You Were Mine
Page 14
“I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” I told her.
“I’ll take that, miss,” a man said, holding out his hand for my suitcase.
I handed my luggage over to the crew and then looked at Blaire. “Hey, you,” I said, smiling. Blaire was my best friend. Because of her, I’d had Jace. She’d shown me that making myself worthy of love was the way to get the guy I wanted. In many ways, Blaire had helped me find a part of the girl I once was before Tripp. Not entirely, but some of the old me had come back because of Blaire.
Once I had been like Blaire. Strong, confident, independent. But like everything else in life, Tripp took that from me.
“You good?” she asked, studying my face. Only Blaire had the balls to ask me if I was OK. Everyone else had stopped asking, afraid of my reaction. I wanted to tell her that the numbness was gone. But it had been replaced by the feelings I’d been holding back. I had to deal with it all.
But not now. This was Della and Woods’s special weekend. I wouldn’t ruin it with my sadness. “I’m doing good. I was going to come by last week, but I had to work overtime for several days.”
Blaire cocked an eyebrow at me. “Tell that to Nate. He’s been asking for ‘An Betty’ the last few days. He’s used to seeing you at least once a week, you know.”
That little boy was one of the lights of my life. I loved that kid. I had been so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to go near him when he was born. I feared that seeing Blaire and Rush with their baby would be too much for me. I would feel the regret and pain when I looked at him. But it didn’t happen. Nate won my heart with his sweet baby smile. He was a charmer from day one. “He’ll be here this weekend?” I asked, glancing up at the side of the plane, feeling guilty for not visiting him now.
“He’s coming tomorrow night with Dean. His grandfather wanted to keep him at the house and give us one night alone on the island.”
I shook my head. The idea that Dean Finlay, the rock god, was taking care of a baby was just funny. But he loved that kid.
“All right, ladies, move the gossip inside. It’s time we head south,” Woods said as he stood at the top of the stairs. His eyes were locked on Della’s. I had known Woods since I was a kid. Watching him with Della never ceased to amaze me. He hadn’t been the settling-down type. But Della was his world.
“Coming right up,” Della replied.
I didn’t scan the inside of the jet, but I felt his eyes as soon as they found me. Tripp was here. The pressure of his gaze made things difficult. Uncomfortable. I didn’t want to feel anything where he was concerned.
“Bethy,” Harlow’s voice called out in a pleasant greeting, and I turned to see her sitting on one of the leather sofas that lined the inside of the plane. She wasn’t holding Lila Kate. I hadn’t expected her to leave her baby behind, too. Especially since she was still so tiny. She was four months old now but she had been a preemie. She was a little thing, but she was so perfect. Just like her mother.
I walked over to sit down beside Harlow. “Where’s Lila Kate?” I asked. I hadn’t been by to visit her lately, either. Harlow nodded her head to the left of the plane, and I glanced over to see Grant standing by the bar with his little girl in his arms as he rocked her gently and talked softly to her.
“He’s getting her to sleep. I had to beg him to bring her on the plane. He was completely freaked out by the idea of her flying. But then it took him a month to get over putting her in a car. I doubt anyone else will get to hold her while we’re in the sky. Not even me,” she said with an amused laugh.
Watching Grant hold his little girl so carefully and protectively, I remembered the man standing in the hospital, staring at the door that Harlow had been rushed through when she went into labor. He had stood there lost and unmoving for hours. It had been hard for everyone—I’d felt like I was losing Jace all over again—but Grant was a mess. I didn’t pray often, but that week, I had prayed hard. “That’s adorable,” I said.
“God, isn’t it, though? I swear, when he does that kind of stuff, I want to attack him. Complete turn-on.”
I laughed, and it was a real laugh. It felt good. I missed laughing. I didn’t do it often. Nate gave me my weekly laugh. He always made me forget with his little-boy charm.
“What’s so funny over here?” Blaire asked, taking the seat on the other side of me.
“Daddy Grant is a turn-on for Harlow,” I said with a chuckle, glancing over at her.
Blaire smiled as she looked over at Grant, who now had his head tucked close to Lila Kate as he continued to rock back and forth with her. “He’s so stinking cute. I swear. I can’t imagine Rush with a baby girl. But seeing Grant with Lila Kate makes me want one.”
“Another baby so soon?” Harlow asked Blaire.
Blaire smiled and shrugged. “Maybe not yet. Nate still needs to be the baby a while longer. Besides, he’s a handful. The walking thing was hard, but the running thing is even more difficult. I can’t catch him when he gets loose.”
I needed this. I sat as my friends discussed their children and told stories about their daily lives as moms, making me laugh. I loved them and their families. For almost two years, I had missed so much, closing myself off from emotion. I was tired of that. Maybe the protective numbness leaving was a good thing.
Tripp
Eight years ago
Bethy had become an addiction. Although I knew I couldn’t have her, I couldn’t stay away from her. Seeing her face light up when she saw me was also pretty damn amazing. After she rode on the back of my bike that weekend all the way to New Orleans and back, I came up with reasons to see her every day. Jace kept asking me to hang out with him and the guys, but I couldn’t bring myself not to see Bethy. The idea that she’d end up at another party and I wouldn’t be there to protect her was also keeping me from giving her much space.
