At Peace
Page 114
“Yep,” Jessie answered and Mimi giggled.
“Great,” I muttered.
“Happened to me with Colt,” Feb told me. “Not everywhere I go but a few of his conquests come into the bar. I even spent time around him and Melanie when they were married.” She leaned into me. “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”
“I’m guessin’ she’s learned that,” Cheryl mumbled.
“We all have,” Jackie stated.
“I’m scared,” I blurted.
“Of course you are,” Feb said, folded her legs and leaned into me. “Remember you told me when you were worried about gettin’ Keira that dog,” she nodded to Mooch in her Mom’s lap, “how you had a dog and lost her and didn’t want to put Keira through that?”
“Yeah,” I answered.
“You’re doin’ it again, babe,” Feb told me, “protectin’ yourself against hurt. You lost Tim and Cal hasn’t made this easy on you, now you’re gun-shy. But, honey, he’s out buyin’ a dog bed. Ask yourself, he’s doin’ that, why are you so scared?”
“It hurt when he turned,” I whispered.
“He’ll hurt you again, men f**k up all the time. Tim golden the whole way through?” Feb asked.
“No,” I answered honestly.
“You fight?”
“Of course.”
“He piss you off?”
“Yeah.”
“He hurt you by doin’ stupid shit?”
“Not often but, yeah.”
“Cal’s a man, Violet. He’s gonna f**k up. You are too. Honey, you know how that is, you lived with it with Tim. You also know, what you had with Tim, it’s worth it and you gotta take the risk.”
“Why?” I asked.
“You don’t, what’re you teachin’ your daughters?” Cheryl, in an about face, joined our conversation. “To be scared, to wrap themselves in cotton, or to face life and fight for somethin’ good?”
“I thought you didn’t like Joe,” I said to her.
She threw up her hand. “I forgot about the dog bed.”
Jessie snorted but Dee and Mimi laughed straight out.
I reached out, put my hands to baby Jack and asked my question to Feb with my eyes. She answered by turning Jack to me, I took him and cuddled him close. He grabbed onto my blouse and hair and his face went to my neck, his wet, soft baby lips hitting me there, his tongue working at the chain of a necklace I was wearing.
“Like his Dad,” Feb mumbled, watching Jack, “he loves necklaces.”
“Colt loves necklaces?” Mimi asked.
“This I gotta hear,” Jessie leaned forward.
“Shit,” Feb whispered.
“Are we done with Vi’s thing?” Dee asked.
“I don’t know, Vi, are we?” Jackie looked at me.
I bent my head and kissed Jack’s shoulder.
We were done.
I knew. I knew even before they asked me. Joe was right. I knew when I crawled into my bed with him after the girls. Hell, I knew the first time he kissed me.
And now I knew because he was buying a dog bed for the dog he bought for my daughter.
And coming home with beer.
Then I whispered against little Jack, “Yeah.”
“Good, so, what’s this about Colt and your necklaces?” Jessie demanded to know and I looked at her.
But Mimi spoke to me. “Feb doesn’t kiss and tell, it sucks.”
“I know. I told her about Jimbo and –” Jessie started.
“Don’t repeat it!” Feb cried suddenly, hand up.
“What? It isn’t weird,” Jessie defended.
“Yes, Jessie, it is,” Feb returned.
“It’s just suckin’ my toes. Does Cal suck your toes?” Jessie asked me.
I tried not to let my lip curl as I answered, “Um… no.”
“Feels good,” Jessie mumbled.
“Gross,” Mimi was mumbling too.
“Do you have any beer?” Cheryl asked, standing up.
“No, Joe’s picking some up on his way home.”
Cheryl stared at me a second then she grinned and I realized what I said and how it sounded.
It sounded like it was.
Shit.
I rolled my eyes at her then said, “I have wine.”
“Time for wine,” Cheryl decreed, moving toward the kitchen.
“It isn’t even four in the afternoon,” Mimi told her.
“What? There’re rules?” Cheryl asked.
“Yeah,” Mimi answered.
“Fuck rules, I’m gettin’ wine,” Cheryl retorted. “Anyone want one?”
“Yeah,” Jessie said.
“Sure,” Dee called.
“Shit,” Mimi mumbled, “all right.”
“Small one for me,” Feb told her.
“I’m in,” Jackie said, I looked at her and she smiled at me and when she did I let that soft warmth invade my belly and for the first time didn’t fight it.
Feb was lucky, not because of Colt (who was awesome) or Jack (who was adorable) but because she had a great Mom.
I handed Jack off to Feb, got up and called to Cheryl, “I’ll get the glasses,” then I announced to the women, “I got another problem.”
“Seriously?” Dee asked.
I went to the kitchen, pulled open my cupboards with the wine glasses and then looked over the bar into the living room to see they were all looking my way.
Then I said, “I need help exactin’ retribution against Tina Blackstone.”
Without even asking what she did, Feb stated, “I’m in.”
“Me too,” that was Jessie (not surprising).
“Absolutely,” Dee added.
“This’ll be fun!” Mimi clapped her hands.
“I’m all over that,” Cheryl said from beside me.
“Oh shit,” Jackie muttered and I laughed.
My friends laughed with me.
* * * * *
I sat on Mike’s stoop and watched the Chevy pull into the drive.
I didn’t move as he parked in the drive not the garage, got out and, eyes on me, he walked to me.
I didn’t speak and he didn’t either as he sat down on the stoop close to me, our h*ps pressed together as were the sides of our thighs. But his hands didn’t come to me. He leaned forward with his elbows to his legs.
I leaned forward too.
