Almost Perfect
Page 18
“Denise? I doubt that. She likes everyone.”
If only that were true, Liz thought. “She doesn’t like me. She’s angry about me keeping Tyler from Ethan and the family.”
“Well, sure.”
Liz looked at the woman sitting across from her. “Let me pause and bask in your sympathy.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. But from her point of view, she’s lost time. Nothing can make up for that.” Pia held up her hand. “And before you go off on me about sleeping with Ethan right after you left—first, I didn’t know you were actually dating him. Second, nothing happened. He was too drunk that night and we didn’t make a second attempt.”
“You’re saying lack of penetration means it doesn’t count?”
“Something like that.”
Liz was too tired to fight, even with Pia. “I’ll accept the blame for the first six years that were lost, but not after that. I came back again.”
She briefly told Pia about her meeting with Rayanne and the subsequent letter.
Pia’s blue eyes widened. “I can’t believe she did that. I know Rayanne had her problems, but to keep Tyler from Ethan? And then she died without telling him.”
“Why are you surprised? She was never very nice. To me the question is more about why Ethan ever got involved with her.”
“She was pregnant when they got married,” Pia informed, then paused as their salads were delivered.
Pregnant as in they had to get married? Liz waited until the server had left to lean forward. “That’s why they got married?”
“Uh-huh. I think Rayanne had picked out Ethan a while before, but he wasn’t that interested. Then she got pregnant and he wasn’t the kind of guy to walk away.”
Liz ignored the stab of pain at hearing that and refused to wonder if he would have been willing to marry her if he’d found out about Tyler. She knew the answer. After all, Ethan was a Hendrix.
“Then I showed up,” Liz said. “Threatening her happy world.”
“She must have been terrified. Especially if she knew that you and Ethan had been involved before. She would have thought she could lose everything.” Pia looked at her. “You probably think she deserved it. She wasn’t exactly nice to you in high school.”
Neither were you. Liz thought the words, but didn’t say them. Pia was different. Not the same mean girl she’d been back then.
“No one deserves to lose everything,” Liz said at last.
“But it happens.” Pia sipped her wine. “It did to me.”
“What are you talking about.”
“You don’t know? Oh, right. You were gone by then.” Pia shrugged. “My senior year of high school it all fell apart. My dad lost his job.”
“He owned the company, didn’t he?”
“He was president, which isn’t exactly the same thing. It seems sales weren’t as good as he had led the board of directors to believe. He’d also been stealing money for years. Not telling the employees was one thing, but not telling the IRS is another. He was charged with tax evasion, fraud, theft. I can’t remember everything. My mom took off for Florida. I wanted to stay here and finish high school. She agreed. When I graduated, she said, after what she’d been through, it would be better if I learned to stand on my own.”
Liz didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry.” Her own mother hadn’t been a prize, but at least she’d grown up used to it. Pia’s mother had done an about-face at the worst time in a young girl’s life. That made things worse. “What about your dad?”
“He killed himself the day before the trial started.”
Liz dropped her fork onto the table. “Pia. I’m so sorry.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“That can’t make it any easier to deal with.”
The other woman looked at her and smiled slightly. “It makes it easier to forget. Besides, I was a real bitch in high school. Maybe I earned it.”
“No. You didn’t. I really am sorry.”
“Sorry enough to let the whole na**d-with-Ethan thing go?”
Liz nodded. “I was never really angry at you.”
“I’m a safer target than Ethan. Right?”
Liz shrugged. “And you’re also insightful. That’s annoying.”
Pia’s smile turned genuine. “This is probably where we say we’re going to start over and really be friends.”
Liz thought about everything going on in her life. How there wasn’t anyone she could talk to. How nice it would be to have someone on her side.
“I’d like that,” she admitted.
“Me, too.”
Pia sighed. “You need to give the town a chance. I know things have been rough, but the people here will support you, if you give it time.”
“No, thanks. I’m not buying into the theory of small-town bliss.”
“Maybe we’ll change your mind.”
“Maybe hell will freeze over.”
Pia laughed. “You never know.”
CHAPTER TEN
AFTER A FEW DAYS, LIZ SETTLED into a routine. The construction crew showed up every morning and made impressive progress on the house—a fact that surprised her. She had wondered if Ethan had told his people to go slow, but he obviously hadn’t. The kids settled into the rhythm of day camp, taking the bus up the mountain every morning and riding it back down every afternoon.
