Beautiful Broken Promises
Page 17
My inner cop wanted to question her further; I still needed to know why they were taken. Why Raegan and Braden? Why my daughter? But I realized that getting Raegan to talk had to happen naturally or she clammed up.
Raegan continued, “There were some really nice cookbooks, but we were never able to cook. Food was just brought to us. There was also a Massage Techniques book. I liked that one… a lot.”
Something in her tone piqued my attention. “A lot?”
“It had pictures.”
I was still puzzled by her odd reaction to a massage therapy book with pictures, and then it hit me. A woman trapped, kept away from adult interaction, looking at a book that taught how to massage people.
“Rae, are you telling me that you liked looking at the bodies? Male bodies?” I asked in a rough voice.
“Yours is much better than any of those pictures.” The sound of desire and wanting in her voice could not be mistaken as her fingers began heating my skin.
The sound of the kids’ voices down the hall reminded me that pursuing anything physical with Raegan would be inappropriate at this very moment. But f**k if I didn’t want to turn and see that yearning in her eyes. With a strangled groan, I scooted myself off the bed.
“Now I need a cold shower,” I grumbled and made my way toward the bathroom, not even looking back. I swore I heard her giggle as I retreated.
That girl was a temptress. I couldn’t tell if she was actually trying to lure me in or if she was always this candid. We had never spoken enough before now for me to know. Either way, I was going to f**king need an ice cold shower.
- TEN -
RAEGAN –
I felt them hovering over my sleeping body and their hands scooping me up out of my slumber. I tried to make sense of my odd surroundings. What had happened to my warm sheets? Why were my feet dangling in the air? A pressure in my ribs became overwhelmingly painful.
A hand pushed into my mouth, while more hands quickly secured a piece of cloth around my eyes. The darkened bedroom was entirely masked and the feeling was suffocating. I distinctly felt a hand slide tightly around my stomach and I jolted, finally realizing that I wasn’t in my bed anymore. This wasn’t right.
I sucked in a lungful of air so I could let it go in an ear-splitting scream, but then I felt a soft touch brush down the side of my face.
“Rae,” I heard a deep voice whisper. “Rae, you’re having a nightmare.”
I jerked away, but then a warm body slid in behind mine and I recognized that my body was still safely in bed. I wasn’t being taken. They weren’t back for us. It was just a dream. I had to repeat all of these phrases over and over until my brain believed them to be true.
Lane’s body wrapped around me from behind, every inch of my back molded to his front. Our legs entwined, allowing us to be as close as possible. His hand threaded through my hair and my rapid heartbeats began to slow down.
“Sleep, Rae, I’m right here. I’ll never let anyone hurt you again. Sleep baby, I’ve got you now,” he whispered.
A protest was on my lips. I couldn’t help but think about the children lying next to us, but his warm, comforting arms squelched any thoughts of leaving. So I slept, knowing my body was safe. It was my heart I was beginning to worry about.
~~~~~~~
We had been in the New York apartment for two weeks and we still hadn’t spoken about where we were going from here. Or even if we would go together. I knew that neither Lane nor I wanted to stay in this apartment, but it was convenient. And I didn’t think that either of us wanted to face the real world just yet.
A week into our stay, Lane finally started working again. He logged in remotely from the computer and made phone calls a couple of hours a day. He informed me that his boss, Jace, would be okay with him taking off as much time as he needed, but he hated the idea of not doing his part.
Apparently, Jace had really helped him out and they seemed to have a mutual respect for each other. I assumed Lane valued Jace for being a good husband to his friend, Audrey. I couldn’t explain my jealousy over a girl I had never met, but it made me feel a smidge better to hear that she was married. Quite happily married, at that. I had to admit though that I still wondered about Lane and Audrey, because they spoke on the phone more than any “friends” I had ever been around.
I was beginning to think that I had been the only one feeling the pull between the two of us—that maybe it was just all in my head. Every day it seemed to get a little bit stronger for me. A smile here. A brief touch there. But Lane never made any advances nor did he say anything, so I constantly questioned what I was feeling.
