Beautiful Broken Promises
Page 19
In the reflection of the mirror I watched his face shift back toward my ear, but before he could get a word out, his back shot ramrod straight. The flow of the water splashed over his rigid shoulders and I shrieked. The water had lost all of its heat from Lane’s blazing-hot shower earlier, and the pounding spray was now straight ice.
I shoved out of the shower door and felt instantly better as the warmth of the bathroom kissed my frozen skin. Lane wasn’t far behind me as he lifted me by the waist and sat me on the bathroom sink.
The glacial water must not have discouraged him because the look he gave me just then could have melted an iceberg. I was glad that the brief interruption hadn’t made him come to his senses and try to stop this again. I spread my legs to make room for his wide girth and he promptly filled the void. I looked up at him as he guided himself into me without any words.
He paused when he was fully immersed, and I couldn’t have found my breath even if it was served to me on a silver platter. It had been way too long for me and he was large. Larger than normal, I think. The pain was a good pain, but I still needed a second to adjust. Thankfully, in that moment, he was tuned in to what I needed.
He dipped my head back with his hands and ran his lips over my ear, down my jaw, and then lightly licked my lips until they parted briefly. Just as I was about to squirm beneath him, he moved a fraction of an inch.
His mouth was back at my ear, and his deep, rough voice lit all of my nerves on fire. “Everything about you, I like. Everything about you is a turn-on. So yes, you little temptress, I liked watching you while I brought you to the edge.”
His speed had picked up at that point, but I hadn’t noticed because his words were just what I needed to relax into the movement. Each drag was heaven, each push was delicious, and every little rough noise that came from his throat was intoxicating.
“Bringing you to the edge is enjoyable but tipping you over made me crazy. I need to see that face you made again. That complete abandon caused by my touches.”
“Lane, your voice alone can push me over the edge,” I moaned. His rhythm was something of my dreams. A guy this big should have been clumsy and frantic, but he was smooth and confident with each drive of his hips.
He didn’t say anything else. Maybe he was too busy concentrating on his own pleasure, or maybe he didn’t want his words to bring me to my cl**ax… he wanted his body to do that job. I reached up and gripped my fingers through his hair and worked my h*ps with his rhythm.
The increased friction set us both off in a frenzy to find release and we didn’t last much longer. I crossed the finish line first with my silent cry into the bathroom walls. I didn’t care that my head was thrown backward or the absolute rawness of my emotions was clear as day on my face. I was glad that I had enough control to not scream every curse word I have ever known, but I certainly felt like it—the energy that ran through my entire body was like pure electricity.
When I came back around, Lane was staring at me with a strange look on his face. I ran my hands along his collarbone and up the back of his head through his golden hair. I pressed my chest up against his and felt him swell inside of me. His thrusts became jerky and I held him tighter to me, waiting for him to let go. I enjoyed every second of his movements against my highly sensitive flesh.
With a groan, he pulled away and pumped his release onto my stomach, my thighs, and some even made it up to my chest. His eyes flared at the mess he had just left on me. When I saw his lip quirk and a dimple appear on his cheek, I leaned forward and licked it.
He grabbed my face and began devouring my mouth with his own. My fingernails dug into his warm, smooth back as I tried to hold his body against mine.
Finally, we gasped for air and he pulled away from me. My legs had cramped up, so I decided to stay on the sink while I let the blood flow back into each extremity. I leaned back until my head hit the mirror behind me and I waited for my heart rate to slow down. Wow, my doctor should have prescribed this for my blood pressure.
“Shit, you’re good for my ego, babe. If you keep lying there like I just gave you the world, I swear I’m two seconds away from showing you the moon as well.”
I laughed softly at his words. “You can’t even imagine how long it’s been for me,” I whispered.
“I hope it’s been a while… considering…” he replied with a rough undertone.
“Yes, thank God for that, but it goes way further than that. The last time I had sex was when I got pregnant with Braden.” His mouth dropped open and I chuckled.
When he seemed to have recovered from his shock, he said, “Well, now I don’t feel so mighty anymore. I was basically popping your cherry again. Anything would have made you blissfully happy at that point.”
“Trust me, I might not be that experienced, but I can honestly say I’ve never had anything like that,” I huffed, still trying to catch my breath. I wanted to hop down, but I still couldn’t move my legs. His hands reached around my waist and I felt him turn the water on behind me. It was back off moments later and I jolted when I felt a cold cloth touch the skin on my stomach.
“Sorry, I used all the hot water but let me clean you up,” he whispered. Lane moved the washcloth lightly over my skin and as each area was clean to his satisfaction, he kissed it tenderly.
