Yours for Christmas
Page 32
“It’s not that.”
“Then what?”
She asked the question gently. While Taryn was all about the threats, in her heart, she was a marshmallow. She took care of all of them—she had from the very beginning. Taryn was the glue that held Score together.
She walked up behind him and put her hand on his arm. “Kenny,” she said softly. “Tell me.”
He continued to stare out window. “I can’t do it. I can’t. When I lost James...” He swallowed. “I loved him and it was like he died. Only worse, because I knew he was around and I couldn’t be with him anymore.”
She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him. He pulled her against him and hung on.
“I could have sued for visitation,” he continued, remembering long talks with his lawyer. “I had a good case. But what was the point? He was three. He would forget me. What would happen when he was six or eight? I would just be some guy he had to spend time with. It’s not like I was his real dad.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Me, too. I can’t go through that again, Taryn. I can’t love some kid only to lose her. When those toys were stolen, it changed everything. I’d started thinking that bad stuff couldn’t happen here. Stupid, huh?”
“No. There’s something about this damn town. It makes you crazy. Worse, it makes you hope.”
“You’ve got Angel. You can relax.”
“I know, but I want you to be happy, too.” She looked up at him. “Bailey isn’t anything like Natalie. She would never deceive you. She’d never hurt you.”
He stared into her violet-blue eyes. “I agree she’s a better person, but she’s also still a mother. Chloe comes first and if things went south, I’d lose both of them.”
“So that means you’re not even going to try?”
“I won’t take the chance.”
She shifted so she was standing in front of him—both her hands on his chest. “Kenny, you would run into a three-hundred-pound defensive end without blinking.”
He shrugged. “That’s just physical pain. The body heals. The heart’s not such a sure thing.”
“I agree there’s a risk, but the reward could be everything you’ve ever wanted. Don’t you want to be the one person Bailey can depend on? Don’t you want to be with her always? Don’t you want to watch Chloe grow up into a beautiful young woman and walk her down the aisle, then hold her babies one day?”
It was like she’d stabbed him with a knife. He could see that as clearly as if it was happening right in front of him. Bailey and Chloe and the third generation of redheaded Voss women.
He allowed himself to dream for just a second, then he shook his head and physically stepped back. “I can’t.”
“You won’t. There’s a difference.”
“Not a big enough one to matter.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
BAILEY, TARYN AND the Sprouts stood on the sidewalk by the shelter in Sacramento. All eight girls were solemn as the director thanked them for their help.
“So many of the families we work with don’t have enough money to buy Christmas presents,” she was saying. “They’re struggling to keep food on the tables and lights on in the house. This Christmas, when you are with your families and opening your presents, I hope you’ll stop to think about what a good thing you’ve done. Thank you, girls.”
Chloe reached for Bailey’s hand. Several of the girls were wiping away tears.
Behind them, volunteers unloaded the toys that had been collected. Taryn sniffed.
“All this emotion,” she grumbled. “It’s just so...” She looked at her Sprouts and smiled. “I’m proud of all of you. You didn’t let one person ruin something special.”
Allison sighed. “It’s like a Christmas miracle. We delivered toys to needy children. My mom wants us to have this for our project next year.”
“We’ll talk it with the Grove council,” Taryn promised. “Okay, let’s head back to Fool’s Gold. Rumor has it, there’s going to be a celebration at Brew-haha.”
Several of the girls cheered. Chloe released Bailey’s hand and walked with her friends. Taryn fell into step with Bailey as they walked toward their cars.
“I hate all this stupid happiness,” Taryn muttered.
Bailey grinned. “You need to get over that. Happiness is part of the tradition. It’s good for you.”
“No, it’s not. Worse, I’m fighting hormones. I cried over a commercial last night. It was horrifying.”
“There’s so much more to come.”
Bailey knew that Taryn was holding off on telling people about her pregnancy and couldn’t wait for the news to come out.
“The toy thing was good,” Taryn admitted. “Needy kids and all that.” She paused. “You want to talk about it?”
There was no need to ask what the “it” was. Or who.
“There’s not much to say,” Bailey told her.
“Are you okay?”
“No. But I’m faking it as best I can.” She lowered her voice. “I miss him.”
“He misses you. It’s just...he has some baggage.”
“I know about Natalie. He told me. So in my head, I understand why he’s cautious. But it still hurts to have him gone.”
Taryn got to her car and unlocked it. Bailey did the same. The girls climbed in and began fastening their seat belts. When all the doors were closed, Taryn looked at her.
