With All My Soul
Page 2
Sabine stared at us both. The funeral hadnt upset her at all, that I could see, and she obviously didnt understand why it had bothered us, beyond the lie we were telling the world, since Emma was still alive and mostly well.
Thank you. Ms. Marshall sniffled again, and she didnt seem to notice that her own heels were sinking into the soft earth. I know Emma would be happy if she could see you all here now.
Em sobbed harder.
Im sorry, I dont believe weve met. Ms. Marshall dabbed her eyes with a damp tissue and held one hand out to her own daughter.
Emma cleared her throat and shook her mothers hand. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.
This is my cousin. Emily, I said. Shes just lost her parents, so shell be staying with me and my dad. That was the best story we could come up with. It was heavy on coincidence, but just as heavy on necessityEm had to live somewhere, now that shed lost everything shed ever had. Except for us.
Ms. Marshalls expression crumbled beneath a new layer of sympathetic grief, and her voice shook. Im so sorry for your loss, Emily.
But if Em heard her, I couldnt tell.
She loved you so much! Emma threw her arms around her mother and buried her tear-streaked face in her moms hair. She wouldnt want you to forget about her, but she doesnt want you to worry either. Or to... Em nearly choked on her own tears, and we all stood there looking as helpless as Ms. Marshall looked confused and...devastated. She was crying again, and so was I. Or to...you know...stop living. She wants you to live, Em said into her mothers ear. And to hug Traci and Cara a lot. And to make yourself happy. Shes sorry she called your boyfriend an idiot. It shouldnt matter that hes kind of stupid, if he makes you happy, so Emma would want you to go for it.
She finally released her mother and stepped back, wiping tears with her bare hands. So you should go for it.
Ms. Marshalls tissue was soaked and when she blinked, more tears fell. I didnt realize you knew Emma. Do you go to Eastlake?
She will, I said, when I realized Ems flood of words had dried up, leaving her speechless and evidently mortified by her outburst. But she knew Emma from...before. We were all three really close. I couldnt tell whether or not Ms. Marshall believed meor whether she was even capable of thinking my hasty explanation through at the momentbut she nodded and wiped at her cheeks again.
Kaylee, when you feel up to it, I hope youll come over and take something from Emmas room. To remember her by. Im sure shed want you to have whatever youd like.
We will, Em said before I could speak.
Ms. Marshall frowned, then nodded again and startedbacking away from us in heels crusted with mud from the recent rain. Thank you all for coming. Then her two remaining daughters each put an arm around her and led her to the long black car waiting with its engine running.
I think I scared her, Emma whispered, clutching my hand.
Yup. Sabines nearly black eyes were dilated and her mouth hung open just a little. As a maraa living NightmareSabine fed on fear, but shed been going hungry a lot lately, since grief and anger had finally overwhelmed the nearly constant state of fear wed all been living in for the past few months.
Im pretty sure its rude to feed from the dead girls family at a funeral, Nash said, one arm around her waist, his fingers curled around her narrow hip. He used to hold me like that. I used to like it. But Nash and I were over. Wed been over before we even knew we were over, and I still wasnt sure hed completely accepted that yet. But it made me feel better to see him touch her in public.
Hed been touching her in private since the very day we broke up.
Sabine lifted both brows at him. You expect me to believe that if someone threw a pie in your face at a funeral you wouldnt lick your lips?
If someone threw a pie in my face at a funeral, Id... Nash frowned. Well, thatd be really weird.
Weirder than seeing yourself buried? Tods hand slid into my grip, his fingers curling around mine, now that there was no one near enough to see me holding hands with empty air. No one except Sophie, my real cousin, and her boyfriend, Luca, who watched us from the other side of the open grave. They knew all about Tod. In fact, my undead reaper boyfriend hardly even registered as strange to Sophie anymore, considering that her own boyfriend was a necromancer. And that Luca and Sabine were the only ones among us whod never died.
Nashs death was classified information, available on a need-to-know basis, and so far, his mom and brother didnt think anyone needed to know. Including Nash.
Emma and I had both died twice, and for me, that second one actually stuck. Now I was a resurrected American, better known, in colloquial terms, as life-challenged. Or undead. Or the living dead. But Im not a zombie. Im just a little less alive than your average high school junior.
No, Nash said, in that short-tempered voice he seemed to save just for his brother. Having a pie thrown in my face at a funeral would not be weirder than seeing myself buried.
Then Em wins this round. He glanced around at the last of the mourners, including my father, who leaned on his crutch, chatting softly with Harmony, Tod and Nashs mom, and his own brothermy uncle Brendon. Lets get out of here. Ive had enough death for one day.
