Anguish
Page 52
His jaw ticks, and his eyes look almost black under the moonlight.
“You want somethin’ I can’t give.”
“Wrong,” I grind out. “I’ve seen you give it. I’ve seen you give it to Santana, and in the past week I’ve seen you give it to Diesel. You either choose to give it to me, or you don’t. You don’t, we end this when the money is paid back.”
“Santana?”
“I’ve seen you with her,” I growl, hating that I sound jealous. “I’ve seen how fucking sweet you are to her.”
“She’s like my sister.”
“You’re still giving it to her.”
“It’s different.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
He growls. I glare.
“We’re fuck buddies; that’s it. You made that very clear,” I snap. “So go ahead and take what’s yours, because it’s the only thing I’ll give you while we’re playing this stupid fucking game.”
“Then for now, I sure as shit will be takin’ what’s mine.”
With that, he reaches down, jerks my skirt up, and then lifts me so my backside is against his bike. Shit, will this thing fall over? I don’t get time to ponder that because his lips crush down on mine. Oh, yes. Mack angry is hot, and annoying, but mostly hot. His tongue toys with mine and I hear the buckle of his belt as he undoes it. He’s going to fuck me, I don’t doubt that, but he’s not going to be slow about it.
No foreplay.
Just sex.
He reaches between my legs, pulling my panties aside. “You’re fuckin’ wet.”
I am wet, because this is hot.
He jerks his jeans down, grips my ass, and then he’s inside me, deep, super deep and hard. Fucking hard. I cry out his name but then bite my lip, not wanting anyone to interrupt us right now.
“Baby,” he rasps.
Baby? Oh God, my heart just fell in love with him a little more.
“Mack,” I mewl. “Fuck me hard.”
“Jesus,” he grinds out and he fucks me hard.
“Harder,” I breathe, sliding my fingers up his shirt and running my nails down his belly.
“Fuck, baby, I fuck you harder we’re gonna be on the ground.”
“Mack,” I demand between moans. “Fuck me like you mean it.”
He lifts me off the bike and takes a few steps, then my back is against a fence and he’s fucking me so hard that all that’s coming out of my throat are little oomphs as my back hits the fence. His fingers are biting into my ass, mine are shoved up his shirt and he’s giving it to me hard. Really fucking hard.
“Mack, I’m going to come,” I scream.
“Come, fuck, put that wet all over my cock.”
My body jerks, and I come so hard I feel my arousal release and coat him. I don’t have time to be ashamed; I’m too busy jerking with an incredible pleasure that I’ve never felt before in my life. Mack thrusts a few more times, then he’s pulsing deep inside me, growling my name, his teeth nipping the skin at my neck.
“Oh, God,” I breathe when we both stop panting.
“Fuck.”
Silence falls, and he slowly releases me, letting me slide down his body. I fix myself, and realize that the silence is extremely painful because I don’t know what it means.
“Are we clear, Mack?” I whisper into the darkness.
“Yeah,” he grinds out. “We’re clear.”
“We fuck. It ends.”
He’s silent.
“Mack?”
“Fuck.”
“Mack.”
He turns, gripping the back of my head and pulling me close. “Not done more than fuck since . . .”
“I know.”
“You’re askin’ me to trust. I don’t fuckin’ trust.”
“Then it ends,” I whisper.
He drops his forehead to mine, and after a long moment he murmurs, “Yeah, it ends.”
My heart falls to pieces.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
It’s been two weeks since I last fucked Mack.
Things have gone back to normal—well, as normal as they can be when things are the way they are. He barely says much to me, but he is getting closer to Diesel. There have even been a few days when I’ve gone out and left them alone. Soon, my debt will be paid back, and this will be over for good.
I won’t get to see him every day, even if it is just him muttering a greeting and then leaving. I won’t get to hold Diesel at night. I won’t be a part of the club, and I won’t have its members in my life. That hurts, it hurts more than I ever could have imagined.
Diesel cries from beside me, and I snap back to reality and rock his bouncer. He settles after a minute or two and goes back to sleep. I’m off in my own little world when I hear a thump at the door. I listen for a minute, but no knock comes. I rush over and peer through the window, but there’s no one there.
Probably a stray dog.
I open the door and stare down to see a box on the porch. It’s addressed to me, so without hesitation, I pick it up and bring it inside. I walk to the table, and plop it down before taking a seat and undoing it. I don’t think I was expecting anything, but maybe Mom or Josie sent me something.
I lift the top, and stare. I just stare.
There’s a heap of stuff in this box, but none of it is nice.