“Then what?”
She asked the question gently. While Taryn was all about the threats, in her heart, she was a marshmallow. She took care of all of them—she had from the very beginning. Taryn was the glue that held Score together.
She walked up behind him and put her hand on his arm. “Kenny,” she said softly. “Tell me.”
He continued to stare out window. “I can’t do it. I can’t. When I lost James...” He swallowed. “I loved him and it was like he died. Only worse, because I knew he was around and I couldn’t be with him anymore.”
She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him. He pulled her against him and hung on.
“I could have sued for visitation,” he continued, remembering long talks with his lawyer. “I had a good case. But what was the point? He was three. He would forget me. What would happen when he was six or eight? I would just be some guy he had to spend time with. It’s not like I was his real dad.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Me, too. I can’t go through that again, Taryn. I can’t love some kid only to lose her. When those toys were stolen, it changed everything. I’d started thinking that bad stuff couldn’t happen here. Stupid, huh?”
“No. There’s something about this damn town. It makes you crazy. Worse, it makes you hope.”
“You’ve got Angel. You can relax.”
“I know, but I want you to be happy, too.” She looked up at him. “Bailey isn’t anything like Natalie. She would never deceive you. She’d never hurt you.”
He stared into her violet-blue eyes. “I agree she’s a better person, but she’s also still a mother. Chloe comes first and if things went south, I’d lose both of them.”
“So that means you’re not even going to try?”
“I won’t take the chance.”
She shifted so she was standing in front of him—both her hands on his chest. “Kenny, you would run into a three-hundred-pound defensive end without blinking.”
He shrugged. “That’s just physical pain. The body heals. The heart’s not such a sure thing.”
“I agree there’s a risk, but the reward could be everything you’ve ever wanted. Don’t you want to be the one person Bailey can depend on? Don’t you want to be with her always? Don’t you want to watch Chloe grow up into a beautiful young woman and walk her down the aisle, then hold her babies one day?”
It was like she’d stabbed him with a knife. He could see that as clearly as if it was happening right in front of him. Bailey and Chloe and the third generation of redheaded Voss women.
He allowed himself to dream for just a second, then he shook his head and physically stepped back. “I can’t.”
“You won’t. There’s a difference.”
“Not a big enough one to matter.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
BAILEY, TARYN AND the Sprouts stood on the sidewalk by the shelter in Sacramento. All eight girls were solemn as the director thanked them for their help.
“So many of the families we work with don’t have enough money to buy Christmas presents,” she was saying. “They’re struggling to keep food on the tables and lights on in the house. This Christmas, when you are with your families and opening your presents, I hope you’ll stop to think about what a good thing you’ve done. Thank you, girls.”
Chloe reached for Bailey’s hand. Several of the girls were wiping away tears.
Behind them, volunteers unloaded the toys that had been collected. Taryn sniffed.
“All this emotion,” she grumbled. “It’s just so...” She looked at her Sprouts and smiled. “I’m proud of all of you. You didn’t let one person ruin something special.”
Allison sighed. “It’s like a Christmas miracle. We delivered toys to needy children. My mom wants us to have this for our project next year.”
“We’ll talk it with the Grove council,” Taryn promised. “Okay, let’s head back to Fool’s Gold. Rumor has it, there’s going to be a celebration at Brew-haha.”
Several of the girls cheered. Chloe released Bailey’s hand and walked with her friends. Taryn fell into step with Bailey as they walked toward their cars.
“I hate all this stupid happiness,” Taryn muttered.
Bailey grinned. “You need to get over that. Happiness is part of the tradition. It’s good for you.”
“No, it’s not. Worse, I’m fighting hormones. I cried over a commercial last night. It was horrifying.”
“There’s so much more to come.”
Bailey knew that Taryn was holding off on telling people about her pregnancy and couldn’t wait for the news to come out.
“The toy thing was good,” Taryn admitted. “Needy kids and all that.” She paused. “You want to talk about it?”
There was no need to ask what the “it” was. Or who.
“There’s not much to say,” Bailey told her.
“Are you okay?”
“No. But I’m faking it as best I can.” She lowered her voice. “I miss him.”
“He misses you. It’s just...he has some baggage.”
“I know about Natalie. He told me. So in my head, I understand why he’s cautious. But it still hurts to have him gone.”
Taryn got to her car and unlocked it. Bailey did the same. The girls climbed in and began fastening their seat belts. When all the doors were closed, Taryn looked at her.
