Zen and the Art of Vampires

Chapter 19

"We're here to save you," I told Kristoff, the strange calmness continuing despite the terrible vision of him covered in his own blood.
"I knew you would come." One of the hooded figures spoke. He pushed back his hood. It was, as I suspected, Frederic. "I knew you would not be able to refuse the light. Seize them."
The two hooded people headed for us, but Alec whipped out a gun. "Touch her, and you die," he warned them.
"It's all right," I started to say, but when I reached out to stop him, a bolt of energy shot down my arm right into him, sending him flying several feet until he smacked into one of the tall fingers of stone.
"Holy Jehoshaphat," I cried, and would have run to him, but one of the hooded people grabbed me. I struggled, knocking the hood off the person, revealing the rather square face of a blond woman. She was built like a wrestler, though, and quickly twisted one of my arms up behind my back, using her other hand to press down on my throat in a manner that could easily disrupt airflow.
The other person, a man, reached Alec.
"If you hurt him, you'll be more than sorry," I swore, making a futile effort to get free.
"There is no sense in struggling, Zorya Pia. Greta is a member of the Norwegian military." Frederic strolled over to where Alec lay prone. He poked him with his foot, rolling Alec over onto his back.
I gasped in horror. The side of Alec's face and neck was a bloody pulp, as if the flesh had been melted away. "Dear god - did I do that?"
"It is the cleansing power of the light," Frederic answered, sauntering over to where I was held by Greta.
"Should I bring him to the altar?" the other Brotherhood guy asked, glancing from Alec to Frederic.
"Not yet. We will attend to this one first, then deal with him. My dear, you do us proud." Frederic stopped in front of me, giving me a benevolent smile. "Only made a Zorya for a few minutes, and you've already begun to wield the light. We are pleased."
I blinked back tears as I dragged my gaze from where Alec lay in a bloody heap to the monster who'd so misled me. Could Mattias have been right after all? Was I going to be nothing but a tool to destroy innocent people?
I closed my eyes for a moment, too sickened by what I had done to be able to face anyone, but I knew I couldn't hide from the truth. "Let justice roll down like waters."
Frederic raised his eyebrows. "How very apt, although I believe we will let it flow as light." He stepped back, indicating Kristoff. "And here is your first opportunity to see that justice done. We will begin the cleansing ceremony."
Kristoff turned his head slightly. His face was in shadow, but his eyes glowed with an intensity that burned. The accusation in them stung, but I couldn't blame him for thinking the worst of me, not when he'd seen me come close to destroying his friend.
I looked from Kristoff to the man who stood waiting in front of me. "No," I said simply, knowing to the very depths of my soul that I would rather die than allow myself be used to harm anyone. "I won't cleanse anyone. Kristoff doesn't deserve that, nor does Alec."
Kristoff looked stunned for a couple of seconds.
"You really should have more faith in me," I told him.
His jaw worked for a moment, but he said nothing.
"Doesn't deserve it?" For a moment, the mild, pleasant expression on Frederic's face cracked, and rage unlike anything I'd ever seen showed through. I would have taken a step back, but Greta held me immobile.
Frederic leaned his face into mine and hissed, "He killed one of your own people. He killed one of your brothers in the light, apparently before your very eyes. How can you say he doesn't deserve justice for that?"
"He killed in self-defense, and in defense of me," I answered. "I am sorry that one of your people died, but perhaps he shouldn't have been so quick to try to kill us."
"Do you blame him for mistaking you for one sympathetic to this... this monster?" Frederic asked, waving at Kristoff.
"I blame you for a lot of things, but most of all for intolerance. I won't do it," I repeated, shaking my head. "I will not kill for you."
Frederic held out his hand. "Mikael?"
The other man gave him Alec's gun.
Frederic pointed it directly at me.
"That won't do any good," I said with a brave little laugh that I didn't feel in the least. "What are you going to do, shoot your own Zorya? I'm willing to bet there are some sort of rules prohibiting that."
"There are, as a matter of fact," Frederic said, a sour look on his face. "There is nothing that says we cannot hurt you, however. So long as we don't actually kill you, we would not be in violation of the laws that govern us."
"What's a little torture between friends, eh?" I said with forced lightness. "Well, try this on for size - there is nothing you can do that will change my mind. I would rather die than harm anyone else."
