Beautiful Broken Promises
Page 30
“He wants me. That’s what’s so hot about this. They want him, but yet he only wants me.” God, I was craving him right then.
In my periphery, I noticed the waitress had returned with our shots, but mostly my eyes were glued to Lane, watching as he tried to dodge and escape the girls who were clamoring for his attention. With extreme discomfort on his face, he finally braved looking out at me past all the blonde hair. At first he gave me a desperate face, as if silently telling me he didn't want their attention. Then, his entire demeanor changed. The lust in my eyes must have been obvious—hell, it was practically written across my entire body.
His eyes narrowed slightly and he sat up a bit straighter on his stool. The movement made his body appear even larger, and his biceps noticeably flexed under the sleeves of his shirt. He was absolutely delicious and he was looking right at me. I felt my ni**les harden under my thin shirt, and I should have looked away from him because I couldn't walk around like that. But I couldn’t force myself to look anywhere else. He was too intoxicating and I was too horny.
His hand came up to where I could see through the bodies and he crooked his finger back and forth at me. I shook my head coyly at him, just to egg him on. He cocked an eyebrow and motioned for me to get over there. Now.
I grabbed a shot glass and threw it back. It definitely wasn’t another shot of ‘Blue Balls.’ This was straight vodka and I hadn’t been expecting that. I sucked in air through my teeth and gave myself a moment to stabilize. I was going straight into the lion’s den; the liquid encouragement was absolutely necessary.
My feet moved before my brain did. My body was on autopilot as I rounded the pool table, maneuvering my way toward Lane. His eyes were glued and the girls around him had finally turned to see why they had lost his attention. I couldn’t wait to break it to them that they never had it.
I made it to the groupie party and Lane parted the way for me with his strong arms. When I didn't move to step in, he reached out and grabbed me. I willingly moved to stand between his legs and looked up in to his hazel eyes. Even just looking at his face, you would be able to tell that Lane was in perfect shape. Each cheekbone was chiseled, and I loved to run my lips across his strong jaw line.
“Were you and the girls over there laughing at me? I’m obviously really uncomfortable right now,” he said, loud enough for everyone around us to hear. Two of the girls huffed and walked away. The first one decided to take her chances and stick around.
“At first,” I responded demurely.
“And now…” he started, and then he ever so subtly ran the back of his hand across one of my hardened nipples. I closed my eyes at the agonizingly amazing feeling of his stimulation. “You’re turned on?”
Because he stated it as a question, I nodded. With the alcohol giving me a bigger voice than I would normally have, I said, “She wants you and she’s working damn hard to get what she wants. But what she doesn't understand is that you want me. That. Is. Sexy.” My hand cupped his jaw and then moved into his hair.
A rumble shook his chest as he moved his face closer to mine. He looked into my eyes—through my eyes—he looked into me, and I saw a change in him. Something was happening between us. Something that there wouldn’t be any coming back from. If I could bottle up that look forever, I would only take it out when I needed the feeling of being wanted in the most devoted way a man could want a woman. The way Lane looked at me proved the feelings he spoke out loud to me when we were alone in our bed every night.
“Not in a bar,” I swore I heard him mumble.
“What?” My voice was raspy and breathless.
“Nothing. It’s just that I really need to take you home now.”
My drunken Lane-fog was painfully blown away when I heard the blonde’s voice directly behind me. “Are you serious?”
“Gemma, why are you still here? Have I shown you any interest?” he questioned through clenched teeth.
I ran my hand up his thighs in a comforting gesture. Damn her for ruining our perfect moment. I didn’t care if we were in a bar. We could have been in a barn, for all I cared. I wanted to know what was on his mind just then when he’d looked at me as if he wanted to burn the image of my face into his memory.
“When are we talking about exactly?” Gemma asked. “Are we talking about the time you were buried so deep—”
“Stop!” he yelled.
I’m not sure why he bothered at that point, because it was pretty clear where she had been going with that. And while the idea of girls lusting over my man was a turn-on, actually hearing the play-by-play of what they obviously once shared seemed to have the opposite effect on my libido.
I turned, and even though I had no intention of leaving, Lane moved quickly to wrap his arms securely around my shoulders. He was still seated on his stool, but he had scooted further to the edge.
“Don’t.” The words brushed past my ear in a soft growl.
“I didn’t plan on it.”
“We had one night, Gemma. If you haven’t noticed, I decided not to come back for more. Hell, I gave you a fake name!”
Gemma looked down at me from her four-inch heels. I took in her wild, blonde hair that should have looked like a rumpled mess but seemed to work perfectly, and her tight perky body that had clearly never birthed children. She seemed exactly like the type of girl Lane should be with. But he’d obviously had her and he didn't stick around for more. She sized me up slowly, from my flat shoes to my large breasts, before stopping at my face.
