With All My Soul
Page 32
Youre telling me that my son will be a psychological rapist, right? Harmony nodded, and for the first time since wed arrived at Emmas house she looked uncomfortable to be there. Well, I dont accept that, Traci continued. You may know what this baby will be, but you dont know who hell be. You cant possibly know how much nurture can affect his nature, and you dont have any right to judge him now for crimes he may commit sixteen years from now. And you dont have the right to judge the kind of mother Im going to be. The kind who would never let her child turn into the monster youre describing. He deserves a chance. I deserve a chance. And hes mine. Tears filled her eyes again, and she sniffled, trying to hold herself together.
Trace Emma started, but her sister interrupted.
No! You cant just come in here and tell me that this thing happened to me. This thing I couldnt stop and didnt even understand. You cant tell me that this murdering bastard came into my house and got into my head and scrambled everything up, and made me think I wanted him to do what he did, and that none of what I felt about that was real. That the whole thing was...corrupt. She gestured angrily at the front door and at her own head as she spoke, and my heart beat so hard my chest ached from the pounding. You cant come in here and tell me all that, then tell me I cant keep the one good thing to come out of the most horrible thing thats ever happened to me. He might have taken a decision away from me, but youre not going to. This is my choice. This is my baby. Traci stood, staring boldly down at the sister shed just rediscovered. Im not going to end my pregnancy. If thats what you expect me to do, then...get out. Thanks for coming and telling me all these horrible things, but now you need to go. All of you. Now.
Wait. Emma stood. Unspent tears trembled in her eyes. Wait. She turned to me. We have to help her.
Em, theres nothing I could do. Id rarely felt more helpless. More useless. But we were way out of my league.
She just needs a soul. You can get her a soul. I know you can. Youre a bean sidhe, and youre a reclamationist. Or whatever. Right?
Traci looked so suddenly hopeful that my heart broke for her all over again. Can you?
No! Im sorry, but it doesnt work like that. I dont get to keep the souls I reclaim! I have to turn them in. And its not like I have extras lying around. But as soon as Id said it, I realized that might not be true.
What? Ems gaze narrowed on me. What are you thinking?
Nothing. Just...maybe. It might be possible. But I cant promise anything.
Harmony stood, her hands opening andclosing at her sides like she was nervous. Like we were making her nervous. Girls, this wont work. Its not our place to...give people souls that dont belong to them. Thats beyond what a bean sidhe can do. Its beyond what were supposed to do.
But Kaylee did it! She put my soul here in Lydias body, so I know she could do that for Tracis baby. If we had a soul for him.
Harmony blinked. She opened her mouth like shed make another objection or tell us how dangerous that idea was. But nothing came out.
But finding a soul for your baby will be a moot point if you dont survive the pregnancy, I said, and Tracis expression fell so far I thought her jaw might actually drop off her face.
Emma turned to Harmony. You have another vial in your purse, dont you? Her voice was quiet. Sad. Thoughtful. What does the other vial do?
Its a mixture of some plants and roots from the Netherworld. For Traci. For if she decides to end her pregnancy. She reached into her purse and pulled out a second plastic vial a quarter of the way full with a pale yellow liquid. This is the safest way.
If you can do that... Ems voice broke, and I realized she was crying. If you can help her lose the baby safely...cant you help her keep it safely? Isnt there some plant or root in the Netherworld that can...I dont know. Boost her immune system, or give her a superdose of vitamins, or somehow make her healthy enough to carry the baby to term?
Emma, Traci, I know this is hard, but the chances of this ending well are so small, Harmony said.
Em swiped one arm across her eyes angrily. No. This is my nephew were talking about. And my sister. Shes lost enough already. She cant lose the baby, too. If you can help her, you have to.
Harmony sighed. She closed her eyes, and her lips moved without making any sound. Like she was praying. When she finally looked at us again, her blue eyes were swirling with...sadness. Or maybe regret. I couldnt tell for sure. Id never seen her unable to control the swirling before.
I cant promise anything. I can help, but...there are no guarantees. The chances are still slim
Ill take them. Traci wiped tears from her cheeks. Ill take those chances. Please. Ill do whatever you want. Ill pay you. Just please do whatever you can for my baby.