He must have seen the truth in my eyes, must have heard the absolute conviction in my voice... or perhaps it was the cloaked and tabarded figure who emerged from behind him who caused him to lower the gun.
"Difficulties?" the figure asked, the hood muffling the word slightly.
I lifted my head, something chiming a little bell of warning in my head.
"Zenith," Frederic said, bowing. I was momentarily startled - the voice that spoke was definitely feminine.
The warning bell in my head got a whole lot louder.
"We are honored by your presence. Light bless you."
"And you, brother." The woman stood next to one of the spikes of stone that marked where a wall had once stood. "I see the ritual is completed."
"It is. But the Zorya is reluctant to assume her duties," Frederic said, his voice filled with gentle chastisement.
Gentle, my ass. If anyone here was a monster, it was him.
"Oh, I don't think she'll give us any trouble." The woman's hand rose and swept back the hood. A malicious, amused gaze challenged mine. "Not holier-than-thou Pia. Not when her friend's life is at stake."
"Denise," I said, both surprised and, at the same time, oddly not surprised to see her. "Somehow, it seems almost fitting that you should be head honcho in a group of self-righteous, intolerant wack jobs."
She smiled and moved out from behind the rock a few feet. I was about to continue when I saw that she, too, held a gun... and it was pointed directly at a woman she pulled out with her.
"Hello," Magda said, giving me a weak grin. "Guess who I ran into on the way over here."
I stared at her in dumb horror.
"I'm sorry," she continued, glancing sideways at Denise. "You were right. I should have stayed out of it."
"It's too late for apologies," Denise said, yanking Magda in front of her. "I should have gotten rid of you two thorns in my side at the beginning."
Frederic, who had been frowning, looked from Magda and Denise to me. "You know the Zenith?"
"I thought I did. She's a member of my tour group."
He rounded on Denise. "You have been in Dalkafjordhur and you did not alert us?"
"Be quiet! You forget to whom you speak!" Denise snapped.
Frederic took a step toward her, gesturing with the gun, clearly baffled. "But you are the Zenith. You should have notified us that you were coming early. It would have changed everything had we known you were here - "
"It would have changed nothing," she snarled. "I do not have to explain my plans to you. You are here to see that they are carried out, nothing more. Do you understand, brother!"
The emphasis she placed on the word was stark, and left me smiling to myself. Frederic was a self-aggrandized man, and he wouldn't take well to being chewed out in front of others.
"As the Zenith commands," he said stiffly, bowing his head in a jerky concession of submission, but I caught a glimpse of his face - he was furious.
Now, how could I use that to get us out of this horrible situation?
"Just so you understand the situation, Pia - if you do not, in the next thirty seconds, begin the ritual of cleansing on this repulsive specimen, Frederic will begin cutting off parts of your friend. Perhaps after witnessing her torment you'll rethink your foolish stand. If you still refuse after we've hacked her to pieces, I'll kill you."
"You can't kill me; I'm the Zorya," I said, my blood chilling despite my bravado. I truly believed she would torture Magda. She seemed so cold, so heartless... and with that thought, a door in my mind opened, flooding me with an absolute knowledge that left me shaking.
"And I'm the Zenith. I can do anything I want."
"Including killing the previous Zorya? It was you, wasn't it? You killed Anniki."
Her expression never changed, but surprise flashed in Frederic's eyes.
"You killed our Zorya?" he asked.
She made an abrupt gesture. "She was a fool, an ignorant fool, and impure to boot. She deceived us with a façade of piety, and we were all taken in. But I sensed something was wrong, and it was - she was ready to betray us, betray the entire Brotherhood by helping the Dark Ones. Once I found out the truth, I knew what had to be done."
I was silent, remembering the light of truth that had shown in Anniki's face the night we spoke together in the caf. Her absolute conviction was not an act, as Denise would have me believe. Which meant that Denise was lying...
"But to kill her without letting us know first?" Frederic's eyes stood out against the pallor of his skin. "We deserved to know."
"Do not even think of telling me how to do my job," Denise snapped at him. "It is my responsibility to ensure the order is protected against those who would drag us down. Your duty - every member's duty - is to protect the order at all costs."
Frederic's jaw tightened. He didn't like what he was hearing, and I didn't blame him.
