Almost Perfect
Page 15
“I’m sorry,” Liz whispered, the gut-clenching returning.
“Me, too. She’s a good friend.” Pia drew in a breath. “I don’t want to talk about it. Knowing I’m losing her is impossible and makes me cry. As drunk as I am, I probably won’t stop for hours and no one wants that. Least of all Crystal.”
Liz nodded and had to swallow before she could speak. “Are you up to carrying in a plate of cookies?”
Pia eyed the plate doubtfully. “What happens if I drop them?”
“They fall?”
She smiled. “I can make an effort.” But instead of reaching for the plate, she leaned against a counter. “Why didn’t you come back? When you found out you were pregnant?”
Not a question Liz wanted to answer. “It wasn’t an option.”
“Of course it was. Even if your mom wouldn’t have taken you in, there was still Ethan and his family. You shouldn’t have kept his kid from him. It wasn’t very nice.”
It was one thing to be yelled at by an older woman she didn’t know, but it was quite another to have Pia O’Brian passing judgments on her.
“And that’s the whole story?” Liz asked, trying to stay calm and keep her voice low.
Pia rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. It’s not as if you tried to tell him.”
“You’re wrong,” Liz told her, planting her hands on her hips. “I did come back. Pretty much as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I’d been gone all of three weeks. You’d think after how in love he claimed to be he would have waited to replace me, but no. He was in his little apartment over the garage. Naked. In bed with someone.” She narrowed her gaze. “He was in bed with you, Pia.”
Pia slipped and had to grab onto the counter to stay upright. Her mouth dropped open. “No,” she breathed.
“Am I wrong?”
Pia winced. “I did get him into bed, but it’s not what you think.”
“You weren’t trying to have sex with him?”
“Okay, yes. It was that, but I…” Pia shook her head, then swore. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
Liz waited. “Didn’t mean what? To take him?”
“You were gone. Plus, I wasn’t completely sure the two of you were actually dating. Josh said something that one time and Ethan denied everything.”
Not an afternoon Liz cared to remember. It had been difficult enough working as a waitress in the one place the popular kids liked to hang out, but it had been sheer torture being there when Ethan came home from college and they started seeing each other. They’d both agreed it was better if no one knew about them. He had his family’s reputation to think about. After all, he was a Hendrix.
Liz had been young enough and foolish enough to think that was a good reason to slink around behind everyone’s back. Today she wouldn’t bother. Either a man wanted to be with her or he didn’t. But back then she’d been so grateful to have someone care about her. Especially Ethan.
Ethan who was accepted everywhere he went. Ethan who had a family that was always sober and kind and respectable. Ethan’s mother didn’t show up at the grocery store drunk and talk about being with other women’s husbands.
Liz had never actually met Ethan’s father, but she heard him speak once, at a fundraiser to refurbish the city park. He’d been stern, but eloquent as he talked about duty and responsibility and how as citizens of the town, everyone had to participate and give of themselves. She’d been drawn to the man and intimidated. After seeing him, she knew why Ethan didn’t want anyone to know they were involved. Ralph Hendrix wouldn’t have approved.
Then Josh had mentioned seeing the two of them together and another friend had called her a whore. Ethan had not only denied they were dating, he’d said he wasn’t so desperate as to need to be with someone like her.
Pouring a milk shake over his head and walking out hadn’t healed the wound in her heart.
She didn’t want to remember any of this, Liz thought grimly. She didn’t want to be here, dealing with her past. The people, the memories, her complete inability to feel as if she’d made progress emotionally were just a few of the reasons she’d never wanted to come back.
“Your relationship with Ethan doesn’t matter,” she stated, turning away from Pia. “My point is, you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about when it comes to my son, and you need to remember that.”
“I’m sorry.”
Liz nodded.
“I mean that. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, you shouldn’t,” Liz declared facing her again, trying not to see the regret in Pia’s eyes.
Pia opened her mouth, then closed it. “I really am sorry,” she whispered, then walked out of the kitchen, leaving Liz alone.
If the buzzing in Liz’s head wasn’t enough to tell her that she wasn’t going to have a good time come morning, the tightness in her chest hinted that a hangover might very well be the least of her problems.
Damn this town, she thought as she grabbed the cookies and braced herself to return to the party.
