Womanizer
Page 41
Daniel isn’t a corporate raider. He couldn’t pull it off if he tried. After working at the massive Carma headquarters in Chicago, I feel like the smaller offices of Radisson—no uniform, casual, easygoing surroundings—really don’t inspire me to step up my game and get sharp.
It doesn’t help that I heard about the Alcore deal. Callan once again surprised me—he holds majority now but allowed the previous stockholders to retain their seats on the board and a larger percentage of stock, and he’s injecting capital for an expansion that will take Alcore to the next level—one where millions of sales will become billions. The debt will grow, temporarily, but only until the huge new deals with high-tech companies start bearing fruit.
I applied for a real job, at Carma. I don’t feel at home here anymore, even though my parents are amazing and I love seeing my friends. What I got in Chicago may not have been what I wanted for myself. I realize now that life gave me better, so much more than I imagined. I fell in love in a way I never thought I could. I never thought I could have both a career and him. I want nothing less.
Fuck the plan, it’s not what I want anymore.
I want Chicago and I want for the hottest man in Chicago to be as crazy about me as I am about him.
My new plan is: Do anything for career except give up the man you love.
I keep refreshing my email all day. It’s been a week since I submitted my application, but I’ve received nothing yet. I’m even considering calling Tahoe but maybe Callan doesn’t want me there anymore. I’m home after a full day of work and refresh my calendar to verify it’s a month mark. I want a cigarette. I really do.
Me: Month mark tomorrow. Did you make it? I almost didn’t. YOU?! Did you stay away?
Him: Hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m ready to cave in.
Me: Me too. I’d have one if I had any. I’m too lazy to get some.
Him: I got you.
Me: Haha. Please do. I’m waiting. Make it fast.
Him: Fast enough for you?
I don’t understand the message until I see movement on the front porch as I walk up to the house. Standing before me is a vision—a complete hallucination—of Callan in jeans and a black crewneck T-shirt that clings to his muscles and has him looking his hottest.
He’s only a few feet away—instead of a whole bunch of states away. And he’s hot, amazing, right fucking here—his jaw a little shadowed by stubble, his hair rumpled by the wind—and he’s never looked as real.
As adorable.
As bad-boy sexy and as fucking good.
I swallow the lump that seems to immediately well up in my throat.
I want to sprint to him, climb him like my tree house, and move into him as my permanent home.
I want to crawl on him and touch him all over, kiss him all over. My fingers itch at my sides and my mouth dries up. I feel the attraction crackling between us. The air around him is testosterone-laden and my whole body feels it, senses it. I see it in his eyes as he looks at me the way he used to—with a touch of amusement, and a whole lot of interest, and just a gleam of admiration too.
“Callan,” I gulp.
“Olivia.”
His voice, oh god.
Oh god oh god.
It sparks up a sea of tiny goose bumps across my arms and I laugh at my own reaction, marveling at his effect on me—always his effect on me—and I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear with a shaking hand.
I’m shaking all over as I walk up to my front porch, catching my breath when the air I breathe begins to smell of his cologne.
I take a seat, and he sits beside me.
“Thanks to your recommendation, I got the job at Raddison.”
He shifts to his elbows, looking at me intensely, his lips hiking up at the corners. “That’s a pity.”
I’m surprised by his comment. “Huh? Why?” I scowl at him.
“I’m opening a new division at Carma. I’m allocating a percentage of our investment funds to partner with small, struggling companies. I wanted you as head.”
I blink.
I draw my eyes away.
“I couldn’t take the chance of you saying no—so I gave you some time.” He takes my chin. “I can’t take a chance of you saying no.”
I’m blown away by the offer. I’m blown away by the way Callan is looking at me now, as if I’m exactly what he’s been looking for, for a long, long time. “There are other people who can do that job a thousand times better,” I whisper.
“I doubt that.”
He holds my gaze.
Love doesn’t lie. Everything I’ve never known I wanted, I see in his eyes. It’s taken time for me to look past my fears and my plans, and now here he is. Here I am.
“Whatever you want to do, do it now—there are no guaranteed tomorrows, Olivia,” he says, jaw clenched as he looks at me.
“Life goes by in a blink, Livvy. Here we are, trying to make sense of it. Stop thinking and just live it. I don’t want another second without you. Not one.” He shakes his head, then pauses and takes my chin again, leaning closer. His voice drops to a low, deep rumble. “I once told you I didn’t know if I could love anyone deeply. I can and I do. More than I ever thought I could.”
I’m speechless. For the first time in my life, really. Everything I never knew I wanted sits next to me in six-feet-plus of muscle and man. My friend and my mentor and my lover and my . . . love.