They all loved their programs, especially Melissa, who had already spent two evenings online checking out the USC Film School. Ethan had seen Tyler twice, which she encouraged. He’d also tried to talk to her, which she’d resisted. Despite his apology, she was still hurt by what he’d said to his mother. The honest assessment that she didn’t matter shouldn’t have been a surprise, but knowing that didn’t take away the sting of the words.
He was a weakness. Here, in town, on a sunny morning as she walked by the lake, she could admit the truth. There was something about Ethan. Maybe because he was the first man she’d ever loved, ever been with. Maybe because they had a child together. Whatever the reason, he could get to her in a way no one else could. Around him, she was vulnerable. Which made him dangerous.
Avoiding him might not be the most mature response, but it was the safest.
Liz glanced at her watch. She’d had a productive writing morning and had rewarded herself with this walk. But now it was time to head back to her computer and review the pages she’d written. To make them better, sharper.
She took the path leading back to town, thinking that she could stop for a latte. The caffeine would perk her up and give her the energy she needed to push through the pages. She’d barely made it to the corner when someone called her name. She turned and saw Montana waving.
While Ethan might not be one of her favorite people at the moment, Liz found herself smiling as Montana approached. Ethan’s sister was unfailingly cheerful and enthused. There were days when a little enthusiasm was the best gift possible.
“Taking a break?” Montana asked as she approached. “I’m desperate for coffee. I was up all night reading. It’s so hard when a book is great, you know? So great you can’t stop reading even though it’s late and your eyes are burning.”
“It’s the best compliment any writer can ask for,” Liz told her. “Come on. I’ll buy you a latte.”
They got their coffee, then sat in the shade on the small patio outside Starbucks.
“My mother hates you,” Montana stated cheerfully. “Okay—maybe hate is too strong, but she’s still going off on rants about you.”
Liz held in a groan. “Thanks for the update.”
“Don’t worry about it. She starts out feeling sad about how everyone said really bad things about you in high school. She has three daughters and knows if anyone had talked about us that way, it would have broken her heart. Then she admits it would have been tough to raise a kid on her own and how you did such a great job. Then she starts in on the fact that you would have been welcome in her house and all she missed and then she’s throwing pots and we’re ducking for cover.”
Liz winced. “You have a gift for making things come alive.”
Montana laughed. “The outbursts have a little less energy every time. In another month or so, she’ll be calm.” Her humor faded. “It’s not you she’s mad at. It’s circumstances. I think she understands more than she’s letting on.”
“I hope so,” Liz said, thinking that Denise would always come down on Ethan’s side. After all, he was her son and Liz was just the woman who had kept Tyler from the Hendrix family.
“Dakota and Nevada are pretty much staying out of it,” Montana continued. “And my other brothers barely know what’s going on. Mom will come around. It’s worth the wait. Once you’re part of the family, she’ll do anything to protect you.”
“She might make an exception for me,” Liz murmured.
“No,” Montana corrected, briefly touching her arm. “I’m saying this all wrong, aren’t I? She’ll be there for you, Liz. I promise.”
“Thanks. How’s the book fair coming?”
“Great.”
Montana launched into details about the project. Liz pretended to listen, but instead thought about the other woman’s words. Liz’s track record with Ethan wasn’t exactly impressive and while the idea of Denise being on her side was tempting, she knew better than to hope for too much.
“If you have anyone you want to invite,” Montana was saying, “let me know and I’ll put them on the list. We’re going to have a VIP reception and everything. A chance for lesser mortals to mingle.”
Liz laughed. “Lesser mortals? I don’t think so.”
“It’s how we see ourselves. We have a club with bylaws and everything. So anyone from San Francisco?”
“No, thanks. My friends there have all been to plenty of signings. I think my assistant would like to come, though. Every time I talk to her, she wants to know about small-town life.” Obviously Peggy had been watching too much TV, Liz thought grimly. If she knew the reality of Fool’s Gold, she would run in the opposite direction.
Montana’s eyes brightened with interest. “No one of the male variety longing for your return?”
“Sorry, but no.”
Montana sighed. “Damn. I was hoping one of us had a decent love life. Mine sucks.” She sipped her coffee. “I can’t believe you’re not married. You’re successful, beautiful, totally together.”
If Liz had been drinking, she would have choked. “Is that how you see me?”
“Well, yeah. It’s who you are.”
