Archer's Voice
Page 28
"Wow," Jordan said. "So if he never really even came off his property all those years, and he doesn't speak, what exactly is he planning on doing with his life?"
I looked down. "He's still figuring that out," I said, feeling suddenly defensive of him. "He will though. He's just still working on a few of the basics."
They looked at me and I felt suddenly embarrassed for some reason. "Anyway," I went on, "I'll go tell him our plans and hopefully he'll agree to come with us." I got up and went to put on my shoes and coat.
"Okay," Natalie said. "So is this a jeans and t-shirt type of place, or should I go dressier?"
I laughed. "Definitely jeans and t-shirt."
"Think Travis will be there?" she asked me.
I groaned. "Oh guys, I have so much to catch you up on. This could take a while. I'll be back in a few, okay?"
"Okay!" Natalie sang, getting up. Jordan was rooting through his small suitcase for something.
"Okay," he said too, looking back.
I headed out, jumping in my car and turning toward Archer's road.
CHAPTER 24
Archer
I stood at my kitchen sink, drinking down a glass of water in big gulps. I had just gotten back from a run on the shore with the dogs. I wouldn't be able to do that for too much longer once the weather turned.
I stood there thinking about what I was going to do today, feeling a heaviness in my gut that I wasn't sure how to handle. I had felt the same way before my run, too, and thought that the exercise would clear my head. It hadn't.
I was restless, pure and simple. And it wasn't a physical restlessness, apparently. It was mental. When I had awoken that morning, the smell of Bree all around me in the tangled sheets, I had felt happy and content. But then when I realized she had gone, I got up and tried to figure out what to do with my day. There were any number of projects I could work on, but none of them interested me. I had a vague sense that it was a topic that I needed to give some serious consideration to. What are you going to do with your life, Archer? Bree had shaken things up for me–and at the moment, all I could feel was unease. I never expected anyone to come in and open up the world for me, but that's what she had done. And now I had possibilities that I didn't think I'd had before. But they all revolved around her. And that scared me. That scared the living hell out of me.
I heard a knock on my gate and set the glass down. Was Bree off early?
I walked outside my house toward the gate and spotted Travis walking down my driveway toward me.
I stood waiting for him to approach, wondering what the hell he wanted.
He put his hands up in a 'don't shoot me' mock pose, and I cocked my head to the side, waiting.
Travis took a folded paper out of his back pocket and when he got to where I was standing, handed it to me. I took it, but didn't open it.
"Application for a learner's permit," he said. "You'll just need to bring your birth certificate and proof of address with you. A water bill or whatever."
I raised my eyebrows, glancing down at the paper. What did he have up his sleeve now?
"I owe you an apology for what I did with the strip club thing. It was… immature and uncool. And I'm actually glad to see that you and Bree worked it out. I think she really likes you, man."
I wanted to ask him how he knew that–I knew she liked me, maybe more, but I longed to hear what she had told Travis about me, if anything. Of course, even if I'd been able to, it wouldn't be a good idea to ask him–he'd just mess with me, most likely. But I didn't know how to talk about all my feelings with Bree. I knew sex didn't equal love, so how would I know if she loved me if she didn't tell me? And if she wasn't telling me, did that mean that she didn't love me? I was all twisted up and I had no one to talk to.
And the hell of it was, I knew I loved her–fiercely and with every part of my heart, even the broken parts, even the parts that felt unworthy and without value. And maybe those parts most of all.
"So," Travis went on, "can we call a truce? All's fair in love and war and all that? You win, you won the girl. Can't blame a guy for trying though, right? No hard feelings?" He held his hand out to me.
I looked at it. I trusted Travis about as far as I could throw him, but what was the point in making this some kind of ongoing war between us? He was right–I'd won. Bree was mine. With the thought alone, a fierce possessiveness roared through me. I reached out and shook his hand, still eyeing him distrustfully.
Travis rested his thumbs on his gun belt. "So I guess you already know that Bree's friends are in town–her hometown friends."
I frowned and pulled my head back slightly and gave myself away. Travis got an 'oh shit,' look on his face. "Shit, she didn't tell you?" he asked. He looked away and then back at me. "Well, I'm sure it's gotta be hard for her, I mean, here she is, she likes you and at some point, she's gotta go home, back to her real life. That's a tough position to be in."
Home? To her real life? What the hell was he talking about?
Travis studied me and sighed out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. "Shit man, you don't have some kind of delusion that she's going to stay here and work in a small town diner all her life, do you? Maybe come live in this little clapboard shack you call a house and have lots of babies that you'll have no way to support?" He laughed, but when I didn't, his smile drained away and a pitying look replaced it. "Oh hell, that's exactly what you hope, isn't it?"
