Before I Wake
Page 47
But you get to come to my house in the middle of the night, drunk, and try to kiss me?
Nash frowned. I said I was sorry about that.
No, actually, I dont think you did. Not for that specific offense, anyway. I pulled out his desk chair and sat. So, are you sorry?
He sighed, then sat up and met my gaze boldly. No. You kissed him when you were with me. How was I supposed to know that road doesnt run both ways?
Nash I hardly knew where to begin. If you dont love Sabine, you have to tell her. Youre all she wants. Youre all she thinks about. Youre all she has.
I do love her. How could I not? he said, and I had no idea how to answer that one. What did you think this was going to be like, Kaylee? Did you think you could dump me, and Id bounce back to her and miraculously be happy? Im not a Ping-Pong ball. You cant just swat me back and forth and expect me to be content wherever I land. If Tod dumped you tomorrow, would you come back to me?
I shook my head slowly, pushing myself back and forth a couple of inches in his wheeled desk chair. What had I thought things would be like between us after the breakup? The truth was that I hadnt given it much thought. I hadnt expected to live past my own death.
Look. I love SabineI probably always willbut that doesnt mean I dont still love you, too. Its not a switch I can just flip off. I wish it was, because Id flip it in a minute. I dont think I even like you anymore, but I cant get you out of my head, and it hurts to see you, Kaylee.
Im sorry. Im so sorry. But you still have to come to school, if for no other reason than that our strength is in numbers.
Im fine. Baskerville starts barking if anything inhuman or undead gets within twenty feet of the house, in this plane or in the Netherworld. How do you think I knew you were here?
So he hadnt heard me talking to his mom, after all.
Im not worried about you, Nash. But Sabine and Emma are both at school with no Netherworld guard dogs looking after them. Or did you forget that a rogue reaper tried to kill your girlfriend last night?
Shes not my
Save it. I rolled my eyes and walked the chair closer. You love her and youre sleeping with her. Do you really think its worth arguing over how you define your relationship?
I dont think thats any of your business.
Okay, he had a point there. But that didnt change anything. Get dressed. Youre going to school.
I dont feel like it. He lay back on the pillow again, and suddenly I understood how my father had felt when Id refused to get up that morning.
No one feels like going to school. Least of allme. But if I have to go, so do you.
Nash shrugged and put one hand behind his head again. Who says you have to go?
My dad. The state of Texas. When that made no difference, my temper flared. You want to stop loving me? I think I can help you out with that. I snatched the T-shirt slung over his footboard, then sat on the bed and grabbed his free hand. Then I closed my eyes and pictured the alley behind the doughnut shop, where Id seen Thane the day before. That was as close as I could get to the halfway point between Nashs house and the schoolwhich was as far as I could go with him in towand it was the place least likely to be populated.
What are you? Nash tried to jerk free from my grip, but I held on tight, and a second later, I fell onto my butt on rough concrete. What the hell?
I opened my eyes to find Nash lying on his back on the ground, propped up on one elbow, one hand still gripped in mine.
Where are we?
Almost there. I closed my eyes again, and pictured the first-floor supply closet, across the hall from the teachers lounge. An instant later we were there, in the dark, Nash sprawled out on the floor with me sitting beside him.
What the hell, Kaylee? He jerked his hand from my grip, and when he tried to sit up, something crashed to the ground with an ominous-sounding slosh.
Hang on. I stood carefully and felt around on the wall next to the door. When I flipped the switch, dim light flooded the small space from a bare lightbulb overhead, highlighting Nashs angry face with dramatic shadows. Heres your shirt. I think second periods almost over.
Damn it, Kaylee! He jerked the shirt over his head, then shoved his arms through the sleeves. I dont even have any shoes!
Dont you keep cleats in your locker? I asked as he stood, glaring down at me.
I cant walk around all day in baseball cleats!
I shrugged. Then go barefoot.
Take me home, Kaylee. Now.
No. I crossed both arms over my chest. You cant just stay at home and pout when everyone you care about is at risk. All we have is one another, Nash. You, me, Sabine, Emma, and Tod. You owe it to usall of usto look out for us like we look out for you.
Like you were looking out for me when you kissed my brother? he demanded. Or when you framed me for murder?
More like when Tod and Sabine kept you from overdosing or hurting yourself when you fell off the wagon. Or when I made a deal with Levi and Madeline to clear your name. Or when Tod got rid of the dealer who supplied you with frost in the first place. Do you even know what he did? I demanded, and Nash shook his head, brushing dust from the ground off his pants.