"I don't believe you," I said, shaking my head, tears burning my eyes as I remembered Anniki's shining face. "She wasn't like that. She believed in what she was doing. She was happy and excited about being a Zorya, about doing what she clearly thought was some way to better the world. She was not a traitor to your cause, however wrong it is."
"You are just like her," Denise pronounced, sending me a look of pure, venomous hatred. "Only you do not hide your taint behind pretended piety. But we know what you are now, and we will take steps to cleanse the darkness out of you as we will your friends."
"Friends into whose arms you pushed me," I said slowly, remembering the stupid bet she'd forced me to accept. "You knew they were vampires then, didn't you?"
"I recognized them." That nasty smile of hers curled her lips again. "I thought of letting them have that little bint Anniki, but it was much easier to just silence her myself... especially since it would implicate you in her death."
"You didn't have to kill her - "
"Silence!" Denise raged, jerking Magda forward a few feet. "You exist solely at my whim, Pia, a fact you should not forget. Anniki was nothing, not worth the time it took to get rid of her, but I did it so that the order would be stronger."
"You're absolutely insane," I said, my skin crawling with horror at the woman who stood in front of me, but even as I recognized the madness in her, I realized there was something wrong, something that didn't quite ring true. "You killed a sweet, innocent woman for no reason. You are the one who is tainting your precious group."
Her eyes narrowed on me. "The Brotherhood is all that matters. In tua luce videmus lucent - in thy light we see light."
My stomach heaved. Poor, poor Anniki, caught between a madwoman and her delusions of piety.
"Enough of this." Denise nodded toward Frederic. "Start the ritual. I don't have time to waste."
Frederic hesitated a moment, but finally gestured to the other two members. Greta reluctantly released me, taking the gun from Frederic and pulling up her hood to join Mikael as they stood at the head and feet of Kristoff. Their voices started a low, singsong chant that Frederic joined in as soon as he pulled a wicked-looking knife from his boot.
Magda's eyes widened at the sight of the blade as it glinted in the light I cast. "Pia?"
"It's all right. Just stay calm. I won't let anyone hurt you." I glanced at Kristoff. He lay mute, his body stretched taut, as still as if he was already dead. His clothing bore long gashes, testimony to the fact that Frederic was not hesitant to use the knife he held so nonchalantly. I swallowed back a knot in my throat, forcing down the rising nausea at the proof of Frederic's savagery, my gaze locking with Kristoff's for a moment that seemed to stretch to an eternity.
His eyes were filled with neither a plea nor condemnation. He simply watched me with interest, as if I was some sort of specimen he was examining under a high-powered microscope.
"Any last words?" I asked him, keeping my face placid.
His brows rose slightly, and I saw his Adam's apple bob. "None," he finally said.
I nodded and stepped forward, my eyes on the dagger that Frederic held.
As the chanting increased in volume, something whirled off to the side, like a mini cyclone. Grass and leaves spiraled upward into the air, dust from the dirt it raised leaving a cloudy haze that formed itself into an oval about the size of a small car.
"Ostri," Frederic said, glancing at me, a slight smile on his face as I gazed in astonishment at it.
"That's... heaven?" I asked.
"It is the gateway to Ostri. It is there that you will lead the spirits who have looked to you for guidance - once you have completed the cleansing."
The stone that swung gently from my wrist had turned into a lantern, glowing in a light identical to that which shimmered around my body. It grew brighter.
"Is that it?" a breathless voice asked behind me. I turned to see motes of light gathering in the air, reforming themselves into Marta. "Is that Ostri?"
"That's it. Where are the others?"
"Coming. It's so beautiful," she said, her voice filled with awe as she stared at the dusty portal.
"I guess it is." I couldn't help but smile as the other ghosts slowly re-formed themselves, all of them staring with identical expressions of unadulterated delight at their long-sought destination. "Before you go, I just want to thank you all for everything you've done. No matter what else has happened, or will happen, I'm truly pleased that you will be able to move on."
Dagrun clicked her tongue against her teeth and pushed forward, past the other ghosts, past where Frederic stood, past Kristoff and the still-unmoving Alec. "I'm not going to stay for the speeches. Farewell and all that." She stepped into the swirling mist and disappeared.
"Go ahead, all of you," I told the ghosts, turning back from their beatific smiles as they spoke good-byes before drifting into the vortex.