Blood was roaring in my ears. I hadn't exactly pictured any of that, but the thought of her leaving at all had icy fear racing through my veins.
"Fuck. Listen Archer, when I said you won her, I just meant for the meantime, for a few warm nights, a couple dalliances in your truck. I mean, good for you, you deserve that, man. But shit, don't start fantasizing about more than that. She might tell you she'll stay–she'll probably even mean it for a little while. But a girl like Bree, she went to college, she wants a life eventually. She's here to get away temporarily, to heal a wound–and then she'll leave. And why wouldn't she? What do you have to really offer her? Bree's beautiful–there will always be a guy who wants her and can give her more." He shook his head. "What can you give her, Archer? Really?"
I was standing frozen in front of this asshole. I wasn't so stupid that I didn't see what he was doing. He was playing a card. But unfortunately for me, the card he was playing was based in truth. He had a winning hand and he knew it. That's what he had come to do–destroy me with the truth. To remind me that I was nothing. And maybe it was a good reminder.
I didn't even know if he wanted her anymore. He might not. But now it was about me not having her either. He was going to win, in one way or another. I saw it–I knew. I had seen that same look on another man's face once. I remembered what it meant.
He took another deep breath, looking slightly embarrassed, or maybe pretending to. He cleared his throat. "Anyway," he pointed to the piece of paper in my hand, "good luck with the permit. You shouldn't have to walk everywhere you go." He nodded at me. "Take care, Archer."
Then he turned and walked back up my driveway and out through the gate. I stood there for a long time, feeling small, imagining her gone, and trying to remember how to keep breathing.
CHAPTER 25
Bree
I drove over to Archer's and called his name when I walked in the gate. No answer, and so I walked down to his front door and knocked, calling his name again. Still no answer. The door was unlocked and so I went in and looked around. As always, it was neat and tidy, but there was no sign of him. He must be somewhere on his property, too far to hear me calling, or maybe he walked to town?
I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and wrote him a quick note about how my friends were in town and that I'd explain when I saw him. I told him where we were going to dinner and asked him to join us. I hoped he would. I hoped that coming to the diner had made him feel comfortable enough to come out again. I wanted to introduce him to my friends. I wanted him to be a part of every aspect of my life.
I drove back home and finished getting ready and then Natalie and Jordan and I drove into town to the local pool hall/pizza place for a very casual dinner.
We ordered a large pizza and then brought it over to a table next to one of the dartboards and started a game.
We were a half a pitcher of beer in when I looked up and Archer was at the door. The grin that spread over my face was instantaneous and I dropped the dart in my hand and ran to him, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him on his mouth.
He let out a breath that felt as if he'd been holding it all day. I leaned back, looking up into his face, seeing a tension there that I wasn't used to.
"You okay?" I asked.
He nodded, his face relaxing. I stepped away from him so that he could talk. You didn't tell me your friends were coming.
I didn't know actually until yesterday after I left your house. Then they flew in early. Archer, there's a person of interest in my dad's case. I talked to the lead detective yesterday, and he wants me to come in and look at a photo lineup. There could be an arrest, I finished, looking up into his eyes, emotion suddenly coming over me as I talked about the possibility "out loud."
Bree, that's great, he said. That's really great.
I nodded. I'll have to go home for a few days. Natalie and Jordan are driving home with me, but then I'll be back. I frowned again, thinking about how it'd feel to be back in Ohio. When I looked up at Archer, he was watching me closely, that tense look on his face again.
You could come with us. I smiled up at him.
His eyes softened for a minute, but then he breathed out. I don't think so, Bree. You… catch up with your friends.
"Hey, Bree, stop making us wait here! It's your turn!" Natalie called out.
I smiled and tugged on Archer's hand. "Come meet my friends," I said, then more softly, "They're going to love you."
Archer looked slightly dubious, but he put a small smile on and let me lead him to the table where our pizza was.
I introduced him to Natalie and Jordan and the guys shook hands, while Natalie tilted her head and said, "What the hell is in the water around here? Some sort of mineral that creates ridiculously hot guys? I'm moving."
I laughed and leaned in to my hot guy, breathing him in and smiling into his neck. Jordan's eyes darted away and his face blanched. God, I hated that it made him uncomfortable to see me with a guy now. Maybe we needed to talk a little more. I looked up at Archer and his eyes were narrowed on Jordan–he hadn't missed his reaction either. Of course not–Archer Hale never missed anything. Since I had met him, it had occurred to me that it would probably be amazing what we could all see and hear if we would just shut our mouths a little more, and stop trying to constantly hear our own voice.