“I’ll take that, miss,” a man said, holding out his hand for my suitcase.
I handed my luggage over to the crew and then looked at Blaire. “Hey, you,” I said, smiling. Blaire was my best friend. Because of her, I’d had Jace. She’d shown me that making myself worthy of love was the way to get the guy I wanted. In many ways, Blaire had helped me find a part of the girl I once was before Tripp. Not entirely, but some of the old me had come back because of Blaire.
Once I had been like Blaire. Strong, confident, independent. But like everything else in life, Tripp took that from me.
“You good?” she asked, studying my face. Only Blaire had the balls to ask me if I was OK. Everyone else had stopped asking, afraid of my reaction. I wanted to tell her that the numbness was gone. But it had been replaced by the feelings I’d been holding back. I had to deal with it all.
But not now. This was Della and Woods’s special weekend. I wouldn’t ruin it with my sadness. “I’m doing good. I was going to come by last week, but I had to work overtime for several days.”
Blaire cocked an eyebrow at me. “Tell that to Nate. He’s been asking for ‘An Betty’ the last few days. He’s used to seeing you at least once a week, you know.”
That little boy was one of the lights of my life. I loved that kid. I had been so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to go near him when he was born. I feared that seeing Blaire and Rush with their baby would be too much for me. I would feel the regret and pain when I looked at him. But it didn’t happen. Nate won my heart with his sweet baby smile. He was a charmer from day one. “He’ll be here this weekend?” I asked, glancing up at the side of the plane, feeling guilty for not visiting him now.
“He’s coming tomorrow night with Dean. His grandfather wanted to keep him at the house and give us one night alone on the island.”
I shook my head. The idea that Dean Finlay, the rock god, was taking care of a baby was just funny. But he loved that kid.
“All right, ladies, move the gossip inside. It’s time we head south,” Woods said as he stood at the top of the stairs. His eyes were locked on Della’s. I had known Woods since I was a kid. Watching him with Della never ceased to amaze me. He hadn’t been the settling-down type. But Della was his world.
“Coming right up,” Della replied.
I didn’t scan the inside of the jet, but I felt his eyes as soon as they found me. Tripp was here. The pressure of his gaze made things difficult. Uncomfortable. I didn’t want to feel anything where he was concerned.
“Bethy,” Harlow’s voice called out in a pleasant greeting, and I turned to see her sitting on one of the leather sofas that lined the inside of the plane. She wasn’t holding Lila Kate. I hadn’t expected her to leave her baby behind, too. Especially since she was still so tiny. She was four months old now but she had been a preemie. She was a little thing, but she was so perfect. Just like her mother.
I walked over to sit down beside Harlow. “Where’s Lila Kate?” I asked. I hadn’t been by to visit her lately, either. Harlow nodded her head to the left of the plane, and I glanced over to see Grant standing by the bar with his little girl in his arms as he rocked her gently and talked softly to her.
“He’s getting her to sleep. I had to beg him to bring her on the plane. He was completely freaked out by the idea of her flying. But then it took him a month to get over putting her in a car. I doubt anyone else will get to hold her while we’re in the sky. Not even me,” she said with an amused laugh.
Watching Grant hold his little girl so carefully and protectively, I remembered the man standing in the hospital, staring at the door that Harlow had been rushed through when she went into labor. He had stood there lost and unmoving for hours. It had been hard for everyone—I’d felt like I was losing Jace all over again—but Grant was a mess. I didn’t pray often, but that week, I had prayed hard. “That’s adorable,” I said.
“God, isn’t it, though? I swear, when he does that kind of stuff, I want to attack him. Complete turn-on.”
I laughed, and it was a real laugh. It felt good. I missed laughing. I didn’t do it often. Nate gave me my weekly laugh. He always made me forget with his little-boy charm.
“What’s so funny over here?” Blaire asked, taking the seat on the other side of me.
“Daddy Grant is a turn-on for Harlow,” I said with a chuckle, glancing over at her.
Blaire smiled as she looked over at Grant, who now had his head tucked close to Lila Kate as he continued to rock back and forth with her. “He’s so stinking cute. I swear. I can’t imagine Rush with a baby girl. But seeing Grant with Lila Kate makes me want one.”
“Another baby so soon?” Harlow asked Blaire.
Blaire smiled and shrugged. “Maybe not yet. Nate still needs to be the baby a while longer. Besides, he’s a handful. The walking thing was hard, but the running thing is even more difficult. I can’t catch him when he gets loose.”
I needed this. I sat as my friends discussed their children and told stories about their daily lives as moms, making me laugh. I loved them and their families. For almost two years, I had missed so much, closing myself off from emotion. I was tired of that. Maybe the protective numbness leaving was a good thing.
Tripp
Eight years ago
Bethy had become an addiction. Although I knew I couldn’t have her, I couldn’t stay away from her. Seeing her face light up when she saw me was also pretty damn amazing. After she rode on the back of my bike that weekend all the way to New Orleans and back, I came up with reasons to see her every day. Jace kept asking me to hang out with him and the guys, but I couldn’t bring myself not to see Bethy. The idea that she’d end up at another party and I wouldn’t be there to protect her was also keeping me from giving her much space.
