Willing Sacrifice

Page 55

Given the fact Gayle was dealing with Jenny’s fragile state and three demanding children, Janet expected being around another independent woman was like a bracing shot of whisky. Like Gayle, Janet was viewed as a mentor by most of her women friends, probably because she had no patience for the self-pitying, wallow-in-trumped-up-personal-baggage that seemed to be the norm these days. She was usually quick to shut down any female who was carping about issues that any woman could handle if she’d merely stop whining incessantly about it and take responsibility for her own life.
She decided she liked Gayle immensely. “Same goes,” she said, winning a warm smile, another press of that chapped hand.
It was like her feelings toward what had happened with Jorge. She’d done it, she couldn’t take it back, and she couldn’t make herself regret it. So she’d moved forward with her life. She refused to stay in that blood-soaked room in her mind when her body hadn’t been able to get out of there fast enough.
“Max seems to appreciate strong women,” she observed. “I like that about him.”
“Me too.” Gayle beamed at her, poured her more tea. “As they mature, a lot of the SEALs realize it’s the strong women who can handle a relationship with them for the long haul. Because reconciling yourself to his absences is only part of it. You also have to understand his bond with other SEALs.”
She shook her head. “It’s indescribable. Impenetrable. Did you know, when one of them falls, his fellow SEALs will each hammer their Trident into the top of his coffin, signifying he’s taking a part of them with him? I’ve had to see Charles do that twice, and both times, I prayed I’d never have to see them do it for him. But that’s the terrible, beautiful part of their connection. The other side of it is the one that can really test a marriage.
“If he’s just gotten home from a thirteen-month absence, but something comes up with one of them, he’s going to invite his buddy over, or take him a six-pack to help him out. That’s pretty tough. It makes a wife feel like she’s less important to her man than those guys, but if she pays close attention to the way he looks at her as he comes through the door, that hunger in his eyes, that sense that yes, there is something in the world worth fighting for, she’ll get it. He doesn’t look at anyone else the way he looks at you or his kids. You’re his anchor, you’re what he fights for, what he lives for. They may be adrenaline junkies, but they’re also human beings. When they’re in the thick of horrible violent stuff, the one thing they hold in their heads is getting back home. And you’re home.”
She looked over her shoulder at the young pregnant woman. “The problem is, that’s not always enough for a woman. I hope they make it. We try to help each other through. But that’s what we all do with those we love, right?”
“You aren’t in here telling her bad stuff, are you, Gayle?” Max opened the screen door, stepped onto the porch. “I’m counting on you to be my wingman, convince Janet how lucky she is to have me and all that.”
“I’m just astounded someone’s putting up with you. If she’s hit the two-week point, she deserves a medal.”
“No doubt.” He picked up Janet’s half-full glass of tea and drained it. He’d stripped off the shirt and had been sweating. He also had a leaf stuck to his lower back. Janet plucked it free, twirled it by the stem so he could see it. He grinned. “We had a wrestling match in the leaf piles. The boys are now re-raking what we messed up. I’ll go get you some more tea.”
He moved into the kitchen area, raising his voice as he disappeared around the corner. “Gayle, I took care of the stopped drain upstairs, but is there anything else you need me to handle while I’m here? I don’t want Chuckles to think I’m slacking off.”
“Well, I need to be serviced sexually, if you can work that in. And I’m sure Jenny wouldn’t mind a go if you could handle her as well.” Gayle winked at Janet at the sound of the glass hitting the sink. “He wasn’t expecting me to tease him like that in front of you,” she murmured. Janet bit back a smile as Max returned, shooting them both a narrow glance.
“Women,” he pronounced, putting a full glass down for Janet and topping off Gayle’s. “One is trouble enough. Get a pack of them together, and a smart man steers clear.”
“Damn straight.” Gayle toasted him. “If you can come back in a couple weeks, I’m going to have a barbecue for all of you guys that have been helping us out so much. Bring Janet, if she’s still putting up with you.”
“Absolutely,” he said. His gaze moved to Janet, a warm, lingering look that made her want to take her tea glass and slide it along the slick ridges of muscle on his abdomen, down to those belted jeans. She’d hook her fingers there and feel the intimate flesh beneath. Giving her a slow grin, he bent to brush his lips over hers, a promise.