We played darts and chatted and ate pizza for a little bit. Archer smiled when he should at Natalie's non-stop stories, but his silence was more pronounced than usual. I tried to draw him out, but he seemed to be having something internal going on that he wasn't sharing with me.
Natalie asked him questions, and I interpreted for him. He was sweet and answered everything she asked, but I could still tell he was a little off and I didn't know why. I'd have to ask him later though. At a bar in front of my friends wasn't the right time or place.
We ordered another pitcher of beer, and Archer had a glass and then excused himself to go to the restroom. As soon as he did, Jordan came up to me. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked. I nodded, thinking that we probably needed it. He had been shooting Archer looks all night and I was fed up with it.
He pulled me off to the side where we were away from Natalie over-hearing and took a deep breath. "Listen, Bree, I'm sorry for what I did back in Ohio. It was an as**ole move. I knew you were… fragile and dealing with a hell of a lot, and I took advantage of that. I'm not even going to lie and say I didn't. You'd know, anyway." He raked his hand through his dark blonde hair, leaving it sticking up, but in a charming way. "I know you don't think of me as anything more than a friend, and that's enough for me. Really, it is. That's what I came here to try to convey to you and I've been acting like an ass again. It's not easy seeing you with another guy… it never was. But I'll work on that. Your friendship means more to me than anything, and so does your happiness. That's all I wanted to tell you. I want you to be happy, and anything I can do–as a friend–that's what I want to do. Will you forgive me? Will you be a bridesmaid in my wedding when I find someone even better than you?"
I laughed out a small sound, almost a cry, and nodded my head. "Yes, Jordan. I forgive you. And you will find someone better than me. I'm… kinda high maintenance, and really cranky when I don't get my way."
He grinned. "You lie. But thank you. Buds?" He held out his hand.
I nodded, taking his hand and pulling him to me for a hug. "Yes," I whispered in his ear, "and stop giving my boyfriend evil glares. If you were paying more attention to anything else, you'd see the hot blonde girl eye licking you from the table next to us." I leaned back and winked.
Jordan laughed and glanced over at the table where the girl was sitting and then looked back at me. He cleared his throat and his expression sobered.
"What? You don't think she's hot?" I asked, pointedly not looking in her direction so she didn't know I was talking about her.
"Oh, she's hot," he said, "and your boyfriend is seriously pissed. He's looking at me like he wants to kill me right now."
I looked down. "He's still figuring that out," I said, feeling suddenly defensive of him. "He will though. He's just still working on a few of the basics."
They looked at me and I felt suddenly embarrassed for some reason. "Anyway," I went on, "I'll go tell him our plans and hopefully he'll agree to come with us." I got up and went to put on my shoes and coat.
"Okay," Natalie said. "So is this a jeans and t-shirt type of place, or should I go dressier?"
I laughed. "Definitely jeans and t-shirt."
"Think Travis will be there?" she asked me.
I groaned. "Oh guys, I have so much to catch you up on. This could take a while. I'll be back in a few, okay?"
"Okay!" Natalie sang, getting up. Jordan was rooting through his small suitcase for something.
"Okay," he said too, looking back.
I headed out, jumping in my car and turning toward Archer's road.
CHAPTER 24
Archer
I stood at my kitchen sink, drinking down a glass of water in big gulps. I had just gotten back from a run on the shore with the dogs. I wouldn't be able to do that for too much longer once the weather turned.
I stood there thinking about what I was going to do today, feeling a heaviness in my gut that I wasn't sure how to handle. I had felt the same way before my run, too, and thought that the exercise would clear my head. It hadn't.
I was restless, pure and simple. And it wasn't a physical restlessness, apparently. It was mental. When I had awoken that morning, the smell of Bree all around me in the tangled sheets, I had felt happy and content. But then when I realized she had gone, I got up and tried to figure out what to do with my day. There were any number of projects I could work on, but none of them interested me. I had a vague sense that it was a topic that I needed to give some serious consideration to. What are you going to do with your life, Archer? Bree had shaken things up for me–and at the moment, all I could feel was unease. I never expected anyone to come in and open up the world for me, but that's what she had done. And now I had possibilities that I didn't think I'd had before. But they all revolved around her. And that scared me. That scared the living hell out of me.
I heard a knock on my gate and set the glass down. Was Bree off early?
I walked outside my house toward the gate and spotted Travis walking down my driveway toward me.
I stood waiting for him to approach, wondering what the hell he wanted.
He put his hands up in a 'don't shoot me' mock pose, and I cocked my head to the side, waiting.
Travis took a folded paper out of his back pocket and when he got to where I was standing, handed it to me. I took it, but didn't open it.