LIZ WOKE UP WITH A MILDER headache than she deserved and a determination to put together a plan to get out of Fool’s Gold as quickly as possible. The house was the biggest problem. What to do with it. Keeping it for the girls was a possibility. As a rental, it could provide income and the value would increase over time. Although that would require fixing up the place. Selling it presented the same fix-up dilemma. Maybe the best place to start was to speak with a Realtor. Get some actual numbers and see what made the most sense.
As much as she wanted to pack her car and run, she knew she couldn’t. There were Roy’s girls to think of. Melissa and Abby wouldn’t want to move. They’d already lost their dad and stepmom. Their home was all they had.
But she couldn’t stay here, she thought, feeling desperate. It was a twisted kind of hell for her. Which meant what? Endure the town as long as she could and give the girls more time to adjust to her and moving?
Not a decision she could make without a second cup of coffee.
She made her way to the kitchen. Melissa was on the phone with one of her friends and Abby had gone next door to play. Tyler was with his father. She got out the phone book and called a couple real estate offices from her cell.
An hour later, she’d confirmed what she’d already guessed. No one would commit without seeing the house in person, but the consensus was for rental property and fixing up was required. A sale could be “as is” but that seriously cut down on the number of interested buyers as well as the price.
Liz had a feeling the house was all the girls could expect to get from their father. Her gut said that fixing it up and then renting it made the most sense. Let the property value increase while Melissa and Abby were growing. If they wanted to sell it later, they could. She could even pay for the renovations herself.
She got out a pad of paper and started making a list. She would have to get an attorney to draw up a title transfer. Roy had said he wanted to put the house in the girls’ names. Fortunately, Bettina wasn’t on the title, so she wasn’t going to be a complication.
Liz wandered back into the kitchen for more coffee, then headed for her computer. Maybe she could get in a couple of pages before Abby and Tyler returned.
Her timing was off. She’d barely clicked on her word processing program when her son flew into the house. He bounced onto the sofa next to her, then threw his arms around her.
“How are you?” she asked, hugging him back and kissing his forehead.
“Good. Dad had doughnuts and he only let me eat two. And I saw the new designs for a windmill. Dad says it’s going to be more energy efficient. And he really liked the card I gave him.”
Tyler continued to relive his morning in real time. Nearly every other sentence began with “Dad says.” Liz told herself this was all good news, even as she felt a little less important in her son’s life.
A fleeting emotion, she told herself. One that would pass.
“Then Dad said it was your fault that I don’t know him because you kept me from him. Dad says you were wrong not to let us be together.”
Liz nearly fell out of her chair. “Excuse me?” she asked.
Tyler’s eyes got big and he looked worried. “He wasn’t mad when he said it, Mom. Don’t be mad.”
Don’t be mad? Don’t be mad when she was doing everything she could to bring father and son together and Ethan was going behind her back, trying to make her look guilty? Had he bothered to mention how badly he’d treated her twelve years ago? Or the fact that she’d come back to tell him about his kid and his wife had been the one to keep them apart? Of course not.
“It’s fine, I was just surprised,” she said, forcing a smile. She glanced at her watch. “I thought we’d go to the pool later. And Montana wants me to bring you by the library to look at some new books they got in.”
His face brightened. “Can we go now?”
“Sure. Why don’t you tell Melissa, so she knows. And I want to make a quick call.”
“Okay.”
He raced upstairs. When she heard his feet thundering overhead, she picked up her cell and Ethan’s business card. She was put through to him immediately.
“We have to talk,” she said by way of greeting. “Now.”
He hesitated. “I have an appointment.”
“I don’t give a damn.”
“Okay. Starbucks in fifteen minutes?”
“Fine.” She hung up.
SHE LEFT TYLER WITH MONTANA at the library and promised to be back in half an hour. What she had to say wouldn’t take more than a few minutes.
Ethan was already sitting outside when she got there. An umbrella shaded him from the bright sun.
“What’s up?” he asked, looking tall and handsome and annoyingly confused. “You sounded upset.”
She ignored the way her body reacted to the sight of him, not wanting to remember what being with him had been like. Better that she remembered all the ways she’d killed him in her books. And the even more painful way she would kill him in the next one. It was what he deserved, the bastard.
“What were you thinking?” she began. “We’re supposed to be working together. At least that’s what you said. I’ll accept that you’re mad at me. Fine. But don’t you dare talk about me with my son. You had no right to tell him it was my fault that you and Tyler don’t know each other and that I was wrong to keep him from you. Do you think you’re helping your cause? Not only does it make me regret ever coming back, it makes me know I can’t trust you at all.”
