With All My Soul
Page 105
But were arguing about my time. My suffering. And I cant do a decade. There wouldnt be enough of me left to rescue.
A year. Youll be paid more than you can possibly imagine, and youll continue to collect from Avari for years, I point out. Decades, maybe. If a hellions memory is infinite, who knows how long he can hold a grudge?
Little flame, I have quite a capable imagination, as does your hellion of avarice. But if I am to protect your loved ones on your behalf, you must suffer on mine. For years. That is how this works.
My heart races in panic. This will fall apart if I cant secure Iras help. My father will die. He will suffer for eternity because I couldnt save him. My friends will be hunted, one by one.
I have no choice. Fine. Three years. As measured in the human world. I can already feel the promised years slipping away from me, and I am terrified of what my time in hell will bring.
Five. Not a day less.
Four, and you can feed from them, too. A last-minute stroke of brilliance on my part. While you protect my friends and family, you can have their anger. Their grief for me. Take it. Feed from it in my absence. A reciprocal relationship that would surely benefit everyone.
Ira thinks for several minutes, staring at me until my skin begins to crawl in discomfort. Have I messed this up? Have I forgotten something?
Then, finally, he nods. Shall we seal it with a kiss?
If I must. But theres one more thing. I need you to make me forget about this. Take the memory of our bargain, so Avari cant find it.
That will be my pleasure, my little roaring flame....
* * *
When he pulled away, the world stopped spinning so fast that I almost fell over. I blinked. I licked the inside of my lip and tasted my own blood. Then I looked down at the dingy scrap of linenmaybe white, oncewrapped loosely around me like a towel.
I was dirty and bruised, but not scarred and no thinner than when Id arrived. Avari must have just put me back together, intending to rip me apart all over again.
I glanced at the filthy room around me, and I almost asked how long Id been there. Was it four years to the day? The memories felt numerous enough to fill a century, though they were eerily hollow now, without the pain and anger hed drained from them.
It worked. I hardly dared to believe it. What if this was part of the torturewhat if Avari was letting me believe I was free, only to pull me back into hell, where I would suffer anew? Hed certainly done it before.
My toes curled in the dirt on the floor. Is it over? I looked up at Ira andfound him smiling the smile of the thoroughly intoxicated. He was drunk on my pain and fury. On the insanity hed slurped from my soul, leaving me only the bits I could handle.
So far, so good.
Ira, is it over? Candlelight flickered over the scrap of my clothing, and he finally looked down at me.
Almost, little flame. Your knight has arrived.
Youre not my knight. Please say youre not my knight....
No, that was a temporary role, and one that has never fit me well. Knights appear to work for honor, a concept Im not sure I even fully understand. I work for profit.
Of course he did. He was a hellion, and hellions were evil. He hadnt helped mehed performed services in exchange for payment. Years worth of payment. Could it really have been only four? It felt like eternity....
Your knight is fairer than I, and less powerful, but much more determined on his mission. Did I mention that hes here?
Hes here. Tod had come to say the words Id left for him. Words hed had no way of understanding until Ira delivered my second letter to him. Until hed readin my handwritingthat Levi had lied, and that I wasnt gone.
I stood up straight and buried the memories, ignoring the desperate impatience nipping at the edges of my miserable existence. Lets go.
The hellion held his hand out, and I took it. A second later, we stood in another room, so fast I had no time to process the change. This room was larger, and populated with dozens of terrifying species I didnt quite recognize, but didnt find unfamiliar, either. Had I seen them during my torture?
My bare feet were silent on the dusty stone floor. Linen whispered against my skin as I moved. Avaris voice was like needles shoved through my ears and into my brain.
Just because I cannot hurt you does not mean that no one in the Nether will. I cannot decide if you are flaunting courage or idiocy today, reaper.
Reaper!
My heart jolted back to life when I saw him, standing alone among monsters, feet spread, fists clenched. His curls were golden like pure sunlight, which had surely never shone in the Netherworld. He looked the same. Like time had stood still around him while it had stretched monstrously around me.
Neither. Im flaunting words. Tods voice touched places inside me that had not felt kindness in...longer than I could even comprehend. I had to bite my tongue to keep from calling out to him through the crowd. My hands itched to touch him. My mouth longed for a taste of him. But I couldnt let Avari see me until the formalities were over. Until he knew he was bound by his own word to let me go. Specifically, the ones she said to you.
