Zip, Zero, Zilch
Page 41
“I fucking love it.” My heart thrills.
“But?”
“But I’m just not sure.”
He laughs. “No one ever is. You just have to go with your gut. If it’s meant to be, you’ll meet her somewhere near the middle and fall in love with her too.”
“Oh, I already did.”
He looks up and smiles. “Really?”
A grin tips the corners of my lips. “Yeah.”
“What does love mean to you?” he asks.
“It means that if something happened to her tomorrow, I don’t know if I would ever be the same.”
“Love does that to you.”
“Did you feel like Friday was yours long before she knew she was yours?”
He laughs. “I knew she was mine the first time I kissed her. Then I just had to convince her.”
“Do you ever feel like you dragged her along? Like maybe it wasn’t her idea?”
He shakes his head. “Never. Is that what you feel like you’re doing with Peck?”
I run a hand through my hair. “I don’t know. She told me she loves me. And she sleeps in my bed every night. And now if she left me, she’d leave a hole behind. That’s all.”
“Has she talked to her mom yet?”
I shake my head. “Not that I know of. That’s kind of why she’s with me. So she can stay away from her mom.”
“Maybe she needs to face that. Then she could at least be with you by choice rather than by necessity. You’d probably feel a little bit more comfortable about her reason for being there if you knew she was there for you, and not just for the safety of your apartment.” He shrugs. “But what do I know. I had to have Friday lead me around by my dick piercing to get it.” He grins.
“So, do you think she might?” I ask quietly.
“I think she’s an idiot if she doesn’t.”
“She’s going on tour soon.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I’m going to miss her like crazy.”
“Be sure to tell her that.”
“I will.”
“You know Logan and Emily are going to be traveling with them, right?” He gets a gleam in his eye.
“Yeah. Why?”
“Just saying.”
I just wish I knew what he was just saying.
“So, you’re the last one to fall,” he says. He’s serious all of a sudden. “I never really worried about you. I worried more about Pete, because I knew you had more ability to love than any of the rest of us.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I don’t know,” he hedges. “You just wore your heart on your sleeve. You love, and you love well and true. That’s one of your strengths.”
“I’m not sure if strength is the right word.”
“A lot of men would be put off by her stutter. Embarrassed by it. You’re not, are you?”
“I don’t even notice it when she does it, but last night we had a whole conversation without her stuttering even once.”
“She’s learning to trust you.”
“God, I hope so.”
“She reminds me a lot of Emily with her dyslexia. She fought so hard to hide it until she met Logan, and then she pretty much had to learn to trust him, and know that he saw all of her and not just her disability. Is that what Peck’s doing?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“It sounds like she’s learning to trust you. She told you she loves you. She talks. She talks without stuttering. It sounds like you’ve assured her that it’s the whole package you’re in love with. Not just parts of her.”
“She grew up in foster care.”
He nods. “I know. She told Friday about it. It was pretty hard for her until Emilio took one look at her and found a daughter.”
That warms my heart. “Is that how it happened? I thought they just went for ice cream and he took her home, along with all the others.”
“Ask her. Hell, ask him.”
I nod. I will. “So, when do I tell her I love her? Without scaring her?”
“You didn’t tell her when she told you?”
“I couldn’t…hell, I couldn’t talk.”
He laughs. “God, that’s a good feeling, isn’t it?”
“Not particularly.”
“No, it’s perfect,” he corrects me. “Your heart is in your throat and your head starts to swim and you suddenly can’t talk, all because your heart is too full. That’s when you know she’s the right one. It’s when the emotions slap you in the face and you don’t care.”
“Do you think I’ll ever play football again? I mean, the way I used to?”
“I think you can do anything you want to do. I didn’t raise any quitters.”
“What if I don’t want to play ball for the rest of my life?”
He shrugs. “Do what you want to do.”
“When I first started, I wanted it because there was more money involved than I could ever imagine having.”
“What did you want the money for?”
“To take care of my family. Pete went to jail trying to take care of everyone. And I should have too.”
“But you didn’t. You got an opportunity most people only dream of.”
“Exactly.”
“With that said, though, you need to set yourself up with things you love. Not things you can only tolerate. A woman you love. An occupation you love. A home you love. Children you love. If you settle, you’ll never be happy. Not really.”