“You’d rather leave with her? You’d rather sleep with her instead of me?” The ugliness in her voice bled through her entire demeanor, and the beautiful blonde standing in front of us didn’t appear so alluring to me anymore. Maybe Lane had seen that side of her as well. “I know you, Lane.”
“The hell you do,” he interrupted.
She smiled through her bright red lips. “I do. You like pretty faces. Trust me, you’d be distracted all night by that god-awful scar.”
Oh, hell no. There went any remaining warm and fuzzy buzz I had hoped to keep. Damn her again. I didn’t even get a chance to react because the instant the word ‘scar’ left her blood red lips, it seemed as if the bar erupted.
I was suddenly moved to the side with a gentle but demanding force. Lane’s large figure stood so fast he was practically a large blur blowing past me. He came to a stop directly in front of Gemma and leered down at her.
“What the hell did you just say?” he growled through his teeth. His fists clenched tightly to his sides until they were a pale white color. I put my hand on his back, but it only caused a tremor to rock through his tense muscles. “Don’t you ever talk about her like that. I love that scar.”
Gemma stood with her mouth agape. “I… I… I…” she stuttered, clearly shocked at his forceful reaction.
Jace moved in quickly and placed his hand on Lane’s chest. I could tell he was subtly trying to move him back, but Lane wasn’t having that. Audrey dipped under Jace’s arm and squeezed in between the two big guys.
“Why am I having to ask you to leave… again?” Audrey tried to sound nonchalant, but I could hear the anger that she was trying to withhold.
Gemma glanced once again at Lane’s face and wisely decided to step away, although I really doubted she felt any remorse for her words. It was that thought that brought the catty side out in me. I couldn’t help it—I swore I wasn’t usually like that.
“Hate to break it you, but he’s been sleeping with me every night for a month. So while you get off in your bed alone over one measly night you had with him, I get the real thing, night after night,” I announced. She sneered at me and continued to move away. “And let me tell you, he’s never distracted.”
After I watched her move through the crowded bar and then out the double doors, I finally let myself turn and face Lane. Jace pounded his back and moved away, while Audrey looked at him with worried eyes. When Jace tugged her along with him, she shot me a nervous look in her retreat. I smiled at her, hoping to reassure her that I could handle this. After all, he was mine to handle.
Lane’s hands were still balled up tightly and his eyes were squeezed into thin little slits. A crinkle marred the corners of his beautiful eyes and his plump lips were pursed tightly. I reached up and gently ran my fingers over the signs of stress streaking across his face. I didn't say a word—I wanted him to speak first. I continued to run my hands across his jaw, over his cheeks, and into his hair. Over and over. Finally, I felt the tension begin to subside.
His first words surprised me. “I’m so sorry.”
“For what?” I grabbed a hold of his shirt and jerked to show my bewilderment.
“I shouldn't have been with girls like her. Why the f**k was I wasting my time with bitches like that?” He seemed to be talking to himself, but I decided to answer anyway.
“So you could save the real stuff for me?” I laughed. It was meant to be a joke to break the heavy tension, something to bring him out of his mood.
He finally looked down at me and grabbed a hold of my face. The brown of his eyes glowed into an outer green ring so bright that it was almost hypnotizing.
When I felt his fingers brush lightly across my scar, I closed my eyes. Why did everything have to go back to that horrid thing? “She tried to make this ugly.” His voice caught, and I could hear the real pain in his words.
“Well, it kind of is.”
“Stop.”
“I just want to forget that thing is even there.”
“I don’t.” He kissed three times down the length of it. “This scar is everything. It’s everything to me. It brought my daughter back to me. It brought Braden into my life. It brought you. It encompasses everything I love about you. Your strength, your determination, your stubbornness. Please, don’t let one of my mistakes make you feel any less, because I just wouldn’t be able to stand it. And if, after all that you still feel less than beautiful, well then… I’ll just have to keep finding ways to convince you otherwise.”
It was coming—I could feel it in my bones. The moment that would forever change us. The one that would eternally alter the way I looked at the world around me. If God forbid we ever parted ways, I would forever chase this moment. I wanted to brand everything about it deep into my skin. The clinking glasses. The hoots of excitement over a game of pool. Our friends laughing and smiling. But most of all, the look in Lane’s eyes when he finally realized that his daughter wasn't the only girl that owned his heart.
My hands slid under his arms and around to his strong backside, so he could hold me even closer. “Everything you love about me?”
“Is that the only part you heard?” He smiled.
