A Love Letter to Whiskey
Page 34
“Are you happy?” Jenna asked casually, tossing her long blonde hair over her shoulder as she sipped from her beer. The sun was just setting, the sky fading into a deep navy blue behind the fire. Her question should have been easy to answer, but I made a strange noise before smiling and shrugging. She cocked a brow. “What the hell does that mean?”
“I’m happy,” I said quickly. “I am. Like I said, he’s amazing.”
“You are the worst liar.”
I laughed. “I think it’s just the campaign stuff. I’ll be happy when it’s over.”
Jenna narrowed her eyes, but let me drop it. “Okay, fair enough. So,” she said with a pop, sitting up straighter. “I’m here for a week. What are we doing first?”
I perked up at that, excited for a week with her and plenty of distractions. “Well, we obviously have to hit the beach so you can see what the west coast has to offer. There are a few fun clubs downtown we can get into, and I have at least four places you have to eat at before you can leave the city — starting with The Taco Stand in La Jolla.”
Jenna squealed excitedly. “Can we go dancing somewhere?!”
“Duh!”
We laughed, and as the noise faded, I took in the moment to truly appreciate the fact that she was there. “I’m so glad you came, Jenna. Your timing actually couldn’t have been better.”
She nudged me. “Must be that best friend ESP stuff hard at work.”
“Must be.” I unscrewed the metal cap off my flask and tapped her red plastic cup with it. “Cheers, bitch.”
“Cheers.”
We tilted our drinks back, and Jenna opened her mouth to say something but was cut off.
“Well I’ll be damned.”
Jenna turned and I closed my eyes, pushing an exhale out through my nose as my stomach somersaulted.
“Jamie?!” She jumped up, throwing her arms around his neck as I held tight to my flask and lifted it to my mouth again. “What the hell? What are you doing here?”
He laughed, and I finally chanced a look at him. He had on the same hoodie from two nights ago and memories hit me like flashes of lightning, quick and beautiful, one right after another. His hair was disheveled, his eyes low, lazy smile in place. One glance, that’s all I needed for two things to sink in — one, he was drunk, and two, I was in trouble.
“What do you mean? I go to school here.”
Jenna’s mouth gaped open and she turned to me, brows pinched together in confusion. “What? Oh my God, B, how did you never tell me Jamie went to the same school as you?”
Jamie turned to me then, an easy, cocky smile playing at his lips. “She never told you, huh?”
My fingers nervously played with my curls and I shrugged, smile tight. “I figured you saw on social media or something.”
“Yeah right,” she giggled the words. “This asshole deleted me after he broke my heart.”
Oh God, she was flirting.
Jamie lifted one eyebrow, his smile growing as his eyes swept Jenna’s body. “I seem to remember being on the other side of that heartbreak.”
Now I was having a different kind of flashback, to that first day on the trail, the way they were looking at each other, studying each other, wondering where the other had been hiding. I tried to swallow, but came up empty. Shooting to my feet, I forced a smile and looped my arm through Jenna’s. “We should make the rounds, I want to introduce you to everyone.”
She was still looking up at Jamie, but she spoke to me. “Yeah, in a minute. I think Jamie needs a drink.”
I knew by the glazed look in his eyes that he had already had plenty, but his hands were currently empty. Our eyes connected, just for a second, and the anger I’d seen earlier had completely vanished. I tried to ask him something in that short moment I had his eyes on mine, but I wasn’t sure what. He dropped his gaze back to Jenna too quickly for me to figure it out.
“That I do. Escort me?” he asked, holding out his arm. Jenna dropped mine like a hot rock and took his offer.
“Of course.” They started walking, and Jenna turned over her shoulder to mouth oh my God to me before waggling her eyebrows and smiling back up at Jamie. I just watched them leave, flopping down on the bench with a sigh.
Fuck.
I realized quickly what kind of night it would be, so I drained three long shots from my flask and gritted against the sting. I needed an escape, I needed a break from my thoughts.
I needed to get drunk.
For the first half hour after that, I watched them together, sipping from my flask every other minute. I watched as they filled their cups, as they talked and laughed, as Jenna took every chance she could to reach out and touch him. When they made their way over to a bench at the fire pit opposite me, I stood abruptly, pausing a moment as the whiskey hit me all at once. Shaking it off, I scanned the fires until I found Ethan, weaving my way through the crowd toward him.
I was not going to torture myself. Jamie was my friend, Jenna was my best friend. They’d been together once before, so what if they rekindled that flame for the next week that she was here? It would be just like high school.
Except back then, I hadn’t slept with Jamie. I hadn’t felt him burn himself into my skin, brand me, ruin me.
I huffed, shaking my head. It was one night, and it wasn’t a big deal. It clearly didn’t matter to Jamie and it shouldn’t matter to me. I had Ethan, and Jamie had every other blonde bunny on campus. Things were back to normal.
I repeated that as I drained the last of my flask.
“Hey, there you are,” Ethan said with a smile as I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and slid into his lap.
“Here I am.” I kissed him hard, fists gripping his shirt to pull him closer. I needed him, I needed to fill myself with his scent and erase Jamie’s.
“Whoa,” he said against my lips, but I just pressed my lips into him harder. “Hey, you okay?” He’d pulled back, scanning me, judging my intoxication level, no doubt.
“Peachy. Just kissing my boyfriend.” I smiled and he returned it, but hesitantly. “What are you guys talking about?”
