All the Little Lights
Page 44
“I’m not really supposed to . . .”
“Please?” Madison said. “We’re so curious. I’m not trying to pry, but you’re kind of an enigma.”
“Good word, Maddy,” Sam said, impressed.
Madison smirked. “I’ve been studying for the SAT. So Catherine? Pretty please?”
I glanced back at Elliott. He was unhappy. “You don’t have to, Catherine. I told them not to grill you.”
I met their gazes, one by one, feeling the blood under my face ignite. “You did what?”
Elliott’s expression changed from irritation to recognition. “I just . . . I knew they were curious about you and the house and you wouldn’t want to answer a bunch of questions, so I told them before lunch not to . . . you know . . . bug you about it.”
The thought of Elliott having to give a disclaimer before something as simple as a car ride to a half-hour lunch was so humiliating that I wasn’t sure how to respond.
“Catherine,” he began.
I had to do something, to say something so I didn’t look like the freak everyone thought I was. “My mom, Mavis, checks people in and keeps things in order during the day. We have Althea, who comes to visit her grandchildren. Duke, who stays while he’s working in the area. Sometimes he brings his daughter, Poppy. My uncle and cousin sometimes visit. A girl named Willow. I think she’s just a year older than me. She passes through sometimes.”
“But is it haunted?” Sam asked. “It’s gotta be haunted. You can tell us.”
“No.” The Juniper was full of frightening things, but they were real.
Sam looked confused. “But . . . didn’t your dad die in there?”
“Sam!” Madison snapped.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Elliott said.
The carhop tapped on the glass, startling Madison. She rolled down the window, taking the money Sam and Elliott handed her. We took our food, and Madison proved adept at driving and eating at the same time, but as hungry as I was before, the hot dog smothered in chili and melted cheese was no longer appetizing.
Madison looked over at me with apologetic eyes. “We’re gonna have less than five minutes once we get back,” Madison said. “You should eat.”
“Here,” Elliott said, opening his Sonic sack. “Put it in here, and we’ll eat in the commons.”
I dropped my Coney inside, and Elliott rolled the top of the bag down. I sipped on my drink until we got to school, pulling on the handle the second Madison put her car in park.
“Catherine,” Elliott called to me, jogging to my side with his Sonic sack in one hand. He had already inhaled his meal, but I was sure he’d follow me around with my food until I ate it. “Hey,” he said, tugging on my sweater until I stopped. “I’m sorry.”
“That was so humiliating,” I seethed. “First, you’re talking people into being my friend, then you’re vetting them?”
“I just want you to be happy,” he said, sad.
“I’ve already told you. I don’t want friends.”
He sighed. “Yes, you do. And you should be able to go out and do normal high school stuff. You should go to parties and road trips to ball games and—”
“Maybe it’s just personal preference. Not everyone has to like partying and going to ball games.”
“You don’t like going to my games?” he asked, surprised.
My shoulders sagged. The expression on his face made me feel ashamed. “Of course I do. I just think . . . maybe we’re different.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa . . . let me stop you right there. I don’t like where this is going.” Elliott’s expression tightened, a deep line forming between his brows. His hands were shaking, his mouth twitching.
“That’s not what I meant. I don’t mean that,” I said, not even wanting to say the word breakup. Elliott was my best friend. The only thing I remembered about my life before he came back was feeling miserable.
His shoulders relaxed, and he exhaled. “Okay.” He nodded. “Good.” He took my hand and led me inside, finding a spot in the commons area.
We sat, and he unrolled the sack, handing me my Chili Cheese Coney. He checked his watch. “First bell rings in six minutes.”
I nodded, peeling my food out of its wrapper and taking a bite. My appetite hadn’t returned, but I knew Elliott would make a big deal if I didn’t eat. As soon as the savory meat, sauce, and melted cheese hit my tongue, I was glad I did. It was the best thing I’d ever tasted. Dad wasn’t a fan of eating out, and after he’d died, we couldn’t afford to. I would splurge on the occasional ice cream cone in the summers, mainly to get out of the house, but Sonic was too far away from the Juniper, and now I would have to figure out how to make this at home so I could experience it again.
“Oh my God,” I said, taking another large bite.
Elliott grinned. “You’ve never had a chili cheese dog?”