A year. Youll be paid more than you can possibly imagine, and youll continue to collect from Avari for years, I point out. Decades, maybe. If a hellions memory is infinite, who knows how long he can hold a grudge?
Little flame, I have quite a capable imagination, as does your hellion of avarice. But if I am to protect your loved ones on your behalf, you must suffer on mine. For years. That is how this works.
My heart races in panic. This will fall apart if I cant secure Iras help. My father will die. He will suffer for eternity because I couldnt save him. My friends will be hunted, one by one.
I have no choice. Fine. Three years. As measured in the human world. I can already feel the promised years slipping away from me, and I am terrified of what my time in hell will bring.
Five. Not a day less.
Four, and you can feed from them, too. A last-minute stroke of brilliance on my part. While you protect my friends and family, you can have their anger. Their grief for me. Take it. Feed from it in my absence. A reciprocal relationship that would surely benefit everyone.
Ira thinks for several minutes, staring at me until my skin begins to crawl in discomfort. Have I messed this up? Have I forgotten something?
Then, finally, he nods. Shall we seal it with a kiss?
If I must. But theres one more thing. I need you to make me forget about this. Take the memory of our bargain, so Avari cant find it.
That will be my pleasure, my little roaring flame....
* * *
When he pulled away, the world stopped spinning so fast that I almost fell over. I blinked. I licked the inside of my lip and tasted my own blood. Then I looked down at the dingy scrap of linenmaybe white, oncewrapped loosely around me like a towel.
I was dirty and bruised, but not scarred and no thinner than when Id arrived. Avari must have just put me back together, intending to rip me apart all over again.
I glanced at the filthy room around me, and I almost asked how long Id been there. Was it four years to the day? The memories felt numerous enough to fill a century, though they were eerily hollow now, without the pain and anger hed drained from them.
It worked. I hardly dared to believe it. What if this was part of the torturewhat if Avari was letting me believe I was free, only to pull me back into hell, where I would suffer anew? Hed certainly done it before.
My toes curled in the dirt on the floor. Is it over? I looked up at Ira andfound him smiling the smile of the thoroughly intoxicated. He was drunk on my pain and fury. On the insanity hed slurped from my soul, leaving me only the bits I could handle.
So far, so good.
Ira, is it over? Candlelight flickered over the scrap of my clothing, and he finally looked down at me.
Almost, little flame. Your knight has arrived.
Youre not my knight. Please say youre not my knight....
No, that was a temporary role, and one that has never fit me well. Knights appear to work for honor, a concept Im not sure I even fully understand. I work for profit.
Of course he did. He was a hellion, and hellions were evil. He hadnt helped mehed performed services in exchange for payment. Years worth of payment. Could it really have been only four? It felt like eternity....
Your knight is fairer than I, and less powerful, but much more determined on his mission. Did I mention that hes here?
Hes here. Tod had come to say the words Id left for him. Words hed had no way of understanding until Ira delivered my second letter to him. Until hed readin my handwritingthat Levi had lied, and that I wasnt gone.
I stood up straight and buried the memories, ignoring the desperate impatience nipping at the edges of my miserable existence. Lets go.
The hellion held his hand out, and I took it. A second later, we stood in another room, so fast I had no time to process the change. This room was larger, and populated with dozens of terrifying species I didnt quite recognize, but didnt find unfamiliar, either. Had I seen them during my torture?
My bare feet were silent on the dusty stone floor. Linen whispered against my skin as I moved. Avaris voice was like needles shoved through my ears and into my brain.
Just because I cannot hurt you does not mean that no one in the Nether will. I cannot decide if you are flaunting courage or idiocy today, reaper.
Reaper!
My heart jolted back to life when I saw him, standing alone among monsters, feet spread, fists clenched. His curls were golden like pure sunlight, which had surely never shone in the Netherworld. He looked the same. Like time had stood still around him while it had stretched monstrously around me.
Neither. Im flaunting words. Tods voice touched places inside me that had not felt kindness in...longer than I could even comprehend. I had to bite my tongue to keep from calling out to him through the crowd. My hands itched to touch him. My mouth longed for a taste of him. But I couldnt let Avari see me until the formalities were over. Until he knew he was bound by his own word to let me go. Specifically, the ones she said to you.