Shayla had turned away at some point, probably feeling a little awkward at my public display of affection, but she lit up then. “Oh! We were just talking about switching things up at our tents next week, really ramping up before the election, you know?” I nodded, reaching for my flask before realizing it was empty. “What do you think of ice cream instead of pizza?”
“I’m happy,” I said quickly. “I am. Like I said, he’s amazing.”
“You are the worst liar.”
I laughed. “I think it’s just the campaign stuff. I’ll be happy when it’s over.”
Jenna narrowed her eyes, but let me drop it. “Okay, fair enough. So,” she said with a pop, sitting up straighter. “I’m here for a week. What are we doing first?”
I perked up at that, excited for a week with her and plenty of distractions. “Well, we obviously have to hit the beach so you can see what the west coast has to offer. There are a few fun clubs downtown we can get into, and I have at least four places you have to eat at before you can leave the city — starting with The Taco Stand in La Jolla.”
Jenna squealed excitedly. “Can we go dancing somewhere?!”
“Duh!”
We laughed, and as the noise faded, I took in the moment to truly appreciate the fact that she was there. “I’m so glad you came, Jenna. Your timing actually couldn’t have been better.”
She nudged me. “Must be that best friend ESP stuff hard at work.”
“Must be.” I unscrewed the metal cap off my flask and tapped her red plastic cup with it. “Cheers, bitch.”
“Cheers.”
We tilted our drinks back, and Jenna opened her mouth to say something but was cut off.
“Well I’ll be damned.”
Jenna turned and I closed my eyes, pushing an exhale out through my nose as my stomach somersaulted.
“Jamie?!” She jumped up, throwing her arms around his neck as I held tight to my flask and lifted it to my mouth again. “What the hell? What are you doing here?”
He laughed, and I finally chanced a look at him. He had on the same hoodie from two nights ago and memories hit me like flashes of lightning, quick and beautiful, one right after another. His hair was disheveled, his eyes low, lazy smile in place. One glance, that’s all I needed for two things to sink in — one, he was drunk, and two, I was in trouble.
“What do you mean? I go to school here.”
Jenna’s mouth gaped open and she turned to me, brows pinched together in confusion. “What? Oh my God, B, how did you never tell me Jamie went to the same school as you?”
Jamie turned to me then, an easy, cocky smile playing at his lips. “She never told you, huh?”
My fingers nervously played with my curls and I shrugged, smile tight. “I figured you saw on social media or something.”
“Yeah right,” she giggled the words. “This asshole deleted me after he broke my heart.”
Oh God, she was flirting.
Jamie lifted one eyebrow, his smile growing as his eyes swept Jenna’s body. “I seem to remember being on the other side of that heartbreak.”
Now I was having a different kind of flashback, to that first day on the trail, the way they were looking at each other, studying each other, wondering where the other had been hiding. I tried to swallow, but came up empty. Shooting to my feet, I forced a smile and looped my arm through Jenna’s. “We should make the rounds, I want to introduce you to everyone.”
She was still looking up at Jamie, but she spoke to me. “Yeah, in a minute. I think Jamie needs a drink.”
I knew by the glazed look in his eyes that he had already had plenty, but his hands were currently empty. Our eyes connected, just for a second, and the anger I’d seen earlier had completely vanished. I tried to ask him something in that short moment I had his eyes on mine, but I wasn’t sure what. He dropped his gaze back to Jenna too quickly for me to figure it out.
“That I do. Escort me?” he asked, holding out his arm. Jenna dropped mine like a hot rock and took his offer.
“Of course.” They started walking, and Jenna turned over her shoulder to mouth oh my God to me before waggling her eyebrows and smiling back up at Jamie. I just watched them leave, flopping down on the bench with a sigh.
Fuck.
I realized quickly what kind of night it would be, so I drained three long shots from my flask and gritted against the sting. I needed an escape, I needed a break from my thoughts.
I needed to get drunk.
For the first half hour after that, I watched them together, sipping from my flask every other minute. I watched as they filled their cups, as they talked and laughed, as Jenna took every chance she could to reach out and touch him. When they made their way over to a bench at the fire pit opposite me, I stood abruptly, pausing a moment as the whiskey hit me all at once. Shaking it off, I scanned the fires until I found Ethan, weaving my way through the crowd toward him.
I was not going to torture myself. Jamie was my friend, Jenna was my best friend. They’d been together once before, so what if they rekindled that flame for the next week that she was here? It would be just like high school.
Except back then, I hadn’t slept with Jamie. I hadn’t felt him burn himself into my skin, brand me, ruin me.
I huffed, shaking my head. It was one night, and it wasn’t a big deal. It clearly didn’t matter to Jamie and it shouldn’t matter to me. I had Ethan, and Jamie had every other blonde bunny on campus. Things were back to normal.
I repeated that as I drained the last of my flask.
“Hey, there you are,” Ethan said with a smile as I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and slid into his lap.
“Here I am.” I kissed him hard, fists gripping his shirt to pull him closer. I needed him, I needed to fill myself with his scent and erase Jamie’s.
“Whoa,” he said against my lips, but I just pressed my lips into him harder. “Hey, you okay?” He’d pulled back, scanning me, judging my intoxication level, no doubt.
“Peachy. Just kissing my boyfriend.” I smiled and he returned it, but hesitantly. “What are you guys talking about?”
Shayla had turned away at some point, probably feeling a little awkward at my public display of affection, but she lit up then. “Oh! We were just talking about switching things up at our tents next week, really ramping up before the election, you know?” I nodded, reaching for my flask before realizing it was empty. “What do you think of ice cream instead of pizza?”
