A Second Chance
Page 20
“Okay.” He lingered with those dark eyes on her just a moment longer before he left the bedroom and shut the door behind him.
Madeline tapped her fingers on the seat belt buckle as Carlos pulled the car into the parking lot of the medical building. Nerves had gripped every muscle in her body and squeezed them until she felt numb. She fidgeted, trying to keep herself calm. It wasn’t the doctor’s visit making her nervous. It was the feeling that kept creeping into her heart when Carlos was around.
He must have sensed her anxiety. He placed his hand over hers until she stopped tapping her fingers, then put his hand back on the steering wheel. “So do you have any plans this weekend?”
“No. I don’t make too many plans anymore.”
He turned his head to look at her. “Come to dinner at Mom and Dad’s.”
“No.”
He adjusted behind the wheel and drove down the aisle, looking for a parking space. “Now you’ve hurt my feelings.”
“I didn’t mean to. I just don’t think I belong there, that’s all.”
“What makes you say that?”
“You have a fiancée, Carlos. You don’t need me at a family dinner.”
“But you are family.”
“I’m ex-family.”
“We’ve never made you feel that way,” he said sharply as he pulled into a space.
“No. You and your family have been very gracious to me. They always have been. But I can’t do that to Kathy. She’s sharing you enough, and I don’t want to jeopardize her kindness toward me either.”
Carlos pulled into a parking space and put the car in park. “Kathy knows I’m inviting you, and she thinks it will be nice for you to be with everyone.”
“Really?” She turned her head to capture his stare. “She said that?”
“Yes, she said that.”
Madeline shook her head. It shouldn’t have bothered her that the woman was so willing to accept her, but it did. There was a part of her that wanted to be ex-family. She didn’t want to think they still liked her and accepted her. It would have been easier if they didn’t. But that wasn’t how the Keller family worked. She let out a deep breath. “You are marrying one amazing woman.”
“I sure am. C’mon.”
Those few words stuck her like a knife. What had she expected? He loved Kathy, she knew that. But she realized he’d been so attentive to her, she’d let her thoughts wander toward the absurd as if he’d ever give it all up for her, again.
Carlos climbed out of the car and walked around to her side. He opened her door and extended his hand. She pushed it away and climbed out of the car. Without even waiting for him, she started toward the building.
“Maddie!” Carlos called after her. “Wait!” He reached for her arm and turned her toward him. “What just happened? What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing!” How could she possibly tell him her heart was hurting because she still loved him and always had? How could she tell him that, when she knew he was marrying a woman who was so much more than she was? Kathy wasn’t petty, but Madeline was finding out that she was. Obviously Kathy wasn’t the jealous type either, but the green-eyed monster was eating Madeline one gracious comment at a time.
Carlos let go of her arm, but he kept his eyes focused on her. “Don’t lie to me. I know you so much better than you think.”
He did. He knew her inside and out and vice versa. So why couldn’t she let it go? Why couldn’t she just let him be happy?
“I’m sorry. I’m not handling all of this too well.”
“Why should you?” He pulled her to him. “Cancer isn’t just something that comes and goes. You have to fight it. You’re doing that. That doctor is going to tell us you’re doing great. I know this.”
She nodded against his chest, taking in the comfort he offered.
“Besides.” He brushed his hand down her back, causing a guilty little shiver there. “You’ve never backed down from anything. You’re not going to back down now.”
No, she’d never backed down from anything until the day one of them decided he needed to move out. Now, she couldn’t even remember who’d mentioned it first.
Madeline changed into her gown and lay on the exam table. Then she called for Carlos, who had waited just beyond the door.
When he walked into the room, he smiled at her, but she knew it was only to keep her calm. There was a fire burning beyond his eyes. Worry was consuming him as much as jealousy was consuming her.
He took her hand in his. “The doctor is in the next room. He’ll be in, in a few minutes.”
Madeline nodded. She wished she could explain her feelings to him, but what would it matter? He was being friendly. He’d always been friendly when it came to her. “Are you sure Kathy is okay with me coming to dinner?”
“Of course.”
She nodded. “I think that would be great. I’ll be there.”
The worry in his eyes changed, and at that moment she knew he was happy. His beautiful smile had her heart racing, again. She remembered the first time he’d ever smiled at her. Tall, dark, and handsome was an understatement. She’d fallen in love with his smile, and then his eyes, and then that deep voice that cracked because it hadn’t settled into the fifteen-year-old body of the man she’d later fall in love with.
He stroked her knuckles with his thumb. “I’ll come by and get you.”
“No. I’ll meet you there.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. It’ll be best for everyone.”
“Are you already planning an escape?”
“Me?” She laughed. “No. I was offering you one.”
The door opened, and the doctor walked through with a clipboard in his arm. “Madeline, how are you?”
“I’m doing fine.” She shook his hand.
“Dr. Martin,” he introduced himself, turning to Carlos and holding out his hand.
“Carlos Keller,” he said shaking the doctor’s hand.
“Carlos is my ex-husband, and”—she turned her eyes toward him—”he’s my best friend. He’s helping me get through this.”
Carlos gave her hand a squeeze. She wondered if it felt as weird to him to call her his ex-wife. No matter how long it had been, it still squeezed at her heart to say it.