I had a job to do still, a horrible one that lay before me.
"Get to it, already," Denise ordered, jerking Magda forward another couple of steps.
"In tua luce videmus lucem," Frederic said, gesturing toward Kristoff. "Now is the time, Zorya, daughter of the moon. Draw on our strength. Channel the light that flows through you from the moon goddess mother to cleanse the abomination that lies before us. Right the wrongs."
The chanting increased in volume, filling me with a euphoric sense of lightness. The light increased in intensity, surrounding me with a corona of power that threatened to burst free and fill the entire hilltop.
Kristoff's gaze met mine, and for a moment, for a second, I was possessed with the absolute knowledge that I could end his suffering. It would be humane. It would be quick. It would be... unjust.
"Ulfur?" I asked, struggling to rein back the light that wanted so desperately to pour forth.
"Here."
The air rippled behind Denise.
"Now," I said, spinning around to face the two women. Ulfur materialized, throwing himself forward onto Denise, knocking the gun from her hand as Magda was sent flying with a startled cry.
I gathered the light and yelled as I flung it at Denise, "This is for Anniki!"
The light hit her with the impact of a sledgehammer, flinging her backward at least a dozen feet.
Frederic froze for a second, then leaped at me, his face twisting in hate. "If you will not use the light, then I will!"
A sharp burning pain bit deep into my side. I stared down in horror to see him pulling the knife from my side. The blade glistened with blood, but glowed with a pure white light that faded from me even as I watched.
Frederic whirled and ran toward Kristoff. Denise, still struggling with Ulfur, screamed an order to kill me. Magda picked up a rock and slammed it on her head, pointing beyond me and yelling.
Alec had risen to his feet, the right side of his body still rather gruesome, but miraculously partly healed. He lunged forward, knocking Mikael aside in a desperate attempt to free Kristoff's hands.
Greta shot him three times in the chest, sending Alec to his knees.
I knew with absolute certainty that Frederic was going to plunge the light-drenched dagger into Kristoff's heart, and I had no power left to stop him.
I acted without thinking. I leaped forward, throwing myself toward Kristoff, screaming, "No!"
Frederic raised the dagger high in both hands, chanting in a high, strange voice, "In tua luce videmus lucem!" before jerking his hands down.
The knife bit into my back as I landed on top of Kristoff. Alec hauled himself to his feet, still frantically trying to free Kristoff's hands despite the fact that Greta continued to empty her gun into him.
Pain blossomed slowly as I lifted my head, a hot glow spreading out from the blade in slow waves of heat that quickly picked up intensity.
Shouts rang out through the trees, familiar voices calling to Kristoff and Alec.
"The light must have faded," I told Kristoff, who lay prone beneath me, the waves of heat starting to make thinking difficult. "I told you to have faith in me."
"I do," he said, the lovely teal of his eyes burning bright.
Frederic screamed as the vampires reached him.
Magda rushed over to me, gasping at the knife that I knew was protruding from my back. "Dear god in heaven, Pia. Dear god!"
"I'm all right," I said, my voice a croak as hands helped me off Kristoff and the stone. My head was swimming, but I made an effort to clear it. Alec, after having kicked the gun from Greta, sent her flying into Rowan's waiting arms, and staggered toward me, grabbing me in a careful but tight embrace.
"My love, my brave love. It is all over, my Beloved. Do not cry, it is over."
I wasn't crying, but I was shaking with the aftereffects of having been twice stabbed. I didn't complain, however, as Alec cradled me, murmuring words of comfort.
"What are you doing? You can't move her!" Magda ordered, trying to pry Alec's hands off of me. "She's been stabbed! We have to get her to a hospital! Dear god, don't any of you know how to treat someone who's been stabbed? Pia, sweetie, lie down. We'll call an aid unit."
"There is no need for mortal assistance," I heard Christian say. I lifted my head, looking at him. He eyed my back carefully for a moment, then, to my surprise, smiled.
"I realize you don't like me, and you'd probably like me dead at this very moment, but I would like to point out that I did not harm any of your people, and I am wounded."
"That doesn't matter anymore," he said, the odd smile still on his lips.
Alec suddenly stepped back, an indescribable expression on his face.
"There will be repercussions, Pia."
"What?" I dragged my attention from Alec to him.
