Willing Sacrifice

Page 60

Now she wiggled her toes in the thick hiking socks he’d left on her feet. Her bra had been cast aside, her panties at her knees. “This is a sexy look,” she ventured. “I predict the Victoria’s Secret models will be walking the runway in their lingerie and knee-high camping socks at next year’s fashion show.”
He grinned against her jaw, sliding a hand down her belly to tease her mound with his long fingers, then tucked them between her legs, resting them against the slippery petals of flesh. “For the record, I find it a very sexy look. Much sexier than those stupid wings and New York fashion stuff they pile on them to detract from what us guys really want to see.”
“Mmm.” She tightened her thighs on his fingers, rubbing her ass against his damp cock.
“Stop that,” he mumbled. “Christ, you’re going to kill me. Take a nap.”
“You know, women in their forties are just hitting their sexual peak. You better build up some stamina, sailor.”
When he chuckled sleepily, she smiled against his biceps, pressed a kiss there. Then she became still against him, letting him ease into a light doze, content to be held by him as he slept. The current moment was all anyone was ever promised, after all. She wasn’t going to waste it on worry about tomorrow.
Chapter Fifteen
“What did you do to your fingers?” Lucas asked, touching one of the Superman Band-Aids Janet had on the pads of two of her fingers. “I like those, by the way.”
She examined the design. She’d bought them to tease Max, but the way he’d put them on her fingers, kissing them to take the hurt away afterward, had led to a different kind of teasing. “Max showed me how to use a bow when we went camping this weekend.”
“Was there video? I’d pay good money to see that.” Ben slid a hip on her desk. He peered at the Band-Aids as well, shook his head. “So did you take down a three-point stag? A forest ranger? Other campers?”
“I would never harm an animal for sport,” she informed him loftily. “And other campers only if they were annoying. No, we were target shooting.”
She’d thought of snipers as men with fancy, high-tech rifles, but she’d learned that high-powered bows were also used by SEAL snipers, to take out targets without the muzzle flash that could give away their position. He hadn’t brought one of those, of course, but a basic, decent-quality bow they could use for practice. They’d done that, gone hiking, eaten Gayle’s meals and enjoyed gorgeous scenery, special places Max knew from visiting the park before.
On the second night, when they were sitting by the fire, Janet had read to him. She’d brought a couple books, a Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child thriller, as well as a biography of Margaret Thatcher. He’d asked her to read to him from the thriller, stretching out on his side, teasing a lock of her hair, occasionally pressing a kiss to her hip where she sat on a log. When he noticed her shifting from the log’s hardness, he changed their positions, putting her between his legs, becoming her chair on the soft forest floor, letting her lie back against his chest while he propped against the log.
He might make her a camper yet. It had been peaceful, in a very different, very pleasing way.
“You will locate no YouTube footage of this trip,” she informed Ben. “And get off my desk. I have work to do.”
He grinned and rose. “I told Marcie what you said, about helping her with the wedding. She’ll probably be calling soon. Why a wedding needs to be planned this far in advance, I have no clue, but I’m leaving it to you women. You all just tell me when to show up.”
“I’ll pencil it into your calendar,” Janet said dryly. “And add a weekly reminder, so you don’t plan anything over it.”
“Good idea,” Lucas snorted. The two men moved into Matt’s office for their morning meet. It would be a short one, because in an hour they’d all be at the airport, on their way to South America for the next three days to oversee the ownership transfer of a plant there. Max wasn’t on schedule today, and she knew he was going to visit Amanda after dropping Dana off at her church. She wondered if he’d come back by the office to have lunch with her, but Dana might pull him into doing some volunteer task at her place. Or maybe he had some other errands to handle, or something going on with Dale. She’d just spent several days with him, for Heaven’s sake. They weren’t at the point they were reporting schedules to one another, after all, and she was both amused and irritated at herself for thinking along those lines.
Get a grip, Janet.
Still, when lunchtime came, and the office was quiet without any of the K&A men around, she decided to take the trolley to Dana’s church. Ben and Marcie wanted Dana to officiate, so she and Janet could go ahead and discuss some early details. It was a gorgeous afternoon in New Orleans and she’d enjoy the stroll from the trolley to the church, as long as she wasn’t mugged in the dubious neighborhood where it was located. The Taser in her purse was there for backup, but usually her direct, icy stare told any idlers she wasn’t an easy target.
