Withstanding Me
Page 33
“Don’t get her riled up again. Sexy biker or not, I’ll boot your ass outta here.”
And he’s gone just like that.
“What he said.” Storm points to the speaker as she unclips the heart monitor from her finger, causing me to smirk.
“I want to try as in… shit, an us. I want there to be an us.”
“Mason,” she sighs sadly. “Just because I got pregnant and lost our baby doesn’t mean you have to feel obligated to be with me. I’m okay, really. It’s life. It happens. It was early on. I’d barely gotten used to the idea.”
She’s killing me here. I had minutes of the idea of her being pregnant with my kid, and I’m f**kin ripped up about it.
“I don’t get it,” I say turning away.
“Don’t get what?”
I look back at her. “How you can be so okay with this shit. It’s f**ked up, Apple. It’s seriously f**ked up. Even I f**kin know that!”
“It could’ve been worse, Mason. I could’ve been farther along, could’ve already heard the heartbeat, could’ve already knew the sex of the baby, already seen an ultrasound. I was lucky. I’m a lucky woman to not know that heartbreak. That’s how!”
I gulp, realizing she’s right, but I still want her, and she’s not f**kin understanding me.
“I still want to try. All this f**ked up shit aside. I do really wanna try Storm. Just let me try, please.”
“Do you even know what being in a relationship entails?”
A little bit…
“Yeah, I can’t f**k anyone else.” I try to smile and immediately stop.
“See!” She screeches.
“Look, I know what it means okay. Devotion, it takes a lot of devotion. I watched my ma and dad. Do you think Phil ever cheated on Berry? Hell no he didn’t. Why the f**k do you think this shit is scary to me? Living up to being the man he was towards my ma, that shit is scary as f**k! He made it work, I can make it work. He’d attend parties, rides, got f**ked up, but he still always made it home to my ma. I can try to do that. I will try my f**kin hardest to do that.”
“Mason,” she whispers.
“Please,” I beg. Fuck, what is wrong with me?
“Okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she smiles.
Chapter 19
Storm
Two Days Later…
I was released from the hospital this morning. I took one look in a mirror and cringed. I look absolutely dreadful. I look like a blue and black polka dotted clown. I can’t believe ZZ was all about trying to make things work, especially with me looking like this. But even after I thought about myself that way, he somehow made it better because we’re lying on my bed in the new club building talking.
“What was Tatiana like as a baby?”
ZZ stops rubbing over my bruised knuckles and leans up to look at me. “You really wanna talk about that right now?”
I understand his conflict about me asking because of losing the baby and everything. But I was a lucky woman, and I’m sticking with that.
“Yes, yes I do.”
He smiles at me so warmly, his brown eyes shining like a chocolate sea.
“Fuck, you shoulda seen my ass Storm. I hadn’t even turned fourteen when Mira and her mom came up with a baby in their hands. Mom said she immediately knew by just looking at Tatiana that she was mine. I’m standing there with a rag in my hands from helping dad wash his bike, thinking what the f**k did I do. I mean hell. The bitch didn’t even tell me she was pregnant. That’s what happens when you f**k someone older, and they go to a different school and shit. I thought for sure ma and dad were gonna kill my ass. But ma just took Tatiana out of Mira’s hands, and dad took the birth certificate and other paperwork outta Mira’s mom’s hands and told them to get f**king lost. It was clear as day they didn’t want nothin to do with Tatiana. Fuck, it pisses me off thinkin about it. The first night was the worst night. She wouldn’t stop cryin for nothing. Ma said it was normal and here I am thinkin holy shit, I created a f**king monster. Ma and dad didn’t make me do too much. Ma was worried about my childhood already being tainted by the club anyways, and she wanted me to have a life outside the club too. So she pretty much raised Tatiana, and I was more of a brother for the first few years. You wanna hear something funny?”
I laugh and nod my head.
“I wouldn’t even touch a female again until I was sixteen years old. I was scared to f**kin death that if I even kissed a girl I would knock her up!” He shakes his head smiling. “But when Tatiana started talking full sentences and calling me daddy… it was amazing. I was so young, Tatiana and I would both piss off ma and dad making messes and shit. The first time they left me alone to take care of her by myself, I didn’t know what the hell to do. She kept asking to bake cookies. Do I look like I can bake f**king cookies? No. I get the cookie dough out, and I’m trying to read the directions, which, by the way, was hard with her tugging on my leg screaming for cookies. I open the cookie dough, and I throw some at her. She looks up at me with her big shocked eyes, and then she smiles and starts reaching up for the cookie dough. I break off a chunk of it and hand it to her, and a cookie war fight breaks out. Jesus, you shoulda seen mom’s face when she came home. She was ready to blow up until Tatiana turned around and said, ‘he don’t know how to make cookies mamaw’. Ma immediately softened and ordered me to give her a bath while she cleaned up the kitchen. That was the moment I realized she was mine. She was my daughter. She wasn’t my little sister, and I needed to start acting that way. So every once in a while when Tatiana and I fight, we call a truce by bringing one another chocolate chip cookies.”