Could it just be that I hadn’t had any attention for the past four years and now even the smallest amount felt like the greatest thing in the world? Could I be imagining the sensations that shot straight between my thighs when he winked at me from across the living room? Or the thrill I felt when I saw that smile he gave me every time we woke up early in the morning.
That was another thing. He was now sleeping in the bed with us every night. Kate wouldn’t have it any other way, and I couldn’t blame him for falling for those pleading blue eyes. But he also still crawled in behind me late at night, claiming I was having bad dreams. Some nights they were excruciating and I craved his comfort, but there were other nights when I woke and didn’t remember having any nightmares. Regardless, before the sun came up the next morning, he would always move back to his side and it wreaked havoc on my heart to see him sprawled out on his back, so close yet so far. The morning sun would dance across his blonde hair and scream for me to run my fingers through it and beg for him to come back to my side of the bed.
We never spoke of our late-night cuddle sessions. It was as if they were a secret, even to us—something we only indulged in when the nighttime could conceal our desires. I thought it was all in my imagination until last night.
Lane and I had been in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner and the kids were playing in Kate’s old nursery. They certainly had no qualms about that room or playing with toys that were meant for children much younger than they were. It was all new and that’s what they cared about.
After I’d put the last plate on the wooden drying rack, I reached for the dishtowel and wiped my hands dry. Lane was washing down the countertops, so I leaned up against the sink to watch his muscles move underneath his cotton shirt. It was a hobby I had picked up lately. He’d gotten his stitches taken out a few days ago and had already started trying to work out again.
Now he tortured me daily with extremely slow pull-ups from a bar that extended across the hallway from one wall to the next. He also made me suffer every time I had to watch him do a zillion sit-ups on the living room floor. And when he did his push-ups and was forced to only use one arm when his shoulder hurt, I wanted to lick all of the sweat off of his heated skin. He never looked at me during his workouts, but I knew he felt my eyes on him, which only heated my skin more.
He probably thought I was the biggest creeper ever, but I just couldn’t make myself look anywhere else. I couldn’t apologize either; my body had been on fire for two weeks now. Soon the flames would either kill me or I would have to find a way to quench them.
With my hip pressed into the countertop, I watched Lane toss his towel into the laundry room. He turned and looked down at me, and I observed something flicker intensely in his hazel eyes. Before I could blink, he leaned in and slammed his lips against mine.
The approach had been quick and shocking, but the kiss was slow and smooth. He didn’t try and force his tongue in or to open my mouth any further, but he did coax me to move against his lips and follow his rhythm. The fire inside of me was a full-on inferno at that point. Just as I started to reach out for his head, he pulled back, breathing harshly against my lips.
“Tell me I didn’t just f**k up,” he pleaded. “Tell me you wanted me to do that as much as I needed to.”
Why were we talking? The flames inside of me were increasing in intensity and burning me from the inside out. I was a full-on forest fire. I grabbed his neck and pulled him toward me forcefully. I had never been the dominant one in my relationships. But when a girl has been starving for affection as long as I have, it looks like she’ll do things she never thought herself capable of.
Lane groaned into my mouth when our lips touched again. I gave him back the control but let my hands stay in the hair on the back of his head. The height difference between us was vast, but he leaned forward enough for me to hold on tight. His tongue dashed into my mouth without invitation and I tangled it with mine. His hands latched onto my h*ps and I pressed further into his body.
God, I craved the feeling of his bare skin against mine.
We stayed in the kitchen for who knows how long, just exploring each other’s mouths, and I prayed he would take me right there. His hard body against mine and nothing in between.
Hours. Minutes. Or maybe it had only been mere seconds later when he pulled back and placed three slow, little kisses on the corners of my lips. Then he turned away and marched out of the kitchen without saying a word.