Nash frowned. I said I was sorry about that.
No, actually, I dont think you did. Not for that specific offense, anyway. I pulled out his desk chair and sat. So, are you sorry?
He sighed, then sat up and met my gaze boldly. No. You kissed him when you were with me. How was I supposed to know that road doesnt run both ways?
Nash I hardly knew where to begin. If you dont love Sabine, you have to tell her. Youre all she wants. Youre all she thinks about. Youre all she has.
I do love her. How could I not? he said, and I had no idea how to answer that one. What did you think this was going to be like, Kaylee? Did you think you could dump me, and Id bounce back to her and miraculously be happy? Im not a Ping-Pong ball. You cant just swat me back and forth and expect me to be content wherever I land. If Tod dumped you tomorrow, would you come back to me?
I shook my head slowly, pushing myself back and forth a couple of inches in his wheeled desk chair. What had I thought things would be like between us after the breakup? The truth was that I hadnt given it much thought. I hadnt expected to live past my own death.
Look. I love SabineI probably always willbut that doesnt mean I dont still love you, too. Its not a switch I can just flip off. I wish it was, because Id flip it in a minute. I dont think I even like you anymore, but I cant get you out of my head, and it hurts to see you, Kaylee.
Im sorry. Im so sorry. But you still have to come to school, if for no other reason than that our strength is in numbers.
Im fine. Baskerville starts barking if anything inhuman or undead gets within twenty feet of the house, in this plane or in the Netherworld. How do you think I knew you were here?
So he hadnt heard me talking to his mom, after all.
Im not worried about you, Nash. But Sabine and Emma are both at school with no Netherworld guard dogs looking after them. Or did you forget that a rogue reaper tried to kill your girlfriend last night?
Shes not my
Save it. I rolled my eyes and walked the chair closer. You love her and youre sleeping with her. Do you really think its worth arguing over how you define your relationship?
I dont think thats any of your business.
Okay, he had a point there. But that didnt change anything. Get dressed. Youre going to school.
I dont feel like it. He lay back on the pillow again, and suddenly I understood how my father had felt when Id refused to get up that morning.
No one feels like going to school. Least of allme. But if I have to go, so do you.
Nash shrugged and put one hand behind his head again. Who says you have to go?
My dad. The state of Texas. When that made no difference, my temper flared. You want to stop loving me? I think I can help you out with that. I snatched the T-shirt slung over his footboard, then sat on the bed and grabbed his free hand. Then I closed my eyes and pictured the alley behind the doughnut shop, where Id seen Thane the day before. That was as close as I could get to the halfway point between Nashs house and the schoolwhich was as far as I could go with him in towand it was the place least likely to be populated.
What are you? Nash tried to jerk free from my grip, but I held on tight, and a second later, I fell onto my butt on rough concrete. What the hell?
I opened my eyes to find Nash lying on his back on the ground, propped up on one elbow, one hand still gripped in mine.
Where are we?
Almost there. I closed my eyes again, and pictured the first-floor supply closet, across the hall from the teachers lounge. An instant later we were there, in the dark, Nash sprawled out on the floor with me sitting beside him.
What the hell, Kaylee? He jerked his hand from my grip, and when he tried to sit up, something crashed to the ground with an ominous-sounding slosh.
Hang on. I stood carefully and felt around on the wall next to the door. When I flipped the switch, dim light flooded the small space from a bare lightbulb overhead, highlighting Nashs angry face with dramatic shadows. Heres your shirt. I think second periods almost over.
Damn it, Kaylee! He jerked the shirt over his head, then shoved his arms through the sleeves. I dont even have any shoes!
Dont you keep cleats in your locker? I asked as he stood, glaring down at me.
I cant walk around all day in baseball cleats!
I shrugged. Then go barefoot.
Take me home, Kaylee. Now.
No. I crossed both arms over my chest. You cant just stay at home and pout when everyone you care about is at risk. All we have is one another, Nash. You, me, Sabine, Emma, and Tod. You owe it to usall of usto look out for us like we look out for you.
Like you were looking out for me when you kissed my brother? he demanded. Or when you framed me for murder?
More like when Tod and Sabine kept you from overdosing or hurting yourself when you fell off the wagon. Or when I made a deal with Levi and Madeline to clear your name. Or when Tod got rid of the dealer who supplied you with frost in the first place. Do you even know what he did? I demanded, and Nash shook his head, brushing dust from the ground off his pants.