And he’s gone just like that.
“What he said.” Storm points to the speaker as she unclips the heart monitor from her finger, causing me to smirk.
“I want to try as in… shit, an us. I want there to be an us.”
“Mason,” she sighs sadly. “Just because I got pregnant and lost our baby doesn’t mean you have to feel obligated to be with me. I’m okay, really. It’s life. It happens. It was early on. I’d barely gotten used to the idea.”
She’s killing me here. I had minutes of the idea of her being pregnant with my kid, and I’m f**kin ripped up about it.
“I don’t get it,” I say turning away.
“Don’t get what?”
I look back at her. “How you can be so okay with this shit. It’s f**ked up, Apple. It’s seriously f**ked up. Even I f**kin know that!”
“It could’ve been worse, Mason. I could’ve been farther along, could’ve already heard the heartbeat, could’ve already knew the sex of the baby, already seen an ultrasound. I was lucky. I’m a lucky woman to not know that heartbreak. That’s how!”
I gulp, realizing she’s right, but I still want her, and she’s not f**kin understanding me.
“I still want to try. All this f**ked up shit aside. I do really wanna try Storm. Just let me try, please.”
“Do you even know what being in a relationship entails?”
A little bit…
“Yeah, I can’t f**k anyone else.” I try to smile and immediately stop.
“See!” She screeches.
“Look, I know what it means okay. Devotion, it takes a lot of devotion. I watched my ma and dad. Do you think Phil ever cheated on Berry? Hell no he didn’t. Why the f**k do you think this shit is scary to me? Living up to being the man he was towards my ma, that shit is scary as f**k! He made it work, I can make it work. He’d attend parties, rides, got f**ked up, but he still always made it home to my ma. I can try to do that. I will try my f**kin hardest to do that.”
“Mason,” she whispers.
“Please,” I beg. Fuck, what is wrong with me?
“Okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she smiles.
Chapter 19
Storm
Two Days Later…
I was released from the hospital this morning. I took one look in a mirror and cringed. I look absolutely dreadful. I look like a blue and black polka dotted clown. I can’t believe ZZ was all about trying to make things work, especially with me looking like this. But even after I thought about myself that way, he somehow made it better because we’re lying on my bed in the new club building talking.
“What was Tatiana like as a baby?”
ZZ stops rubbing over my bruised knuckles and leans up to look at me. “You really wanna talk about that right now?”
I understand his conflict about me asking because of losing the baby and everything. But I was a lucky woman, and I’m sticking with that.
“Yes, yes I do.”
He smiles at me so warmly, his brown eyes shining like a chocolate sea.
“Fuck, you shoulda seen my ass Storm. I hadn’t even turned fourteen when Mira and her mom came up with a baby in their hands. Mom said she immediately knew by just looking at Tatiana that she was mine. I’m standing there with a rag in my hands from helping dad wash his bike, thinking what the f**k did I do. I mean hell. The bitch didn’t even tell me she was pregnant. That’s what happens when you f**k someone older, and they go to a different school and shit. I thought for sure ma and dad were gonna kill my ass. But ma just took Tatiana out of Mira’s hands, and dad took the birth certificate and other paperwork outta Mira’s mom’s hands and told them to get f**king lost. It was clear as day they didn’t want nothin to do with Tatiana. Fuck, it pisses me off thinkin about it. The first night was the worst night. She wouldn’t stop cryin for nothing. Ma said it was normal and here I am thinkin holy shit, I created a f**king monster. Ma and dad didn’t make me do too much. Ma was worried about my childhood already being tainted by the club anyways, and she wanted me to have a life outside the club too. So she pretty much raised Tatiana, and I was more of a brother for the first few years. You wanna hear something funny?”
I laugh and nod my head.
“I wouldn’t even touch a female again until I was sixteen years old. I was scared to f**kin death that if I even kissed a girl I would knock her up!” He shakes his head smiling. “But when Tatiana started talking full sentences and calling me daddy… it was amazing. I was so young, Tatiana and I would both piss off ma and dad making messes and shit. The first time they left me alone to take care of her by myself, I didn’t know what the hell to do. She kept asking to bake cookies. Do I look like I can bake f**king cookies? No. I get the cookie dough out, and I’m trying to read the directions, which, by the way, was hard with her tugging on my leg screaming for cookies. I open the cookie dough, and I throw some at her. She looks up at me with her big shocked eyes, and then she smiles and starts reaching up for the cookie dough. I break off a chunk of it and hand it to her, and a cookie war fight breaks out. Jesus, you shoulda seen mom’s face when she came home. She was ready to blow up until Tatiana turned around and said, ‘he don’t know how to make cookies mamaw’. Ma immediately softened and ordered me to give her a bath while she cleaned up the kitchen. That was the moment I realized she was mine. She was my daughter. She wasn’t my little sister, and I needed to start acting that way. So every once in a while when Tatiana and I fight, we call a truce by bringing one another chocolate chip cookies.”
