All I Want
Page 31
A few cars pass me as I stay as far to the side of the road as I can without trudging through the mud. No one stops to ask if I need a ride—not that I’d take it. But the decency factor is missing today from everyone making the trek down Moravia.
I don’t know how long I’ve been walking, but given the ache in my feet I’m going to guess at least fifteen minutes. That’s usually how long these boots allow before I’m cursing myself for ever buying them. My hands tremble as I cup them in front of my mouth and attempt to breathe life into them, but even the air in my lungs seems frigid now, like the rest of me. Another car drives by me and I ignore it like the others, until the sound of it skidding to a stop prompts me to look over my shoulder. The reverse lights come on before the truck backs up in my direction.
The silver truck I’m way too familiar with.
I walk faster, suddenly not giving a shit about the rain and how slick it’s made the pavement. I could slip and knock myself unconscious, but even the threat of that seems better than this chance meeting.
The truck creeps into my peripheral vision but I ignore it, keeping my attention in front of me.
“Tessa?”
I ignore that also as the rain continues pelting down, loud enough to distort the voice I don’t want to hear. I push the hair that’s plastered to the side of my face back and tuck it behind my ear.
The truck moves with me, staying at my side. “What are you doing? Where’s your car?”
“Fuck off!” I yell.
The engine revs again as I quicken my pace.
“What the fuck? Look at you. Get in. You’re going to catch pneumonia or some shit.”
I turn my head and glare at him through the sheet of rain, straining my neck to see up into his truck. “I’d rather catch pneumonia than be anywhere near you! Go fuck yourself, you piece of shit!”
The back end of the truck whips off the road, backing into the mud and blocking my path. I round the front of it with determination just as a door slams shut.
“Are you fucking crazy?” He grabs my arm and spins me around, keeping his grip on my elbow as the rain soaks the front of him. Water runs down his face, grazing the bump in his nose, and beading up on the stubble along his jawline. His other hand runs down my arm and he frowns. “Jesus, Tessa. You’re freezing. We need to get you dry.”
“We don’t need to do anything.” I yank my arms out of his grasp. “Get back in your truck and get the hell outta here. You’re just slowing me down.” I barely turn away when his hands find my waist, hauling me against his side and moving me in the direction of his truck. I twist my body, trying to elude him. “Luke! Stop it!”
His grip stays firm, forcing me to move. “You’re not walking on the side of the road. Nobody can see shit out here and someone could hit you. I barely saw you.”
I wrench myself from his grasp and push against his soaked chest. My hands slide along the material, and I resort to pounding my fists against him to keep my palms from clinging to his muscles.
Because they would. They like doing that.
I take in a shaky breath before admitting, “I’m so sick of it being you who sees me. Stop seeing me! Just stop!”
He drops his head down and grabs my wrists, pulling me closer. Water builds up on his bottom lip, and I struggle to avert my gaze to anywhere but his mouth. If I keep looking, I’ll run my thumb across it. My tongue. Trap the drops between his skin and mine and feel them burst against my mouth. I blink heavily before focusing on his eyes, catching the quick shift of his attention off the very thing I was just fantasizing about.
“Do you think I want to see you?” he asks, the frustrated anger resonating off his words. “If I could’ve stopped, I would’ve fucking done it a year ago. I always see you, Tessa, and I’m not leaving you on the side of the road. So get the fuck over yourself, and get in the truck.”
I bite my lip to stop it from trembling before shaking my head. “Just leave, Luke. Please. Please don’t do any more for me.”
He releases one of my wrists and runs a hand down his face. His eyes pinch closed for a moment as he thinks something over. “You wanna make this difficult? Fine.” His hands grab my waist, lifting me off the ground and carrying me around the front of his truck.
I flail as much as I can, pushing against his shoulders and trying to peel my front away from his. He mumbles how challenging I am, how he doesn’t need this shit. I open my mouth to protest but my voice cracks like ice being stepped on as he shifts me in his arms to open the door. I’m shoved inside and the door is slammed shut as the rain pelts on the windows.
My entire body trembles as I rock in my seat, seeking warmth, keeping my head in my hands as my knees knock together. I’m going into shock. This has to be what that feels like. My body is shutting down because I can’t get warm. I think I hear the door open over the chatter of my teeth and the loud whoosh of air I push into my hands, but I can’t be sure.