I swallowed. “No, but it’s now my favorite food ever. Who knew a hot dog could be transformed into the equivalent of heaven inside my mouth with a scoop of chili and some melted cheese?” I took another bite, humming as I chewed.
I took the last bite and sat back, feeling full and euphoric.
“What is that? I’ve never seen that look on your face,” Elliott said, looking just as happy as I felt.
“That is grease and sodium filling my belly. And I don’t have to do the dishes after.”
Elliott’s smile fell away, and he leaned forward, cautious. “Why don’t you let me help you on the weekends? You work so hard, Catherine. I’m not gonna judge you. No matter what it is you don’t want me to see, I’m not gonna think of you any different.”
“You . . .” I paused. What I wanted to say would take us down a path I couldn’t go. “You can’t.”
Elliott’s jaw ticked. I hadn’t seen him angry since we were fifteen; in fact, he was one of the most even-tempered and patient people I had ever met, but my resistance to let him inside was wearing on him. “What were you really going to say?”
The bell rang, and I smiled, standing up. “I’d better go. Mr. Simons will wring my neck if I’m late again.”
Elliott nodded, unhappy.
I rushed to my locker and then down C Hall to my physiology class. The second bell rang just as I sat down, and Mr. Simons peeked up at me before returning to his planner.
“Hey,” Madison said, sliding into the desk next to me. Minka usually sat there, so I was surprised to hear a different, nicer voice coming from that direction. “I’m really sorry about today. We were just excited that you were coming to lunch, and we both got carried away.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Excited?”
She shrugged. “You’re a person, I get it. We shouldn’t treat you like a novelty. But everyone is so curious about you, and you’re so private, and so everyone speculates. There are some wild stories out there about you.”
“About me?”
“Yes,” she said with a giggle. “I promise we’ll be cool next time. Elliott was hoping you’d ride to the game with me. His mom couldn’t get off work, and his aunt and uncle can’t go, so . . .”
“Oh,” I said. I hadn’t realized no one would be there to watch Elliott play, and he’d be playing against his old Yukon teammates. He was going to be under a lot of pressure, and someone needed to be there. “Oh, hell,” I said, touching my forehead. “This Friday is November sixteenth.”
“Please?” Madison said. “We’re so curious. I’m not trying to pry, but you’re kind of an enigma.”
“Good word, Maddy,” Sam said, impressed.
Madison smirked. “I’ve been studying for the SAT. So Catherine? Pretty please?”
I glanced back at Elliott. He was unhappy. “You don’t have to, Catherine. I told them not to grill you.”
I met their gazes, one by one, feeling the blood under my face ignite. “You did what?”
Elliott’s expression changed from irritation to recognition. “I just . . . I knew they were curious about you and the house and you wouldn’t want to answer a bunch of questions, so I told them before lunch not to . . . you know . . . bug you about it.”
The thought of Elliott having to give a disclaimer before something as simple as a car ride to a half-hour lunch was so humiliating that I wasn’t sure how to respond.
“Catherine,” he began.
I had to do something, to say something so I didn’t look like the freak everyone thought I was. “My mom, Mavis, checks people in and keeps things in order during the day. We have Althea, who comes to visit her grandchildren. Duke, who stays while he’s working in the area. Sometimes he brings his daughter, Poppy. My uncle and cousin sometimes visit. A girl named Willow. I think she’s just a year older than me. She passes through sometimes.”
“But is it haunted?” Sam asked. “It’s gotta be haunted. You can tell us.”
“No.” The Juniper was full of frightening things, but they were real.
Sam looked confused. “But . . . didn’t your dad die in there?”
“Sam!” Madison snapped.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Elliott said.
The carhop tapped on the glass, startling Madison. She rolled down the window, taking the money Sam and Elliott handed her. We took our food, and Madison proved adept at driving and eating at the same time, but as hungry as I was before, the hot dog smothered in chili and melted cheese was no longer appetizing.
Madison looked over at me with apologetic eyes. “We’re gonna have less than five minutes once we get back,” Madison said. “You should eat.”
“Here,” Elliott said, opening his Sonic sack. “Put it in here, and we’ll eat in the commons.”
I dropped my Coney inside, and Elliott rolled the top of the bag down. I sipped on my drink until we got to school, pulling on the handle the second Madison put her car in park.