I would have thought the kisses had been drummed up by my overactive imagination at that point, but I had the swollen lips to prove it. I had felt his body pressed up against mine, and I never even knew a feeling like the one he created within me was possible. I wanted more.
LANE -
After breakfast, I settled Kate and Braden on the couch with an extra-thick fleece blanket tucked around them and then finally made my way down the hall. I’d put some comical penguin movie on the television for them, although I could have turned on the news and they would have zoned out just the same. The TV was such a new concept for them that maybe I shouldn’t have introduced it—maybe I should have taken advantage of the rare opportunity.
With a shrug, I decided to let them just be little kids who liked to watch cartoons. Plus, a steaming hot shower was calling my name. I needed the kind that would leave me tender and blazing-red afterward, yet calmer. I needed the reassurance that I could do this. I’d wondered for so long if I would even be able to see her again and hadn’t allowed myself to think about whether or not I could do this dad thing. Doubts were raining heavily on me, and I needed to clear them before I saw Kate’s sweet little eyes looking up at me all day—counting on me to be the strong one.
Just like my dad said Raegan had actually been a tremendous help, with the transition. Whenever I was feeling like taking on this parenting gig solo was a heavy, suffocating fog and I wouldn’t be any good at it, she would stroke my arm knowingly. With just that touch, she would reassure me that I was very much capable.
Just to lump more onto my already full plate, I couldn’t get the thought of Raegan’s lips on mine out of my head. Last night, I had felt her eyes burning into the skin on my back. I’d often caught her staring at me with raw, na**d lust, and I knew I could only take it for so much longer. Add that to the fact that she had a knockout chest and toned legs, and she had me at the end of my rope.
I’ve been trying to hold back because we have kids to think about but fuck, if she kept looking at me like she did last night, I would snap. I had only tasted her mouth, but now that I had sampled the pure honey, I wanted the whole jar.
I pushed the bedroom door open and jolted to a stop when I saw Raegan sitting on the edge of the bed… completely topless. Possibly completely na**d but my gray towel was wrapped around her little waist. She stared out the window as she brushed her dripping wet hair, the teasing drops sliding down her freshly bathed body. I knew I should have looked away. Every ounce of propriety my mother had taught me was reprimanding me for not being a gentleman and averting my gaze.
Screw the shower, my body was already heating up on its own. The curves of her figure and the porcelain glow of her skin was the stuff angels were made of. My index finger twitched to glide down the line of her back and over the tips of her perfect breasts. This girl was all f**king woman.
I heard a small gasp and then she said, “Lane, I’m so sorry.” I silently groaned when she pulled the towel up to cover herself.
Her words finally permeated my stupefied brain and a small smile cracked my lips. “You’re apologizing to me?” Wasn’t I the one who was intruding on her?
“This is your bedroom. I should have gotten ready in the guest bath. I’m sorry.”
I smiled at the blush on her cheeks. I seemed my little temptress hadn’t woken up yet. The girl who had been seducing me with her eyes for the past two weeks was feeling shy about me seeing her breasts?
My prying gaze still hadn’t left her chest, even though it was now covered, much to my regret. I wondered what my face looked like right then. All I wanted to do was place my finger in the space between her tits and gently tug down that oppressive towel.
I forced my feet to begin their reluctant trek toward the bathroom. Luckily, I had to walk right past her on my way, which allowed my eyes a few more moments to try and recreate what I’d witnessed when I first walked in.
“Lane...” she breathed out harshly. I immediately looked at her face and spotted the flush creeping up her cheeks again. “Don’t act like you haven’t seen hundreds of these before.” She gestured with a sweeping motion across her chest. My feet immediately halted their forward motion, and I stood towering over her small frame seated on the bed.
“Hundreds? Give me a little more credit than that. I haven’t been with hundreds of women, babe.” I smirked when her breath caught at my endearment. “Let’s go ahead and make this real f**king clear right now. No matter how many I have seen, I have never seen these.” I couldn’t stop my finger when it touched the dip in her throat and trailed lazily down her heated skin. Seriously, it had a mind of its own. “And these are phenomenal.”