I shook off his words. “I heard it all. But…”
His head dipped down and he rested his face next to mine. I felt his warm breaths near my ear and before he spoke, an exciting electric energy blasted through me. “Not in a bar,” he murmured.
“In a bar,” I argued. “Don’t break the moment.”
We stayed huddled together, not wanting to move even an inch away from one another. “It’s not supposed to happen in a place like this. It should be somewhere romantic. Like our bed, so I can slide in you while I whisper softly in your ear.”
“That sounds… amazing.” I wished my words weren’t so breathy. To distract him from his hesitation and myself from my lusty desires, I grabbed the back of his head and forced our lips to meet in a hungry duel. He growled past my lips and pulled me onto his lap up on the barstool. I immediately felt his desire for me under my thighs.
“Really?” I glanced down at his lap.
“As long as you’re in the same room, that’s just how it’s gonna be.”
I continued seizing his mouth with my own again. His plump lips surrounded mine, and I never wanted to be kissed any other way ever again.
He pulled back and panted as he tried to catch his breath. “Damn you, woman. You never let me set the pace and do things when I want to. You attack everything, right in the moment.”
Once again, these didn't sound like bad things to me so I smirked up at him. “You love that about me.”
“Fine!” he huffed. He tried to appear annoyed, but I could see the smile in his eyes that he loved this. “I love you. I can’t believe you’re making me tell you this for the first time in a damn bar, but I love you!”
“God, you’re even hotter when you’re flustered.” I smiled from ear to ear as my heart floated high above us.
“Raegan…” he growled.
“I love you… so much,” I whispered. “I know you didn’t expect to get me when you came for Kate, but you did. You are the reason I have been able to adjust back to real life so easily. During what should have been the most confusing time in my life, I found I could trust in you and I’ll love you forever for giving that to me. Thank you for being a marvelous dad to Kate and loving her the way you do. And thank you for taking exceptional care of Braden.”
“I love Braden, too.”
“You don’t have to say that,” I whispered. I knew that a relationship between a man and another man’s child would take time.
“I’m not just saying that. I love that little guy. The second he stood up to me at the police station to protect Kate, I loved him. ”
My eyes welled with tears because I’d never imagined I would find someone who could even come close to loving Braden as much as I did. I had always wanted a strong male figure in his life, but after he was born I had just accepted that I would have to play both roles for him. Lane smiled at me and swiped his thumb under my eyes.
In my periphery, I noticed the waitress had returned with our shots, but mostly my eyes were glued to Lane, watching as he tried to dodge and escape the girls who were clamoring for his attention. With extreme discomfort on his face, he finally braved looking out at me past all the blonde hair. At first he gave me a desperate face, as if silently telling me he didn't want their attention. Then, his entire demeanor changed. The lust in my eyes must have been obvious—hell, it was practically written across my entire body.
His eyes narrowed slightly and he sat up a bit straighter on his stool. The movement made his body appear even larger, and his biceps noticeably flexed under the sleeves of his shirt. He was absolutely delicious and he was looking right at me. I felt my ni**les harden under my thin shirt, and I should have looked away from him because I couldn't walk around like that. But I couldn’t force myself to look anywhere else. He was too intoxicating and I was too horny.
His hand came up to where I could see through the bodies and he crooked his finger back and forth at me. I shook my head coyly at him, just to egg him on. He cocked an eyebrow and motioned for me to get over there. Now.
I grabbed a shot glass and threw it back. It definitely wasn’t another shot of ‘Blue Balls.’ This was straight vodka and I hadn’t been expecting that. I sucked in air through my teeth and gave myself a moment to stabilize. I was going straight into the lion’s den; the liquid encouragement was absolutely necessary.
My feet moved before my brain did. My body was on autopilot as I rounded the pool table, maneuvering my way toward Lane. His eyes were glued and the girls around him had finally turned to see why they had lost his attention. I couldn’t wait to break it to them that they never had it.
I made it to the groupie party and Lane parted the way for me with his strong arms. When I didn't move to step in, he reached out and grabbed me. I willingly moved to stand between his legs and looked up in to his hazel eyes. Even just looking at his face, you would be able to tell that Lane was in perfect shape. Each cheekbone was chiseled, and I loved to run my lips across his strong jaw line.
“Were you and the girls over there laughing at me? I’m obviously really uncomfortable right now,” he said, loud enough for everyone around us to hear. Two of the girls huffed and walked away. The first one decided to take her chances and stick around.
“At first,” I responded demurely.
“And now…” he started, and then he ever so subtly ran the back of his hand across one of my hardened nipples. I closed my eyes at the agonizingly amazing feeling of his stimulation. “You’re turned on?”
