All the Little Lights
Page 56
“How did her mom feel about that? I thought she didn’t allow anyone in but family and guests.”
I shrugged, looking down. “I climbed up the lattice to her window. She let me in long enough to kick me out.”
“Uh-oh. Did you get into it?”
I felt my eyebrows pull in. “Not really. It was kind of like what you said. She doesn’t want to be responsible for keeping me from this. She’s never been to a party before. She clearly thinks it’s something different.”
A group was chanting across the fire. Another keg stand.
“Elliott,” Tatum said, raking her wet hair back. “I didn’t think you’d come.”
“I’m not staying long,” I said, looking past her to the activity at the keg.
“Did you want a drink? I brought—”
“No, thank you. I need to talk to Scotty about something,” I said, leaving Sam alone with Tatum.
“Hey,” I said, tapping Scotty’s shoulder.
“It’s the birthday boy!” Scotty said. The liter of Fireball was already half gone. He was weaving but smiling. “Wanna shot? Let’s do shots!” He took a swig.
“Nah, I’m good,” I said. He couldn’t feel the cold, so he was farther from the fire. I began to shiver, so I took a few steps back, bumping into Cruz Miller. He was holding hands with Minka.
“Watch where the hell you’re going, Youngblood,” he spat. He was drunk but not as drunk as Scotty, who stepped between us like we were about to fight.
“Hey, hey, hey . . . it’s Elliott’s birthday,” Scotty slurred. “Don’t be a dick to him on his birthday.”
“Where’s Catherine?” Minka asked, smug. “Couldn’t she come? Or did she have to clean toilets or something?”
“Shut up, Minka,” I said dismissively.
“What did you just say?” Cruz asked. He was more than a foot shorter than me, but he was the star of the wrestling team, his ears and nose all jacked, his neck as thick as his head.
“Elliott,” Sam said, standing next to me. “Is there a problem?”
More of the wrestlers stood next to Cruz, prompting Scotty to sober up enough to signal the team to gather behind me.
“Say it again, paint sniffer,” Cruz said.
All the muscles in my body stiffened. It had been a long time since someone had attacked my heritage, but that’s what it always came down to, the easiest insult for mouth breathers like Cruz.
I closed my eyes, trying to calm down, hearing Aunt Leigh’s voice in my head telling me to control my anger. “I’m not fighting you, Cruz. You’re drunk.”
Cruz laughed. “Oh, you can insult my girlfriend, but you’re not going to fight me? You might be big, but you’re slow.”
Sam smiled. “You haven’t been to any of our games this year, have you, Cruz?”
“And what?” Cruz asked. “He’s hot shit now? He can’t even get a normal girl; Catherine’s a freak.”
The wrestlers laughed.
“Shut up. Right now,” I said through my teeth.
“Oh, you can talk shit to my girl, but Catherine is off-limits, huh?” Cruz said.
“Catherine hasn’t done anything to you. She hasn’t done anything to any of you,” I said, feeling myself close to snapping.
Sam cupped my shoulder, pulling me back a few inches. I hadn’t realized I was leaning forward.
Minka hugged Cruz’s arm. “You don’t know what she’s done. But you will. Catherine is just using you.”
I made a face. “For what?”
“For a while, like she does everyone else.”
“Everyone else,” I said. “Her dad died, Minka. They started a new company. And you feel snubbed? It’s a good thing she doesn’t have you as a friend anymore. Talk about selfish . . .”
“Catherine’s a great friend to Maddy,” Sam said. “Maybe she just got tired of your annoying chipmunk voice. I know I would.”
Minka’s mouth fell open, and Cruz swung at Sam. That’s when it happened. That’s when I snapped. I grabbed Cruz, threw him to the ground, and whaled on him. Minka was screaming in the background, the football players and wrestlers yelling above me, at times someone would pull on my coat, but everything else was a blur. I couldn’t feel the pain in my knuckles when my bones crashed against the bones in Cruz’s face, but I could hear it.
I wasn’t sure how much time had gone by when my teammates finally pulled me off Cruz. He was lying on the ground, his face a bloody mess. Minka was crying, and the wrestlers were looking at me like I was a monster.
The football players patted me on the back like I’d just won us another game.
“We should go,” Sam said, dazed.
Scotty was trying to congratulate me, but I yanked away from him. “Get off me!” I screamed in his face.