Raegan continued, “There were some really nice cookbooks, but we were never able to cook. Food was just brought to us. There was also a Massage Techniques book. I liked that one… a lot.”
Something in her tone piqued my attention. “A lot?”
“It had pictures.”
I was still puzzled by her odd reaction to a massage therapy book with pictures, and then it hit me. A woman trapped, kept away from adult interaction, looking at a book that taught how to massage people.
“Rae, are you telling me that you liked looking at the bodies? Male bodies?” I asked in a rough voice.
“Yours is much better than any of those pictures.” The sound of desire and wanting in her voice could not be mistaken as her fingers began heating my skin.
The sound of the kids’ voices down the hall reminded me that pursuing anything physical with Raegan would be inappropriate at this very moment. But f**k if I didn’t want to turn and see that yearning in her eyes. With a strangled groan, I scooted myself off the bed.
“Now I need a cold shower,” I grumbled and made my way toward the bathroom, not even looking back. I swore I heard her giggle as I retreated.
That girl was a temptress. I couldn’t tell if she was actually trying to lure me in or if she was always this candid. We had never spoken enough before now for me to know. Either way, I was going to f**king need an ice cold shower.
- TEN -
RAEGAN –
I felt them hovering over my sleeping body and their hands scooping me up out of my slumber. I tried to make sense of my odd surroundings. What had happened to my warm sheets? Why were my feet dangling in the air? A pressure in my ribs became overwhelmingly painful.
A hand pushed into my mouth, while more hands quickly secured a piece of cloth around my eyes. The darkened bedroom was entirely masked and the feeling was suffocating. I distinctly felt a hand slide tightly around my stomach and I jolted, finally realizing that I wasn’t in my bed anymore. This wasn’t right.
I sucked in a lungful of air so I could let it go in an ear-splitting scream, but then I felt a soft touch brush down the side of my face.
“Rae,” I heard a deep voice whisper. “Rae, you’re having a nightmare.”
I jerked away, but then a warm body slid in behind mine and I recognized that my body was still safely in bed. I wasn’t being taken. They weren’t back for us. It was just a dream. I had to repeat all of these phrases over and over until my brain believed them to be true.
Lane’s body wrapped around me from behind, every inch of my back molded to his front. Our legs entwined, allowing us to be as close as possible. His hand threaded through my hair and my rapid heartbeats began to slow down.
“Sleep, Rae, I’m right here. I’ll never let anyone hurt you again. Sleep baby, I’ve got you now,” he whispered.
A protest was on my lips. I couldn’t help but think about the children lying next to us, but his warm, comforting arms squelched any thoughts of leaving. So I slept, knowing my body was safe. It was my heart I was beginning to worry about.
~~~~~~~
We had been in the New York apartment for two weeks and we still hadn’t spoken about where we were going from here. Or even if we would go together. I knew that neither Lane nor I wanted to stay in this apartment, but it was convenient. And I didn’t think that either of us wanted to face the real world just yet.
A week into our stay, Lane finally started working again. He logged in remotely from the computer and made phone calls a couple of hours a day. He informed me that his boss, Jace, would be okay with him taking off as much time as he needed, but he hated the idea of not doing his part.
Apparently, Jace had really helped him out and they seemed to have a mutual respect for each other. I assumed Lane valued Jace for being a good husband to his friend, Audrey. I couldn’t explain my jealousy over a girl I had never met, but it made me feel a smidge better to hear that she was married. Quite happily married, at that. I had to admit though that I still wondered about Lane and Audrey, because they spoke on the phone more than any “friends” I had ever been around.
I was beginning to think that I had been the only one feeling the pull between the two of us—that maybe it was just all in my head. Every day it seemed to get a little bit stronger for me. A smile here. A brief touch there. But Lane never made any advances nor did he say anything, so I constantly questioned what I was feeling.