Because he stated it as a question, I nodded. With the alcohol giving me a bigger voice than I would normally have, I said, “She wants you and she’s working damn hard to get what she wants. But what she doesn't understand is that you want me. That. Is. Sexy.” My hand cupped his jaw and then moved into his hair.
A rumble shook his chest as he moved his face closer to mine. He looked into my eyes—through my eyes—he looked into me, and I saw a change in him. Something was happening between us. Something that there wouldn’t be any coming back from. If I could bottle up that look forever, I would only take it out when I needed the feeling of being wanted in the most devoted way a man could want a woman. The way Lane looked at me proved the feelings he spoke out loud to me when we were alone in our bed every night.
“Not in a bar,” I swore I heard him mumble.
“What?” My voice was raspy and breathless.
“Nothing. It’s just that I really need to take you home now.”
My drunken Lane-fog was painfully blown away when I heard the blonde’s voice directly behind me. “Are you serious?”
“Gemma, why are you still here? Have I shown you any interest?” he questioned through clenched teeth.
I ran my hand up his thighs in a comforting gesture. Damn her for ruining our perfect moment. I didn’t care if we were in a bar. We could have been in a barn, for all I cared. I wanted to know what was on his mind just then when he’d looked at me as if he wanted to burn the image of my face into his memory.
“When are we talking about exactly?” Gemma asked. “Are we talking about the time you were buried so deep—”
“Stop!” he yelled.
I’m not sure why he bothered at that point, because it was pretty clear where she had been going with that. And while the idea of girls lusting over my man was a turn-on, actually hearing the play-by-play of what they obviously once shared seemed to have the opposite effect on my libido.
I turned, and even though I had no intention of leaving, Lane moved quickly to wrap his arms securely around my shoulders. He was still seated on his stool, but he had scooted further to the edge.
“Don’t.” The words brushed past my ear in a soft growl.
“I didn’t plan on it.”
“We had one night, Gemma. If you haven’t noticed, I decided not to come back for more. Hell, I gave you a fake name!”
Gemma looked down at me from her four-inch heels. I took in her wild, blonde hair that should have looked like a rumpled mess but seemed to work perfectly, and her tight perky body that had clearly never birthed children. She seemed exactly like the type of girl Lane should be with. But he’d obviously had her and he didn't stick around for more. She sized me up slowly, from my flat shoes to my large breasts, before stopping at my face.
“You’d rather leave with her? You’d rather sleep with her instead of me?” The ugliness in her voice bled through her entire demeanor, and the beautiful blonde standing in front of us didn’t appear so alluring to me anymore. Maybe Lane had seen that side of her as well. “I know you, Lane.”
“The hell you do,” he interrupted.
She smiled through her bright red lips. “I do. You like pretty faces. Trust me, you’d be distracted all night by that god-awful scar.”
Oh, hell no. There went any remaining warm and fuzzy buzz I had hoped to keep. Damn her again. I didn’t even get a chance to react because the instant the word ‘scar’ left her blood red lips, it seemed as if the bar erupted.
I was suddenly moved to the side with a gentle but demanding force. Lane’s large figure stood so fast he was practically a large blur blowing past me. He came to a stop directly in front of Gemma and leered down at her.
“What the hell did you just say?” he growled through his teeth. His fists clenched tightly to his sides until they were a pale white color. I put my hand on his back, but it only caused a tremor to rock through his tense muscles. “Don’t you ever talk about her like that. I love that scar.”
Gemma stood with her mouth agape. “I… I… I…” she stuttered, clearly shocked at his forceful reaction.
Jace moved in quickly and placed his hand on Lane’s chest. I could tell he was subtly trying to move him back, but Lane wasn’t having that. Audrey dipped under Jace’s arm and squeezed in between the two big guys.
“Why am I having to ask you to leave… again?” Audrey tried to sound nonchalant, but I could hear the anger that she was trying to withhold.
Gemma glanced once again at Lane’s face and wisely decided to step away, although I really doubted she felt any remorse for her words. It was that thought that brought the catty side out in me. I couldn’t help it—I swore I wasn’t usually like that.
“Hate to break it you, but he’s been sleeping with me every night for a month. So while you get off in your bed alone over one measly night you had with him, I get the real thing, night after night,” I announced. She sneered at me and continued to move away. “And let me tell you, he’s never distracted.”
After I watched her move through the crowded bar and then out the double doors, I finally let myself turn and face Lane. Jace pounded his back and moved away, while Audrey looked at him with worried eyes. When Jace tugged her along with him, she shot me a nervous look in her retreat. I smiled at her, hoping to reassure her that I could handle this. After all, he was mine to handle.
