Yellow Brick War
Page 17
When it was time for bed, I hugged my mom good night. She smelled like she’d smelled when I was a kid, before the accident and the pills and the Newports: sweet and flowery, like springtime. She hugged me back. I looked over her shoulder into her room, taking it in without really thinking, and then something clicked. “Where’s your bed?” I asked, releasing her.
“Oh.” She laughed, giving a little shrug. “I couldn’t really afford two, so I’ll just sleep on the couch. A couple more paychecks and I should be able to get myself a bed, too.”
“Mom, come on. I can sleep on the couch. You take my bed.”
“I’ve been selfish for way too much of your life,” she said, looking me straight in the eye. “I can handle a few weeks on the couch.” Guilt welled up in my heart like blood from a paper cut. My mom had transformed her life in the hopes I was coming back, and all I could think about was how I was going to leave her again. What would it do to her when I disappeared again?
You can’t think about that and you can’t get used to this, I told myself. You’re only here to get the shoes. It was easier for everyone if my mom and I didn’t get too close. If I closed myself off, the way I’d learned to do in Oz. Caring too much only meant you were that much easier to hurt. And if I was going to leave Kansas for good, I couldn’t let my armor crack for a second.
“Suit yourself,” I said, making my voice hard and cold, and I closed my bedroom door to the look of hurt on her face. But all I could think about as I tossed and turned in the unfamiliar, narrow bed was the tears welling up in her eyes as I’d shut her out. Nox, my mom . . . who was going to be next on the list of people I had to hurt in order to survive?
SEVEN
My mom left the house early the next morning, and I got busy. I dragged out her battered old laptop—you could practically hear the gears turning when I logged online. Before I looked up the history of Flat Hill, I couldn’t resist. I had to Google it. A video called “Tornado Girl Tragedy” popped up instantly. On one side was Nancy Grace, the CNN reporter who always covered big trials and missing person cases. And on the other, my mother’s best friend, Tawny. Nancy had a habit of lambasting bad mothers who happened to be nowhere to be found while their kids were going missing.
“So where was your friend, Tornado Girl’s mom, when the tornado hit?”
“She was with me—we were at a tornado party,” Tawny said dramatically, and then burst into guilty tears.
“Tornado party,” Nancy repeated, her southern drawl wrapping around the words, making it sound even more awful.
At the word party, I clicked on the X to close the screen. I had seen enough. I turned to my real mission.
For hours, I looked through websites about prairie history, old farmers’ journals, and black-and-white pictures of the people who had come to Kansas back in Dorothy’s era to make a better life for themselves. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for; I just knew I’d know it when I saw it. And after reading about a million articles on devastating blizzards, crop failures, droughts, disease, and poverty, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Dorothy. Whatever she’d turned into in Oz, her life in Kansas had been harder than anything I could imagine. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz might have portrayed her life with Uncle Henry and Aunt Em as idyllic, but it didn’t take much reading for me to realize that life on a Kansas farm as a dirt-poor orphan probably hadn’t been a walk in the park.
And then I found it—on a historical website dedicated to printing techniques in old newspapers. I sat up straight on my mom’s couch with a gasp. “Area reporter interviews Kansas tornado survivor.” It was a scan of a yellowing, torn newspaper article from the Daily Kansan, dated 1897. The paper was so faded I could barely make out the words, and most of the article was missing. But I saw enough to know what I was looking at. “Miss D. Gale, of Flat Hill, Kansas, population twenty-five, describes her experiences in the tornado as ‘truly wondrous,’ but the most wonderful aspect of her story is that she survived the devastating tornado that destroyed her home. Miss Gale reports extraordinary visions experienced during the storm, including wonderful creatures and an enchanted ci—” The page was torn off there, so neatly that it almost looked as though someone had done it on purpose. And then I saw the author’s byline: Mr. L. F. Baum.
“Holy shit,” I said out loud into my mom’s empty apartment. Dorothy had been real. She had lived here in the very town where I’d grown up. And L. Frank Baum had interviewed her. How did no one know about this? I didn’t know much about the history of Baum’s books, but I was pretty sure that I would have heard about it if people realized Dorothy was based on a real person. She’d told him the whole thing, everything that happened to her, and he’d taken her entire story and turned it into a book. She’d come back to Kansas, just like I had, dumped back into her ordinary, crappy life. No one could possibly have believed her—not even Baum himself. <
“Oh.” She laughed, giving a little shrug. “I couldn’t really afford two, so I’ll just sleep on the couch. A couple more paychecks and I should be able to get myself a bed, too.”