Not until I feel the slide of his hand along my back.
I slam the passenger door shut as the rain continues to beat down on me.
Of course this has to happen. It has to be Tessa on the side of the road, and not some chick I can ignore. I’d gone all morning without seeing her, installing her door and thinking I was in the fucking clear, and now, this. She’s out of her fucking mind if she thinks I’ll leave her here. I can’t. It’s not physically possible. My instincts take over the second I realize it’s her, commanding me to stop, to grab her, and to put her defiant ass in the truck myself. I don’t know why the fuck she’s walking out here, but I do know she isn’t walking anymore.
I brace myself for the fight I know we’re about to have as I step up into my truck, shutting the door behind me. But it’s not her verbal lashing grabbing my attention the moment I get inside. It’s her, rocking back and forth in the seat, trembling so badly I fear something worse than pneumonia. Her teeth chatter as she keeps her head down, body almost folded in half. I don’t think about what touching her does to me. I can suck that shit up and deal with the ramifications of my actions later, because the only thing that matters right now is getting her warm.
My hand slides along her back, startling her with a jolt that blends into her tremors. We’re both drenched, but she’s colder than me, frigid even. I swear to Christ my hand drops in temperature ten degrees just from the gentle pressure I’m giving her. I need something to wrap her up with, so I grab the beach towel I keep in here for days I go to Rocky Point.
I drop it next to me and grab the bottom of her shirt with both hands.
“We need to get you out of these clothes. Lift your arms.”
She pushes me off and slides closer to the door. “J…j…just t…t…take me home, Luke. I’ll g…g…get warm th…th…there.”
I don’t have time for this. She doesn’t have time for this.
I rip her shirt off, throwing the dripping material on the floor as she fights me every inch of the way. I reach for her boots to remove them but she kicks at me.
“S…s…stop it! Luke, what…”
I grab her ankles, pinning her legs against the seat in between us, and lean closer. “Tessa, you’re fucking freezing. Wrapping you up in this towel isn’t going to do shit unless you take these clothes off, so stop fucking fighting me and let me do this. I have to do this.”
I don’t know how long I’ve been walking, but given the ache in my feet I’m going to guess at least fifteen minutes. That’s usually how long these boots allow before I’m cursing myself for ever buying them. My hands tremble as I cup them in front of my mouth and attempt to breathe life into them, but even the air in my lungs seems frigid now, like the rest of me. Another car drives by me and I ignore it like the others, until the sound of it skidding to a stop prompts me to look over my shoulder. The reverse lights come on before the truck backs up in my direction.
The silver truck I’m way too familiar with.
I walk faster, suddenly not giving a shit about the rain and how slick it’s made the pavement. I could slip and knock myself unconscious, but even the threat of that seems better than this chance meeting.
The truck creeps into my peripheral vision but I ignore it, keeping my attention in front of me.
“Tessa?”
I ignore that also as the rain continues pelting down, loud enough to distort the voice I don’t want to hear. I push the hair that’s plastered to the side of my face back and tuck it behind my ear.
The truck moves with me, staying at my side. “What are you doing? Where’s your car?”
“Fuck off!” I yell.
The engine revs again as I quicken my pace.
“What the fuck? Look at you. Get in. You’re going to catch pneumonia or some shit.”
I turn my head and glare at him through the sheet of rain, straining my neck to see up into his truck. “I’d rather catch pneumonia than be anywhere near you! Go fuck yourself, you piece of shit!”
The back end of the truck whips off the road, backing into the mud and blocking my path. I round the front of it with determination just as a door slams shut.
“Are you fucking crazy?” He grabs my arm and spins me around, keeping his grip on my elbow as the rain soaks the front of him. Water runs down his face, grazing the bump in his nose, and beading up on the stubble along his jawline. His other hand runs down my arm and he frowns. “Jesus, Tessa. You’re freezing. We need to get you dry.”
“We don’t need to do anything.” I yank my arms out of his grasp. “Get back in your truck and get the hell outta here. You’re just slowing me down.” I barely turn away when his hands find my waist, hauling me against his side and moving me in the direction of his truck. I twist my body, trying to elude him. “Luke! Stop it!”