“Catherine,” Elliott called to me, jogging to my side with his Sonic sack in one hand. He had already inhaled his meal, but I was sure he’d follow me around with my food until I ate it. “Hey,” he said, tugging on my sweater until I stopped. “I’m sorry.”
“That was so humiliating,” I seethed. “First, you’re talking people into being my friend, then you’re vetting them?”
“I just want you to be happy,” he said, sad.
“I’ve already told you. I don’t want friends.”
He sighed. “Yes, you do. And you should be able to go out and do normal high school stuff. You should go to parties and road trips to ball games and—”
“Maybe it’s just personal preference. Not everyone has to like partying and going to ball games.”
“You don’t like going to my games?” he asked, surprised.
My shoulders sagged. The expression on his face made me feel ashamed. “Of course I do. I just think . . . maybe we’re different.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa . . . let me stop you right there. I don’t like where this is going.” Elliott’s expression tightened, a deep line forming between his brows. His hands were shaking, his mouth twitching.
“That’s not what I meant. I don’t mean that,” I said, not even wanting to say the word breakup. Elliott was my best friend. The only thing I remembered about my life before he came back was feeling miserable.
His shoulders relaxed, and he exhaled. “Okay.” He nodded. “Good.” He took my hand and led me inside, finding a spot in the commons area.
We sat, and he unrolled the sack, handing me my Chili Cheese Coney. He checked his watch. “First bell rings in six minutes.”
I nodded, peeling my food out of its wrapper and taking a bite. My appetite hadn’t returned, but I knew Elliott would make a big deal if I didn’t eat. As soon as the savory meat, sauce, and melted cheese hit my tongue, I was glad I did. It was the best thing I’d ever tasted. Dad wasn’t a fan of eating out, and after he’d died, we couldn’t afford to. I would splurge on the occasional ice cream cone in the summers, mainly to get out of the house, but Sonic was too far away from the Juniper, and now I would have to figure out how to make this at home so I could experience it again.
“Oh my God,” I said, taking another large bite.
Elliott grinned. “You’ve never had a chili cheese dog?”
I swallowed. “No, but it’s now my favorite food ever. Who knew a hot dog could be transformed into the equivalent of heaven inside my mouth with a scoop of chili and some melted cheese?” I took another bite, humming as I chewed.
I took the last bite and sat back, feeling full and euphoric.
“What is that? I’ve never seen that look on your face,” Elliott said, looking just as happy as I felt.
“That is grease and sodium filling my belly. And I don’t have to do the dishes after.”
Elliott’s smile fell away, and he leaned forward, cautious. “Why don’t you let me help you on the weekends? You work so hard, Catherine. I’m not gonna judge you. No matter what it is you don’t want me to see, I’m not gonna think of you any different.”
“You . . .” I paused. What I wanted to say would take us down a path I couldn’t go. “You can’t.”
Elliott’s jaw ticked. I hadn’t seen him angry since we were fifteen; in fact, he was one of the most even-tempered and patient people I had ever met, but my resistance to let him inside was wearing on him. “What were you really going to say?”
The bell rang, and I smiled, standing up. “I’d better go. Mr. Simons will wring my neck if I’m late again.”
Elliott nodded, unhappy.
I rushed to my locker and then down C Hall to my physiology class. The second bell rang just as I sat down, and Mr. Simons peeked up at me before returning to his planner.
“Hey,” Madison said, sliding into the desk next to me. Minka usually sat there, so I was surprised to hear a different, nicer voice coming from that direction. “I’m really sorry about today. We were just excited that you were coming to lunch, and we both got carried away.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Excited?”
She shrugged. “You’re a person, I get it. We shouldn’t treat you like a novelty. But everyone is so curious about you, and you’re so private, and so everyone speculates. There are some wild stories out there about you.”
“About me?”
“Yes,” she said with a giggle. “I promise we’ll be cool next time. Elliott was hoping you’d ride to the game with me. His mom couldn’t get off work, and his aunt and uncle can’t go, so . . .”
“Oh,” I said. I hadn’t realized no one would be there to watch Elliott play, and he’d be playing against his old Yukon teammates. He was going to be under a lot of pressure, and someone needed to be there. “Oh, hell,” I said, touching my forehead. “This Friday is November sixteenth.”
