, palms out, completely nonthreatening. “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”
“She gave me back my memory,” she said. “Well, I guess she didn’t give it. I took it, but it feels like the same thing to me.”
His face lit up, gleaming with a kind of hope she couldn’t understand. “You remember?”
She nodded. “I have a brother. A family.”
“What else do you remember? Who else?”
“A doctor whose name I don’t know. Maybe I never did. And a stepfather who I wish I’d never known.”
Hope fell from his expression, leaving behind a bleak stare. “No one else?”
“No. Why? Do you know something I don’t?”
His lips clamped shut until all the blood was pushed from them. He looked like he ached to say something, but instead he turned around and started walking away.
Grace grabbed his arm. The instant her fingertips touched his skin, he rocked to a halt. She swung in front of him just in time to see him close his eyes and brace himself. For what, she wasn’t sure.
“What aren’t you telling me?” she asked.
After what seemed like a long time, he finally opened his eyes and looked down at her. In the darkness, his amber gaze seemed to glow, catching flickering bits of torchlight along the path.
“I’m glad you remembered your family. That’s got to feel good.”
He hadn’t answered her question, but at least he wasn’t running away after she’d snapped at him. “I wish I knew more about them. I don’t even know if they’re still alive. What if they’re looking for me?”
“I don’t understand,” she said. “How did you give me back my memory?”
“I gave you nothing. You took it. For that, I am sorry. Some things are best left forgotten.”
Those words made sense now in a way they never had before. Grace could remember every moment of fear, anger and grief from that night. The rest was still a dark void with no more than fluttering shadows taunting her.
She had a mother, a brother. His was the face she’d seen in her dreams. At least now she knew his name. She also knew how much she’d loved both Mom and Blake. That alone was a tremendous gift, even as mixed with pain and loss as it had been.
Grace had a family. She wasn’t completely alone. They were humans like her, and they’d loved her despite her weaknesses.
That knowledge was a precious gift that helped balance out the dark burden of the memory itself.
“Are there more memories I can see?” she asked.
“The more important question is whether or not you know where to find the crystals.”
Grace opened her mouth to say no, but the knowledge was there, clear and certain. “I do.”
“Good. Then tonight’s work is done.”
“But there’s so much more I want to know. What happened to my mother? Where is Blake?”
“Not tonight. I am weary. Leave me and go rest for your journey.” It wasn’t a request.
Arguing with Brenya wasn’t an option, and Grace really did worry about the older woman’s health. As much as the need for more memories burned inside Grace, she knew she would get nowhere tonight. It was best to do as she was told and bring it up another day.
She left the hut, still reeling from what she’d seen.
She had a family out there somewhere.
She looked up at the sky, wondering if she would ever see them again. Were they even alive?
Dark had fallen, and the nighttime animals had come out to play. Their chattering comforted her, making her feel grounded in reality. Wherever she’d been before in her memory—in a house she couldn’t remember—she was here now, in the world she knew and understood.
The scent of dirt and leaves rose from the ground. Warm, humid air wrapped around her limbs, but it did little to drive away the chill just beneath her skin. The longer she turned the memory over in her mind, the more she realized what it meant.
This man who’d brutalized her mother and terrified her and her brother had shaped her life. She couldn’t remember him clearly, but he still had control over her. He was the reason she flinched and shied away from displays of anger. He was the reason she would hide under the covers, afraid of some nameless threat in the night. Even from a distance of both time and space, he shaped her.
The idea that she let it happen gave her a rare surge of anger.
She had to walk this off, shed the oily film of fury that left ugly streaks across her insides.
She wasn’t like Jerry. Never would be. Now that she knew he existed, it was time to take away any lingering control he had over her.
There was no conscious thought to her path. Only habit guided her steps as she walked blindly along the edge of the village.
It wasn’t until strong hands circled her arms that she realized that she’d almost walked right into Torr.
“Whoa—I said your name three times. Where were you?” he asked.
“Sorry. I didn’t hear you.”
“Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Maybe she had. Was her family still alive? Were they looking for her?
His thumbs stroked her skin, calming her a bit. Some of the shaky fear and anger trickled out of her, giving her a little room to breathe.
“Something’s wrong,” he said. “You talked to Brenya, didn’t you?”
Grace nodded as she looked up at him. Once again she was struck by the beauty of the band around his throat. For a second, she forgot all about her own thoughts, which helped ease some of her roiling emotions.
From the necklace, her eyes naturally wandered to the skin beneath it and the strong lines of his neck. She’d been cradled close to him only a few hours ago, and she could still recall his scent and the way it made her whole body relax and grow languid.
His expression hardened. “Did she upset you? If she did, I’ll—”
Grace instinctively pressed her hand against his chest to calm his anger. “No, it’s not that. I mean, she did, but it wasn’t her fault.”
“Of course it was her fault. That woman has got to stop playing queen and start thinking before she speaks.” His tone was getting sharper, angrier.
Grace took a step back, shoving herself away from him. His body didn’t even sway. “Stop it,” she said, surprising herself with the force of her words. “Brenya saved my life. She can talk to me however she likes.”
“Okay,” he said, more gently. He lifted his hands, palms out, completely nonthreatening. “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”
“She gave me back my memory,” she said. “Well, I guess she didn’t give it. I took it, but it feels like the same thing to me.”
His face lit up, gleaming with a kind of hope she couldn’t understand. “You remember?”
She nodded. “I have a brother. A family.”
“What else do you remember? Who else?”
“A doctor whose name I don’t know. Maybe I never did. And a stepfather who I wish I’d never known.”
Hope fell from his expression, leaving behind a bleak stare. “No one else?”
“No. Why? Do you know something I don’t?”
His lips clamped shut until all the blood was pushed from them. He looked like he ached to say something, but instead he turned around and started walking away.
Grace grabbed his arm. The instant her fingertips touched his skin, he rocked to a halt. She swung in front of him just in time to see him close his eyes and brace himself. For what, she wasn’t sure.
“What aren’t you telling me?” she asked.
After what seemed like a long time, he finally opened his eyes and looked down at her. In the darkness, his amber gaze seemed to glow, catching flickering bits of torchlight along the path.
“I’m glad you remembered your family. That’s got to feel good.”
He hadn’t answered her question, but at least he wasn’t running away after she’d snapped at him. “I wish I knew more about them. I don’t even know if they’re still alive. What if they’re looking for me?”