His body tensed. “He told you.”
“Of course he told me. I’m his mother. He tells me everything.” She was fighting blinding fury. “Did it make you feel all manly to crap all over me in front of my kid?”
“No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. We were talking about what he usually does in the summer and on his birthday and all I could think was how much I’d missed. I lost it.”
“Not much of an excuse,” she said, doing her best to keep her voice low. “Do you think you can come between Tyler and me?”
“No. That’s not what I was trying to do.” He stared into her eyes. “I swear, Liz, I’m sorry. I reacted. It was stupid.”
“You say that to me, but did you bother saying it to Tyler?” She waited. He shook his head. “Figures. You’re playing us, Ethan. And that’s a huge mistake. No one will win that game.”
“I’m not trying to come between you.”
She held his gaze. “You expect me to believe that?”
“Probably not.” He sucked in a breath. “I was mad.”
“You’re mad all the time.”
“I have a good reason.”
She leaned toward him. “Yes, you do. And you also know I’m not as much the devil as you first thought.”
“I’m sorry, Liz. I was an idiot,” he apologized, sounding as if he meant it.
It was easier to believe that rather than think he was deliberately trying to undermine her, but easier didn’t necessarily mean right.
“You want me punished,” she said, her voice quieter. “You need to get over that.”
He drew in a breath. “I know.”
ETHAN DID KNOW, BUT SOMETIMES it was damn hard not to react. He’d lost so much and even though it wasn’t all Liz’s fault, it was tough not to blame her.
She stared at him, her green eyes flashing with anger, her mouth set with determination. She would take him on, if necessary. He wanted to say she couldn’t win, but he wasn’t sure that was true. She had eleven years’ worth of a relationship with Tyler. He’d known his kid all of two weeks.
Bitterness threatened, but he pushed it away. She was right—he had to think before he spoke.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated.
She sighed. “I guess I have to at least pretend to believe you.”
“You could try actually believing me.”
“Don’t push it.”
“I was wrong.”
“Yes, you were.” She shook her head. “Okay. I’ll do my best to let it go. Just don’t do that again. We have to work together. If we don’t, the person who gets hurt the most is Tyler. You’re everything he’s ever wanted. You don’t have to destroy me in order to make him love you.”
Ethan stiffened. “That’s not what I was doing.”
“Me, too. She’s a good friend.” Pia drew in a breath. “I don’t want to talk about it. Knowing I’m losing her is impossible and makes me cry. As drunk as I am, I probably won’t stop for hours and no one wants that. Least of all Crystal.”
Liz nodded and had to swallow before she could speak. “Are you up to carrying in a plate of cookies?”
Pia eyed the plate doubtfully. “What happens if I drop them?”
“They fall?”
She smiled. “I can make an effort.” But instead of reaching for the plate, she leaned against a counter. “Why didn’t you come back? When you found out you were pregnant?”
Not a question Liz wanted to answer. “It wasn’t an option.”
“Of course it was. Even if your mom wouldn’t have taken you in, there was still Ethan and his family. You shouldn’t have kept his kid from him. It wasn’t very nice.”
It was one thing to be yelled at by an older woman she didn’t know, but it was quite another to have Pia O’Brian passing judgments on her.
“And that’s the whole story?” Liz asked, trying to stay calm and keep her voice low.
Pia rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. It’s not as if you tried to tell him.”
“You’re wrong,” Liz told her, planting her hands on her hips. “I did come back. Pretty much as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I’d been gone all of three weeks. You’d think after how in love he claimed to be he would have waited to replace me, but no. He was in his little apartment over the garage. Naked. In bed with someone.” She narrowed her gaze. “He was in bed with you, Pia.”
Pia slipped and had to grab onto the counter to stay upright. Her mouth dropped open. “No,” she breathed.
“Am I wrong?”
Pia winced. “I did get him into bed, but it’s not what you think.”
“You weren’t trying to have sex with him?”
“Okay, yes. It was that, but I…” Pia shook her head, then swore. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
Liz waited. “Didn’t mean what? To take him?”
“You were gone. Plus, I wasn’t completely sure the two of you were actually dating. Josh said something that one time and Ethan denied everything.”
Not an afternoon Liz cared to remember. It had been difficult enough working as a waitress in the one place the popular kids liked to hang out, but it had been sheer torture being there when Ethan came home from college and they started seeing each other. They’d both agreed it was better if no one knew about them. He had his family’s reputation to think about. After all, he was a Hendrix.