“Mom, come on. I can sleep on the couch. You take my bed.”
“I’ve been selfish for way too much of your life,” she said, looking me straight in the eye. “I can handle a few weeks on the couch.” Guilt welled up in my heart like blood from a paper cut. My mom had transformed her life in the hopes I was coming back, and all I could think about was how I was going to leave her again. What would it do to her when I disappeared again?
You can’t think about that and you can’t get used to this, I told myself. You’re only here to get the shoes. It was easier for everyone if my mom and I didn’t get too close. If I closed myself off, the way I’d learned to do in Oz. Caring too much only meant you were that much easier to hurt. And if I was going to leave Kansas for good, I couldn’t let my armor crack for a second.
“Suit yourself,” I said, making my voice hard and cold, and I closed my bedroom door to the look of hurt on her face. But all I could think about as I tossed and turned in the unfamiliar, narrow bed was the tears welling up in her eyes as I’d shut her out. Nox, my mom . . . who was going to be next on the list of people I had to hurt in order to survive?
SEVEN
My mom left the house early the next morning, and I got busy. I dragged out her battered old laptop—you could practically hear the gears turning when I logged online. Before I looked up the history of Flat Hill, I couldn’t resist. I had to Google it. A video called “Tornado Girl Tragedy” popped up instantly. On one side was Nancy Grace, the CNN reporter who always covered big trials and missing person cases. And on the other, my mother’s best friend, Tawny. Nancy had a habit of lambasting bad mothers who happened to be nowhere to be found while their kids were going missing.
“So where was your friend, Tornado Girl’s mom, when the tornado hit?”
“She was with me—we were at a tornado party,” Tawny said dramatically, and then burst into guilty tears.
“Tornado party,” Nancy repeated, her southern drawl wrapping around the words, making it sound even more awful.
At the word party, I clicked on the X to close the screen. I had seen enough. I turned to my real mission.
For hours, I looked through websites about prairie history, old farmers’ journals, and black-and-white pictures of the people who had come to Kansas back in Dorothy’s era to make a better life for themselves. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for; I just knew I’d know it when I saw it. And after reading about a million articles on devastating blizzards, crop failures, droughts, disease, and poverty, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Dorothy. Whatever she’d turned into in Oz, her life in Kansas had been harder than anything I could imagine. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz might have portrayed her life with Uncle Henry and Aunt Em as idyllic, but it didn’t take much reading for me to realize that life on a Kansas farm as a dirt-poor orphan probably hadn’t been a walk in the park.
And then I found it—on a historical website dedicated to printing techniques in old newspapers. I sat up straight on my mom’s couch with a gasp. “Area reporter interviews Kansas tornado survivor.” It was a scan of a yellowing, torn newspaper article from the Daily Kansan, dated 1897. The paper was so faded I could barely make out the words, and most of the article was missing. But I saw enough to know what I was looking at. “Miss D. Gale, of Flat Hill, Kansas, population twenty-five, describes her experiences in the tornado as ‘truly wondrous,’ but the most wonderful aspect of her story is that she survived the devastating tornado that destroyed her home. Miss Gale reports extraordinary visions experienced during the storm, including wonderful creatures and an enchanted ci—” The page was torn off there, so neatly that it almost looked as though someone had done it on purpose. And then I saw the author’s byline: Mr. L. F. Baum.
“Holy shit,” I said out loud into my mom’s empty apartment. Dorothy had been real. She had lived here in the very town where I’d grown up. And L. Frank Baum had interviewed her. How did no one know about this? I didn’t know much about the history of Baum’s books, but I was pretty sure that I would have heard about it if people realized Dorothy was based on a real person. She’d told him the whole thing, everything that happened to her, and he’d taken her entire story and turned it into a book. She’d come back to Kansas, just like I had, dumped back into her ordinary, crappy life. No one could possibly have believed her—not even Baum himself. <