“Why did you…?” I gestured at my thighs, stomach, and chest, hoping he understood.
“I know for damn sure you aren’t on birth control, so unless you want Braden and Kate to have a baby brother or sister right now, coming inside you probably wouldn’t have been the best idea.” He winked at me and grabbed a towel off the bar.
I immediately began shaking my head, surprised I hadn’t thought of that myself. “I should get on the pill.”
“Already planning round two, are we?” His intoxicating words slid over me as if they were his very hands. I watched as he slipped the towel over every inch of his body; I couldn’t make myself look anywhere else.
“I don’t want any more children,” I whispered while observing his movements.
His hands froze and he swung his eyes in my direction. “Really?” He sounded surprised and almost confused why I would say something like that. I finally hopped down from the sink and grabbed my own towel from earlier.
“Yeah. At least, I’m pretty sure. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything by not having another. Braden and…” I paused because I didn’t know how to approach this considerately. “Braden is enough.” I almost physically grimaced from my own words, because my heart wanted to say ‘Braden and Kate were enough.’ But what right did I have to claim his child?
“You can say it, Rae. I think Kate is as much yours as she is mine, at this point,” he stated, looking directly at me.
“I just… I don’t want to insult Ash or tarnish her memory.” I looked down at my hands as they fumbled with the towel, which I wrapped tightly under my arms, hoping to find comfort from its imitation of a hug. His feet appeared in front of me and I felt his fingers pushing my chin up.
“I think Ash would be grateful that, in her absence, Kate has a wonderful mother figure. I’m battling it too. I wish Ash could be here, but… she’s just not. Kate loves you and I don’t plan on taking that away from her.”
There were so many conflicting lines in that statement, but I just didn’t have the strength to break it all down and examine his meaning. He leaned down and kissed me until all of the thoughts seeped away.
When he pulled back, he looked at me sternly and asked, “Can I ask where Braden’s dad is? I’m not jumping into some guy’s territory, am I?”
“What? No! Lane, what kind of person do you think I am?” I shrieked in shock, but my tone was still light enough that he knew I wasn’t really pissed.
“Okay, okay!” he said with his hands raised in surrender. “I just didn’t feel like kicking anyone’s ass… well, not today anyway,” he laughed. I swatted at his chest and then my hand didn’t leave the warm, tempting skin. He grabbed it and kissed it lightly while looking down at me.
“It was the typical immature-guy response. He bailed at the first positive sign on that little white stick. Couldn’t get enough of me one day and the next day—gone.”
“Damn, now I am going to have to kick someone’s ass,” he grumbled. This time the words were joking, but his tone was absolutely not.
“Save it for someone who’s worth it, trust me.”
- TWELVE -
LANE -
After Raegan and I finally succumbed to the desires we had been feeling since almost the first day we met, we escaped the house for the rest of the day. I needed to get out because if we found ourselves at any moment with privacy, I would have jumped her again. As it was, I had to pry myself away from her because all I wanted to do was keep kissing her… well, among other things.
Since it was pretty warm out, we took the kids to the Brooklyn Children’s Museum, and the look on Kate and Braden’s faces was worth the hour it took us to walk there. I definitely wasn’t accustomed to New York life anymore and having to get around everywhere by your own two feet. We could have taken the subway, but I had this feeling the last time we took it that Raegan was having a hard time. I didn’t know if it was the screeching of the train on the tracks or the people bumping into us at every turn, but I realized then it was best to keep us all above ground.
I loved watching the differing personalities of Kate and Braden shine through. They were always attached at the hip and did everything with one other, but at the museum we really got to see them individually. Kate was all about socializing and talking to the other kids, and I was already cringing at the idea of fighting the boys off my front porch.
Braden, on the other hand, was mesmerized—absolutely captivated—by the greenhouse. He dug right in and covered his hands with dirt, locating all of the worms within the vicinity. Then he convinced Kate to race leaf boats in the pond, and when an employee told him he could actually plant his own flower into the dirt, he looked as if she had just told him Christmas would now be every day.
It made me want to take him back to Texas and plant a garden with him in my backyard. But that kind of thinking was the kind that would get me in trouble. That kind of thinking led to questions that I don’t think Rae and I were ready to approach. We were already walking on thin ice, just trying to test out these new parenting waters, and neither of us wanted to step on the others’ toes.
That night Kate and Braden barely made it through dinner before they crashed hard on the couch. Raegan laughed as she looked down at their snoring forms. We really had worn them out today. I checked that the alarm was set and then grabbed Rae’s hand, pulling her down the hall.