“Not exactly. I’m more the scrambling-to-keep-up kind of person,” Liz told her. Beautiful? Not even with perfect lighting. “The book success is great, but it’s what I do, not who I am. And there are downsides.”
“Crazed fans?”
“I’m sure I have a few. But the bigger problem is more how people think about me. The assumptions.”
Montana leaned toward her. “By people you mean guys.”
Liz laughed. “Did you have to choose this moment to be perceptive?”
“It’s a gift. Who is he?”
Liz hesitated, then decided she didn’t mind telling the story—even if it made her look stupid. “His name is Ryan. He’s a writer, too, which should have been a clue. When we met, he’d published two classic coming-of-age novels. Sort of a poor man’s Nick Hornby, without being even close to that good. But he’d had some modest success. We met at a launch party for another author. He was charming and I was…” She drew in a breath. “I was lonely.”
“How long ago was this?”
“About four years ago. I’d been raising Tyler on my own, I’d managed to get my first book published, and while it had done well, it was a first book. I didn’t know if I had a career or a single lucky break. I was still working as a waitress to support us, writing at night and getting by on about four hours of sleep.”
Liz shrugged. “We talked at the party, exchanged numbers. I didn’t think anything of it. And I didn’t hear from him for about three months. At the time he said it was because he’d been on the road, looking for inspiration for his next book.” She wrinkled her nose. “I figured out later, it was because he was waiting to see how my second book did.”
Montana’s eyes widened. “No way.”
“Uh-huh. I suppose if it hadn’t been successful, I never would have heard from him.”
“What a jerk.”
“A very smooth, good-looking jerk,” Liz told her, remembering how dazzled she’d been on their first date. Ryan couldn’t have been more attentive and interesting. Not to mention funny, charming and kind. He’d been great with Tyler, too. He’d played her and her kid, and she hadn’t known at all.
“He was everything I could have wished for. I was crazy about him. We got engaged.”
“You were married?” Montana’s voice was a squeak.
“No. Somehow the wedding never got planned. Which turned out to be a good thing. He went to New York to meet with his publisher about his new book. He wouldn’t tell me what it was about, which was fine. That was his process. While he was gone, I watered his plants.”
Liz rested her forearms on the table. “Okay—let me just admit I was really curious about the book he was writing. He’d been so excited about it and his previous book had bombed. I wanted him to do well.”
If only that were true, Liz thought. “She doesn’t like me. She’s angry about me keeping Tyler from Ethan and the family.”
“Well, sure.”
Liz looked at the woman sitting across from her. “Let me pause and bask in your sympathy.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. But from her point of view, she’s lost time. Nothing can make up for that.” Pia held up her hand. “And before you go off on me about sleeping with Ethan right after you left—first, I didn’t know you were actually dating him. Second, nothing happened. He was too drunk that night and we didn’t make a second attempt.”
“You’re saying lack of penetration means it doesn’t count?”
“Something like that.”
Liz was too tired to fight, even with Pia. “I’ll accept the blame for the first six years that were lost, but not after that. I came back again.”
She briefly told Pia about her meeting with Rayanne and the subsequent letter.
Pia’s blue eyes widened. “I can’t believe she did that. I know Rayanne had her problems, but to keep Tyler from Ethan? And then she died without telling him.”
“Why are you surprised? She was never very nice. To me the question is more about why Ethan ever got involved with her.”
“She was pregnant when they got married,” Pia informed, then paused as their salads were delivered.
Pregnant as in they had to get married? Liz waited until the server had left to lean forward. “That’s why they got married?”
“Uh-huh. I think Rayanne had picked out Ethan a while before, but he wasn’t that interested. Then she got pregnant and he wasn’t the kind of guy to walk away.”
Liz ignored the stab of pain at hearing that and refused to wonder if he would have been willing to marry her if he’d found out about Tyler. She knew the answer. After all, Ethan was a Hendrix.
“Then I showed up,” Liz said. “Threatening her happy world.”
“She must have been terrified. Especially if she knew that you and Ethan had been involved before. She would have thought she could lose everything.” Pia looked at her. “You probably think she deserved it. She wasn’t exactly nice to you in high school.”
Neither were you. Liz thought the words, but didn’t say them. Pia was different. Not the same mean girl she’d been back then.
“No one deserves to lose everything,” Liz said at last.
“But it happens.” Pia sipped her wine. “It did to me.”
“What are you talking about.”
“You don’t know? Oh, right. You were gone by then.” Pia shrugged. “My senior year of high school it all fell apart. My dad lost his job.”
