You Slay Me
Page 74
"If you're not part of the solution, you're the prob-lem," I told it, heading for my bedroom.
"What are you going to do?" Jim asked as it followed me.
"Read. Keep quiet unless you have any demonic in-sights to where Ophelia has been taken."
I plucked the copy of theSteganographia from the bookcase and sat down to bone up on demon lore.
Four hours later I threw the book onto the bed in dis-gust.
"Don't tell me—the butler did it and you had money riding on the seductive neighbor?"
I sighed and gathered up my sandals, walking over to the wardrobe to examine my scanty belongings with an eye to what was best suited to the evening's activities. "I wish it was that easy. I read all the sections pertinent to demons, and I just don't understand how a demon I sum-moned could lie when I ordered it to answer my questions honestly."
"That's because it's impossible," Jim said, standing up and shaking, a flurry of dog hair floating down to the floor. I made a mental promise to tidy up the room later. "I can't lie to you unless you order me to do so."
I paused in the act of slipping into my now-clean linen pantsuit. It was the most dignified outfit I had. "Are you sure there's no way? No circumstance that would allow you to lie? Because Bafamal was lying when he said Drake murdered everyone, I know he was. I couldn't have—" I waved my hand around vaguely. "—with Drake if he was a murderer. I would have felt that sort of evilness in him, wouldn't I?"
"You mean while you were busy playing ride the dragon?"
"What?"
"You know, hide the forked tongue? Hoard the treas-ure? Heh heh heh."
I shook a sandal at him. "You need your brain washed out with soap. I'm serious. I'm too new to all this Guardian stuff. Sometimes I don't think I have a very good grasp on it all."
"Sometimes?"Jim hooted. "Sometimes like maybe mind-pushing Inspector Proust into la-la land?"
"I called his office while you were AWOL. Whoever answered the phone said he was OK, so the mind-push thingy must have worn off pretty quickly."
"How about walking into a rival dragon's lair with a powerful lodestone that any dragon worth his scales would kill to get his hands on stuffed down your bra? Or maybe summoning up a demon that lies was an example of you having a grasp?"
"There are times when I don't like you," I said stiffly. "Answer my question—would I or wouldn't I know if Drake had killed those people?"
Jim shrugged. "That depends on how tightly bound you two are."
"We're not bound at all. A little fling composed of… of… unadulterated lust is not binding in any way, shape, or form." Jim muttered something as I buttoned up the tunic and ran a comb through my hair. "I just have to as-sume the evidence is false. Bafamal lied."
Jim shook its head. "If you asked me a question, I could evade the truth a bit, but not outright lie."
I glanced at the clock as I stepped into my sandals, grabbing my purse before hurrying out of the room. "I don't understand…. Oh, come on, let's go meet Amelie. We have a couple of hours to kill, and she might know something."
"Hel-lo! You're like three eggs short of a potato salad, sister. You know everyone is watching her shop just hop-ing you'll show up again. Much as I want to see my beloved Cecile and do that thing with her ears that makes her go all squirrelly on me, I can do without spending an-other day on the run from the Brothers Blu."
I smiled and opened the door to the apartment. "That's why I'm not going to the shop—you are, my little carrier pigeon."
"Fires of Abaddon, what am I, your slave?" Jim groaned as it followed me out. "Why don't you lop off my goodies and call me Lassie while you're at it."
I met Amelie an hour later at the south side of the Jardin du Luxembourg, one of the few parks that allowed dogs. Jim and Cecile came with her, Jim strutting along-side the crotchety Corgi, periodically giving her ears and head a swipe with its huge pink tongue. I made a mental note to have a talk with Jim about the propriety of ear-sucking in public.
"I was not followed," Amelie said by way of a greet-ing. "We took three Metros and walked through the shop of a friend to leave by the alley. No one could follow me."
I gave her a little hug and invited her to share my bench.
"Eh… Cede and I are going to go check out a lovely stinky spot I found while I was on the run yesterday. We'll see you in a bit," Jim said as it nudged Cecile to-ward a low bank of shrubs.
"Don't go too far—we might have to get out of here quickly," I warned before turning back to Amelie. "Why do I feel like we're going to be in-laws?"
She laughed, shaking her head. "I will admit, to me it was at first most disturbing, but I see now that the demon is not a true demon, hein? It isunepetite demon. Cecile, she seems to like it, so I sayouf, and let them be."
"Mmm. I have a feeling I'm going to have a sulky demon in love when it's time to leave Paris."
"Leave? Ah. You have solved the problems haunting you?"
"Not yet, but I hope to soon. You've probably heard about my challenge, huh?"
Amelie gave me a pitying smile. "Yes, I did. That was not so well done of you, was it?"
I think it was the experience and knowledge she had that made me feel like I was being called on the carpet by my grade-school principal. I squirmed a tiny bit and stared down at my hands. "Um … well, I had this plan, you see? I figured it would bring the murderer out into the open if I challenged Drake and lost. It's obvious that Drake has been set up as the fall guy, and I just kind of stumbled onto the scene and messed everything up. But then my chief suspect up and got herself kidnapped by the demon Bafamal, and no one knows where she is or how I can find out, and I can't ask Drake for help, be-cause it's against some rule to talk to the person you've challenged, and I don't trust Fiat any farther than I can spit, and even if I did, I doubt if he'd order his men to track Ophelia because I don't have any gold left except the bit on the talisman you gave me, and that means I'm left with having to pull out Plan B, which between you and me, I'd rather not do."