When she entered the church through the office area, the church secretary told her Dana was in with the minister. “But if you want to wait in the nave, Ms. Albright, I’ll send her to you when she comes out of the meeting. Probably about fifteen minutes.”
Janet nodded. “Is Max Ackerman here?”
“No ma’am. He was out at the basketball court earlier, but I think Dana said he had to run an errand.”
Janet nodded, then followed the hallway to the main body of the church, taking the side door into the cool chamber. As she moved down the aisle between the pews, she absorbed that universal hush, the sense of peace, that all churches seemed to contain. It made her think about their birch forest, how similar the two places were.
She’d never considered herself much of an outdoorsy person, but there was something to be said for camping with a man who knew how to care for a woman, cushioning her from the more unpleasant aspects of outdoor living. He’d had bug spray, toilet paper, wine, homemade lasagna…the man was a treasure.
She slipped into the second pew from the front, studying the altar. The wooden crucifix had been carved by one of the parishioners, primitive and moving at once, the stretch of Jesus’ arms, the agony of his lean body, contrasting with the acceptance on his face. If a person chose to believe the story, he’d seen both the good and evil in men’s hearts and loved all of them anyway.
She thought of Jorge, the things he’d done to her, to others. The world he’d inhabited had been a world of violence and blood. Yet at one time, he’d been a baby in some mother’s arms. Had his mother hoped for good things for him, the way Max’s mother had hoped for her son? What would Mary have done if the angel had told her the whole story? Yes, her son would bring hope to the world, but he’d also be betrayed and crucified. He’d die an excruciating death when he was barely in his thirties, because of the message of peace and hope he’d brought.
What would Jorge’s mother have done if she was told the baby in her arms would beat a woman’s legs into broken kindling, smash her face, all to keep her with him?
Rising, she moved to the altar. While Dana’s church wasn’t Catholic, she’d suggested the tradition of having candles available so people could light them for loved ones, to add to the strength of their prayers. Peter’s wife didn’t hesitate to mix religious traditions to capture the interest and needs of her parishioners. Janet picked up the taper, put it in the flame of one of the lit candles. Her hand was trembling, she noticed, her chest tight, but she firmed her grip, took a breath and touched the taper to an unlit candle.
All these years, and she’d spared no thought to Jorge, blocking him out of her mind, trying to get ahead of the horror he’d inflicted upon her, trying to keep it contained. Perhaps they were right, that love opened unexpected rooms in one’s heart, because for the first time, she gave an ounce of her compassion to the man he might have been. To the mother who bore him, the hopes she’d harbored for him. She also lit the candle as hope that maybe there’d be a day when every heart would embrace love over hate.
She couldn’t go further with it than that, but it was far more than she’d ever given. She also asked forgiveness for taking a life. She couldn’t have done it differently, wouldn’t have, but she could feel regret over the act itself.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured to the still air. Sorry could cover a lot of things, and it felt better saying it, as if a small weight was lifted off her heart. Yes, falling in love could suck. But it could also bring better things.
“Janet?”
Swiping away the small tear that had escaped her eye, Janet turned to see Dana at the entrance to the sanctuary, her fingertips resting on the doorframe. “I’m here.”
Dana came down the aisle, sweeping her cane ahead of her, comfortable enough with the surroundings that it appeared mostly a precaution. “This is an unexpected surprise. Were you getting too much work done without them underfoot? You needed spiritual counseling to handle the shock?”
“Pretty much.” Janet laughed. “No, I thought it was a nice day to be out, and I figured I’d stop by and—”
“See if Max was here. Since he’s not, you’ll tell me you came to talk about the wedding so he doesn’t find out you’re stalking him.”
“You know, I’m starting to understand why Rachel pinches you all the time.”
Dana grinned, gesturing to the pews nearest them so they could both take a seat. “Max was here earlier this morning, repairing the basketball goal, but he headed out about midmorning. One of the kids said the goal’s not fixed yet, so I assume he needed another tool and got tied up with something else. Since he’s picking me up this afternoon, he’ll likely come back in time to finish the goal and take me home.”
“Most likely.” Yet Janet glanced down at her phone, her brow furrowing. Max often sent her texts throughout his day. She hadn’t had one since he’d left her bed this morning. She’d gotten busy with the guys, had thought about sending him one on the trolley, but figured if she was going to be seeing him… She admitted part of the reason she hadn’t sent one was she enjoyed the messages he devised to coax her to text him back.