“He owned the company, didn’t he?”
“He was president, which isn’t exactly the same thing. It seems sales weren’t as good as he had led the board of directors to believe. He’d also been stealing money for years. Not telling the employees was one thing, but not telling the IRS is another. He was charged with tax evasion, fraud, theft. I can’t remember everything. My mom took off for Florida. I wanted to stay here and finish high school. She agreed. When I graduated, she said, after what she’d been through, it would be better if I learned to stand on my own.”
Liz didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry.” Her own mother hadn’t been a prize, but at least she’d grown up used to it. Pia’s mother had done an about-face at the worst time in a young girl’s life. That made things worse. “What about your dad?”
“He killed himself the day before the trial started.”
Liz dropped her fork onto the table. “Pia. I’m so sorry.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“That can’t make it any easier to deal with.”
The other woman looked at her and smiled slightly. “It makes it easier to forget. Besides, I was a real bitch in high school. Maybe I earned it.”
“No. You didn’t. I really am sorry.”
“Sorry enough to let the whole na**d-with-Ethan thing go?”
Liz nodded. “I was never really angry at you.”
“I’m a safer target than Ethan. Right?”
Liz shrugged. “And you’re also insightful. That’s annoying.”
Pia’s smile turned genuine. “This is probably where we say we’re going to start over and really be friends.”
Liz thought about everything going on in her life. How there wasn’t anyone she could talk to. How nice it would be to have someone on her side.
“I’d like that,” she admitted.
“Me, too.”
Pia sighed. “You need to give the town a chance. I know things have been rough, but the people here will support you, if you give it time.”
“No, thanks. I’m not buying into the theory of small-town bliss.”
“Maybe we’ll change your mind.”
“Maybe hell will freeze over.”
Pia laughed. “You never know.”
CHAPTER TEN
AFTER A FEW DAYS, LIZ SETTLED into a routine. The construction crew showed up every morning and made impressive progress on the house—a fact that surprised her. She had wondered if Ethan had told his people to go slow, but he obviously hadn’t. The kids settled into the rhythm of day camp, taking the bus up the mountain every morning and riding it back down every afternoon.
They all loved their programs, especially Melissa, who had already spent two evenings online checking out the USC Film School. Ethan had seen Tyler twice, which she encouraged. He’d also tried to talk to her, which she’d resisted. Despite his apology, she was still hurt by what he’d said to his mother. The honest assessment that she didn’t matter shouldn’t have been a surprise, but knowing that didn’t take away the sting of the words.
He was a weakness. Here, in town, on a sunny morning as she walked by the lake, she could admit the truth. There was something about Ethan. Maybe because he was the first man she’d ever loved, ever been with. Maybe because they had a child together. Whatever the reason, he could get to her in a way no one else could. Around him, she was vulnerable. Which made him dangerous.
Avoiding him might not be the most mature response, but it was the safest.
Liz glanced at her watch. She’d had a productive writing morning and had rewarded herself with this walk. But now it was time to head back to her computer and review the pages she’d written. To make them better, sharper.
She took the path leading back to town, thinking that she could stop for a latte. The caffeine would perk her up and give her the energy she needed to push through the pages. She’d barely made it to the corner when someone called her name. She turned and saw Montana waving.
While Ethan might not be one of her favorite people at the moment, Liz found herself smiling as Montana approached. Ethan’s sister was unfailingly cheerful and enthused. There were days when a little enthusiasm was the best gift possible.
“Taking a break?” Montana asked as she approached. “I’m desperate for coffee. I was up all night reading. It’s so hard when a book is great, you know? So great you can’t stop reading even though it’s late and your eyes are burning.”
“It’s the best compliment any writer can ask for,” Liz told her. “Come on. I’ll buy you a latte.”
They got their coffee, then sat in the shade on the small patio outside Starbucks.
“My mother hates you,” Montana stated cheerfully. “Okay—maybe hate is too strong, but she’s still going off on rants about you.”
Liz held in a groan. “Thanks for the update.”
“Don’t worry about it. She starts out feeling sad about how everyone said really bad things about you in high school. She has three daughters and knows if anyone had talked about us that way, it would have broken her heart. Then she admits it would have been tough to raise a kid on her own and how you did such a great job. Then she starts in on the fact that you would have been welcome in her house and all she missed and then she’s throwing pots and we’re ducking for cover.”
Liz winced. “You have a gift for making things come alive.”