Thank you. Ms. Marshall sniffled again, and she didnt seem to notice that her own heels were sinking into the soft earth. I know Emma would be happy if she could see you all here now.
Em sobbed harder.
Im sorry, I dont believe weve met. Ms. Marshall dabbed her eyes with a damp tissue and held one hand out to her own daughter.
Emma cleared her throat and shook her mothers hand. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.
This is my cousin. Emily, I said. Shes just lost her parents, so shell be staying with me and my dad. That was the best story we could come up with. It was heavy on coincidence, but just as heavy on necessityEm had to live somewhere, now that shed lost everything shed ever had. Except for us.
Ms. Marshalls expression crumbled beneath a new layer of sympathetic grief, and her voice shook. Im so sorry for your loss, Emily.
But if Em heard her, I couldnt tell.
She loved you so much! Emma threw her arms around her mother and buried her tear-streaked face in her moms hair. She wouldnt want you to forget about her, but she doesnt want you to worry either. Or to... Em nearly choked on her own tears, and we all stood there looking as helpless as Ms. Marshall looked confused and...devastated. She was crying again, and so was I. Or to...you know...stop living. She wants you to live, Em said into her mothers ear. And to hug Traci and Cara a lot. And to make yourself happy. Shes sorry she called your boyfriend an idiot. It shouldnt matter that hes kind of stupid, if he makes you happy, so Emma would want you to go for it.
She finally released her mother and stepped back, wiping tears with her bare hands. So you should go for it.
Ms. Marshalls tissue was soaked and when she blinked, more tears fell. I didnt realize you knew Emma. Do you go to Eastlake?
She will, I said, when I realized Ems flood of words had dried up, leaving her speechless and evidently mortified by her outburst. But she knew Emma from...before. We were all three really close. I couldnt tell whether or not Ms. Marshall believed meor whether she was even capable of thinking my hasty explanation through at the momentbut she nodded and wiped at her cheeks again.
Kaylee, when you feel up to it, I hope youll come over and take something from Emmas room. To remember her by. Im sure shed want you to have whatever youd like.
We will, Em said before I could speak.
Ms. Marshall frowned, then nodded again and startedbacking away from us in heels crusted with mud from the recent rain. Thank you all for coming. Then her two remaining daughters each put an arm around her and led her to the long black car waiting with its engine running.
I think I scared her, Emma whispered, clutching my hand.
Yup. Sabines nearly black eyes were dilated and her mouth hung open just a little. As a maraa living NightmareSabine fed on fear, but shed been going hungry a lot lately, since grief and anger had finally overwhelmed the nearly constant state of fear wed all been living in for the past few months.
Im pretty sure its rude to feed from the dead girls family at a funeral, Nash said, one arm around her waist, his fingers curled around her narrow hip. He used to hold me like that. I used to like it. But Nash and I were over. Wed been over before we even knew we were over, and I still wasnt sure hed completely accepted that yet. But it made me feel better to see him touch her in public.
Hed been touching her in private since the very day we broke up.
Sabine lifted both brows at him. You expect me to believe that if someone threw a pie in your face at a funeral you wouldnt lick your lips?
If someone threw a pie in my face at a funeral, Id... Nash frowned. Well, thatd be really weird.
Weirder than seeing yourself buried? Tods hand slid into my grip, his fingers curling around mine, now that there was no one near enough to see me holding hands with empty air. No one except Sophie, my real cousin, and her boyfriend, Luca, who watched us from the other side of the open grave. They knew all about Tod. In fact, my undead reaper boyfriend hardly even registered as strange to Sophie anymore, considering that her own boyfriend was a necromancer. And that Luca and Sabine were the only ones among us whod never died.
Nashs death was classified information, available on a need-to-know basis, and so far, his mom and brother didnt think anyone needed to know. Including Nash.
Emma and I had both died twice, and for me, that second one actually stuck. Now I was a resurrected American, better known, in colloquial terms, as life-challenged. Or undead. Or the living dead. But Im not a zombie. Im just a little less alive than your average high school junior.
No, Nash said, in that short-tempered voice he seemed to save just for his brother. Having a pie thrown in my face at a funeral would not be weirder than seeing myself buried.
Then Em wins this round. He glanced around at the last of the mourners, including my father, who leaned on his crutch, chatting softly with Harmony, Tod and Nashs mom, and his own brothermy uncle Brendon. Lets get out of here. Ive had enough death for one day.
