With All My Soul
Page 87
Im not mad. He motioned me closer, and I sat in his lap, facing him.
Youre not mad at all? I frowned. You understand that when I left the hospital this morning, I already knew I was going to summon Ira and I didnt tell you.
Yeah. I got that, and its not like Im celebrating the omission. But...I went after Thane without telling you, so I figure I dont have much of a leg to stand on in an argument about full disclosures.
So youre not mad because were even? I dont want this to be some kind of contest.
Its not. Im not mad because I know from personal experience thatlike meyou did what you thought you had to do, and you didnt mean to hurt anyone. His gaze seemed to see straight through to my soul. So, all I need to know is...did you kiss him?
No. My eyes filled with tears. I didnt even ask what his price would be, because I was afraid he would ask for another...taste. Or something worse. I let our parents stay stuck in the Netherworld because I didnt want him to touch me again, I confessed. The tears fell, and I couldnt stop them. I didnt know whether to feel guilty for my own squeamishness or glad that I didnt kiss someone else this time.
He took my hand, and his fingers wound around mine. Kaylee, you didnt do anything wrong. My mom wouldnt want you to pay for her freedom like that, and I know damn well your dad and uncle wouldnt, either. His grip on my hand tightened, and shivers traveled up my arm. And as selfish as it probably sounds, I cant stand the thought of him touching you for any reason.
I dont think I deserve you, I whispered as those tingles wound their way from my arm down my spine. I suck as a girlfriend.
Thats not true. The real problem is that hellions suck as nemeses.
What?
Tod shrugged. A proper villain would know when to start overexplaining his dastardly scheme. Hed actually look when you point at the sky and shout, Look! When the going gets tough, a real villain would throw one of his minions under the bus and run, or rant against the justice department while hes being shoved into the back of a cop car. Hell, a real villain would at least wear a mask or creepy clown makeup, so we know at a glance whos good and whos bad. Tod grinned and shrugged. Face it, Kay. The problem here isnt you. Its these subpar villains the universe has thrown at us. Someone should lodge a formal complaint with the bad-guy union.
I laughed, more grateful than ever for his willingness to make me smile even at the worst of times.
I started to kiss Tod, but then Nash pushed the door open and poked hishead into the room. Hey, sorry to interrupt. But he didnt sound that sorryobviously turnabout was fair play. He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, holding his cell phone, and I realized Id misinterpreted his expression.
Something was wrong.
You have a call. He held his cell out to me.
On your phone?
Yeah. Its Marco. Only its not Marco.
Oh, crap. Tod helped me climb out of his lap without landing on the floor, and I stared at Nashs phone like it might bite me if I touched it. Sure enough, Marcos name was at the top of the screen, but...
Ms. Cavanaugh, I really dont think you want to keep me waiting. Avaris voice sounded distant coming from a phone not held close to my ear, but it was perfectly audible. He either couldnt work Marcos vocal chords or wasnt bothering.
My hand shook when I took the phone. It shook harder when I held it to my ear. Hello? The standard human greeting sounded stupid, considering I was speaking to a hellion, but I didnt know how else to start.
Ms. Cavanaugh, youve become a difficult bean sidhe to get hold of. Ive had to resort to...creative means.
I pressed the speaker button and set Nashs phone on my desk, not just so that he and Tod could hear, but so that I could put distancehowever worthlessbetween my ear and the hellions voice. What do you want?
The real question is what do you want? What would you like me to do with your father? Shall I list your options, or would you like to guess?
This isnt a game. I leaned against the desk, staring at my feet.
Of course its a game. Life is a game, little bean sidhe, and you are going to lose. The only choice still yours to make is how soon that happens. For instance, if you were to surrender yourself now, or anytime in the next few hours, your father would be returned to the human world, having suffered no permanent damage.
Hes okay? Was that even possible?
Okay is a relative term, in my world as in yours. He has, as yet, suffered no permanent damage. Physically, at least. It is difficult for me to determine how much and what kind of psychological trauma is recoverable.
Hearing him talk about my father like that made me hate Avari all over again with a loathing rendered raw and fresh, as if the wound were new. But the truth was that hed cut my heart out months and months ago. Avari kept himself entertainedand fedby squeezing it whenever he got the chance.
