Wrath
Page 83
He had given his word to work with the task force team. His gaze darted around the drab room—it would be hers too and could he do that to her? Ask her to live in the small space? She deserved better. He wanted to give her a real home but all he could offer would be the equivalent of a cell with an unlocked door. Not that she could leave the building. It was too dangerous and what had happened to her just proved it.
He’d put her in danger by association. His enemies had tried to use her against him and all Species to gain what they wanted. He growled when the water turned off in the next room, trying to come to a decision. He knew what he wanted, what he needed, but love was about putting the needs of someone else above his own.
She needed to eat before he touched her. That would be his first priority. They would talk. It wasn’t a choice. She needed to understand that every time she claimed to be his that he took it to heart. Letting her go would be hard but keeping her against her will would be unforgivable. It was Lauren’s choice. Pain squeezed his chest. He’d want to lie down and die if she walked away from him. He would never stop thinking about her, longing for her to be near him or wanting to hold her.
He’d never seen this coming. He was antisocial and afraid to trust himself with a human woman, yet Lauren had managed to change him. He’d learned to yearn for things he hadn’t even known he wanted.
* * * * *
Good going, Lauren berated herself. I should have kept my mouth closed and not blabbed about loving him. She took her time brushing her teeth before she followed him into the other room with just a towel wrapped around her body.
He stopped pacing when she entered the room. The towel hooked around his waist was all he wore, he hadn’t gotten dressed while she’d tended to her teeth. His dark gaze fixed on her.
“Come here.” He pointed to the spot in front of him. “Please.”
Lauren walked to him without hesitation. The serious look in his eyes alarmed her but her spine stiffened. She’d faced a lot of tough things in her life but being rejected by Wrath would probably top her list of “moments that sucked”. She stopped where he pointed and refused to look away. She wanted to see his eyes, read his emotions. She wouldn’t cry in front of him. She loved him enough to want to avoid making him feel guilty.
“I’m not one of your males.”
That wasn’t what she had expected him to say. “I know.”
“I’m not even fully human. I’m part canine.”
“I know that too.”
“I snarl and have mood swings because I battle with both sides of myself. I’ve also suffered abuse.”
Ah, the reasons why he’s going to dump me. The sensation of tears made her blink rapidly to fight them back. “I know that too, Wrath.”
“I don’t understand what normal is. I have nothing in common with you and we grew up very differently.” He looked away from her to glance around the room before he caught her gaze again. “This room is nice to me. It’s far better than anything I could have ever expected. There are no chains here, no locks to keep me inside and no one comes to hurt me. I’ve seen inside your home and there’s a drastic difference.”
She couldn’t refute anything he said but she could point out what they did have. “None of that matters to me. Do you know what does?”
Something flickered in his gorgeous eyes but she wasn’t sure what emotion caused it. She waited to see if he even wanted to hear what she had to say or if he’d already made up his mind.
“What?”
“You make me happy. I hope I make you feel that way too. This…” She waved her hand at the room. “Doesn’t matter. It’s just being with you that does. I know your past and mine are drastically dissimilar but it’s the here and now that I care about.”
He took a deep breath.
“Is this goodbye? Don’t drag it out.” Her voice dropped and her heart broke a little. “Tell me if you want to end this. I love you, I probably shouldn’t have blurted it out that way, but there it is. I don’t regret letting you know how I feel because life is too short. I’d regret not telling you that. You can make excuses all night for why we have no future but just tell me the truth, okay? You don’t feel the same way about me? Just say that. I can take it.”
He inched closer. “I feel more for you than I ever thought possible. I don’t want to say goodbye to you but I don’t want you to hate me either.”
“I could never do that.” She wanted to touch him and her fingers curled into her palms just to resist.
“You will if I stop fighting what I want from you. I’d keep you with me, Lauren. I’m stuck here in this place until my duty is done and you deserve better. I know this. I would never let you go if you were to stay. I couldn’t.” His voice deepened. “You keep saying you are mine and it taunts me to claim you.” His gaze traveled down her body. “I’d mate you and your life would change forever. Your world is too dangerous if you were with me. You’d have to live in mine, give up everything you have, and…”
“And what?” Her heart raced and hope soared that he loved her too.
“I love you too much to ever make you choose between your world and me.”
More tears filled her eyes but she didn’t bother to blink them back. He loves me! “It’s an easy choice to make if you’re asking me.”