Oh, honey... Harmony took Tracis hand and pulled her closer. I would never charge you. I just need you to understand that I have no idea whether or not this will work. Well have to take it day by day. And your baby may come early. We may have to make him come early, if your body starts to fail you.
Trace Emma started, but her sister interrupted.
No! You cant just come in here and tell me that this thing happened to me. This thing I couldnt stop and didnt even understand. You cant tell me that this murdering bastard came into my house and got into my head and scrambled everything up, and made me think I wanted him to do what he did, and that none of what I felt about that was real. That the whole thing was...corrupt. She gestured angrily at the front door and at her own head as she spoke, and my heart beat so hard my chest ached from the pounding. You cant come in here and tell me all that, then tell me I cant keep the one good thing to come out of the most horrible thing thats ever happened to me. He might have taken a decision away from me, but youre not going to. This is my choice. This is my baby. Traci stood, staring boldly down at the sister shed just rediscovered. Im not going to end my pregnancy. If thats what you expect me to do, then...get out. Thanks for coming and telling me all these horrible things, but now you need to go. All of you. Now.
Wait. Emma stood. Unspent tears trembled in her eyes. Wait. She turned to me. We have to help her.
Em, theres nothing I could do. Id rarely felt more helpless. More useless. But we were way out of my league.
She just needs a soul. You can get her a soul. I know you can. Youre a bean sidhe, and youre a reclamationist. Or whatever. Right?
Traci looked so suddenly hopeful that my heart broke for her all over again. Can you?
No! Im sorry, but it doesnt work like that. I dont get to keep the souls I reclaim! I have to turn them in. And its not like I have extras lying around. But as soon as Id said it, I realized that might not be true.
What? Ems gaze narrowed on me. What are you thinking?
Nothing. Just...maybe. It might be possible. But I cant promise anything.
Harmony stood, her hands opening andclosing at her sides like she was nervous. Like we were making her nervous. Girls, this wont work. Its not our place to...give people souls that dont belong to them. Thats beyond what a bean sidhe can do. Its beyond what were supposed to do.
But Kaylee did it! She put my soul here in Lydias body, so I know she could do that for Tracis baby. If we had a soul for him.
Harmony blinked. She opened her mouth like shed make another objection or tell us how dangerous that idea was. But nothing came out.
But finding a soul for your baby will be a moot point if you dont survive the pregnancy, I said, and Tracis expression fell so far I thought her jaw might actually drop off her face.
Emma turned to Harmony. You have another vial in your purse, dont you? Her voice was quiet. Sad. Thoughtful. What does the other vial do?
Its a mixture of some plants and roots from the Netherworld. For Traci. For if she decides to end her pregnancy. She reached into her purse and pulled out a second plastic vial a quarter of the way full with a pale yellow liquid. This is the safest way.
If you can do that... Ems voice broke, and I realized she was crying. If you can help her lose the baby safely...cant you help her keep it safely? Isnt there some plant or root in the Netherworld that can...I dont know. Boost her immune system, or give her a superdose of vitamins, or somehow make her healthy enough to carry the baby to term?
Emma, Traci, I know this is hard, but the chances of this ending well are so small, Harmony said.
Em swiped one arm across her eyes angrily. No. This is my nephew were talking about. And my sister. Shes lost enough already. She cant lose the baby, too. If you can help her, you have to.
Harmony sighed. She closed her eyes, and her lips moved without making any sound. Like she was praying. When she finally looked at us again, her blue eyes were swirling with...sadness. Or maybe regret. I couldnt tell for sure. Id never seen her unable to control the swirling before.
I cant promise anything. I can help, but...there are no guarantees. The chances are still slim
Ill take them. Traci wiped tears from her cheeks. Ill take those chances. Please. Ill do whatever you want. Ill pay you. Just please do whatever you can for my baby.
Oh, honey... Harmony took Tracis hand and pulled her closer. I would never charge you. I just need you to understand that I have no idea whether or not this will work. Well have to take it day by day. And your baby may come early. We may have to make him come early, if your body starts to fail you.
