Wings of the Wicked
Page 36
“Are you better?” he asked, placing his hand over mine.
“Yes, much.”
He rewarded me with a smile.
“Will you dance with me tonight?”
The smile faded and he hesitated before answering. “Ellie—”
“Forget it,” I said, and stomped away from him. He called my name, but I didn’t turn back.
Marcus appeared in front of me with a pitying look. “You should have worn a different dress.”
I folded my arms over my chest. “I thought you liked it.”
“Oh, very much, but you’re killing your Guardian over there,” Marcus said with a nod in Will’s direction.
I rolled my eyes and tried not to blush. “Well, he’s killing me too.” But the last thing I wanted to do was talk to Marcus about my problems with Will. “Can I talk to you about Kate, actually?”
He frowned. “You may.”
“You understand what a bad idea it is, right?”
“I understand your concern,” he said. “But if it’s worth anything to you, I do care about her. She means something to me.”
“Why?” I asked. “You’re two hundred years old. How many girls have you met, slept with, fallen in love with? How is Kate the one to tame you?”
He laughed. “You have it all wrong. Kate is special. She’s a beautiful creature, tough to keep up with, and always gives you everything she’s got. But you have to understand. I am immortal. Nothing holds an immortal’s attention for very long, save for one exception. You and your Will.”
“Will is my Guardian,” I snapped back. “It’s different.”
He huffed and grinned. “Sure it is.”
“My situation with Will is not an excuse for you to get innocent human girls to fall in love with you and get into your bed.”
“Believe me,” he said. “I don’t intend to hurt Kate. It’s quite the opposite, actually.”
“But you intend to leave her when you get bored.”
“You completely underestimate her.”
“How so?” I asked defiantly.
“Do you really think she’ll be heartbroken over me? She’s not that kind of girl. She would move on from me in no time.”
I narrowed my gaze. “Maybe you’re right, but she’s starting to fall for you, Marcus. You know how wrong this is.”
“How is it any different from you and Will?”
“We aren’t together.”
“Come on, Ellie,” he said. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re both mad about each other—have been for as long as I’ve known either of you, and longer still.”
“We can’t be together,” I clarified. “For a million reasons, including the same reason you and Kate will never work out.”
The amusement washed away from his expression. “At least you’ll always return when you die.”
I stared at him. “Then you should at least know better than to end up hurting yourself, let alone Kate. It’s a little masochistic, don’t you think?”
He leaned toward me, anger tracing his brow. “And have you thought of the effects on Will? As each of your lifetimes passes, he’s still steady as stone for you. Yes, perhaps I will mourn Kate, but I will only ever mourn her once.”
He spun away from me, his anger washing away any trace of his charisma and smoothness. I turned away from the crowd to face the wall, and an awful sob escaped me. I rushed for the bathroom as the music and roar of the party came crashing down on my head.
Just as I got to the door, I felt a warm, strong hand on my bare arm.
“Ellie.”
I turned to face Will. His crystalline green gaze was compassionate and worried. “I’m fine,” I said sharply.
“No, you’re not.” He always knew.
I pulled away. “Don’t you care about yourself?”
He blinked in confusion. “What?”
“Never mind,” I said, putting my back to him, and I kept going.
“Ellie,” he called after me, following me. “You’re confusing me. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Did I do something wrong?”
I turned toward him and leaned against the wall beside the bathroom door. “Why do you do this to yourself? Torture yourself by staying as my Guardian?”
He leaned over me until I was drowning in him. “Ellie—”
“I know why you won’t be with me,” I said, straightening myself against the wall. “It’s not just that you’re afraid of Michael. It’s because the only way we can stay together is for me to die over and over again.”
Will closed his eyes and tightened his mouth without a response, but I knew what he was thinking. Rules he could break. Michael he could fight. He was most afraid that if he let down the wall he built up between us, then it would hurt too much to give in and love me as much as he ached to. If he did, I would still die regardless, and he would finally break.
I took a step back from him, and he let me go without protest. I didn’t look away from him until I was inside the bathroom. The door shut behind me and I locked it. My back hit the wall, and I slid to the floor and cried. I heard his fist pound once on the wall in anger, just outside the room. I didn’t want to end the night crying on the bathroom floor. It was so hard for me to see him every day and want him so badly, but yet again I had forgotten about how much it hurt him to feel the same way. It was so painful for us to be apart, but I didn’t know if either of us was strong enough to be together.