Madeline tapped her fingers on the seat belt buckle as Carlos pulled the car into the parking lot of the medical building. Nerves had gripped every muscle in her body and squeezed them until she felt numb. She fidgeted, trying to keep herself calm. It wasn’t the doctor’s visit making her nervous. It was the feeling that kept creeping into her heart when Carlos was around.
He must have sensed her anxiety. He placed his hand over hers until she stopped tapping her fingers, then put his hand back on the steering wheel. “So do you have any plans this weekend?”
“No. I don’t make too many plans anymore.”
He turned his head to look at her. “Come to dinner at Mom and Dad’s.”
“No.”
He adjusted behind the wheel and drove down the aisle, looking for a parking space. “Now you’ve hurt my feelings.”
“I didn’t mean to. I just don’t think I belong there, that’s all.”
“What makes you say that?”
“You have a fiancée, Carlos. You don’t need me at a family dinner.”
“But you are family.”
“I’m ex-family.”
“We’ve never made you feel that way,” he said sharply as he pulled into a space.
“No. You and your family have been very gracious to me. They always have been. But I can’t do that to Kathy. She’s sharing you enough, and I don’t want to jeopardize her kindness toward me either.”
Carlos pulled into a parking space and put the car in park. “Kathy knows I’m inviting you, and she thinks it will be nice for you to be with everyone.”
“Really?” She turned her head to capture his stare. “She said that?”
“Yes, she said that.”
Madeline shook her head. It shouldn’t have bothered her that the woman was so willing to accept her, but it did. There was a part of her that wanted to be ex-family. She didn’t want to think they still liked her and accepted her. It would have been easier if they didn’t. But that wasn’t how the Keller family worked. She let out a deep breath. “You are marrying one amazing woman.”
“I sure am. C’mon.”
Those few words stuck her like a knife. What had she expected? He loved Kathy, she knew that. But she realized he’d been so attentive to her, she’d let her thoughts wander toward the absurd as if he’d ever give it all up for her, again.
Carlos climbed out of the car and walked around to her side. He opened her door and extended his hand. She pushed it away and climbed out of the car. Without even waiting for him, she started toward the building.
“Maddie!” Carlos called after her. “Wait!” He reached for her arm and turned her toward him. “What just happened? What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing!” How could she possibly tell him her heart was hurting because she still loved him and always had? How could she tell him that, when she knew he was marrying a woman who was so much more than she was? Kathy wasn’t petty, but Madeline was finding out that she was. Obviously Kathy wasn’t the jealous type either, but the green-eyed monster was eating Madeline one gracious comment at a time.
Carlos let go of her arm, but he kept his eyes focused on her. “Don’t lie to me. I know you so much better than you think.”
He did. He knew her inside and out and vice versa. So why couldn’t she let it go? Why couldn’t she just let him be happy?
“I’m sorry. I’m not handling all of this too well.”
“Why should you?” He pulled her to him. “Cancer isn’t just something that comes and goes. You have to fight it. You’re doing that. That doctor is going to tell us you’re doing great. I know this.”
She nodded against his chest, taking in the comfort he offered.
“Besides.” He brushed his hand down her back, causing a guilty little shiver there. “You’ve never backed down from anything. You’re not going to back down now.”
No, she’d never backed down from anything until the day one of them decided he needed to move out. Now, she couldn’t even remember who’d mentioned it first.
Madeline changed into her gown and lay on the exam table. Then she called for Carlos, who had waited just beyond the door.
When he walked into the room, he smiled at her, but she knew it was only to keep her calm. There was a fire burning beyond his eyes. Worry was consuming him as much as jealousy was consuming her.
He took her hand in his. “The doctor is in the next room. He’ll be in, in a few minutes.”
Madeline nodded. She wished she could explain her feelings to him, but what would it matter? He was being friendly. He’d always been friendly when it came to her. “Are you sure Kathy is okay with me coming to dinner?”
“Of course.”
She nodded. “I think that would be great. I’ll be there.”
The worry in his eyes changed, and at that moment she knew he was happy. His beautiful smile had her heart racing, again. She remembered the first time he’d ever smiled at her. Tall, dark, and handsome was an understatement. She’d fallen in love with his smile, and then his eyes, and then that deep voice that cracked because it hadn’t settled into the fifteen-year-old body of the man she’d later fall in love with.
He stroked her knuckles with his thumb. “I’ll come by and get you.”
“No. I’ll meet you there.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. It’ll be best for everyone.”
“Are you already planning an escape?”
“Me?” She laughed. “No. I was offering you one.”
The door opened, and the doctor walked through with a clipboard in his arm. “Madeline, how are you?”
“I’m doing fine.” She shook his hand.
“Dr. Martin,” he introduced himself, turning to Carlos and holding out his hand.
“Carlos Keller,” he said shaking the doctor’s hand.
“Carlos is my ex-husband, and”—she turned her eyes toward him—”he’s my best friend. He’s helping me get through this.”
Carlos gave her hand a squeeze. She wondered if it felt as weird to him to call her his ex-wife. No matter how long it had been, it still squeezed at her heart to say it.