“I told you I loved you,” he says, softly, when I don’t respond.
My voice sounds soft as cotton. “I remember. You just said it.”
“Any chance I’ll ever hear you say it back?”
I nod frantically fast, trying to find my voice.
“Climb the terrace we’ve built and come to the edge, and take a look, Olivia. I’m standing right there.”
I croak out, clenching my fingers into my palm, “What are you doing standing there?”
“Waiting for you, you adorable, infuriating, irresistible girl.” He thinks about it, then laughs as if at himself, then eyes me meaningfully. “I want you pregnant with my children. I want your DNA permanently woven with mine.”
He waits. Then . . .
“Remember when I told you the worst things are never planned?” he asks. “In my case, I think it’s the best things in my life I never planned. I never thought I’d own my own business one day. I never planned for my friends, Saint and Roth. I never planned for my brother. You are one of those things. The thing. I never planned for you in my life, Olivia,” he says, watching me. “I guess you can say I had a thousand small business plans, never a personal one. You know me. I don’t like leaving things to chance.” His lips quirk a little in amusement. “It always felt too iffy. For twenty-eight years, I was proven right not to have planned for it. But then, there was this lovely little blonde on the terrace of Carma, and she asked me for a hit, and I wanted all of her like I’d never wanted anything. Those wide, scared eyes, that mouth running away from you.”
I’m melting and yet I’m still sitting here but I don’t even know how. I feel so much love that it suddenly infuses every pore of my body and enlivens every particle and atom of my being.
If I was strong enough to fall for him—for a man like him—I’m strong enough to be with him. He won’t be easy. And the realization that I don’t want him to be, that the challenge excites me, brings out the best in me, fills me with excitement and relief.
“I don’t want you to work for me, Livvy. I want you to be my partner in every way, in every sense. I want to plan good things with you. A future with you. And I’ll ride it even if some things don’t go our way; all I know is that I want all of it with you. You make it better. You make me better.” He cups my face and squeezes gently as he looks into my eyes. “I’ve fallen so deeply in love with you I’m drowning here. I’m fucking drowning here.” He shakes his head. “I blinked my eyes and you were gone. It went by so fast, I don’t want to blink a second time and find you gone again, not for a second.”
I take his jaw and press my lips to his. He groans and grabs the back of my head, angling it so he can kiss me harder.
“I wanted to stay,” I breathe as I rain loving pecks on his mouth. “I wanted to say I loved you and I was afraid.”
It doesn’t help that I heard about the Alcore deal. Callan once again surprised me—he holds majority now but allowed the previous stockholders to retain their seats on the board and a larger percentage of stock, and he’s injecting capital for an expansion that will take Alcore to the next level—one where millions of sales will become billions. The debt will grow, temporarily, but only until the huge new deals with high-tech companies start bearing fruit.
I applied for a real job, at Carma. I don’t feel at home here anymore, even though my parents are amazing and I love seeing my friends. What I got in Chicago may not have been what I wanted for myself. I realize now that life gave me better, so much more than I imagined. I fell in love in a way I never thought I could. I never thought I could have both a career and him. I want nothing less.
Fuck the plan, it’s not what I want anymore.
I want Chicago and I want for the hottest man in Chicago to be as crazy about me as I am about him.
My new plan is: Do anything for career except give up the man you love.
I keep refreshing my email all day. It’s been a week since I submitted my application, but I’ve received nothing yet. I’m even considering calling Tahoe but maybe Callan doesn’t want me there anymore. I’m home after a full day of work and refresh my calendar to verify it’s a month mark. I want a cigarette. I really do.
Me: Month mark tomorrow. Did you make it? I almost didn’t. YOU?! Did you stay away?
Him: Hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m ready to cave in.
Me: Me too. I’d have one if I had any. I’m too lazy to get some.
Him: I got you.
Me: Haha. Please do. I’m waiting. Make it fast.
Him: Fast enough for you?
I don’t understand the message until I see movement on the front porch as I walk up to the house. Standing before me is a vision—a complete hallucination—of Callan in jeans and a black crewneck T-shirt that clings to his muscles and has him looking his hottest.
He’s only a few feet away—instead of a whole bunch of states away. And he’s hot, amazing, right fucking here—his jaw a little shadowed by stubble, his hair rumpled by the wind—and he’s never looked as real.
As adorable.
As bad-boy sexy and as fucking good.
I swallow the lump that seems to immediately well up in my throat.
I want to sprint to him, climb him like my tree house, and move into him as my permanent home.
