Zane's Redemption
Page 83
To burden her with his own feelings was wrong. Yet it didn’t stop him from hauling her closer to him, from digging his fangs deeper and drinking more of her sweet essence. And it didn’t stop him from thrusting harder into her, filling her tight channel with his hard length that was ready to burst.
And it didn’t stop him from wishing to leave something of him behind, of wanting his seed to take root in her. To create another life. At the same time he knew it was impossible: only blood-bonded couples could conceive, and he would never force this bond on her. If he did so now in the heat of passion, she would never forgive him for binding her to him for eternity.
“More,” she whispered and lowered her head to his ear.
But he knew he couldn’t take any more. Already, her movements had slowed and her voice sounded lethargic. He dropped his hand between their bodies and rubbed his thumb against her clit, stroking first gently, then harder.
Zane removed his fangs from her breast, licking over the incisions his teeth had left. His saliva closed them instantly and mended the skin.
“Oh, God!”
He felt her orgasm rock through her body and let go of his control. His release went through his cells like an atom bomb, obliterating everything in its path.
Portia collapsed against him. He discarded the torn t-shirt and cradled her against his chest.
“Baby girl,” he murmured into her hair. There was so much more he wanted to say but couldn’t.
Her breath hummed against his neck. “Promise me to always feed from me.”
Zane’s muscles tensed. He could make no such promise as much as he desired what she was offering. “I can’t.”
She pulled herself away from him, and her face told him everything he needed to know. She was so easy to read, and in this moment, he wished it were different. But he saw what was written there: hurt that he was rejecting her. And like a stake, that same kind of hurt drove into his heart.
Portia shifted to get out of his lap, but he captured her arms and stopped her, moving his hips at the same time to drive himself back into her.
“You don’t understand, Portia.”
She lashed an angry glare at him. “Oh, I understand. You’ve had enough of me already.”
Zane bared his teeth. “You’re wrong!”
She struggled against his hold. Angry at her defiance, he flipped her onto her back, and braced himself over her. There was no escape now, even though she pushed against him.
“It’s not I who doesn’t want you.” Why was he even telling her that? He owed her no explanation. However, his stupid mouth didn’t get the message and kept on moving. “It’ll never work between us. You have your entire life ahead of you. Why would you want to chain yourself to somebody like me?”
She shook her head, her body suddenly going soft beneath his, molding itself to him. “But I want you.”
“You say that now. You say that because we have great sex. That’s all this is. You’re confusing love with lust.”
Her eyes focused on him, and something lit in them, a flicker of understanding. Maybe he’d finally gotten through to her.
“And you, are you confusing lust with love? Or do you know the difference?”
Her challenge was clear, and hell, he should be wiser than to accept it, but whatever it was—the aftermath of his orgasm or her blood pulsing in his veins—he couldn’t resist answering.
“Of course I know the difference!” he bit out between clenched teeth.
“Then tell me, smart ass! Tell me that it’s lust for you and I’ll leave you alone. In fact, I’ll pack up right now and go home. And you’ll never have to set eyes on me again.”
Never see her again? His heart clenched painfully at the vile thought. He searched her face to discover if she was bluffing, but nothing gave away what she was thinking. Was she giving him a way out, a way to make a clean break without losing face?
“Tell me you don’t love me.” At the last two words, her voice trembled.
He closed his eyes, trying to fight against the feelings that her demand conjured up. He should lie to her, lie and be done with it. But that final tremble in her voice had driven too deep into him, demanding he’d be honest with her.
Without opening his eyes, he admitted what he should have kept to himself. “I love you.”
As he made a motion to lift himself off her, she hooked one leg around his, holding him back. His eyes flew open, and he pinned her.
There was a warm smile on Portia’s face. “I think I should explain the rules to you again,” she said softly.
And it didn’t stop him from wishing to leave something of him behind, of wanting his seed to take root in her. To create another life. At the same time he knew it was impossible: only blood-bonded couples could conceive, and he would never force this bond on her. If he did so now in the heat of passion, she would never forgive him for binding her to him for eternity.
“More,” she whispered and lowered her head to his ear.
But he knew he couldn’t take any more. Already, her movements had slowed and her voice sounded lethargic. He dropped his hand between their bodies and rubbed his thumb against her clit, stroking first gently, then harder.
Zane removed his fangs from her breast, licking over the incisions his teeth had left. His saliva closed them instantly and mended the skin.
“Oh, God!”
He felt her orgasm rock through her body and let go of his control. His release went through his cells like an atom bomb, obliterating everything in its path.
Portia collapsed against him. He discarded the torn t-shirt and cradled her against his chest.
“Baby girl,” he murmured into her hair. There was so much more he wanted to say but couldn’t.
Her breath hummed against his neck. “Promise me to always feed from me.”
Zane’s muscles tensed. He could make no such promise as much as he desired what she was offering. “I can’t.”
She pulled herself away from him, and her face told him everything he needed to know. She was so easy to read, and in this moment, he wished it were different. But he saw what was written there: hurt that he was rejecting her. And like a stake, that same kind of hurt drove into his heart.
Portia shifted to get out of his lap, but he captured her arms and stopped her, moving his hips at the same time to drive himself back into her.
“You don’t understand, Portia.”
She lashed an angry glare at him. “Oh, I understand. You’ve had enough of me already.”
Zane bared his teeth. “You’re wrong!”
She struggled against his hold. Angry at her defiance, he flipped her onto her back, and braced himself over her. There was no escape now, even though she pushed against him.
“It’s not I who doesn’t want you.” Why was he even telling her that? He owed her no explanation. However, his stupid mouth didn’t get the message and kept on moving. “It’ll never work between us. You have your entire life ahead of you. Why would you want to chain yourself to somebody like me?”
She shook her head, her body suddenly going soft beneath his, molding itself to him. “But I want you.”
“You say that now. You say that because we have great sex. That’s all this is. You’re confusing love with lust.”
Her eyes focused on him, and something lit in them, a flicker of understanding. Maybe he’d finally gotten through to her.
“And you, are you confusing lust with love? Or do you know the difference?”
Her challenge was clear, and hell, he should be wiser than to accept it, but whatever it was—the aftermath of his orgasm or her blood pulsing in his veins—he couldn’t resist answering.
“Of course I know the difference!” he bit out between clenched teeth.
“Then tell me, smart ass! Tell me that it’s lust for you and I’ll leave you alone. In fact, I’ll pack up right now and go home. And you’ll never have to set eyes on me again.”
Never see her again? His heart clenched painfully at the vile thought. He searched her face to discover if she was bluffing, but nothing gave away what she was thinking. Was she giving him a way out, a way to make a clean break without losing face?
“Tell me you don’t love me.” At the last two words, her voice trembled.
He closed his eyes, trying to fight against the feelings that her demand conjured up. He should lie to her, lie and be done with it. But that final tremble in her voice had driven too deep into him, demanding he’d be honest with her.
Without opening his eyes, he admitted what he should have kept to himself. “I love you.”
As he made a motion to lift himself off her, she hooked one leg around his, holding him back. His eyes flew open, and he pinned her.
There was a warm smile on Portia’s face. “I think I should explain the rules to you again,” she said softly.