Montana laughed. “The outbursts have a little less energy every time. In another month or so, she’ll be calm.” Her humor faded. “It’s not you she’s mad at. It’s circumstances. I think she understands more than she’s letting on.”
“I hope so,” Liz said, thinking that Denise would always come down on Ethan’s side. After all, he was her son and Liz was just the woman who had kept Tyler from the Hendrix family.
“Dakota and Nevada are pretty much staying out of it,” Montana continued. “And my other brothers barely know what’s going on. Mom will come around. It’s worth the wait. Once you’re part of the family, she’ll do anything to protect you.”
“She might make an exception for me,” Liz murmured.
“No,” Montana corrected, briefly touching her arm. “I’m saying this all wrong, aren’t I? She’ll be there for you, Liz. I promise.”
“Thanks. How’s the book fair coming?”
“Great.”
Montana launched into details about the project. Liz pretended to listen, but instead thought about the other woman’s words. Liz’s track record with Ethan wasn’t exactly impressive and while the idea of Denise being on her side was tempting, she knew better than to hope for too much.
“If you have anyone you want to invite,” Montana was saying, “let me know and I’ll put them on the list. We’re going to have a VIP reception and everything. A chance for lesser mortals to mingle.”
Liz laughed. “Lesser mortals? I don’t think so.”
“It’s how we see ourselves. We have a club with bylaws and everything. So anyone from San Francisco?”
“No, thanks. My friends there have all been to plenty of signings. I think my assistant would like to come, though. Every time I talk to her, she wants to know about small-town life.” Obviously Peggy had been watching too much TV, Liz thought grimly. If she knew the reality of Fool’s Gold, she would run in the opposite direction.
Montana’s eyes brightened with interest. “No one of the male variety longing for your return?”
“Sorry, but no.”
Montana sighed. “Damn. I was hoping one of us had a decent love life. Mine sucks.” She sipped her coffee. “I can’t believe you’re not married. You’re successful, beautiful, totally together.”
If Liz had been drinking, she would have choked. “Is that how you see me?”
“Well, yeah. It’s who you are.”
“Not exactly. I’m more the scrambling-to-keep-up kind of person,” Liz told her. Beautiful? Not even with perfect lighting. “The book success is great, but it’s what I do, not who I am. And there are downsides.”
“Crazed fans?”
“I’m sure I have a few. But the bigger problem is more how people think about me. The assumptions.”
Montana leaned toward her. “By people you mean guys.”
Liz laughed. “Did you have to choose this moment to be perceptive?”
“It’s a gift. Who is he?”
Liz hesitated, then decided she didn’t mind telling the story—even if it made her look stupid. “His name is Ryan. He’s a writer, too, which should have been a clue. When we met, he’d published two classic coming-of-age novels. Sort of a poor man’s Nick Hornby, without being even close to that good. But he’d had some modest success. We met at a launch party for another author. He was charming and I was…” She drew in a breath. “I was lonely.”
“How long ago was this?”
“About four years ago. I’d been raising Tyler on my own, I’d managed to get my first book published, and while it had done well, it was a first book. I didn’t know if I had a career or a single lucky break. I was still working as a waitress to support us, writing at night and getting by on about four hours of sleep.”
Liz shrugged. “We talked at the party, exchanged numbers. I didn’t think anything of it. And I didn’t hear from him for about three months. At the time he said it was because he’d been on the road, looking for inspiration for his next book.” She wrinkled her nose. “I figured out later, it was because he was waiting to see how my second book did.”
Montana’s eyes widened. “No way.”
“Uh-huh. I suppose if it hadn’t been successful, I never would have heard from him.”
“What a jerk.”
“A very smooth, good-looking jerk,” Liz told her, remembering how dazzled she’d been on their first date. Ryan couldn’t have been more attentive and interesting. Not to mention funny, charming and kind. He’d been great with Tyler, too. He’d played her and her kid, and she hadn’t known at all.
“He was everything I could have wished for. I was crazy about him. We got engaged.”
“You were married?” Montana’s voice was a squeak.
“No. Somehow the wedding never got planned. Which turned out to be a good thing. He went to New York to meet with his publisher about his new book. He wouldn’t tell me what it was about, which was fine. That was his process. While he was gone, I watered his plants.”
Liz rested her forearms on the table. “Okay—let me just admit I was really curious about the book he was writing. He’d been so excited about it and his previous book had bombed. I wanted him to do well.”