“Sorry, man . . . I just . . .”
I didn’t hear the rest of his sentence or if he’d even finished it. Sam followed me to the Chrysler, and we both slammed our doors at the same time. I gripped the steering wheel, noticing the blood oozing from my knuckles.
“Freakin’ asshole! Jesus! You okay, Elliott?” Sam asked.
I was shaking, still trying to calm down. “Just . . . give me a second.”
Sam nodded, staring forward. “I can drive if you want.”
I shook my head and twisted the ignition. “I’m going to drop you off. I have somewhere to be. I have to see Catherine.”
Sam frowned. “You sure you want her to see your hands like that? Might freak her out.”
I sighed. “She’s going to hear about it at school on Monday anyway. She might as well hear it from me.” I slammed the car into reverse and stomped on the gas, then peeled out of the dirt plot we’d all parked on. I was glad we’d gotten there last. Otherwise, I would have been blocked in.
Sam didn’t talk much on the way to his house, and I was glad. The voices in my head were so loud, any other noise would have been too much. I worried about what Catherine would say, about what Aunt Leigh would say. In seconds, all the hard work I’d done to control my anger over the years went poof.
Sam patted the top of the Chrysler when he got out. “Thanks for saving my tail back there. Call me tomorrow.”
I nodded and then turned my car toward Juniper Street.
Catherine’s light was still on when I pulled up, making adrenaline shoot through my veins all over again. I wasn’t sure if she’d understand or be angry or scared. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the seat. She didn’t freak out when she saw me punching the oak tree, but that was a long time ago. She’s been through a lot since then. Still, I couldn’t put it off. I didn’t want her to hear from anyone but me.
I walked across the street and jogged to the side of the house next to the Fentons’ dirt plot, picking up speed as I got closer to the lattice. I climbed up, feeling the grit from the shingles scrape my palms.
Catherine was curled up in a ball, holding something gray to her chest. She’d slept with the light on. Guilt washed over me, and I felt anger boiling in my blood again. I took a few deep breaths, willing myself to calm down before I tapped on the window with my finger.
Catherine stirred and then sat up, startling at the sight of me crouching next to her window. I waved with a forced smile, feeling guilty again that I’d scared her.
I shrugged, looking down. “I climbed up the lattice to her window. She let me in long enough to kick me out.”
“Uh-oh. Did you get into it?”
I felt my eyebrows pull in. “Not really. It was kind of like what you said. She doesn’t want to be responsible for keeping me from this. She’s never been to a party before. She clearly thinks it’s something different.”
A group was chanting across the fire. Another keg stand.
“Elliott,” Tatum said, raking her wet hair back. “I didn’t think you’d come.”
“I’m not staying long,” I said, looking past her to the activity at the keg.
“Did you want a drink? I brought—”
“No, thank you. I need to talk to Scotty about something,” I said, leaving Sam alone with Tatum.
“Hey,” I said, tapping Scotty’s shoulder.
“It’s the birthday boy!” Scotty said. The liter of Fireball was already half gone. He was weaving but smiling. “Wanna shot? Let’s do shots!” He took a swig.
“Nah, I’m good,” I said. He couldn’t feel the cold, so he was farther from the fire. I began to shiver, so I took a few steps back, bumping into Cruz Miller. He was holding hands with Minka.
“Watch where the hell you’re going, Youngblood,” he spat. He was drunk but not as drunk as Scotty, who stepped between us like we were about to fight.
“Hey, hey, hey . . . it’s Elliott’s birthday,” Scotty slurred. “Don’t be a dick to him on his birthday.”
“Where’s Catherine?” Minka asked, smug. “Couldn’t she come? Or did she have to clean toilets or something?”
“Shut up, Minka,” I said dismissively.
“What did you just say?” Cruz asked. He was more than a foot shorter than me, but he was the star of the wrestling team, his ears and nose all jacked, his neck as thick as his head.
“Elliott,” Sam said, standing next to me. “Is there a problem?”
More of the wrestlers stood next to Cruz, prompting Scotty to sober up enough to signal the team to gather behind me.
“Say it again, paint sniffer,” Cruz said.
All the muscles in my body stiffened. It had been a long time since someone had attacked my heritage, but that’s what it always came down to, the easiest insult for mouth breathers like Cruz.