“Yes, much.”
He rewarded me with a smile.
“Will you dance with me tonight?”
The smile faded and he hesitated before answering. “Ellie—”
“Forget it,” I said, and stomped away from him. He called my name, but I didn’t turn back.
Marcus appeared in front of me with a pitying look. “You should have worn a different dress.”
I folded my arms over my chest. “I thought you liked it.”
“Oh, very much, but you’re killing your Guardian over there,” Marcus said with a nod in Will’s direction.
I rolled my eyes and tried not to blush. “Well, he’s killing me too.” But the last thing I wanted to do was talk to Marcus about my problems with Will. “Can I talk to you about Kate, actually?”
He frowned. “You may.”
“You understand what a bad idea it is, right?”
“I understand your concern,” he said. “But if it’s worth anything to you, I do care about her. She means something to me.”
“Why?” I asked. “You’re two hundred years old. How many girls have you met, slept with, fallen in love with? How is Kate the one to tame you?”
He laughed. “You have it all wrong. Kate is special. She’s a beautiful creature, tough to keep up with, and always gives you everything she’s got. But you have to understand. I am immortal. Nothing holds an immortal’s attention for very long, save for one exception. You and your Will.”
“Will is my Guardian,” I snapped back. “It’s different.”
He huffed and grinned. “Sure it is.”
“My situation with Will is not an excuse for you to get innocent human girls to fall in love with you and get into your bed.”
“Believe me,” he said. “I don’t intend to hurt Kate. It’s quite the opposite, actually.”
“But you intend to leave her when you get bored.”
“You completely underestimate her.”
“How so?” I asked defiantly.
“Do you really think she’ll be heartbroken over me? She’s not that kind of girl. She would move on from me in no time.”
I narrowed my gaze. “Maybe you’re right, but she’s starting to fall for you, Marcus. You know how wrong this is.”
“How is it any different from you and Will?”
“We aren’t together.”
“Come on, Ellie,” he said. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re both mad about each other—have been for as long as I’ve known either of you, and longer still.”
“We can’t be together,” I clarified. “For a million reasons, including the same reason you and Kate will never work out.”
The amusement washed away from his expression. “At least you’ll always return when you die.”
I stared at him. “Then you should at least know better than to end up hurting yourself, let alone Kate. It’s a little masochistic, don’t you think?”
He leaned toward me, anger tracing his brow. “And have you thought of the effects on Will? As each of your lifetimes passes, he’s still steady as stone for you. Yes, perhaps I will mourn Kate, but I will only ever mourn her once.”
He spun away from me, his anger washing away any trace of his charisma and smoothness. I turned away from the crowd to face the wall, and an awful sob escaped me. I rushed for the bathroom as the music and roar of the party came crashing down on my head.
Just as I got to the door, I felt a warm, strong hand on my bare arm.
“Ellie.”
I turned to face Will. His crystalline green gaze was compassionate and worried. “I’m fine,” I said sharply.
“No, you’re not.” He always knew.
I pulled away. “Don’t you care about yourself?”
He blinked in confusion. “What?”
“Never mind,” I said, putting my back to him, and I kept going.
“Ellie,” he called after me, following me. “You’re confusing me. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Did I do something wrong?”
I turned toward him and leaned against the wall beside the bathroom door. “Why do you do this to yourself? Torture yourself by staying as my Guardian?”
He leaned over me until I was drowning in him. “Ellie—”
“I know why you won’t be with me,” I said, straightening myself against the wall. “It’s not just that you’re afraid of Michael. It’s because the only way we can stay together is for me to die over and over again.”
Will closed his eyes and tightened his mouth without a response, but I knew what he was thinking. Rules he could break. Michael he could fight. He was most afraid that if he let down the wall he built up between us, then it would hurt too much to give in and love me as much as he ached to. If he did, I would still die regardless, and he would finally break.
I took a step back from him, and he let me go without protest. I didn’t look away from him until I was inside the bathroom. The door shut behind me and I locked it. My back hit the wall, and I slid to the floor and cried. I heard his fist pound once on the wall in anger, just outside the room. I didn’t want to end the night crying on the bathroom floor. It was so hard for me to see him every day and want him so badly, but yet again I had forgotten about how much it hurt him to feel the same way. It was so painful for us to be apart, but I didn’t know if either of us was strong enough to be together.