His grip stays firm, forcing me to move. “You’re not walking on the side of the road. Nobody can see shit out here and someone could hit you. I barely saw you.”
I wrench myself from his grasp and push against his soaked chest. My hands slide along the material, and I resort to pounding my fists against him to keep my palms from clinging to his muscles.
Because they would. They like doing that.
I take in a shaky breath before admitting, “I’m so sick of it being you who sees me. Stop seeing me! Just stop!”
He drops his head down and grabs my wrists, pulling me closer. Water builds up on his bottom lip, and I struggle to avert my gaze to anywhere but his mouth. If I keep looking, I’ll run my thumb across it. My tongue. Trap the drops between his skin and mine and feel them burst against my mouth. I blink heavily before focusing on his eyes, catching the quick shift of his attention off the very thing I was just fantasizing about.
“Do you think I want to see you?” he asks, the frustrated anger resonating off his words. “If I could’ve stopped, I would’ve fucking done it a year ago. I always see you, Tessa, and I’m not leaving you on the side of the road. So get the fuck over yourself, and get in the truck.”
I bite my lip to stop it from trembling before shaking my head. “Just leave, Luke. Please. Please don’t do any more for me.”
He releases one of my wrists and runs a hand down his face. His eyes pinch closed for a moment as he thinks something over. “You wanna make this difficult? Fine.” His hands grab my waist, lifting me off the ground and carrying me around the front of his truck.
I flail as much as I can, pushing against his shoulders and trying to peel my front away from his. He mumbles how challenging I am, how he doesn’t need this shit. I open my mouth to protest but my voice cracks like ice being stepped on as he shifts me in his arms to open the door. I’m shoved inside and the door is slammed shut as the rain pelts on the windows.
My entire body trembles as I rock in my seat, seeking warmth, keeping my head in my hands as my knees knock together. I’m going into shock. This has to be what that feels like. My body is shutting down because I can’t get warm. I think I hear the door open over the chatter of my teeth and the loud whoosh of air I push into my hands, but I can’t be sure.
Not until I feel the slide of his hand along my back.
I slam the passenger door shut as the rain continues to beat down on me.
Of course this has to happen. It has to be Tessa on the side of the road, and not some chick I can ignore. I’d gone all morning without seeing her, installing her door and thinking I was in the fucking clear, and now, this. She’s out of her fucking mind if she thinks I’ll leave her here. I can’t. It’s not physically possible. My instincts take over the second I realize it’s her, commanding me to stop, to grab her, and to put her defiant ass in the truck myself. I don’t know why the fuck she’s walking out here, but I do know she isn’t walking anymore.
I brace myself for the fight I know we’re about to have as I step up into my truck, shutting the door behind me. But it’s not her verbal lashing grabbing my attention the moment I get inside. It’s her, rocking back and forth in the seat, trembling so badly I fear something worse than pneumonia. Her teeth chatter as she keeps her head down, body almost folded in half. I don’t think about what touching her does to me. I can suck that shit up and deal with the ramifications of my actions later, because the only thing that matters right now is getting her warm.
My hand slides along her back, startling her with a jolt that blends into her tremors. We’re both drenched, but she’s colder than me, frigid even. I swear to Christ my hand drops in temperature ten degrees just from the gentle pressure I’m giving her. I need something to wrap her up with, so I grab the beach towel I keep in here for days I go to Rocky Point.
I drop it next to me and grab the bottom of her shirt with both hands.
“We need to get you out of these clothes. Lift your arms.”
She pushes me off and slides closer to the door. “J…j…just t…t…take me home, Luke. I’ll g…g…get warm th…th…there.”
I don’t have time for this. She doesn’t have time for this.
I rip her shirt off, throwing the dripping material on the floor as she fights me every inch of the way. I reach for her boots to remove them but she kicks at me.
“S…s…stop it! Luke, what…”
I grab her ankles, pinning her legs against the seat in between us, and lean closer. “Tessa, you’re fucking freezing. Wrapping you up in this towel isn’t going to do shit unless you take these clothes off, so stop fucking fighting me and let me do this. I have to do this.”