"I'm sure you still want me dead, but I can assure you - "
"The council will speak to you later, after things have sorted themselves out."
"I must be in shock again," I said, shaking my head. "None of this is making any sense."
"If you are in shock, then so am I. Why are you standing around smiling?" Magda demanded to know.
"She is a Beloved. She is immortal," Christian said, and before I could say anything he plucked the knife from my back.
I yelped and spun around. "Hey!"
"The wound will heal by itself in a few minutes," he told me, glancing beyond to Alec. "I will leave you to Alec. He will no doubt wish to explain to you what it is to be a Beloved."
"But I thought..." I blinked a few times, but as usual, that didn't make things any clearer. "A Beloved? How can that be?"
"You sacrificed yourself," Alec said, his expression stunned. "You saved Kristoff. They would have killed me, too, after him, but you... I... I don't know..."
He stumbled off a few feet, looking as if the ground had been pulled out from under his feet.
I looked over to where Kristoff was being assisted to his feet by Rowan and Andreas.
"So I really am a Beloved after all?" I asked, feeling oddly empty inside.
"You are." Christian gave me a long look, then handed me a business card. "We will be in contact."
Then he turned and strode off to where the others were holding Frederic and his buddies.
"What is happening?" I asked no one in particular.
"I'd say your friends are all nutters, but you know, that guy is right - the wound has healed itself up," Magda said, examining my back.
"I'm Alec's Beloved," I said, trying to come to grips with the fact. Saying it aloud didn't seem to help.
Kristoff took a step toward me, hesitated, then walked past without saying a word.
Pain lanced through me. I saved his life and he couldn't even acknowledge that? More than ever I felt like crying. Kristoff might be upset that I was his friend's Beloved, but it hurt that he couldn't even face me.
"You're welcome," I said, fighting tears.
"He has been gravely wounded," Rowan said before he went over to help the others as they stood guard over the Brotherhood people.
Ulfur stood silently watching us, Ragnar behind him, both of them nearly invisible. They must have exhausted their reserves.
"Thank you," I told Ulfur, and he summoned up enough energy to materialize a physical form long enough for me to hug him. "You saved us all, but the time has come for you to go. Everyone is waiting for you."
He gave me a sad smile and faded back to a translucent state. "It's too late."
I turned to look at the entrance to Ostri, but it was gone. It must have disappeared when the ritual was stopped.
"No," I said, my shoulders drooping. "Oh, Ulfur - "
"It's all right," he said, lifting a hand to me. "I kind of like this world. It is interesting, at least. Be well, Zorya Pia. Go with the blessing of the village."
Pain spun through me, pain and regret so great I wanted to howl to the sky about the injustices of the world that couldn't be made right.
Magda touched my arm. "Is it over?"
"Yes." I couldn't move. My legs were like lead weights, as heavy as my spirits.
"The good guys won?"
"Yes."
She patted me gently, careful to avoid the two puncture points. "You did the right thing, but I never doubted you would. And hey, look at it this way - you not only got a new career and two husbands, now you have a vampire of your very own."
A vampire of my own. I stood numbly thinking about that as she wandered over to offer her help to the remaining vampires. Lucky me, bound for all eternity to man I didn't know.
But it didn't have to stay that way, did it? We were bound together now - Kristoff had said that Beloveds and their Dark Ones could talk together without words, use some sort of mental telepathy to communicate. It seemed to me that would offer a good way to learn about someone.
Are you out there? I asked, my eyes on the retreating figure of Alec as he caught up to Kristoff, the two of them about move out of sight into the trees. Can you hear me? Does this really work?
Yes, it does. The voice was instantly there in my head, as loud as if it had been spoken in my ear.
My delight was short-lived. The man who turned back to look at me with an expression of stunned surprise wasn't Alec... it was Kristoff.
Dear god. It wasn't Alec. My mind whirled around helplessly, trying to understand what had happened.
Kristoff's gaze met mine over the distance, and I realized that the pain and regret I felt originated from him. He didn't want me. He never had I was merely a warm body to feed him and satisfy a purely physical need. His heart was still bound in grief to the woman who'd been so cruelly killed, a woman who by all accounts should have been the one to redeem him.
Not me. But life is cruel, and we'd been bound together for the rest of our lives.
For eternity.
My heart cried out as he turned away and disappeared into the inky darkness of the forest.