He tried to turn away but she reached out and grabbed his arm. He peered down at her and she saw raw pain staring back at her.
He’d put her in danger by association. His enemies had tried to use her against him and all Species to gain what they wanted. He growled when the water turned off in the next room, trying to come to a decision. He knew what he wanted, what he needed, but love was about putting the needs of someone else above his own.
She needed to eat before he touched her. That would be his first priority. They would talk. It wasn’t a choice. She needed to understand that every time she claimed to be his that he took it to heart. Letting her go would be hard but keeping her against her will would be unforgivable. It was Lauren’s choice. Pain squeezed his chest. He’d want to lie down and die if she walked away from him. He would never stop thinking about her, longing for her to be near him or wanting to hold her.
He’d never seen this coming. He was antisocial and afraid to trust himself with a human woman, yet Lauren had managed to change him. He’d learned to yearn for things he hadn’t even known he wanted.
* * * * *
Good going, Lauren berated herself. I should have kept my mouth closed and not blabbed about loving him. She took her time brushing her teeth before she followed him into the other room with just a towel wrapped around her body.
He stopped pacing when she entered the room. The towel hooked around his waist was all he wore, he hadn’t gotten dressed while she’d tended to her teeth. His dark gaze fixed on her.
“Come here.” He pointed to the spot in front of him. “Please.”
Lauren walked to him without hesitation. The serious look in his eyes alarmed her but her spine stiffened. She’d faced a lot of tough things in her life but being rejected by Wrath would probably top her list of “moments that sucked”. She stopped where he pointed and refused to look away. She wanted to see his eyes, read his emotions. She wouldn’t cry in front of him. She loved him enough to want to avoid making him feel guilty.
“I’m not one of your males.”
That wasn’t what she had expected him to say. “I know.”
“I’m not even fully human. I’m part canine.”
“I know that too.”
“I snarl and have mood swings because I battle with both sides of myself. I’ve also suffered abuse.”
Ah, the reasons why he’s going to dump me. The sensation of tears made her blink rapidly to fight them back. “I know that too, Wrath.”
“I don’t understand what normal is. I have nothing in common with you and we grew up very differently.” He looked away from her to glance around the room before he caught her gaze again. “This room is nice to me. It’s far better than anything I could have ever expected. There are no chains here, no locks to keep me inside and no one comes to hurt me. I’ve seen inside your home and there’s a drastic difference.”
She couldn’t refute anything he said but she could point out what they did have. “None of that matters to me. Do you know what does?”
Something flickered in his gorgeous eyes but she wasn’t sure what emotion caused it. She waited to see if he even wanted to hear what she had to say or if he’d already made up his mind.
“What?”
“You make me happy. I hope I make you feel that way too. This…” She waved her hand at the room. “Doesn’t matter. It’s just being with you that does. I know your past and mine are drastically dissimilar but it’s the here and now that I care about.”
He took a deep breath.
“Is this goodbye? Don’t drag it out.” Her voice dropped and her heart broke a little. “Tell me if you want to end this. I love you, I probably shouldn’t have blurted it out that way, but there it is. I don’t regret letting you know how I feel because life is too short. I’d regret not telling you that. You can make excuses all night for why we have no future but just tell me the truth, okay? You don’t feel the same way about me? Just say that. I can take it.”
He inched closer. “I feel more for you than I ever thought possible. I don’t want to say goodbye to you but I don’t want you to hate me either.”
“I could never do that.” She wanted to touch him and her fingers curled into her palms just to resist.
“You will if I stop fighting what I want from you. I’d keep you with me, Lauren. I’m stuck here in this place until my duty is done and you deserve better. I know this. I would never let you go if you were to stay. I couldn’t.” His voice deepened. “You keep saying you are mine and it taunts me to claim you.” His gaze traveled down her body. “I’d mate you and your life would change forever. Your world is too dangerous if you were with me. You’d have to live in mine, give up everything you have, and…”
“And what?” Her heart raced and hope soared that he loved her too.
“I love you too much to ever make you choose between your world and me.”
More tears filled her eyes but she didn’t bother to blink them back. He loves me! “It’s an easy choice to make if you’re asking me.”
He tried to turn away but she reached out and grabbed his arm. He peered down at her and she saw raw pain staring back at her.