Liz had been young enough and foolish enough to think that was a good reason to slink around behind everyone’s back. Today she wouldn’t bother. Either a man wanted to be with her or he didn’t. But back then she’d been so grateful to have someone care about her. Especially Ethan.
Ethan who was accepted everywhere he went. Ethan who had a family that was always sober and kind and respectable. Ethan’s mother didn’t show up at the grocery store drunk and talk about being with other women’s husbands.
Liz had never actually met Ethan’s father, but she heard him speak once, at a fundraiser to refurbish the city park. He’d been stern, but eloquent as he talked about duty and responsibility and how as citizens of the town, everyone had to participate and give of themselves. She’d been drawn to the man and intimidated. After seeing him, she knew why Ethan didn’t want anyone to know they were involved. Ralph Hendrix wouldn’t have approved.
Then Josh had mentioned seeing the two of them together and another friend had called her a whore. Ethan had not only denied they were dating, he’d said he wasn’t so desperate as to need to be with someone like her.
Pouring a milk shake over his head and walking out hadn’t healed the wound in her heart.
She didn’t want to remember any of this, Liz thought grimly. She didn’t want to be here, dealing with her past. The people, the memories, her complete inability to feel as if she’d made progress emotionally were just a few of the reasons she’d never wanted to come back.
“Your relationship with Ethan doesn’t matter,” she stated, turning away from Pia. “My point is, you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about when it comes to my son, and you need to remember that.”
“I’m sorry.”
Liz nodded.
“I mean that. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, you shouldn’t,” Liz declared facing her again, trying not to see the regret in Pia’s eyes.
Pia opened her mouth, then closed it. “I really am sorry,” she whispered, then walked out of the kitchen, leaving Liz alone.
If the buzzing in Liz’s head wasn’t enough to tell her that she wasn’t going to have a good time come morning, the tightness in her chest hinted that a hangover might very well be the least of her problems.
Damn this town, she thought as she grabbed the cookies and braced herself to return to the party.
LIZ WOKE UP WITH A MILDER headache than she deserved and a determination to put together a plan to get out of Fool’s Gold as quickly as possible. The house was the biggest problem. What to do with it. Keeping it for the girls was a possibility. As a rental, it could provide income and the value would increase over time. Although that would require fixing up the place. Selling it presented the same fix-up dilemma. Maybe the best place to start was to speak with a Realtor. Get some actual numbers and see what made the most sense.
As much as she wanted to pack her car and run, she knew she couldn’t. There were Roy’s girls to think of. Melissa and Abby wouldn’t want to move. They’d already lost their dad and stepmom. Their home was all they had.
But she couldn’t stay here, she thought, feeling desperate. It was a twisted kind of hell for her. Which meant what? Endure the town as long as she could and give the girls more time to adjust to her and moving?
Not a decision she could make without a second cup of coffee.
She made her way to the kitchen. Melissa was on the phone with one of her friends and Abby had gone next door to play. Tyler was with his father. She got out the phone book and called a couple real estate offices from her cell.
An hour later, she’d confirmed what she’d already guessed. No one would commit without seeing the house in person, but the consensus was for rental property and fixing up was required. A sale could be “as is” but that seriously cut down on the number of interested buyers as well as the price.
Liz had a feeling the house was all the girls could expect to get from their father. Her gut said that fixing it up and then renting it made the most sense. Let the property value increase while Melissa and Abby were growing. If they wanted to sell it later, they could. She could even pay for the renovations herself.
She got out a pad of paper and started making a list. She would have to get an attorney to draw up a title transfer. Roy had said he wanted to put the house in the girls’ names. Fortunately, Bettina wasn’t on the title, so she wasn’t going to be a complication.
Liz wandered back into the kitchen for more coffee, then headed for her computer. Maybe she could get in a couple of pages before Abby and Tyler returned.
Her timing was off. She’d barely clicked on her word processing program when her son flew into the house. He bounced onto the sofa next to her, then threw his arms around her.
“How are you?” she asked, hugging him back and kissing his forehead.
“Good. Dad had doughnuts and he only let me eat two. And I saw the new designs for a windmill. Dad says it’s going to be more energy efficient. And he really liked the card I gave him.”
Tyler continued to relive his morning in real time. Nearly every other sentence began with “Dad says.” Liz told herself this was all good news, even as she felt a little less important in her son’s life.
A fleeting emotion, she told herself. One that would pass.