Could it just be that I hadn’t had any attention for the past four years and now even the smallest amount felt like the greatest thing in the world? Could I be imagining the sensations that shot straight between my thighs when he winked at me from across the living room? Or the thrill I felt when I saw that smile he gave me every time we woke up early in the morning.
That was another thing. He was now sleeping in the bed with us every night. Kate wouldn’t have it any other way, and I couldn’t blame him for falling for those pleading blue eyes. But he also still crawled in behind me late at night, claiming I was having bad dreams. Some nights they were excruciating and I craved his comfort, but there were other nights when I woke and didn’t remember having any nightmares. Regardless, before the sun came up the next morning, he would always move back to his side and it wreaked havoc on my heart to see him sprawled out on his back, so close yet so far. The morning sun would dance across his blonde hair and scream for me to run my fingers through it and beg for him to come back to my side of the bed.
We never spoke of our late-night cuddle sessions. It was as if they were a secret, even to us—something we only indulged in when the nighttime could conceal our desires. I thought it was all in my imagination until last night.
Lane and I had been in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner and the kids were playing in Kate’s old nursery. They certainly had no qualms about that room or playing with toys that were meant for children much younger than they were. It was all new and that’s what they cared about.
After I’d put the last plate on the wooden drying rack, I reached for the dishtowel and wiped my hands dry. Lane was washing down the countertops, so I leaned up against the sink to watch his muscles move underneath his cotton shirt. It was a hobby I had picked up lately. He’d gotten his stitches taken out a few days ago and had already started trying to work out again.
Now he tortured me daily with extremely slow pull-ups from a bar that extended across the hallway from one wall to the next. He also made me suffer every time I had to watch him do a zillion sit-ups on the living room floor. And when he did his push-ups and was forced to only use one arm when his shoulder hurt, I wanted to lick all of the sweat off of his heated skin. He never looked at me during his workouts, but I knew he felt my eyes on him, which only heated my skin more.
He probably thought I was the biggest creeper ever, but I just couldn’t make myself look anywhere else. I couldn’t apologize either; my body had been on fire for two weeks now. Soon the flames would either kill me or I would have to find a way to quench them.
With my hip pressed into the countertop, I watched Lane toss his towel into the laundry room. He turned and looked down at me, and I observed something flicker intensely in his hazel eyes. Before I could blink, he leaned in and slammed his lips against mine.
The approach had been quick and shocking, but the kiss was slow and smooth. He didn’t try and force his tongue in or to open my mouth any further, but he did coax me to move against his lips and follow his rhythm. The fire inside of me was a full-on inferno at that point. Just as I started to reach out for his head, he pulled back, breathing harshly against my lips.
“Tell me I didn’t just f**k up,” he pleaded. “Tell me you wanted me to do that as much as I needed to.”
Why were we talking? The flames inside of me were increasing in intensity and burning me from the inside out. I was a full-on forest fire. I grabbed his neck and pulled him toward me forcefully. I had never been the dominant one in my relationships. But when a girl has been starving for affection as long as I have, it looks like she’ll do things she never thought herself capable of.
Lane groaned into my mouth when our lips touched again. I gave him back the control but let my hands stay in the hair on the back of his head. The height difference between us was vast, but he leaned forward enough for me to hold on tight. His tongue dashed into my mouth without invitation and I tangled it with mine. His hands latched onto my h*ps and I pressed further into his body.
God, I craved the feeling of his bare skin against mine.
We stayed in the kitchen for who knows how long, just exploring each other’s mouths, and I prayed he would take me right there. His hard body against mine and nothing in between.
Hours. Minutes. Or maybe it had only been mere seconds later when he pulled back and placed three slow, little kisses on the corners of my lips. Then he turned away and marched out of the kitchen without saying a word.
I would have thought the kisses had been drummed up by my overactive imagination at that point, but I had the swollen lips to prove it. I had felt his body pressed up against mine, and I never even knew a feeling like the one he created within me was possible. I wanted more.
