Angelfire
Page 51
Fury spun through me. "Not as worthless as you."
He certainly didn't ignore that. He grabbed me around the jaw in a surprisingly fast move and lifted my face up so that his eyes bored down into mine. He might have meant the hold to hurt, but it didn't. Not for me. Not as much as his words did.
I fought everything in me not to snap each of his fingers like little twigs. My breathing grew longer and steadier as I stared up at my father and said, "I hate you."
His gaze didn't flicker for even a heartbeat, but his fingers gripped my chin tighter. "I don't care."
He held me a moment longer before releasing me roughly, knocking me back into the wal . He whirled around and stomped away. My mom started toward me, but I rushed up the steps and ran into my room before she could say a thing, slamming the door behind me. I flipped on the light and threw my purse at my bed, spil ing its contents al over the floor. Once I was alone, my composure was gone and I started to hyperventilate as my gaze spun around the room. I couldn't focus on anything. I was dizzy, furious, and exhausted.
Final y, my eyes rested on the music box on my dresser, the music box my dad had given me, which I loved. Instead of opening it and watching the bal erina twirl around to pretty music, I grabbed the box, shoved open my window, and chucked it as hard as I could into the night. I watched the music box fly through the air and shatter when it hit the ground. I never wanted to see that bal erina dance or hear that music ever again.
Spinning away from the window, and I buried my face into my hands and let out a muffled scream into my palms. Once it was out, I began to sob. I ran my hands through my hair, pul ing the locks away from my face so I could breathe better, but it didn't work. I cried and cried, and my knees started to buckle, but I refused to fal down.
"El ie."
The soft voice behind me, more familiar than any sound I'd ever heard before, sent a rush of relief through my body. As I turned around, Wil wrapped his arms around me warm and tight. He felt as familiar as his voice, firm like the foundation of a skyscraper, and I hugged him tight and buried my face into his chest as I cried. He touched my hair and held me as close as he could and said nothing. I didn't need him to say anything. I just needed him to stand there and hold me. We stayed like that until I stopped crying and loosened my grip. He smel ed so good, so much like home, more familiar than the house I lived in, that I didn't want to pul away, but I knew I had to. I stepped back and let go, unable to look up into his kind green eyes and face him.
"Thank you," I whispered hoarsely, looking at the floor instead of at him, wiping at the tears streaked across my face. "I'm okay now." I was embarrassed by what he knew had happened and by my reaction to it. But I also knew that he wouldn't judge me, even though I did.
"Anything for you."
Those words made me look at him at last. His expression was firm with worry and anger, but he tried to appear calmer than he truly was. The kindness of his effort made me terrifical y grateful to have him in my life at that moment. He swal owed hard and his gaze flickered. "If he had struck you," he said slowly, "I would have kil ed him."
I stared at him, looking him up and down, registering the rigidity in his shoulders. "I know."
Our eyes met again, and neither of us moved or spoke for some time. I was final y lucid after al , as if his presence had washed away al the sadness and anger flooding my heart.
"I have to go," Wil said.
He disappeared out my window, leaving me alone, once again putting distance between us as soon as we got close. I stared after him, past the curtains bil owing in the icy nighttime breeze and out that black hole of a window. 18
I NEEDED TO CALL KATE. SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN worried about where I was. I grabbed my phone, cleared my throat, and cal ed her.
"Where are you?" she asked as soon as she answered.
"I'm at home," I said, switching on the lamp by my bed and turning the overheard light off. "My car is totaled."
"What?" She shrieked so loud, I had to pul the phone away from my ear.
"We hit a bunch of deer on the way home. My car is seriously trashed."
"Oh my God," she gasped. "Gross. Are you al right?"
"Yeah, we're fine, just real y tired and dirty." I didn't tel her about what had happened with my dad as soon as I got home. I didn't need to relive it again.
"Do you stil want to come over? I can come and pick you up. Evan got a fifth."
I felt bad turning her down, but I was just not in the mood to drink. A monster had tried to kil me only a few hours before. Al I wanted now was to sleep. "How about tomorrow night?" I asked. "I'm stil pretty freaked out. Tomorrow night, we should get everyone together at your house."
"Al right," she said. "You had better not bail on me again. I think we should hang out before the party, too. It feels like I never see you anymore."
I laughed. "I won't bail, I promise. I'l even bring Wil ." If he was going to stick close to me, he might as wel show his face and enjoy himself a little. It was a good excuse to keep him nearby.
No sooner did I think that than I saw Wil climb back in through my window.
"Hey, I'l give you a cal tomorrow," I offered, trying my best to be cheerful. "We'l party then, I swear. We'l even hang out earlier, too. Laser tag, maybe?"
"Okay-bye-love-you," she said in one breath.
I hung up, tossed my phone on my bed, and turned my attention to Wil . "What are you doing back?" I asked. "I thought you'd be gone for good tonight."
