With Every Heartbeat

Page 138

Quinn nodded. “I know what you mean. I always preferred it when my mom would just whack me on the side of the head and walk away than when she called me worthless and told me how she wished I’d never been born.”
“Oh, God. I hate that line. My father used it on me all the time. Or he’d tell me I was going to turn out a whore, just like my mother.”
Growling deep in his throat, Quinn tightened his arms around me. “You are not—”
“I know.” I kissed his chin, appreciating the vehemence in his voice. “But it still tears you down. It makes you feel weak.”
“Worthless,” he added softly.
“Alone,” I said.
Quinn gazed in my eyes. “Unloved.”
“Trapped,” I whispered.
We gazed at each other for the longest time. I don’t think I’d ever understood anyone the way I understood Quinn in that moment. He got me completely, and I got him. I felt shredded and bare, and yet completely liberated in my exposure.
“Thank God we’re free of them,” I managed to croak, feeling things for another person that I’d never felt for anyone.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “Thank God.”
“These last few months, away from him, have been an experience I’ll never forget. And if he finds me and forces me to return home—”
“Finds you?” Quinn cut in, blinking away his confusion. Then his eyes filled with horror. “Oh God. He doesn’t know you’re here?” He gasped, guessing the truth.
I shook my head, realizing only Cora knew what it had taken for me to get here, and maybe she didn’t even know the full extent of my escape. But I told Quinn, detailing how I’d transferred the money from my account and gotten my car and escaped in the night. At one point, he covered his mouth with his hands and just watched me from wide, blue eyes.
“But I had to leave. I had to come here,” I started. My lips began to form Cora’s name as I was on the brink of telling him how much she needed me. But then I remembered; I couldn’t tell him that part. An ache formed in my chest. I hated keeping anything from him.
He nodded anyway, as if he understood everything. “Of course you did. He didn’t treat you like a daughter. You were his slave. No one should live like that.”
I licked my lips nervously. If Cora had never told me about her sickness, I never would’ve broken free. I probably would’ve remained my father’s slave for the rest of my life.
“What do you think he’ll do if he finds you?”
“Oh, he will,” I said with total reassurance. “There’s really no if about it. Eventually, he’ll come. It’s just a matter of time.”
Quinn let out a harsh breath as if he were trying to brace himself for the inevitable. “What’re you going to do when he does?”
I shivered; I couldn’t stop myself. Quinn tightened his arms around me protectively. When I leaned my face against his shoulder, he kissed my hair.
“I don’t know.” And that was the honest truth. “Legally, he can’t force me to go back with him. I’m an adult, and the money is mine; I inherited it from my mother after she died. He can’t touch it. I just…” I squeezed my eyes closed. “I hope I have the willpower to tell him no if he tries to intimidate me into returning with him.”
“You will,” Quinn assured me. He leaned in to kiss me, and we didn’t just share lips then, we shared souls. “You’re strong. And besides, I’ll be right there with you, standing by your side and holding your hand when you do it. If he tries to touch you, I’ll—”
“Quinn,” I rasped in reprimand. I didn’t want to hear him say what he’d do to my father. He wasn’t violent, and instinctively I knew he hated violence; it made him think of his mother, as if maybe he might become her. I didn’t want him to go through that.
He nodded, remaining quiet, but the lethal intent remained in his gaze. “He’ll never hurt you again. I promise it.”
I nodded, and it was my turn to kiss him. His mouth latched onto mine eagerly.
Our lips stayed connected as we kissed deep into the night, chasing away all the haunting memories of our past and filling them with something light and beautiful and precious. I realized then that no matter what happened, I’d always have this—memories of him—to keep me warm for the rest of my life.
Everything was different with Zoey.
I’d always been so unsure around Cora, nervous about finally having my first girlfriend and worried I’d do something wrong. I’d wanted to impress her and get her to like me so much I hadn’t bothered with trying to figure out whether I really liked her in return.