Yellow Brick War
Page 21
“All right, look,” Madison said. “Real talk, okay? I know I was a bitch. I know I am a bitch. At least I own it. But see where I’m coming from. I thought I was on top of the world—” Her voice dripped scorn as she waved a hand around the cafeteria. “Queen of this entire shithole—what a high-class job, am I right? And then I got knocked up, and it was too late to do anything about it by the time I realized I was pregnant—I mean, we’re in the middle of Kansas, it’s not like I could find somebody to drive me to New York to take care of it. Football-star’s-fiancée-prom-queen-preggo Madison Pendleton was everybody’s idea of a great mascot—but slutty-single-mom Madison Pendleton dragging her bastard kid all over Dwight D. Eisenhower Senior High after she ruined the football star’s life? Not so much. I was supposed to drop out when I popped the kid out so no one had to look at us, or adopt him out, or act sorry, and I didn’t do any of that stuff. I had to stand in Strachan’s office for twenty minutes, screaming, before he finally agreed to let me bring the kid to school so I can actually graduate on time. And so now, if you want to know the truth, Amy Gumm, I don’t have any friends either. It’s you and me, babe. Now we can be boss bitches together. Assuming you’ve got it in you.”
“Hey, don’t forget me,” Dustin said, half wounded. Madison smiled at him, that same warm smile she’d given his kid, but her eyes were sad. “She didn’t ruin my life,” he added. “I blew out my knee in a game right before Dustin Jr. was born anyway.”
I stared at Madison, totally speechless. I’d never heard her talk so much at one time without letting an insult fly, let alone admit anything like vulnerability. I thought suddenly of all the times I’d pretended to be something I wasn’t in Oz—to protect myself, to get by. And I thought about what it must have been like for Madison, pregnant and barely seventeen, knowing she was probably going to be stuck in this dump for the rest of her life. I didn’t forgive her, exactly, but I thought I might understand her.
“What about . . .” I made a vague gesture, trying to remember the names of Madison’s Clone Wars besties.
“Amber?” Madison snorted and looked across the cafeteria. Amber—dressed in an outfit uncannily identical to the glitter-heavy blinged-out gear Madison was sporting—was holding court at the head of the popular table, surrounded by admiring jocks, acolytes in matching ensembles, and a couple of hangers-on. As if she could sense the force of Madison’s gaze, she glanced over at us and sneered. Madison raised a single, slow middle finger. Amber blanched and looked away. Queen bee or no queen bee, Madison was still pretty scary. “I got demoted,” she said almost cheerfully. “Whatever. Saves me a lot of time.”
“But you and Dustin could get married,” I said. “You could get a babysitter for the kid so you can finish school.”
“My parents threw me out of the house,” she said matter-of-factly. “So no free child care. And Dustin and I broke up.” She looked at him and raised an eyebrow.
Even though Madison seemed genuine, and had gotten a taste of her own medicine, I was definitely not ready to trust her. She had made a sport out of hurting me, like it was an extracurricular activity.
But there was an intimacy in the bully/bullied relationship. I knew Madison better than most other people. I’d needed to, to be able to avoid her, or to anticipate when the next insult was coming and get myself ready. And I’d never seen this side of Madison. She actually almost seemed contrite. But maybe motherhood had just given her a better poker face.
I realized Dustin had continued talking while I’d been trying to figure out Madison. “I mean, of course I help with the baby. My parents are pretty cool, they’re letting Madison stay with us until we figure out something better.” He sighed and put his head in his hands. “We just knew we weren’t right for each other, even though we still care about each other. It’s a lot,” he said. “But we’ll figure it out.” Madison put her head on his shoulder, and he gave her a squeeze. The thing was, they did love each other. It was obvious in the little glances they shot each other when they thought I wasn’t looking. Madison and Dustin had formed some kind of post-breakup peace. It was kind of weird. But there are lots of different kinds of love, I guess. And it was totally obvious, too, that they both loved Dustin Jr. As if she could read my thoughts, Madison handed the baby over to Dustin, who rocked him gently with an expression of total bliss while Madison looked at both of them with affection. <
“Hey, don’t forget me,” Dustin said, half wounded. Madison smiled at him, that same warm smile she’d given his kid, but her eyes were sad. “She didn’t ruin my life,” he added. “I blew out my knee in a game right before Dustin Jr. was born anyway.”
I stared at Madison, totally speechless. I’d never heard her talk so much at one time without letting an insult fly, let alone admit anything like vulnerability. I thought suddenly of all the times I’d pretended to be something I wasn’t in Oz—to protect myself, to get by. And I thought about what it must have been like for Madison, pregnant and barely seventeen, knowing she was probably going to be stuck in this dump for the rest of her life. I didn’t forgive her, exactly, but I thought I might understand her.
“What about . . .” I made a vague gesture, trying to remember the names of Madison’s Clone Wars besties.
“Amber?” Madison snorted and looked across the cafeteria. Amber—dressed in an outfit uncannily identical to the glitter-heavy blinged-out gear Madison was sporting—was holding court at the head of the popular table, surrounded by admiring jocks, acolytes in matching ensembles, and a couple of hangers-on. As if she could sense the force of Madison’s gaze, she glanced over at us and sneered. Madison raised a single, slow middle finger. Amber blanched and looked away. Queen bee or no queen bee, Madison was still pretty scary. “I got demoted,” she said almost cheerfully. “Whatever. Saves me a lot of time.”
“But you and Dustin could get married,” I said. “You could get a babysitter for the kid so you can finish school.”
“My parents threw me out of the house,” she said matter-of-factly. “So no free child care. And Dustin and I broke up.” She looked at him and raised an eyebrow.
Even though Madison seemed genuine, and had gotten a taste of her own medicine, I was definitely not ready to trust her. She had made a sport out of hurting me, like it was an extracurricular activity.
But there was an intimacy in the bully/bullied relationship. I knew Madison better than most other people. I’d needed to, to be able to avoid her, or to anticipate when the next insult was coming and get myself ready. And I’d never seen this side of Madison. She actually almost seemed contrite. But maybe motherhood had just given her a better poker face.
I realized Dustin had continued talking while I’d been trying to figure out Madison. “I mean, of course I help with the baby. My parents are pretty cool, they’re letting Madison stay with us until we figure out something better.” He sighed and put his head in his hands. “We just knew we weren’t right for each other, even though we still care about each other. It’s a lot,” he said. “But we’ll figure it out.” Madison put her head on his shoulder, and he gave her a squeeze. The thing was, they did love each other. It was obvious in the little glances they shot each other when they thought I wasn’t looking. Madison and Dustin had formed some kind of post-breakup peace. It was kind of weird. But there are lots of different kinds of love, I guess. And it was totally obvious, too, that they both loved Dustin Jr. As if she could read my thoughts, Madison handed the baby over to Dustin, who rocked him gently with an expression of total bliss while Madison looked at both of them with affection. <