“Lane…” she tried to protest, but there was no conviction in her words. My hands were on her waist before we even made it into the bedroom. My mouth immediately zoned in on her neck and she tilted her head to let me have access.
I pushed her back onto the bed and immediately crawled above her. She giggled at what I assumed was my eagerness, but I couldn’t deny that right now ‘eager’ was my middle name. This girl was smoking hot and I’d had to watch her strut around in front of me all day, now knowing what she had been concealing under those clothes for the past few weeks.
“You sure are excited to go another round, but I think I remember you being the one to warn me off this morning,” she laughed.
“What?” I tried to sound innocent. “This is just me trying to get to know you better.” I actually had no idea what was coming over me. Raegan had me wagging my tail when she walked in the room and panting like a dog when she even so much as grazed past me.
She moved her mouth and I pulled her lower lip in between my teeth. Her groan confirmed my earlier suspicion that this would be my go-to move to turn her on. With each transfer of our lips, she managed to push her bottom one into my mouth, inviting me to suck and nip on the fleshy area.
I kissed down her neck. Slowly, I moved between her legs and worked my way down her body. Her pants were easy to pull off her toned legs, but I realized if I removed any more clothes this would go a lot faster than I had originally planned.
So I situated myself between her thighs and kissed the tops of them. I rested my cheek against the silky smooth skin and stared up at her. She had her eyes closed, but when she realized I had stopped, she looked down at me curiously.
“What happened when you talked to Mrs. Flores at the park that day?” I asked gently. Her body locked up, but I kissed her legs again until she relaxed again. “You know I don’t blame you anymore, right?” She nodded slowly and I continued, “I was an idiot, but I really do want to know what happened. It kills me to not know, Rae.”
“You want to talk about this now?”
“I don’t see why not. We actually have some time alone,” I reasoned.
“And you’re just going to stay… down there?” she asked, eyeing my precarious position.
“Hey, you gave me the invitation. Don’t take all my fun away now. I quite like it down here.” I couldn’t help myself so I kissed her lazily through her cotton panties and she arched her back with a groan. I pulled back and laid my head down on her legs again. That wasn’t going to get her to talk—not what she needed to talk about right then, at least.
“Tease,” she grumbled. With a deep breath, she situated herself underneath me so she could talk while looking at me. “I used to take Kate and Braden down to the park, just so we could get some fresh air and I swear they liked hearing the kids play. I know they were just babies and couldn’t have actually understood what was going on, but they would always perk up when they listened to the sounds. It was a really peaceful time of the day.”
I shoved out of the shower door and felt instantly better as the warmth of the bathroom kissed my frozen skin. Lane wasn’t far behind me as he lifted me by the waist and sat me on the bathroom sink.
The glacial water must not have discouraged him because the look he gave me just then could have melted an iceberg. I was glad that the brief interruption hadn’t made him come to his senses and try to stop this again. I spread my legs to make room for his wide girth and he promptly filled the void. I looked up at him as he guided himself into me without any words.
He paused when he was fully immersed, and I couldn’t have found my breath even if it was served to me on a silver platter. It had been way too long for me and he was large. Larger than normal, I think. The pain was a good pain, but I still needed a second to adjust. Thankfully, in that moment, he was tuned in to what I needed.
He dipped my head back with his hands and ran his lips over my ear, down my jaw, and then lightly licked my lips until they parted briefly. Just as I was about to squirm beneath him, he moved a fraction of an inch.
His mouth was back at my ear, and his deep, rough voice lit all of my nerves on fire. “Everything about you, I like. Everything about you is a turn-on. So yes, you little temptress, I liked watching you while I brought you to the edge.”
His speed had picked up at that point, but I hadn’t noticed because his words were just what I needed to relax into the movement. Each drag was heaven, each push was delicious, and every little rough noise that came from his throat was intoxicating.
“Bringing you to the edge is enjoyable but tipping you over made me crazy. I need to see that face you made again. That complete abandon caused by my touches.”
“Lane, your voice alone can push me over the edge,” I moaned. His rhythm was something of my dreams. A guy this big should have been clumsy and frantic, but he was smooth and confident with each drive of his hips.
He didn’t say anything else. Maybe he was too busy concentrating on his own pleasure, or maybe he didn’t want his words to bring me to my cl**ax… he wanted his body to do that job. I reached up and gripped my fingers through his hair and worked my h*ps with his rhythm.
The increased friction set us both off in a frenzy to find release and we didn’t last much longer. I crossed the finish line first with my silent cry into the bathroom walls. I didn’t care that my head was thrown backward or the absolute rawness of my emotions was clear as day on my face. I was glad that I had enough control to not scream every curse word I have ever known, but I certainly felt like it—the energy that ran through my entire body was like pure electricity.