Amelie gave me an odd look. "That was a great deal you said."
"What are you going to do?" Jim asked as it followed me.
"Read. Keep quiet unless you have any demonic in-sights to where Ophelia has been taken."
I plucked the copy of theSteganographia from the bookcase and sat down to bone up on demon lore.
Four hours later I threw the book onto the bed in dis-gust.
"Don't tell me—the butler did it and you had money riding on the seductive neighbor?"
I sighed and gathered up my sandals, walking over to the wardrobe to examine my scanty belongings with an eye to what was best suited to the evening's activities. "I wish it was that easy. I read all the sections pertinent to demons, and I just don't understand how a demon I sum-moned could lie when I ordered it to answer my questions honestly."
"That's because it's impossible," Jim said, standing up and shaking, a flurry of dog hair floating down to the floor. I made a mental promise to tidy up the room later. "I can't lie to you unless you order me to do so."
I paused in the act of slipping into my now-clean linen pantsuit. It was the most dignified outfit I had. "Are you sure there's no way? No circumstance that would allow you to lie? Because Bafamal was lying when he said Drake murdered everyone, I know he was. I couldn't have—" I waved my hand around vaguely. "—with Drake if he was a murderer. I would have felt that sort of evilness in him, wouldn't I?"
"You mean while you were busy playing ride the dragon?"
"What?"
"You know, hide the forked tongue? Hoard the treas-ure? Heh heh heh."
I shook a sandal at him. "You need your brain washed out with soap. I'm serious. I'm too new to all this Guardian stuff. Sometimes I don't think I have a very good grasp on it all."
"Sometimes?"Jim hooted. "Sometimes like maybe mind-pushing Inspector Proust into la-la land?"
"I called his office while you were AWOL. Whoever answered the phone said he was OK, so the mind-push thingy must have worn off pretty quickly."
"How about walking into a rival dragon's lair with a powerful lodestone that any dragon worth his scales would kill to get his hands on stuffed down your bra? Or maybe summoning up a demon that lies was an example of you having a grasp?"
"There are times when I don't like you," I said stiffly. "Answer my question—would I or wouldn't I know if Drake had killed those people?"
Jim shrugged. "That depends on how tightly bound you two are."
"We're not bound at all. A little fling composed of… of… unadulterated lust is not binding in any way, shape, or form." Jim muttered something as I buttoned up the tunic and ran a comb through my hair. "I just have to as-sume the evidence is false. Bafamal lied."
Jim shook its head. "If you asked me a question, I could evade the truth a bit, but not outright lie."
I glanced at the clock as I stepped into my sandals, grabbing my purse before hurrying out of the room. "I don't understand…. Oh, come on, let's go meet Amelie. We have a couple of hours to kill, and she might know something."
"Hel-lo! You're like three eggs short of a potato salad, sister. You know everyone is watching her shop just hop-ing you'll show up again. Much as I want to see my beloved Cecile and do that thing with her ears that makes her go all squirrelly on me, I can do without spending an-other day on the run from the Brothers Blu."
I smiled and opened the door to the apartment. "That's why I'm not going to the shop—you are, my little carrier pigeon."
"Fires of Abaddon, what am I, your slave?" Jim groaned as it followed me out. "Why don't you lop off my goodies and call me Lassie while you're at it."
I met Amelie an hour later at the south side of the Jardin du Luxembourg, one of the few parks that allowed dogs. Jim and Cecile came with her, Jim strutting along-side the crotchety Corgi, periodically giving her ears and head a swipe with its huge pink tongue. I made a mental note to have a talk with Jim about the propriety of ear-sucking in public.
"I was not followed," Amelie said by way of a greet-ing. "We took three Metros and walked through the shop of a friend to leave by the alley. No one could follow me."
I gave her a little hug and invited her to share my bench.
"Eh… Cede and I are going to go check out a lovely stinky spot I found while I was on the run yesterday. We'll see you in a bit," Jim said as it nudged Cecile to-ward a low bank of shrubs.
"Don't go too far—we might have to get out of here quickly," I warned before turning back to Amelie. "Why do I feel like we're going to be in-laws?"
She laughed, shaking her head. "I will admit, to me it was at first most disturbing, but I see now that the demon is not a true demon, hein? It isunepetite demon. Cecile, she seems to like it, so I sayouf, and let them be."
"Mmm. I have a feeling I'm going to have a sulky demon in love when it's time to leave Paris."
"Leave? Ah. You have solved the problems haunting you?"
"Not yet, but I hope to soon. You've probably heard about my challenge, huh?"
Amelie gave me a pitying smile. "Yes, I did. That was not so well done of you, was it?"
I think it was the experience and knowledge she had that made me feel like I was being called on the carpet by my grade-school principal. I squirmed a tiny bit and stared down at my hands. "Um … well, I had this plan, you see? I figured it would bring the murderer out into the open if I challenged Drake and lost. It's obvious that Drake has been set up as the fall guy, and I just kind of stumbled onto the scene and messed everything up. But then my chief suspect up and got herself kidnapped by the demon Bafamal, and no one knows where she is or how I can find out, and I can't ask Drake for help, be-cause it's against some rule to talk to the person you've challenged, and I don't trust Fiat any farther than I can spit, and even if I did, I doubt if he'd order his men to track Ophelia because I don't have any gold left except the bit on the talisman you gave me, and that means I'm left with having to pull out Plan B, which between you and me, I'd rather not do."
Amelie gave me an odd look. "That was a great deal you said."