“Got to finish the job,” he said. “Don’t believe any terrible things Gayle says about me.”
As he left the sun porch and headed back toward the front, they heard him roar. The boys had apparently planned an ambush, if the stray leaves that spun by on the light wind were any indication.
“At this rate, they’ll be raking for the rest of the day,” Janet observed. Gayle laughed.
“Most likely. But the main point is him spending time with the boys, letting them have male role models in their life as much as possible. For that, I’m happy to let those leaves pile up like snow drifts.”
She sobered then. “In a way, I’m glad you found Max after he was out of the SEALs, because you won’t have to deal with a lot of this, but unfortunately, he’ll figure out a way to find trouble. A lot of them go into law enforcement or related fields. It makes sense, doesn’t it? You don’t train to be a rocket scientist, work for NASA sending up rockets, and then find contentment as a cable guy. They have to live on that edge somehow. Except Max has a different scenario. His sister is his mission now. That helps, having the mission.”
Janet felt an uneasy ripple, once again thinking of her conversation with Dale in Max’s far-too-bare kitchen.
Seeing it, Gayle reached across, covered her hand. “All that aside, here’s what’s important. They’re all infuriating in their own way. They all have their code, their set way of doing things, and that’s pretty immovable, but Max is a very good man, in every sense of the word. If he gives a woman his heart, he’ll treat her right, whether it’s today or fifty years from now. If you realize that’s what matters, that the rest doesn’t, then you’ll find gold.”
Chapter Fourteen
She thought about that, as well as a lot of other things. They left Gayle’s early the next morning. Though Gayle had given them a bedroom to share, Max fell asleep in the living room with two of the boys sprawled on him, having indulged them in a horror-movie marathon. When they left in the morning, both women were up to see them off. Jenny even kissed Janet’s cheek, pressed her hand. The young woman looked in better spirits this morning, but as she gave Janet an intent look, she murmured, “You’re lucky to get one after they’re out of it.”
Max was standing behind Janet, giving Gayle a big hug, but she knew he heard it. When he turned to say his goodbyes to Jenny, he drew her to him for a warm embrace, holding her an extra moment, hand cupped over the back of her head. He said something to her, something that made her fingers tighten on his broad shoulders, then he eased back, touched her nose. “When I come back for that barbecue, you and me will go to the mall. We’ll snag one of those portable wheelchairs so I can zoom you around and your feet won’t get tired. I’m a trained chauffeur, after all.”
“And a combat driver. I have firsthand knowledge,” Janet added helpfully, making Jenny smile.
“Yep.” Gayle linked arms with Jenny. “Then when Lew gets back, you’ll tell him you expect him to do mall shopping just like Max does.”
Jenny snorted. “He’ll think of a reason to stay away for another six months if I tell him that.”
“No.” Max held her bleak gaze. “As soon as he can be back with the both of you, he will be, no matter how much mall shopping he has to do. I promise you that.”
When they were in the truck and well on their way, Janet looked toward him. He seemed a little tired from his late night with the boys, but otherwise content. He had her hand in his grip, lifting it to his mouth to brush a kiss over her knuckles. “What did you say to her, when you hugged her?” she asked.
“I told her it didn’t matter what corner of the world he’s in right now, all he’s thinking about is being back with her.”
“But don’t you think that raises the question ‘then why does he go away at all?’”
Max glanced at her. “Yeah. It’s a tough one for a lot of the women.”
He didn’t try to explain it. Perhaps he knew it was like what Gayle had implied to her. If a person didn’t intuitively understand it, they never would.
Sliding across the seat, she laid her head on his shoulder. Max shifted his arm around her, driving the deserted two-lane highway one-handed. The sun was rising, and the coffee Gayle had made gave the cab a pleasant aroma.
“Have you ever tried seeing how Amanda reacts to Dale, or one of the other SEALs?”
“Dale’s been to see her, and she likes him well enough. Aaron went with me a couple times as well. He lives up near Baton Rouge, but comes into New Orleans regularly to visit his mom when he’s here.” He squeezed her. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m wondering if you’ve ever tried to let one of them visit her without you, to see if she’d be okay with them as a substitute, if you stayed away for a slightly longer period, like a week or two. That way, if you wanted to go somewhere for a week’s vacation, you could do it.”
“It doesn’t work that way,” he said. “It’s me she looks for.”