I looked to my left and whispered, “Mike –”
“Cal visited me at the Station.”
“Great,” I muttered.
“Happened to me with Colt,” Feb told me. “Not everywhere I go but a few of his conquests come into the bar. I even spent time around him and Melanie when they were married.” She leaned into me. “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”
“I’m guessin’ she’s learned that,” Cheryl mumbled.
“We all have,” Jackie stated.
“I’m scared,” I blurted.
“Of course you are,” Feb said, folded her legs and leaned into me. “Remember you told me when you were worried about gettin’ Keira that dog,” she nodded to Mooch in her Mom’s lap, “how you had a dog and lost her and didn’t want to put Keira through that?”
“Yeah,” I answered.
“You’re doin’ it again, babe,” Feb told me, “protectin’ yourself against hurt. You lost Tim and Cal hasn’t made this easy on you, now you’re gun-shy. But, honey, he’s out buyin’ a dog bed. Ask yourself, he’s doin’ that, why are you so scared?”
“It hurt when he turned,” I whispered.
“He’ll hurt you again, men f**k up all the time. Tim golden the whole way through?” Feb asked.
“No,” I answered honestly.
“You fight?”
“Of course.”
“He piss you off?”
“Yeah.”
“He hurt you by doin’ stupid shit?”
“Not often but, yeah.”
“Cal’s a man, Violet. He’s gonna f**k up. You are too. Honey, you know how that is, you lived with it with Tim. You also know, what you had with Tim, it’s worth it and you gotta take the risk.”
“Why?” I asked.
“You don’t, what’re you teachin’ your daughters?” Cheryl, in an about face, joined our conversation. “To be scared, to wrap themselves in cotton, or to face life and fight for somethin’ good?”
“I thought you didn’t like Joe,” I said to her.
She threw up her hand. “I forgot about the dog bed.”
Jessie snorted but Dee and Mimi laughed straight out.
I reached out, put my hands to baby Jack and asked my question to Feb with my eyes. She answered by turning Jack to me, I took him and cuddled him close. He grabbed onto my blouse and hair and his face went to my neck, his wet, soft baby lips hitting me there, his tongue working at the chain of a necklace I was wearing.
“Like his Dad,” Feb mumbled, watching Jack, “he loves necklaces.”
“Colt loves necklaces?” Mimi asked.
“This I gotta hear,” Jessie leaned forward.
“Shit,” Feb whispered.
“Are we done with Vi’s thing?” Dee asked.
“I don’t know, Vi, are we?” Jackie looked at me.
I bent my head and kissed Jack’s shoulder.
We were done.
I knew. I knew even before they asked me. Joe was right. I knew when I crawled into my bed with him after the girls. Hell, I knew the first time he kissed me.
And now I knew because he was buying a dog bed for the dog he bought for my daughter.
And coming home with beer.
Then I whispered against little Jack, “Yeah.”
“Good, so, what’s this about Colt and your necklaces?” Jessie demanded to know and I looked at her.
But Mimi spoke to me. “Feb doesn’t kiss and tell, it sucks.”
“I know. I told her about Jimbo and –” Jessie started.
“Don’t repeat it!” Feb cried suddenly, hand up.
“What? It isn’t weird,” Jessie defended.
“Yes, Jessie, it is,” Feb returned.
“It’s just suckin’ my toes. Does Cal suck your toes?” Jessie asked me.
I tried not to let my lip curl as I answered, “Um… no.”
“Feels good,” Jessie mumbled.
“Gross,” Mimi was mumbling too.
“Do you have any beer?” Cheryl asked, standing up.
“No, Joe’s picking some up on his way home.”
Cheryl stared at me a second then she grinned and I realized what I said and how it sounded.
It sounded like it was.
Shit.
I rolled my eyes at her then said, “I have wine.”
“Time for wine,” Cheryl decreed, moving toward the kitchen.
“It isn’t even four in the afternoon,” Mimi told her.
“What? There’re rules?” Cheryl asked.
“Yeah,” Mimi answered.
“Fuck rules, I’m gettin’ wine,” Cheryl retorted. “Anyone want one?”
“Yeah,” Jessie said.
“Sure,” Dee called.
“Shit,” Mimi mumbled, “all right.”
“Small one for me,” Feb told her.
“I’m in,” Jackie said, I looked at her and she smiled at me and when she did I let that soft warmth invade my belly and for the first time didn’t fight it.
Feb was lucky, not because of Colt (who was awesome) or Jack (who was adorable) but because she had a great Mom.
I handed Jack off to Feb, got up and called to Cheryl, “I’ll get the glasses,” then I announced to the women, “I got another problem.”
“Seriously?” Dee asked.
I went to the kitchen, pulled open my cupboards with the wine glasses and then looked over the bar into the living room to see they were all looking my way.
Then I said, “I need help exactin’ retribution against Tina Blackstone.”
Without even asking what she did, Feb stated, “I’m in.”
“Me too,” that was Jessie (not surprising).
“Absolutely,” Dee added.
“This’ll be fun!” Mimi clapped her hands.
“I’m all over that,” Cheryl said from beside me.
“Oh shit,” Jackie muttered and I laughed.
My friends laughed with me.
* * * * *
I sat on Mike’s stoop and watched the Chevy pull into the drive.
I didn’t move as he parked in the drive not the garage, got out and, eyes on me, he walked to me.
I didn’t speak and he didn’t either as he sat down on the stoop close to me, our h*ps pressed together as were the sides of our thighs. But his hands didn’t come to me. He leaned forward with his elbows to his legs.
I leaned forward too.
I looked to my left and whispered, “Mike –”
“Cal visited me at the Station.”