When I came back around, Lane was staring at me with a strange look on his face. I ran my hands along his collarbone and up the back of his head through his golden hair. I pressed my chest up against his and felt him swell inside of me. His thrusts became jerky and I held him tighter to me, waiting for him to let go. I enjoyed every second of his movements against my highly sensitive flesh.
With a groan, he pulled away and pumped his release onto my stomach, my thighs, and some even made it up to my chest. His eyes flared at the mess he had just left on me. When I saw his lip quirk and a dimple appear on his cheek, I leaned forward and licked it.
He grabbed my face and began devouring my mouth with his own. My fingernails dug into his warm, smooth back as I tried to hold his body against mine.
Finally, we gasped for air and he pulled away from me. My legs had cramped up, so I decided to stay on the sink while I let the blood flow back into each extremity. I leaned back until my head hit the mirror behind me and I waited for my heart rate to slow down. Wow, my doctor should have prescribed this for my blood pressure.
“Shit, you’re good for my ego, babe. If you keep lying there like I just gave you the world, I swear I’m two seconds away from showing you the moon as well.”
I laughed softly at his words. “You can’t even imagine how long it’s been for me,” I whispered.
“I hope it’s been a while… considering…” he replied with a rough undertone.
“Yes, thank God for that, but it goes way further than that. The last time I had sex was when I got pregnant with Braden.” His mouth dropped open and I chuckled.
When he seemed to have recovered from his shock, he said, “Well, now I don’t feel so mighty anymore. I was basically popping your cherry again. Anything would have made you blissfully happy at that point.”
“Trust me, I might not be that experienced, but I can honestly say I’ve never had anything like that,” I huffed, still trying to catch my breath. I wanted to hop down, but I still couldn’t move my legs. His hands reached around my waist and I felt him turn the water on behind me. It was back off moments later and I jolted when I felt a cold cloth touch the skin on my stomach.
“Sorry, I used all the hot water but let me clean you up,” he whispered. Lane moved the washcloth lightly over my skin and as each area was clean to his satisfaction, he kissed it tenderly.
“Why did you…?” I gestured at my thighs, stomach, and chest, hoping he understood.
“I know for damn sure you aren’t on birth control, so unless you want Braden and Kate to have a baby brother or sister right now, coming inside you probably wouldn’t have been the best idea.” He winked at me and grabbed a towel off the bar.
I immediately began shaking my head, surprised I hadn’t thought of that myself. “I should get on the pill.”
“Already planning round two, are we?” His intoxicating words slid over me as if they were his very hands. I watched as he slipped the towel over every inch of his body; I couldn’t make myself look anywhere else.
“I don’t want any more children,” I whispered while observing his movements.
His hands froze and he swung his eyes in my direction. “Really?” He sounded surprised and almost confused why I would say something like that. I finally hopped down from the sink and grabbed my own towel from earlier.
“Yeah. At least, I’m pretty sure. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything by not having another. Braden and…” I paused because I didn’t know how to approach this considerately. “Braden is enough.” I almost physically grimaced from my own words, because my heart wanted to say ‘Braden and Kate were enough.’ But what right did I have to claim his child?
“You can say it, Rae. I think Kate is as much yours as she is mine, at this point,” he stated, looking directly at me.
“I just… I don’t want to insult Ash or tarnish her memory.” I looked down at my hands as they fumbled with the towel, which I wrapped tightly under my arms, hoping to find comfort from its imitation of a hug. His feet appeared in front of me and I felt his fingers pushing my chin up.
“I think Ash would be grateful that, in her absence, Kate has a wonderful mother figure. I’m battling it too. I wish Ash could be here, but… she’s just not. Kate loves you and I don’t plan on taking that away from her.”
There were so many conflicting lines in that statement, but I just didn’t have the strength to break it all down and examine his meaning. He leaned down and kissed me until all of the thoughts seeped away.
When he pulled back, he looked at me sternly and asked, “Can I ask where Braden’s dad is? I’m not jumping into some guy’s territory, am I?”
“What? No! Lane, what kind of person do you think I am?” I shrieked in shock, but my tone was still light enough that he knew I wasn’t really pissed.
“Okay, okay!” he said with his hands raised in surrender. “I just didn’t feel like kicking anyone’s ass… well, not today anyway,” he laughed. I swatted at his chest and then my hand didn’t leave the warm, tempting skin. He grabbed it and kissed it lightly while looking down at me.
“It was the typical immature-guy response. He bailed at the first positive sign on that little white stick. Couldn’t get enough of me one day and the next day—gone.”
