Without You

Page 65

“No, it’s not like that.”
“How often do you see him, especially with all these study groups you go to?” I looked up at Blake. “Are you there every time?”
The fucker smiled and said, “Yes, I am. Always.”
“No. Will, please let’s just go somewhere and talk. It’s not like that,” Lex pleaded.
I took a few steps back as Lex began crying harder.
“You made me promise you that everything would be okay, that we would be okay. You made me promise you that I wouldn’t meet anyone, Alex.”
A loud sob escaped Lex’s throat as a door opened.
Grace stepped out. “Will?” She looked back and forth between Blake and me. “What’s going on?”
I glanced back at Lex. I took a deep breath and blew it out as I closed my eyes.
“Will, I love you. Please just—”
I opened my eyes. “No. No, Alex.”
I turned to walk away, but Lex grabbed my arm.
“Will, please!”
I turned and looked into her beautiful blue eyes as I felt the tears building in mine. “I guess I should have asked you to make the same promise to me, Alex.”
She sucked in a breath of air as I pushed her hand away. As I began walking off, I closed my eyes.
She screamed out, “Will! Will!” Then, I heard her yell, “Blake, let me go! Let me go!”
Grace told Blake to let Alex go as the elevator door opened. Before I got on, I saw Lex running toward the elevator, but I stepped inside with the doors shutting behind me before she got there. The sounds of her yelling for me almost had me rushing back to her, but the image of her hand on his chest while she’d looked into his eyes was now forever etched in my brain.
I heard a knock on my bedroom door, and I flew up out of bed. I threw open the door, hoping to see Will.
“Libby…” I walked back to my bed and sat down. The tears began falling again. “Please tell me where he is.”
Will hadn’t come home for Thanksgiving break, and no one knew where he was, not even Luke.
She walked up to me and dropped to sit on the floor. “I swear to you, Alex, I don’t know. We’ve all been trying to call him. My parents are so worried about him.”
“He wouldn’t let me explain.” I cried harder as I put my hands up to my face.
“Alex, I have to ask you something, and you have to be honest with me. I talked to Grace.”
I dropped my hands and looked her in the face. “What did Grace tell you?”
“The truth—that you’ve been spending a lot of time with this Blake guy. Do you have feelings for him, Alex?”
“No! Well, yes…I mean, no. Damn it!” I shouted as I stood up. Spinning around, I looked at Libby. “I don’t know. I don’t have feelings for him like I have for Will, but something is there. I just keep hearing these voices in my head. I don’t know what to do, Libby. I love Will. I want Will, but when I’m around Blake, I…I want…”
“Him?”
The tears were pouring down my face. “I don’t think so. Sometimes, Will sends me these text messages. They drive me insane with lust, and then I’ll see Blake, and I get these weird feelings. I’m not sure if I’m just missing Will, or if I…if I…”
“If you have feelings for Blake.”
“Alex?”
I looked up and saw my father standing there. This was his fault. It was his damn voice in my head that I’d kept listening to.
“This is your fault,” I said.
My father looked shocked. “Excuse me?”
“You made me go to UT when you knew I wanted to go to A&M. I hate UT! I hate it! If I had been with Will at A&M, none of this would have happened. I hate you!” I pushed past my father and ran down the stairs.
“Alexandra Eryn! You stop right now!” my mother called out.
I ran past Colt and out the back door. I needed to find Will. I needed to get fresh air.
I ran into the barn, and Banjo poked his head out of his stall. I grabbed a lead rope, and then I walked into his stall, clipped it on, and led him out. I jumped up on him and began riding him bareback. I let Banjo lead the way as I sobbed and fought to catch my breath.
I wasn’t sure how long I had been out riding Banjo. I just sat on him, feeling numb. When he made his way to the river, I jumped off and stood there. I watched him graze on the grass. I dropped his lead, and I walked over to a tree. I slowly slid down it and stared out at the river. I had no tears left.
I leaned my head back and replayed the whole thing over again in my head. I thought of every single thing Will had heard and how it must have sounded to him.