LANE -
After breakfast, I settled Kate and Braden on the couch with an extra-thick fleece blanket tucked around them and then finally made my way down the hall. I’d put some comical penguin movie on the television for them, although I could have turned on the news and they would have zoned out just the same. The TV was such a new concept for them that maybe I shouldn’t have introduced it—maybe I should have taken advantage of the rare opportunity.
With a shrug, I decided to let them just be little kids who liked to watch cartoons. Plus, a steaming hot shower was calling my name. I needed the kind that would leave me tender and blazing-red afterward, yet calmer. I needed the reassurance that I could do this. I’d wondered for so long if I would even be able to see her again and hadn’t allowed myself to think about whether or not I could do this dad thing. Doubts were raining heavily on me, and I needed to clear them before I saw Kate’s sweet little eyes looking up at me all day—counting on me to be the strong one.
Just like my dad said Raegan had actually been a tremendous help, with the transition. Whenever I was feeling like taking on this parenting gig solo was a heavy, suffocating fog and I wouldn’t be any good at it, she would stroke my arm knowingly. With just that touch, she would reassure me that I was very much capable.
Just to lump more onto my already full plate, I couldn’t get the thought of Raegan’s lips on mine out of my head. Last night, I had felt her eyes burning into the skin on my back. I’d often caught her staring at me with raw, na**d lust, and I knew I could only take it for so much longer. Add that to the fact that she had a knockout chest and toned legs, and she had me at the end of my rope.
I’ve been trying to hold back because we have kids to think about but fuck, if she kept looking at me like she did last night, I would snap. I had only tasted her mouth, but now that I had sampled the pure honey, I wanted the whole jar.
I pushed the bedroom door open and jolted to a stop when I saw Raegan sitting on the edge of the bed… completely topless. Possibly completely na**d but my gray towel was wrapped around her little waist. She stared out the window as she brushed her dripping wet hair, the teasing drops sliding down her freshly bathed body. I knew I should have looked away. Every ounce of propriety my mother had taught me was reprimanding me for not being a gentleman and averting my gaze.
Screw the shower, my body was already heating up on its own. The curves of her figure and the porcelain glow of her skin was the stuff angels were made of. My index finger twitched to glide down the line of her back and over the tips of her perfect breasts. This girl was all f**king woman.
I heard a small gasp and then she said, “Lane, I’m so sorry.” I silently groaned when she pulled the towel up to cover herself.
Her words finally permeated my stupefied brain and a small smile cracked my lips. “You’re apologizing to me?” Wasn’t I the one who was intruding on her?
“This is your bedroom. I should have gotten ready in the guest bath. I’m sorry.”
I smiled at the blush on her cheeks. I seemed my little temptress hadn’t woken up yet. The girl who had been seducing me with her eyes for the past two weeks was feeling shy about me seeing her breasts?
My prying gaze still hadn’t left her chest, even though it was now covered, much to my regret. I wondered what my face looked like right then. All I wanted to do was place my finger in the space between her tits and gently tug down that oppressive towel.
I forced my feet to begin their reluctant trek toward the bathroom. Luckily, I had to walk right past her on my way, which allowed my eyes a few more moments to try and recreate what I’d witnessed when I first walked in.
“Lane...” she breathed out harshly. I immediately looked at her face and spotted the flush creeping up her cheeks again. “Don’t act like you haven’t seen hundreds of these before.” She gestured with a sweeping motion across her chest. My feet immediately halted their forward motion, and I stood towering over her small frame seated on the bed.
“Hundreds? Give me a little more credit than that. I haven’t been with hundreds of women, babe.” I smirked when her breath caught at my endearment. “Let’s go ahead and make this real f**king clear right now. No matter how many I have seen, I have never seen these.” I couldn’t stop my finger when it touched the dip in her throat and trailed lazily down her heated skin. Seriously, it had a mind of its own. “And these are phenomenal.”