“But?”
“But I’m just not sure.”
He laughs. “No one ever is. You just have to go with your gut. If it’s meant to be, you’ll meet her somewhere near the middle and fall in love with her too.”
“Oh, I already did.”
He looks up and smiles. “Really?”
A grin tips the corners of my lips. “Yeah.”
“What does love mean to you?” he asks.
“It means that if something happened to her tomorrow, I don’t know if I would ever be the same.”
“Love does that to you.”
“Did you feel like Friday was yours long before she knew she was yours?”
He laughs. “I knew she was mine the first time I kissed her. Then I just had to convince her.”
“Do you ever feel like you dragged her along? Like maybe it wasn’t her idea?”
He shakes his head. “Never. Is that what you feel like you’re doing with Peck?”
I run a hand through my hair. “I don’t know. She told me she loves me. And she sleeps in my bed every night. And now if she left me, she’d leave a hole behind. That’s all.”
“Has she talked to her mom yet?”
I shake my head. “Not that I know of. That’s kind of why she’s with me. So she can stay away from her mom.”
“Maybe she needs to face that. Then she could at least be with you by choice rather than by necessity. You’d probably feel a little bit more comfortable about her reason for being there if you knew she was there for you, and not just for the safety of your apartment.” He shrugs. “But what do I know. I had to have Friday lead me around by my dick piercing to get it.” He grins.
“So, do you think she might?” I ask quietly.
“I think she’s an idiot if she doesn’t.”
“She’s going on tour soon.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I’m going to miss her like crazy.”
“Be sure to tell her that.”
“I will.”
“You know Logan and Emily are going to be traveling with them, right?” He gets a gleam in his eye.
“Yeah. Why?”
“Just saying.”
I just wish I knew what he was just saying.
“So, you’re the last one to fall,” he says. He’s serious all of a sudden. “I never really worried about you. I worried more about Pete, because I knew you had more ability to love than any of the rest of us.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I don’t know,” he hedges. “You just wore your heart on your sleeve. You love, and you love well and true. That’s one of your strengths.”
“I’m not sure if strength is the right word.”
“A lot of men would be put off by her stutter. Embarrassed by it. You’re not, are you?”
“I don’t even notice it when she does it, but last night we had a whole conversation without her stuttering even once.”
“She’s learning to trust you.”
“God, I hope so.”
“She reminds me a lot of Emily with her dyslexia. She fought so hard to hide it until she met Logan, and then she pretty much had to learn to trust him, and know that he saw all of her and not just her disability. Is that what Peck’s doing?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“It sounds like she’s learning to trust you. She told you she loves you. She talks. She talks without stuttering. It sounds like you’ve assured her that it’s the whole package you’re in love with. Not just parts of her.”
“She grew up in foster care.”
He nods. “I know. She told Friday about it. It was pretty hard for her until Emilio took one look at her and found a daughter.”
That warms my heart. “Is that how it happened? I thought they just went for ice cream and he took her home, along with all the others.”
“Ask her. Hell, ask him.”
I nod. I will. “So, when do I tell her I love her? Without scaring her?”
“You didn’t tell her when she told you?”
“I couldn’t…hell, I couldn’t talk.”
He laughs. “God, that’s a good feeling, isn’t it?”
“Not particularly.”
“No, it’s perfect,” he corrects me. “Your heart is in your throat and your head starts to swim and you suddenly can’t talk, all because your heart is too full. That’s when you know she’s the right one. It’s when the emotions slap you in the face and you don’t care.”
“Do you think I’ll ever play football again? I mean, the way I used to?”
“I think you can do anything you want to do. I didn’t raise any quitters.”
“What if I don’t want to play ball for the rest of my life?”
He shrugs. “Do what you want to do.”
“When I first started, I wanted it because there was more money involved than I could ever imagine having.”
“What did you want the money for?”
“To take care of my family. Pete went to jail trying to take care of everyone. And I should have too.”
“But you didn’t. You got an opportunity most people only dream of.”
“Exactly.”
“With that said, though, you need to set yourself up with things you love. Not things you can only tolerate. A woman you love. An occupation you love. A home you love. Children you love. If you settle, you’ll never be happy. Not really.”