“Then Dad said it was your fault that I don’t know him because you kept me from him. Dad says you were wrong not to let us be together.”
Liz nearly fell out of her chair. “Excuse me?” she asked.
Tyler’s eyes got big and he looked worried. “He wasn’t mad when he said it, Mom. Don’t be mad.”
Don’t be mad? Don’t be mad when she was doing everything she could to bring father and son together and Ethan was going behind her back, trying to make her look guilty? Had he bothered to mention how badly he’d treated her twelve years ago? Or the fact that she’d come back to tell him about his kid and his wife had been the one to keep them apart? Of course not.
“It’s fine, I was just surprised,” she said, forcing a smile. She glanced at her watch. “I thought we’d go to the pool later. And Montana wants me to bring you by the library to look at some new books they got in.”
His face brightened. “Can we go now?”
“Sure. Why don’t you tell Melissa, so she knows. And I want to make a quick call.”
“Okay.”
He raced upstairs. When she heard his feet thundering overhead, she picked up her cell and Ethan’s business card. She was put through to him immediately.
“We have to talk,” she said by way of greeting. “Now.”
He hesitated. “I have an appointment.”
“I don’t give a damn.”
“Okay. Starbucks in fifteen minutes?”
“Fine.” She hung up.
SHE LEFT TYLER WITH MONTANA at the library and promised to be back in half an hour. What she had to say wouldn’t take more than a few minutes.
Ethan was already sitting outside when she got there. An umbrella shaded him from the bright sun.
“What’s up?” he asked, looking tall and handsome and annoyingly confused. “You sounded upset.”
She ignored the way her body reacted to the sight of him, not wanting to remember what being with him had been like. Better that she remembered all the ways she’d killed him in her books. And the even more painful way she would kill him in the next one. It was what he deserved, the bastard.
“What were you thinking?” she began. “We’re supposed to be working together. At least that’s what you said. I’ll accept that you’re mad at me. Fine. But don’t you dare talk about me with my son. You had no right to tell him it was my fault that you and Tyler don’t know each other and that I was wrong to keep him from you. Do you think you’re helping your cause? Not only does it make me regret ever coming back, it makes me know I can’t trust you at all.”
His body tensed. “He told you.”
“Of course he told me. I’m his mother. He tells me everything.” She was fighting blinding fury. “Did it make you feel all manly to crap all over me in front of my kid?”
“No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. We were talking about what he usually does in the summer and on his birthday and all I could think was how much I’d missed. I lost it.”
“Not much of an excuse,” she said, doing her best to keep her voice low. “Do you think you can come between Tyler and me?”
“No. That’s not what I was trying to do.” He stared into her eyes. “I swear, Liz, I’m sorry. I reacted. It was stupid.”
“You say that to me, but did you bother saying it to Tyler?” She waited. He shook his head. “Figures. You’re playing us, Ethan. And that’s a huge mistake. No one will win that game.”
“I’m not trying to come between you.”
She held his gaze. “You expect me to believe that?”
“Probably not.” He sucked in a breath. “I was mad.”
“You’re mad all the time.”
“I have a good reason.”
She leaned toward him. “Yes, you do. And you also know I’m not as much the devil as you first thought.”
“I’m sorry, Liz. I was an idiot,” he apologized, sounding as if he meant it.
It was easier to believe that rather than think he was deliberately trying to undermine her, but easier didn’t necessarily mean right.
“You want me punished,” she said, her voice quieter. “You need to get over that.”
He drew in a breath. “I know.”
ETHAN DID KNOW, BUT SOMETIMES it was damn hard not to react. He’d lost so much and even though it wasn’t all Liz’s fault, it was tough not to blame her.
She stared at him, her green eyes flashing with anger, her mouth set with determination. She would take him on, if necessary. He wanted to say she couldn’t win, but he wasn’t sure that was true. She had eleven years’ worth of a relationship with Tyler. He’d known his kid all of two weeks.
Bitterness threatened, but he pushed it away. She was right—he had to think before he spoke.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated.
She sighed. “I guess I have to at least pretend to believe you.”
“You could try actually believing me.”
“Don’t push it.”
“I was wrong.”
“Yes, you were.” She shook her head. “Okay. I’ll do my best to let it go. Just don’t do that again. We have to work together. If we don’t, the person who gets hurt the most is Tyler. You’re everything he’s ever wanted. You don’t have to destroy me in order to make him love you.”
Ethan stiffened. “That’s not what I was doing.”