"Application for a learner's permit," he said. "You'll just need to bring your birth certificate and proof of address with you. A water bill or whatever."
I raised my eyebrows, glancing down at the paper. What did he have up his sleeve now?
"I owe you an apology for what I did with the strip club thing. It was… immature and uncool. And I'm actually glad to see that you and Bree worked it out. I think she really likes you, man."
I wanted to ask him how he knew that–I knew she liked me, maybe more, but I longed to hear what she had told Travis about me, if anything. Of course, even if I'd been able to, it wouldn't be a good idea to ask him–he'd just mess with me, most likely. But I didn't know how to talk about all my feelings with Bree. I knew sex didn't equal love, so how would I know if she loved me if she didn't tell me? And if she wasn't telling me, did that mean that she didn't love me? I was all twisted up and I had no one to talk to.
And the hell of it was, I knew I loved her–fiercely and with every part of my heart, even the broken parts, even the parts that felt unworthy and without value. And maybe those parts most of all.
"So," Travis went on, "can we call a truce? All's fair in love and war and all that? You win, you won the girl. Can't blame a guy for trying though, right? No hard feelings?" He held his hand out to me.
I looked at it. I trusted Travis about as far as I could throw him, but what was the point in making this some kind of ongoing war between us? He was right–I'd won. Bree was mine. With the thought alone, a fierce possessiveness roared through me. I reached out and shook his hand, still eyeing him distrustfully.
Travis rested his thumbs on his gun belt. "So I guess you already know that Bree's friends are in town–her hometown friends."
I frowned and pulled my head back slightly and gave myself away. Travis got an 'oh shit,' look on his face. "Shit, she didn't tell you?" he asked. He looked away and then back at me. "Well, I'm sure it's gotta be hard for her, I mean, here she is, she likes you and at some point, she's gotta go home, back to her real life. That's a tough position to be in."
Home? To her real life? What the hell was he talking about?
Travis studied me and sighed out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. "Shit man, you don't have some kind of delusion that she's going to stay here and work in a small town diner all her life, do you? Maybe come live in this little clapboard shack you call a house and have lots of babies that you'll have no way to support?" He laughed, but when I didn't, his smile drained away and a pitying look replaced it. "Oh hell, that's exactly what you hope, isn't it?"
Blood was roaring in my ears. I hadn't exactly pictured any of that, but the thought of her leaving at all had icy fear racing through my veins.
"Fuck. Listen Archer, when I said you won her, I just meant for the meantime, for a few warm nights, a couple dalliances in your truck. I mean, good for you, you deserve that, man. But shit, don't start fantasizing about more than that. She might tell you she'll stay–she'll probably even mean it for a little while. But a girl like Bree, she went to college, she wants a life eventually. She's here to get away temporarily, to heal a wound–and then she'll leave. And why wouldn't she? What do you have to really offer her? Bree's beautiful–there will always be a guy who wants her and can give her more." He shook his head. "What can you give her, Archer? Really?"
I was standing frozen in front of this asshole. I wasn't so stupid that I didn't see what he was doing. He was playing a card. But unfortunately for me, the card he was playing was based in truth. He had a winning hand and he knew it. That's what he had come to do–destroy me with the truth. To remind me that I was nothing. And maybe it was a good reminder.
I didn't even know if he wanted her anymore. He might not. But now it was about me not having her either. He was going to win, in one way or another. I saw it–I knew. I had seen that same look on another man's face once. I remembered what it meant.
He took another deep breath, looking slightly embarrassed, or maybe pretending to. He cleared his throat. "Anyway," he pointed to the piece of paper in my hand, "good luck with the permit. You shouldn't have to walk everywhere you go." He nodded at me. "Take care, Archer."
Then he turned and walked back up my driveway and out through the gate. I stood there for a long time, feeling small, imagining her gone, and trying to remember how to keep breathing.
CHAPTER 25
Bree
I drove over to Archer's and called his name when I walked in the gate. No answer, and so I walked down to his front door and knocked, calling his name again. Still no answer. The door was unlocked and so I went in and looked around. As always, it was neat and tidy, but there was no sign of him. He must be somewhere on his property, too far to hear me calling, or maybe he walked to town?
I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and wrote him a quick note about how my friends were in town and that I'd explain when I saw him. I told him where we were going to dinner and asked him to join us. I hoped he would. I hoped that coming to the diner had made him feel comfortable enough to come out again. I wanted to introduce him to my friends. I wanted him to be a part of every aspect of my life.
I drove back home and finished getting ready and then Natalie and Jordan and I drove into town to the local pool hall/pizza place for a very casual dinner.