He certainly didn't ignore that. He grabbed me around the jaw in a surprisingly fast move and lifted my face up so that his eyes bored down into mine. He might have meant the hold to hurt, but it didn't. Not for me. Not as much as his words did.
I fought everything in me not to snap each of his fingers like little twigs. My breathing grew longer and steadier as I stared up at my father and said, "I hate you."
His gaze didn't flicker for even a heartbeat, but his fingers gripped my chin tighter. "I don't care."
He held me a moment longer before releasing me roughly, knocking me back into the wal . He whirled around and stomped away. My mom started toward me, but I rushed up the steps and ran into my room before she could say a thing, slamming the door behind me. I flipped on the light and threw my purse at my bed, spil ing its contents al over the floor. Once I was alone, my composure was gone and I started to hyperventilate as my gaze spun around the room. I couldn't focus on anything. I was dizzy, furious, and exhausted.
Final y, my eyes rested on the music box on my dresser, the music box my dad had given me, which I loved. Instead of opening it and watching the bal erina twirl around to pretty music, I grabbed the box, shoved open my window, and chucked it as hard as I could into the night. I watched the music box fly through the air and shatter when it hit the ground. I never wanted to see that bal erina dance or hear that music ever again.
Spinning away from the window, and I buried my face into my hands and let out a muffled scream into my palms. Once it was out, I began to sob. I ran my hands through my hair, pul ing the locks away from my face so I could breathe better, but it didn't work. I cried and cried, and my knees started to buckle, but I refused to fal down.
"El ie."
The soft voice behind me, more familiar than any sound I'd ever heard before, sent a rush of relief through my body. As I turned around, Wil wrapped his arms around me warm and tight. He felt as familiar as his voice, firm like the foundation of a skyscraper, and I hugged him tight and buried my face into his chest as I cried. He touched my hair and held me as close as he could and said nothing. I didn't need him to say anything. I just needed him to stand there and hold me. We stayed like that until I stopped crying and loosened my grip. He smel ed so good, so much like home, more familiar than the house I lived in, that I didn't want to pul away, but I knew I had to. I stepped back and let go, unable to look up into his kind green eyes and face him.
"Thank you," I whispered hoarsely, looking at the floor instead of at him, wiping at the tears streaked across my face. "I'm okay now." I was embarrassed by what he knew had happened and by my reaction to it. But I also knew that he wouldn't judge me, even though I did.
"Anything for you."
Those words made me look at him at last. His expression was firm with worry and anger, but he tried to appear calmer than he truly was. The kindness of his effort made me terrifical y grateful to have him in my life at that moment. He swal owed hard and his gaze flickered. "If he had struck you," he said slowly, "I would have kil ed him."
I stared at him, looking him up and down, registering the rigidity in his shoulders. "I know."
Our eyes met again, and neither of us moved or spoke for some time. I was final y lucid after al , as if his presence had washed away al the sadness and anger flooding my heart.
"I have to go," Wil said.
He disappeared out my window, leaving me alone, once again putting distance between us as soon as we got close. I stared after him, past the curtains bil owing in the icy nighttime breeze and out that black hole of a window. 18
I NEEDED TO CALL KATE. SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN worried about where I was. I grabbed my phone, cleared my throat, and cal ed her.
"Where are you?" she asked as soon as she answered.
"I'm at home," I said, switching on the lamp by my bed and turning the overheard light off. "My car is totaled."
"What?" She shrieked so loud, I had to pul the phone away from my ear.
"We hit a bunch of deer on the way home. My car is seriously trashed."
"Oh my God," she gasped. "Gross. Are you al right?"
"Yeah, we're fine, just real y tired and dirty." I didn't tel her about what had happened with my dad as soon as I got home. I didn't need to relive it again.
"Do you stil want to come over? I can come and pick you up. Evan got a fifth."
I felt bad turning her down, but I was just not in the mood to drink. A monster had tried to kil me only a few hours before. Al I wanted now was to sleep. "How about tomorrow night?" I asked. "I'm stil pretty freaked out. Tomorrow night, we should get everyone together at your house."
"Al right," she said. "You had better not bail on me again. I think we should hang out before the party, too. It feels like I never see you anymore."
I laughed. "I won't bail, I promise. I'l even bring Wil ." If he was going to stick close to me, he might as wel show his face and enjoy himself a little. It was a good excuse to keep him nearby.
No sooner did I think that than I saw Wil climb back in through my window.
"Hey, I'l give you a cal tomorrow," I offered, trying my best to be cheerful. "We'l party then, I swear. We'l even hang out earlier, too. Laser tag, maybe?"
"Okay-bye-love-you," she said in one breath.
I hung up, tossed my phone on my bed, and turned my attention to Wil . "What are you doing back?" I asked. "I thought you'd be gone for good tonight."