I want to crawl on him and touch him all over, kiss him all over. My fingers itch at my sides and my mouth dries up. I feel the attraction crackling between us. The air around him is testosterone-laden and my whole body feels it, senses it. I see it in his eyes as he looks at me the way he used to—with a touch of amusement, and a whole lot of interest, and just a gleam of admiration too.
“Callan,” I gulp.
“Olivia.”
His voice, oh god.
Oh god oh god.
It sparks up a sea of tiny goose bumps across my arms and I laugh at my own reaction, marveling at his effect on me—always his effect on me—and I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear with a shaking hand.
I’m shaking all over as I walk up to my front porch, catching my breath when the air I breathe begins to smell of his cologne.
I take a seat, and he sits beside me.
“Thanks to your recommendation, I got the job at Raddison.”
He shifts to his elbows, looking at me intensely, his lips hiking up at the corners. “That’s a pity.”
I’m surprised by his comment. “Huh? Why?” I scowl at him.
“I’m opening a new division at Carma. I’m allocating a percentage of our investment funds to partner with small, struggling companies. I wanted you as head.”
I blink.
I draw my eyes away.
“I couldn’t take the chance of you saying no—so I gave you some time.” He takes my chin. “I can’t take a chance of you saying no.”
I’m blown away by the offer. I’m blown away by the way Callan is looking at me now, as if I’m exactly what he’s been looking for, for a long, long time. “There are other people who can do that job a thousand times better,” I whisper.
“I doubt that.”
He holds my gaze.
Love doesn’t lie. Everything I’ve never known I wanted, I see in his eyes. It’s taken time for me to look past my fears and my plans, and now here he is. Here I am.
“Whatever you want to do, do it now—there are no guaranteed tomorrows, Olivia,” he says, jaw clenched as he looks at me.
“Life goes by in a blink, Livvy. Here we are, trying to make sense of it. Stop thinking and just live it. I don’t want another second without you. Not one.” He shakes his head, then pauses and takes my chin again, leaning closer. His voice drops to a low, deep rumble. “I once told you I didn’t know if I could love anyone deeply. I can and I do. More than I ever thought I could.”
I’m speechless. For the first time in my life, really. Everything I never knew I wanted sits next to me in six-feet-plus of muscle and man. My friend and my mentor and my lover and my . . . love.
“I told you I loved you,” he says, softly, when I don’t respond.
My voice sounds soft as cotton. “I remember. You just said it.”
“Any chance I’ll ever hear you say it back?”
I nod frantically fast, trying to find my voice.
“Climb the terrace we’ve built and come to the edge, and take a look, Olivia. I’m standing right there.”
I croak out, clenching my fingers into my palm, “What are you doing standing there?”
“Waiting for you, you adorable, infuriating, irresistible girl.” He thinks about it, then laughs as if at himself, then eyes me meaningfully. “I want you pregnant with my children. I want your DNA permanently woven with mine.”
He waits. Then . . .
“Remember when I told you the worst things are never planned?” he asks. “In my case, I think it’s the best things in my life I never planned. I never thought I’d own my own business one day. I never planned for my friends, Saint and Roth. I never planned for my brother. You are one of those things. The thing. I never planned for you in my life, Olivia,” he says, watching me. “I guess you can say I had a thousand small business plans, never a personal one. You know me. I don’t like leaving things to chance.” His lips quirk a little in amusement. “It always felt too iffy. For twenty-eight years, I was proven right not to have planned for it. But then, there was this lovely little blonde on the terrace of Carma, and she asked me for a hit, and I wanted all of her like I’d never wanted anything. Those wide, scared eyes, that mouth running away from you.”
I’m melting and yet I’m still sitting here but I don’t even know how. I feel so much love that it suddenly infuses every pore of my body and enlivens every particle and atom of my being.
If I was strong enough to fall for him—for a man like him—I’m strong enough to be with him. He won’t be easy. And the realization that I don’t want him to be, that the challenge excites me, brings out the best in me, fills me with excitement and relief.
“I don’t want you to work for me, Livvy. I want you to be my partner in every way, in every sense. I want to plan good things with you. A future with you. And I’ll ride it even if some things don’t go our way; all I know is that I want all of it with you. You make it better. You make me better.” He cups my face and squeezes gently as he looks into my eyes. “I’ve fallen so deeply in love with you I’m drowning here. I’m fucking drowning here.” He shakes his head. “I blinked my eyes and you were gone. It went by so fast, I don’t want to blink a second time and find you gone again, not for a second.”
I take his jaw and press my lips to his. He groans and grabs the back of my head, angling it so he can kiss me harder.
“I wanted to stay,” I breathe as I rain loving pecks on his mouth. “I wanted to say I loved you and I was afraid.”