And if I dont turn myself in? It hurt to say the words. To vocally betray my father.
Youre not mad at all? I frowned. You understand that when I left the hospital this morning, I already knew I was going to summon Ira and I didnt tell you.
Yeah. I got that, and its not like Im celebrating the omission. But...I went after Thane without telling you, so I figure I dont have much of a leg to stand on in an argument about full disclosures.
So youre not mad because were even? I dont want this to be some kind of contest.
Its not. Im not mad because I know from personal experience thatlike meyou did what you thought you had to do, and you didnt mean to hurt anyone. His gaze seemed to see straight through to my soul. So, all I need to know is...did you kiss him?
No. My eyes filled with tears. I didnt even ask what his price would be, because I was afraid he would ask for another...taste. Or something worse. I let our parents stay stuck in the Netherworld because I didnt want him to touch me again, I confessed. The tears fell, and I couldnt stop them. I didnt know whether to feel guilty for my own squeamishness or glad that I didnt kiss someone else this time.
He took my hand, and his fingers wound around mine. Kaylee, you didnt do anything wrong. My mom wouldnt want you to pay for her freedom like that, and I know damn well your dad and uncle wouldnt, either. His grip on my hand tightened, and shivers traveled up my arm. And as selfish as it probably sounds, I cant stand the thought of him touching you for any reason.
I dont think I deserve you, I whispered as those tingles wound their way from my arm down my spine. I suck as a girlfriend.
Thats not true. The real problem is that hellions suck as nemeses.
What?
Tod shrugged. A proper villain would know when to start overexplaining his dastardly scheme. Hed actually look when you point at the sky and shout, Look! When the going gets tough, a real villain would throw one of his minions under the bus and run, or rant against the justice department while hes being shoved into the back of a cop car. Hell, a real villain would at least wear a mask or creepy clown makeup, so we know at a glance whos good and whos bad. Tod grinned and shrugged. Face it, Kay. The problem here isnt you. Its these subpar villains the universe has thrown at us. Someone should lodge a formal complaint with the bad-guy union.
I laughed, more grateful than ever for his willingness to make me smile even at the worst of times.
I started to kiss Tod, but then Nash pushed the door open and poked hishead into the room. Hey, sorry to interrupt. But he didnt sound that sorryobviously turnabout was fair play. He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, holding his cell phone, and I realized Id misinterpreted his expression.
Something was wrong.
You have a call. He held his cell out to me.
On your phone?
Yeah. Its Marco. Only its not Marco.
Oh, crap. Tod helped me climb out of his lap without landing on the floor, and I stared at Nashs phone like it might bite me if I touched it. Sure enough, Marcos name was at the top of the screen, but...
Ms. Cavanaugh, I really dont think you want to keep me waiting. Avaris voice sounded distant coming from a phone not held close to my ear, but it was perfectly audible. He either couldnt work Marcos vocal chords or wasnt bothering.
My hand shook when I took the phone. It shook harder when I held it to my ear. Hello? The standard human greeting sounded stupid, considering I was speaking to a hellion, but I didnt know how else to start.
Ms. Cavanaugh, youve become a difficult bean sidhe to get hold of. Ive had to resort to...creative means.
I pressed the speaker button and set Nashs phone on my desk, not just so that he and Tod could hear, but so that I could put distancehowever worthlessbetween my ear and the hellions voice. What do you want?
The real question is what do you want? What would you like me to do with your father? Shall I list your options, or would you like to guess?
This isnt a game. I leaned against the desk, staring at my feet.
Of course its a game. Life is a game, little bean sidhe, and you are going to lose. The only choice still yours to make is how soon that happens. For instance, if you were to surrender yourself now, or anytime in the next few hours, your father would be returned to the human world, having suffered no permanent damage.
Hes okay? Was that even possible?
Okay is a relative term, in my world as in yours. He has, as yet, suffered no permanent damage. Physically, at least. It is difficult for me to determine how much and what kind of psychological trauma is recoverable.
Hearing him talk about my father like that made me hate Avari all over again with a loathing rendered raw and fresh, as if the wound were new. But the truth was that hed cut my heart out months and months ago. Avari kept himself entertainedand fedby squeezing it whenever he got the chance.
And if I dont turn myself in? It hurt to say the words. To vocally betray my father.