I closed my eyes, trying to calm down, hearing Aunt Leigh’s voice in my head telling me to control my anger. “I’m not fighting you, Cruz. You’re drunk.”
Cruz laughed. “Oh, you can insult my girlfriend, but you’re not going to fight me? You might be big, but you’re slow.”
Sam smiled. “You haven’t been to any of our games this year, have you, Cruz?”
“And what?” Cruz asked. “He’s hot shit now? He can’t even get a normal girl; Catherine’s a freak.”
The wrestlers laughed.
“Shut up. Right now,” I said through my teeth.
“Oh, you can talk shit to my girl, but Catherine is off-limits, huh?” Cruz said.
“Catherine hasn’t done anything to you. She hasn’t done anything to any of you,” I said, feeling myself close to snapping.
Sam cupped my shoulder, pulling me back a few inches. I hadn’t realized I was leaning forward.
Minka hugged Cruz’s arm. “You don’t know what she’s done. But you will. Catherine is just using you.”
I made a face. “For what?”
“For a while, like she does everyone else.”
“Everyone else,” I said. “Her dad died, Minka. They started a new company. And you feel snubbed? It’s a good thing she doesn’t have you as a friend anymore. Talk about selfish . . .”
“Catherine’s a great friend to Maddy,” Sam said. “Maybe she just got tired of your annoying chipmunk voice. I know I would.”
Minka’s mouth fell open, and Cruz swung at Sam. That’s when it happened. That’s when I snapped. I grabbed Cruz, threw him to the ground, and whaled on him. Minka was screaming in the background, the football players and wrestlers yelling above me, at times someone would pull on my coat, but everything else was a blur. I couldn’t feel the pain in my knuckles when my bones crashed against the bones in Cruz’s face, but I could hear it.
I wasn’t sure how much time had gone by when my teammates finally pulled me off Cruz. He was lying on the ground, his face a bloody mess. Minka was crying, and the wrestlers were looking at me like I was a monster.
The football players patted me on the back like I’d just won us another game.
“We should go,” Sam said, dazed.
Scotty was trying to congratulate me, but I yanked away from him. “Get off me!” I screamed in his face.
“Sorry, man . . . I just . . .”
I didn’t hear the rest of his sentence or if he’d even finished it. Sam followed me to the Chrysler, and we both slammed our doors at the same time. I gripped the steering wheel, noticing the blood oozing from my knuckles.
“Freakin’ asshole! Jesus! You okay, Elliott?” Sam asked.
I was shaking, still trying to calm down. “Just . . . give me a second.”
Sam nodded, staring forward. “I can drive if you want.”
I shook my head and twisted the ignition. “I’m going to drop you off. I have somewhere to be. I have to see Catherine.”
Sam frowned. “You sure you want her to see your hands like that? Might freak her out.”
I sighed. “She’s going to hear about it at school on Monday anyway. She might as well hear it from me.” I slammed the car into reverse and stomped on the gas, then peeled out of the dirt plot we’d all parked on. I was glad we’d gotten there last. Otherwise, I would have been blocked in.
Sam didn’t talk much on the way to his house, and I was glad. The voices in my head were so loud, any other noise would have been too much. I worried about what Catherine would say, about what Aunt Leigh would say. In seconds, all the hard work I’d done to control my anger over the years went poof.
Sam patted the top of the Chrysler when he got out. “Thanks for saving my tail back there. Call me tomorrow.”
I nodded and then turned my car toward Juniper Street.
Catherine’s light was still on when I pulled up, making adrenaline shoot through my veins all over again. I wasn’t sure if she’d understand or be angry or scared. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the seat. She didn’t freak out when she saw me punching the oak tree, but that was a long time ago. She’s been through a lot since then. Still, I couldn’t put it off. I didn’t want her to hear from anyone but me.
I walked across the street and jogged to the side of the house next to the Fentons’ dirt plot, picking up speed as I got closer to the lattice. I climbed up, feeling the grit from the shingles scrape my palms.
Catherine was curled up in a ball, holding something gray to her chest. She’d slept with the light on. Guilt washed over me, and I felt anger boiling in my blood again. I took a few deep breaths, willing myself to calm down before I tapped on the window with my finger.
Catherine stirred and then sat up, startling at the sight of me crouching next to her window. I waved with a forced smile, feeling guilty again that I’d scared her.