Lane’s hands were still balled up tightly and his eyes were squeezed into thin little slits. A crinkle marred the corners of his beautiful eyes and his plump lips were pursed tightly. I reached up and gently ran my fingers over the signs of stress streaking across his face. I didn't say a word—I wanted him to speak first. I continued to run my hands across his jaw, over his cheeks, and into his hair. Over and over. Finally, I felt the tension begin to subside.
His first words surprised me. “I’m so sorry.”
“For what?” I grabbed a hold of his shirt and jerked to show my bewilderment.
“I shouldn't have been with girls like her. Why the f**k was I wasting my time with bitches like that?” He seemed to be talking to himself, but I decided to answer anyway.
“So you could save the real stuff for me?” I laughed. It was meant to be a joke to break the heavy tension, something to bring him out of his mood.
He finally looked down at me and grabbed a hold of my face. The brown of his eyes glowed into an outer green ring so bright that it was almost hypnotizing.
When I felt his fingers brush lightly across my scar, I closed my eyes. Why did everything have to go back to that horrid thing? “She tried to make this ugly.” His voice caught, and I could hear the real pain in his words.
“Well, it kind of is.”
“Stop.”
“I just want to forget that thing is even there.”
“I don’t.” He kissed three times down the length of it. “This scar is everything. It’s everything to me. It brought my daughter back to me. It brought Braden into my life. It brought you. It encompasses everything I love about you. Your strength, your determination, your stubbornness. Please, don’t let one of my mistakes make you feel any less, because I just wouldn’t be able to stand it. And if, after all that you still feel less than beautiful, well then… I’ll just have to keep finding ways to convince you otherwise.”
It was coming—I could feel it in my bones. The moment that would forever change us. The one that would eternally alter the way I looked at the world around me. If God forbid we ever parted ways, I would forever chase this moment. I wanted to brand everything about it deep into my skin. The clinking glasses. The hoots of excitement over a game of pool. Our friends laughing and smiling. But most of all, the look in Lane’s eyes when he finally realized that his daughter wasn't the only girl that owned his heart.
My hands slid under his arms and around to his strong backside, so he could hold me even closer. “Everything you love about me?”
“Is that the only part you heard?” He smiled.
I shook off his words. “I heard it all. But…”
His head dipped down and he rested his face next to mine. I felt his warm breaths near my ear and before he spoke, an exciting electric energy blasted through me. “Not in a bar,” he murmured.
“In a bar,” I argued. “Don’t break the moment.”
We stayed huddled together, not wanting to move even an inch away from one another. “It’s not supposed to happen in a place like this. It should be somewhere romantic. Like our bed, so I can slide in you while I whisper softly in your ear.”
“That sounds… amazing.” I wished my words weren’t so breathy. To distract him from his hesitation and myself from my lusty desires, I grabbed the back of his head and forced our lips to meet in a hungry duel. He growled past my lips and pulled me onto his lap up on the barstool. I immediately felt his desire for me under my thighs.
“Really?” I glanced down at his lap.
“As long as you’re in the same room, that’s just how it’s gonna be.”
I continued seizing his mouth with my own again. His plump lips surrounded mine, and I never wanted to be kissed any other way ever again.
He pulled back and panted as he tried to catch his breath. “Damn you, woman. You never let me set the pace and do things when I want to. You attack everything, right in the moment.”
Once again, these didn't sound like bad things to me so I smirked up at him. “You love that about me.”
“Fine!” he huffed. He tried to appear annoyed, but I could see the smile in his eyes that he loved this. “I love you. I can’t believe you’re making me tell you this for the first time in a damn bar, but I love you!”
“God, you’re even hotter when you’re flustered.” I smiled from ear to ear as my heart floated high above us.
“Raegan…” he growled.
“I love you… so much,” I whispered. “I know you didn’t expect to get me when you came for Kate, but you did. You are the reason I have been able to adjust back to real life so easily. During what should have been the most confusing time in my life, I found I could trust in you and I’ll love you forever for giving that to me. Thank you for being a marvelous dad to Kate and loving her the way you do. And thank you for taking exceptional care of Braden.”
“I love Braden, too.”
“You don’t have to say that,” I whispered. I knew that a relationship between a man and another man’s child would take time.
“I’m not just saying that. I love that little guy. The second he stood up to me at the police station to protect Kate, I loved him. ”
My eyes welled with tears because I’d never imagined I would find someone who could even come close to loving Braden as much as I did. I had always wanted a strong male figure in his life, but after he was born I had just accepted that I would have to play both roles for him. Lane smiled at me and swiped his thumb under my eyes.