“Damn, now I am going to have to kick someone’s ass,” he grumbled. This time the words were joking, but his tone was absolutely not.
“Save it for someone who’s worth it, trust me.”
- TWELVE -
LANE -
After Raegan and I finally succumbed to the desires we had been feeling since almost the first day we met, we escaped the house for the rest of the day. I needed to get out because if we found ourselves at any moment with privacy, I would have jumped her again. As it was, I had to pry myself away from her because all I wanted to do was keep kissing her… well, among other things.
Since it was pretty warm out, we took the kids to the Brooklyn Children’s Museum, and the look on Kate and Braden’s faces was worth the hour it took us to walk there. I definitely wasn’t accustomed to New York life anymore and having to get around everywhere by your own two feet. We could have taken the subway, but I had this feeling the last time we took it that Raegan was having a hard time. I didn’t know if it was the screeching of the train on the tracks or the people bumping into us at every turn, but I realized then it was best to keep us all above ground.
I loved watching the differing personalities of Kate and Braden shine through. They were always attached at the hip and did everything with one other, but at the museum we really got to see them individually. Kate was all about socializing and talking to the other kids, and I was already cringing at the idea of fighting the boys off my front porch.
Braden, on the other hand, was mesmerized—absolutely captivated—by the greenhouse. He dug right in and covered his hands with dirt, locating all of the worms within the vicinity. Then he convinced Kate to race leaf boats in the pond, and when an employee told him he could actually plant his own flower into the dirt, he looked as if she had just told him Christmas would now be every day.
It made me want to take him back to Texas and plant a garden with him in my backyard. But that kind of thinking was the kind that would get me in trouble. That kind of thinking led to questions that I don’t think Rae and I were ready to approach. We were already walking on thin ice, just trying to test out these new parenting waters, and neither of us wanted to step on the others’ toes.
That night Kate and Braden barely made it through dinner before they crashed hard on the couch. Raegan laughed as she looked down at their snoring forms. We really had worn them out today. I checked that the alarm was set and then grabbed Rae’s hand, pulling her down the hall.
“Lane…” she tried to protest, but there was no conviction in her words. My hands were on her waist before we even made it into the bedroom. My mouth immediately zoned in on her neck and she tilted her head to let me have access.
I pushed her back onto the bed and immediately crawled above her. She giggled at what I assumed was my eagerness, but I couldn’t deny that right now ‘eager’ was my middle name. This girl was smoking hot and I’d had to watch her strut around in front of me all day, now knowing what she had been concealing under those clothes for the past few weeks.
“You sure are excited to go another round, but I think I remember you being the one to warn me off this morning,” she laughed.
“What?” I tried to sound innocent. “This is just me trying to get to know you better.” I actually had no idea what was coming over me. Raegan had me wagging my tail when she walked in the room and panting like a dog when she even so much as grazed past me.
She moved her mouth and I pulled her lower lip in between my teeth. Her groan confirmed my earlier suspicion that this would be my go-to move to turn her on. With each transfer of our lips, she managed to push her bottom one into my mouth, inviting me to suck and nip on the fleshy area.
I kissed down her neck. Slowly, I moved between her legs and worked my way down her body. Her pants were easy to pull off her toned legs, but I realized if I removed any more clothes this would go a lot faster than I had originally planned.
So I situated myself between her thighs and kissed the tops of them. I rested my cheek against the silky smooth skin and stared up at her. She had her eyes closed, but when she realized I had stopped, she looked down at me curiously.
“What happened when you talked to Mrs. Flores at the park that day?” I asked gently. Her body locked up, but I kissed her legs again until she relaxed again. “You know I don’t blame you anymore, right?” She nodded slowly and I continued, “I was an idiot, but I really do want to know what happened. It kills me to not know, Rae.”
“You want to talk about this now?”
“I don’t see why not. We actually have some time alone,” I reasoned.
“And you’re just going to stay… down there?” she asked, eyeing my precarious position.
“Hey, you gave me the invitation. Don’t take all my fun away now. I quite like it down here.” I couldn’t help myself so I kissed her lazily through her cotton panties and she arched her back with a groan. I pulled back and laid my head down on her legs again. That wasn’t going to get her to talk—not what she needed to talk about right then, at least.
“Tease,” she grumbled. With a deep breath, she situated herself underneath me so she could talk while looking at me. “I used to take Kate and Braden down to the park, just so we could get some fresh air and I swear they liked hearing the kids play. I know they were just babies and couldn’t have actually understood what was going on, but they would always perk up when they listened to the sounds. It was a really peaceful time of the day.”