With trembling hands, I reach in and lift the note sitting on the top. I open it and read.
“You want somethin’ I can’t give.”
“Wrong,” I grind out. “I’ve seen you give it. I’ve seen you give it to Santana, and in the past week I’ve seen you give it to Diesel. You either choose to give it to me, or you don’t. You don’t, we end this when the money is paid back.”
“Santana?”
“I’ve seen you with her,” I growl, hating that I sound jealous. “I’ve seen how fucking sweet you are to her.”
“She’s like my sister.”
“You’re still giving it to her.”
“It’s different.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
He growls. I glare.
“We’re fuck buddies; that’s it. You made that very clear,” I snap. “So go ahead and take what’s yours, because it’s the only thing I’ll give you while we’re playing this stupid fucking game.”
“Then for now, I sure as shit will be takin’ what’s mine.”
With that, he reaches down, jerks my skirt up, and then lifts me so my backside is against his bike. Shit, will this thing fall over? I don’t get time to ponder that because his lips crush down on mine. Oh, yes. Mack angry is hot, and annoying, but mostly hot. His tongue toys with mine and I hear the buckle of his belt as he undoes it. He’s going to fuck me, I don’t doubt that, but he’s not going to be slow about it.
No foreplay.
Just sex.
He reaches between my legs, pulling my panties aside. “You’re fuckin’ wet.”
I am wet, because this is hot.
He jerks his jeans down, grips my ass, and then he’s inside me, deep, super deep and hard. Fucking hard. I cry out his name but then bite my lip, not wanting anyone to interrupt us right now.
“Baby,” he rasps.
Baby? Oh God, my heart just fell in love with him a little more.
“Mack,” I mewl. “Fuck me hard.”
“Jesus,” he grinds out and he fucks me hard.
“Harder,” I breathe, sliding my fingers up his shirt and running my nails down his belly.
“Fuck, baby, I fuck you harder we’re gonna be on the ground.”
“Mack,” I demand between moans. “Fuck me like you mean it.”
He lifts me off the bike and takes a few steps, then my back is against a fence and he’s fucking me so hard that all that’s coming out of my throat are little oomphs as my back hits the fence. His fingers are biting into my ass, mine are shoved up his shirt and he’s giving it to me hard. Really fucking hard.
“Mack, I’m going to come,” I scream.
“Come, fuck, put that wet all over my cock.”
My body jerks, and I come so hard I feel my arousal release and coat him. I don’t have time to be ashamed; I’m too busy jerking with an incredible pleasure that I’ve never felt before in my life. Mack thrusts a few more times, then he’s pulsing deep inside me, growling my name, his teeth nipping the skin at my neck.
“Oh, God,” I breathe when we both stop panting.
“Fuck.”
Silence falls, and he slowly releases me, letting me slide down his body. I fix myself, and realize that the silence is extremely painful because I don’t know what it means.
“Are we clear, Mack?” I whisper into the darkness.
“Yeah,” he grinds out. “We’re clear.”
“We fuck. It ends.”
He’s silent.
“Mack?”
“Fuck.”
“Mack.”
He turns, gripping the back of my head and pulling me close. “Not done more than fuck since . . .”
“I know.”
“You’re askin’ me to trust. I don’t fuckin’ trust.”
“Then it ends,” I whisper.
He drops his forehead to mine, and after a long moment he murmurs, “Yeah, it ends.”
My heart falls to pieces.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
It’s been two weeks since I last fucked Mack.
Things have gone back to normal—well, as normal as they can be when things are the way they are. He barely says much to me, but he is getting closer to Diesel. There have even been a few days when I’ve gone out and left them alone. Soon, my debt will be paid back, and this will be over for good.
I won’t get to see him every day, even if it is just him muttering a greeting and then leaving. I won’t get to hold Diesel at night. I won’t be a part of the club, and I won’t have its members in my life. That hurts, it hurts more than I ever could have imagined.
Diesel cries from beside me, and I snap back to reality and rock his bouncer. He settles after a minute or two and goes back to sleep. I’m off in my own little world when I hear a thump at the door. I listen for a minute, but no knock comes. I rush over and peer through the window, but there’s no one there.
Probably a stray dog.
I open the door and stare down to see a box on the porch. It’s addressed to me, so without hesitation, I pick it up and bring it inside. I walk to the table, and plop it down before taking a seat and undoing it. I don’t think I was expecting anything, but maybe Mom or Josie sent me something.
I lift the top, and stare. I just stare.
There’s a heap of stuff in this box, but none of it is nice.
With trembling hands, I reach in and lift the note sitting on the top. I open it and read.