We ordered a large pizza and then brought it over to a table next to one of the dartboards and started a game.
We were a half a pitcher of beer in when I looked up and Archer was at the door. The grin that spread over my face was instantaneous and I dropped the dart in my hand and ran to him, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him on his mouth.
He let out a breath that felt as if he'd been holding it all day. I leaned back, looking up into his face, seeing a tension there that I wasn't used to.
"You okay?" I asked.
He nodded, his face relaxing. I stepped away from him so that he could talk. You didn't tell me your friends were coming.
I didn't know actually until yesterday after I left your house. Then they flew in early. Archer, there's a person of interest in my dad's case. I talked to the lead detective yesterday, and he wants me to come in and look at a photo lineup. There could be an arrest, I finished, looking up into his eyes, emotion suddenly coming over me as I talked about the possibility "out loud."
Bree, that's great, he said. That's really great.
I nodded. I'll have to go home for a few days. Natalie and Jordan are driving home with me, but then I'll be back. I frowned again, thinking about how it'd feel to be back in Ohio. When I looked up at Archer, he was watching me closely, that tense look on his face again.
You could come with us. I smiled up at him.
His eyes softened for a minute, but then he breathed out. I don't think so, Bree. You… catch up with your friends.
"Hey, Bree, stop making us wait here! It's your turn!" Natalie called out.
I smiled and tugged on Archer's hand. "Come meet my friends," I said, then more softly, "They're going to love you."
Archer looked slightly dubious, but he put a small smile on and let me lead him to the table where our pizza was.
I introduced him to Natalie and Jordan and the guys shook hands, while Natalie tilted her head and said, "What the hell is in the water around here? Some sort of mineral that creates ridiculously hot guys? I'm moving."
I laughed and leaned in to my hot guy, breathing him in and smiling into his neck. Jordan's eyes darted away and his face blanched. God, I hated that it made him uncomfortable to see me with a guy now. Maybe we needed to talk a little more. I looked up at Archer and his eyes were narrowed on Jordan–he hadn't missed his reaction either. Of course not–Archer Hale never missed anything. Since I had met him, it had occurred to me that it would probably be amazing what we could all see and hear if we would just shut our mouths a little more, and stop trying to constantly hear our own voice.
We played darts and chatted and ate pizza for a little bit. Archer smiled when he should at Natalie's non-stop stories, but his silence was more pronounced than usual. I tried to draw him out, but he seemed to be having something internal going on that he wasn't sharing with me.
Natalie asked him questions, and I interpreted for him. He was sweet and answered everything she asked, but I could still tell he was a little off and I didn't know why. I'd have to ask him later though. At a bar in front of my friends wasn't the right time or place.
We ordered another pitcher of beer, and Archer had a glass and then excused himself to go to the restroom. As soon as he did, Jordan came up to me. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked. I nodded, thinking that we probably needed it. He had been shooting Archer looks all night and I was fed up with it.
He pulled me off to the side where we were away from Natalie over-hearing and took a deep breath. "Listen, Bree, I'm sorry for what I did back in Ohio. It was an as**ole move. I knew you were… fragile and dealing with a hell of a lot, and I took advantage of that. I'm not even going to lie and say I didn't. You'd know, anyway." He raked his hand through his dark blonde hair, leaving it sticking up, but in a charming way. "I know you don't think of me as anything more than a friend, and that's enough for me. Really, it is. That's what I came here to try to convey to you and I've been acting like an ass again. It's not easy seeing you with another guy… it never was. But I'll work on that. Your friendship means more to me than anything, and so does your happiness. That's all I wanted to tell you. I want you to be happy, and anything I can do–as a friend–that's what I want to do. Will you forgive me? Will you be a bridesmaid in my wedding when I find someone even better than you?"
I laughed out a small sound, almost a cry, and nodded my head. "Yes, Jordan. I forgive you. And you will find someone better than me. I'm… kinda high maintenance, and really cranky when I don't get my way."
He grinned. "You lie. But thank you. Buds?" He held out his hand.
I nodded, taking his hand and pulling him to me for a hug. "Yes," I whispered in his ear, "and stop giving my boyfriend evil glares. If you were paying more attention to anything else, you'd see the hot blonde girl eye licking you from the table next to us." I leaned back and winked.
Jordan laughed and glanced over at the table where the girl was sitting and then looked back at me. He cleared his throat and his expression sobered.
"What? You don't think she's hot?" I asked, pointedly not looking in her direction so she didn't know I was talking about her.
"Oh, she's hot," he said, "and your boyfriend is seriously pissed. He's looking at me like he wants to kill me right now."
